This is my first fanfic ever. Please be kind.
Unknown Desires
That large green Namekian has SOME nerve! For seven months now (that I know of) he has been sneaking around my home. Yes that's right. Sneaking. As uncharacteristic as that may sound, there can be no other word for it. I know he is there. Every day and every night, he is lurking right on the edge of the forrest somewhere. It's rather rude actually. Does he not have the decency to show his face? He must take me for some sort of fool, if he actually believes I am unaware of his powerful presence. When I first noticed he was near, despite the fact that Goku had become so fond of him, I must admit I was somewhat disturbed. The idea of a large green alien watching me, as well as Gohan, was very unnerving. I wasn't sure how to handle the situation, so I decided to ignore him.
As time passed though, I found myself feeling quite comfortable with him being close by. Gohan seemed to be unaffected by it, so I accepted that Piccolo, for reasons unknown, had made himself our guardian in some way. I felt at ease knowing that there was someone watching out for just us, incase we needed it. Goku has been gone for almost a year now, as well as the stable and safe feeling he always gave me. Piccolo has replaced that feeling though, with one to rival it. I'm not sure when I realized it, or what brought me to acknowledge it...but the truth is, Piccolo has become more devoted to Goku's family than Goku himself ever was.
Don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying Goku didn't love us. Or care about us. We just weren't his number one priority. I always knew that's how it would be when I married Goku, I just didn't realize how much it would hurt every time he left us. I never knew how long he would be gone or when he would be back, if he ever came back at all. I always told myself that while he was away, he was thinking of us and missing us just as much as we were him. However when he would return I always knew the truth. He hadn't given us a second thought. Or atleast me anyways. He was always thrilled to see Gohan again. I was lucky if I received a kiss on the cheek. Yet I loved him anyway. I worried for him while he was gone as longed for his return.
This time is different though.
This time he left, for who knows how long, without even saying good-bye. Gohan isn't accustomed to his father's lack of consideration as I am. Goku and I have slowly but steadily grown apart since his last return, so I wasn't surprised to learn from someone other than him, that he had left once again. I've actually been handling it quite well, (thanks to a certain green alien) but Gohan is another matter. When he learned of Goku's departure, he was crushed. There are no words to describe how much his father had let him down, so I won't even bother trying. Out of all the years I have known Goku, I had never felt anything for him other than love and affection...until he did this. This was too much. This time he went too far. I have no idea when he will be back, if he comes back at all. Even though I am alright with the idea of never seeing him again, our son is not. I thought after some time had passed, Gohan would get better. He hasn't. He has questions and he needs answers. Answers that I cannot give.
That is why I am outside right now, in the middle of the night, and in the freezing rain. If there is one person on this planet that can help Gohan through this, it is Piccolo. He adores that green giant for some reason. I myself have never understood Gohan's admiration for the Namekian. I myself would hate someone who basically kidnapped me, only to dump me in the wilderness so he could beat the hell out of me till I got stronger. But maybe that's just me.
I'm not feeling to friendly right now towards to over sized twig of brocoli. Mainly because I'm positive that he knows as well as I do what Gohan has been going through all this time, yet he hasn't made his presence known to him. That's makes me furious! I didn't find out untill today that Gohan has no idea Piccolo is around. I thought perhaps Gohan hadn't went to Piccolo yet because he didn't want to talk about Goku leaving. Every time I bring the subject up to ask how he feels, he quickly exits the room somehow. So for me to learn that Piccolo has been hiding from my baby, knowing good and well that Gohan has never needed him more, makes me want to explode with anger! Just who the hell does that damned Namekian think he is! That question, as well as others, has been plaguing me since my talk with Gohan this morning when he informed me that he had no idea where Piccolo was, after I reluctantly suggested he pay him a visit for old times sake.
I hate him for this. I hate him for keeping me awake most of this night with questions concerning him. I hate him for making me come outside to look for him in the darkest of nights, in the coldest of rains. I can't even see two feet infront of me. The rain is so heavy that I wouldn't even be able to hear if some sort of wild animal was approaching me. I'm cold, soaking wet, alone and scared. I hate him for making me feel so weak and needy. Whether I like it or not, my son needs him.
I just need to find him right now. I know he's out here somewhere. I want to cross my arms and hold them as close to my body as I can for warmth, but I need to keep them outstretched so I don't walk into a tree. This must be what it feels like to be blind. My hands and fingers have to become my eyes. It would be pointless to turn back now. I seriously doubt I could get home anyways, since I've turned around so many times. I'm lost.
This idea alarms me greatly. I try with all my might to keep the tears from forming, but to no avail. I'm alone is this dark forrest without anyway to protect myself. What was I thinking coming out here like this? That Namekina has taken over my thoughts and has driven me to the point of insanity. Just another reason to hate him right now. I try to yell his name, but all that comes from my throat is a choked sob. I can't do this. I'm lost and I'm not even able to yell for help. I've never felt so pathetic. The rush of self-pity consumes me as I slide down beside the tree I just ran into.
That's when I hear it...
What is that? Is that...growling? Where is it coming from? Is it growling at me? I think it's getting closer.
I manage to find my voice as fear engulfs me.
"PICCOLO!"
I start running faster than I ever have I'm sure. Limbs are scratching at my arms as I run through some brush, snagging on my cloths and slightly tearing my skin. Then the real pain hits. My right shoulder starts burning and aching as I am being knocked to the wet ground from behind.
"PICCOLO PLEASE, I NEED YOU!"
It is in that moment I see a bright flash of light. The heavy weight that was once atop me has now been lifted. The light lingering is so beautiful. For several seconds I wonder to myself if this is the light people claim to see when they are near death. That idea is crushed however as I am being pulled roughly to my feet my my left arm. I slowly look up into dark, peircing eyes. It's him. His cold eyes have always disturbed me, but this time...this time there is an emotion in them. I can't think clearly though. The pain in my shoulder is to great. I know it must be broken.
"You don't strike me as the type to make ignorant decisions. You must be as stupid as all other humans though to be out here durring..."
He never finishes what he was going to say...seeing as how I burst into tears. I'm not sure if I'm crying from pain, or from the joy of him saving me. Whatever the reason I find it impossible to control my emotions at the moment slump into his surprisingly warm chest. His grip on my arm loosens and I reach up to grab his shirt with my left fist. I feel him tense under my sudden actions, as he tries to step back a bit.
"Woman, stop your useless crying. I killed the beast attacking you, so there is nothing left to worry about."
As I gaze into his eyes I am saddened to see no hint of the emotion that was there just moments before. I let my head drop in shame. I've always felt so...little...around him.
"Now explain why you were out here to begin with."
He places his hands on my shoulders to push me back so I will look at him, but when he does I am reminded of the intense pain in my right shoulder, and I cry out in agony.
He immediately releases me and I once again see that unknown emotion in his eyes.
"I'll take you home."
Is it concern? There's no way. It must be anger. He's angry that I disturbed him and he had to come rescue me. He's angry because now he feels as though he must take me home. Once more I am overwhelmed with emotions and shame.
"You don't have to."
I look down at the ground below me. There is not a dry spot on my body, I'm sure I will be sick tomorrow, my arm is broken, and I have no idea which direction my home is. I just want to get away from him though. Away from the embarassment. Away from that look in his eyes...
"I won't allow you to make another stupid decision woman. Follow me."
I once again begin to sob as I walk behind, down the his path towards my home.
