"Puck?"
Shit, what the hell was he doing here? Puck hastily scrubbed at his eyes, attempting to remove any evidence of what he had been doing for the past hour, knowing his efforts to be futile.
"Puck, you in here?" His bedroom door creaked open, and in walked Finn. "I just let myself in. Did you forget about Call of Duty?"
"Nah, man, I was coming right down. Christ." He turned his face away, hoping that his best friend wouldn't notice the tear streaks down his face, or his puffy, red eyeballs. No such luck.
"You okay, dude?" The softness of Finn's voice brought more god damn tears into Puck's eyes, just when he thought he'd gotten rid of the damn things.
"I'm fine."
"Puck..." Finn walked across the room and sat down on the bed next to Puck, putting an arm across his back. "Talk to me, buddy." The hand on Puck's shoulder began making small, soothing circles.
Damn Finn and his damn sympathy. That was all he needed, for the big goof to push him over the edge again. The tears streamed down his face once more, and his shoulders shook with the effort of holding back the threatening sobs. "It's B-Beth."
The hand stopped, only for a second, before resuming the comforting strokes. They had avoided mentioning the baby that had come between them in their sophomore year, but with Shelby bringing her back into Lima, and into Puck's life, it couldn't be avoided any longer. "I screwed up man. I screwed up so bad."
Puck let it all out for the first time since he and Quinn gave up Beth over a year ago. He talked about how it felt to hold Beth, and how he felt that giving her up was the worst mistake of his life. He talked about how disappointed his mom was in him, and how he'll never be able to make another child with anyone.
Finn didn't know what to do. In the twelve years he's known Puck, he's never seen his best friend cry. He knew exactly what he would have done if it were Quinn or Rachel crying in his arms, but he didn't think Puck would appreciate that.
"Why does nobody love me, Finn?" Puck asked. "Nobody. Quinn didn't love me; she regretted what we did the second it happened. Rachel never loved me; she only used me to get over you or to make you jealous. Hell, I couldn't even get Lauren to love me. What's wrong with me Finn?"
The pain in his eyes was killing Finn; he couldn't stand to see Puck hurting like this. "I love you, man."
A ghost of a smile crossed Puck's lips. "Thanks, man, but it's not the same." He looked down to where his hands lay in his lap.
It could be, Finn thought. Without thinking, or realizing what he was doing, he reached a hand up to Puck's face, turning it towards him. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to his friend's, pulling back quickly. He wasn't sure what he expected from Puck; a disgusted look, shouting, a punch in the face. He certainly expected something; not Puck sitting there like a statue, mouth hanging open, blinking slowly. After an eternity of internal debate—should he do it again? Should he just leave? Did he give Puck a stroke?—Finn slowly, ever so slowly, leaned forward again, giving Puck plenty of opportunity to pull away, and pressed his lips once more to the other boy's, closing his eyes. A couple of seconds later, he felt a soft, tentative pressure on his lips, and Puck's calloused fingers nervously fluttering on his jaw, before the mowhawked teen pulled away.
They sat there staring at each other, wondering if their relationship had just changed forever, and if this change was good or bad. Neither boy could bring himself to break the heavy silence. A thousand different emotions flickered across each face, ranging from confusion and fear to happiness and gratitude. This time Puck closed the distance between them, crushing his lips to Finn's with a desperation that he would never admit to. He pushed Finn's long body into the bed as Finn opened his mouth to allow Puck access, and the desperate boy kissed him with teeth-clashing, mouth-bruising intensity. Finn allowed Puck to take out all of his hurt, pain, and emotion on him, until eventually there was nothing left and Puck collapsed beside Finn, emotionally exhausted.
Finn rolled over on to his side and gazed at his best friend. He didn't feel any different, any gayer, but he knew without a doubt that he loved Puck in a way he never realized before.
Puck realized something too. Who the hell needed all of the drama and bullshit from divas and baby mamas, when he could get everything he needed from Finn.
In a silent moment of understanding, they both leaned in to seal the deal with a tender, chaste kiss.
