"Loving me for me" - a FF8 romance fic

WARNING: Rated R for YAOI (definitely), language, very mild violence, and graphic sex scenes. It's an AU, kinda.

Summary: The story takes place on the concert at FH, right after Rinoa and Squall got into a fight and she leaves him there, alone with his thoughts.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the boys of FF8.. But I don't. ^^; As a matter of fact, I don't own FF8 or any characters/storylines contained therein. Darn.

I DO own a computer, a few sheets of paper and a pencil, in case anyone is interested..

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AN:

Okay, so.. This is my first FF8 fic in English. And It probably will be my first yaoi too. Wow.. 0.o;

Please R & R, I would really appreciate it!

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What the hell was I thinking, going with Rinoa to that concert? I should have known we would get into a fight.. I hate concerts anyway. Stupid.

I'm stupid. I fucking made the girl cry. I didn't mean it, though.. She IS good enough for me. The thing is that I am not good enough for her..

I always seem to hurt the people I love, and they always seem to hurt me. But I don't love Rinoa. As a friend, yes. Who couldn't love Rinoa Hartilly?

She's pretty, smart, and she sometimes even manages to make me smile. I know she likes me, but It's not my fault I'm this screwed up.

I don't feel like talking, not tonight. I have too much to think about, or rather not to think about.

I'm sorry Rin..

"Howdy Squall, how are ya?" I raised my chin to see Irvine sitting on the edge of the stone platform next to his 'naughty magazine', as Rinoa had called it.

I hadn't noticed that the music had stopped. Suddenly it was too quiet for me. I realized I hadn't greeted the cowboy, but he didn't seem to mind though.

He just grinned and jumped from the platform, gracefully landing on the shiny blue tiles. I shook my head slowly. Show-off..

"So like.. Did you two had a fight or somethin'?" He asked. "I saw Rinoa running off, all tears and mascara."

"Yes, we had." I answered honest. "But It's none of your business."

"I know, I know.. I just wanted to, you know.."

"To laugh at me?"

"No." Something in his eyes told me that last comment hurt him. His violet eyes, I never noticed the color of his eyes before.. I stared at them, fascinated.

"Too see if ya where alright.." Irvine finished awkwardly.

"Wha..?" Was all that came out of my mouth as I snapped out of my thoughts.

'He must be joking, right?'

"Well, the show's over cowboy, you can go now. No need in staying here." I said flatly.

He glared at me from under the rim of his hat. "Yeah.. Sure, leader." He said, trying to sound casual and slightly annoyed at the same time. "Just don't come runnin' too me with your personal problems anytime soon.."

'Sure Kinneas, like that would ever happen..'

He climbed back up. And just before he walked away, he tipped his hat at me. His long coat swayed around his body as he turned around and walked away, severly pissed.

I.. I don't understand this guy. I really don't. He's so, unpredictable.. I treat him like dirt, and his still sums up enough respect to greet me before he leaves. Strange guy.

I shook my head and climbed up the platform myself, making my way to the stairs.

The stage looked deserted and dark now. I hope the others enjoyed the evening. I sure as hell didn't..

I walked the stairs slowly, I didn't feel like sleeping anymore, so there was no point in hurrying. I sat down on the top step, staring into the darkblue sky.

And just when I thought I was alone, I heard light footsteps approach. "Who's there?" I asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Me." I heard a happy female voice reply. A few seconds later Selphie sat down next to me on the step, her feautures highlighted yellow by the street lights.

"Hey stud! What'cha doing here all alone?"

"Nothing."

"Ah, well.. Maybe you would take a look at these pictures I took then." She handed me a pink photo album, and I uninterestingly flipped trough it until I spotted a photograph of her and Irvine. They looked happy together.. Smiling and hugging each other. Too happy. And I was jealous.. And that wasn't even the worst part.

I wasn't jealous of Irvine but on poor sweet Selphie. I actually blushed when she asked me If I liked him.

I didn't answer, It wasn't necessarily. She seemed happy answering her own question. "I think he's a real sweet understanding guy." She told me, giggling. "And he's good-looking too!"

I didn't know how to respond, so I just looked at the photo's again.

There where some pictures of the Garden and even a few of Balamb. The next few pages where full with photographs of the group. There was one with Zell doing some shadowboxing, Rinoa sitting on a bench with Angelo on her lap, Quistis looking pissed, a photo of Selphie photographing herself in the mirror, one of Irvine in nothing but a towel and his hat, another one of Selphie..

'What the..!?'

I looked at the one of Irvine again, blinking a few times. He looked beautiful.

Wet auburn hair was framing his pretty face, and he had a wide sexy smile on his lips. Violet eyes where sparkling with laughter as the cowboy held a white fluffy towel around his slim hips with one hand. The other one was tipping his head, just like he had done to me, before he left me alone.

Suddenly Selphie began to laugh, very loud and hysterically. A least, that's how it sounded to me..

"Whoops, tee-hee! I don't know how that one got there." She said between giggles, quickly snatching the photo away from me and stuffing it in one of the small pockets on her bright yellow sundress.

I frowned slightly. "So.. Do you two have a 'thing' already?" I asked.

She looked at me, puzzled. 'What, me and Irvy?'

'So she gave him a nickname too..?'

I frowned and nodded, looking at my gloved hands.

"Oh no, whe're just good friends. Besides, between you and me, I think he likes Quisty." She was quiet for a second. "But then again.. Doesn't he like them all?"

"I don't know.."

"You do now." She pointed out, smiling at me. "Anyway.." She rubbed her upper arms with her hands and shivered. "It's getting cold. I think I'd better go back in."

She raised her head as I got up, looking at me with interest. Her big green eyes followed my every move as I took off my jacket and handed it to her.

After staring at the leather garment in my hands for a second, she smiled and put it on. "Aw, thanks Squall. You're so sweet!"

"No, I'm not." I responded, instantly regretting my actions when she hugged my arm. After this she'll probably run to her friends and tell them what I did. Stupid.

"Aren't you kinda cold in that?" She asked, referring to my sleeveless white shirt. I just shrugged, not feeling in the mood to talk anymore. Unlike me, she sure felt like it.

"You know, I really love that necklace of yours.." She fingered it "Irvine has one too, his is different though. It looks kinda Indian and the contrast between the bonze of his skin and the gold of the necklace looks really good.. Which reminds me kinda of this bracelet that I bought a while ago. You know, the one with the feathers that I-"

'Hyne no..'

"I think I'll be going now." I said quickly.

"Oh, right.." She looked at photo album I handed her. "Don't you need your jacket back?" She asked me as I walked away.

I shook my head. "Keep it, I will get it back tomorrow."

"Thanks Squall!" She called, and I smiled, a little..

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AN:

That's chapter one of my fic.

It's a little short, I know.. But there's more to come. If.. you review that is. ^^

Oh BTW: I'm Dutch, and Word is doing some strange stuff lately. So please don't mind the flaws, or even better.. Tell me if you find any.

-Nathalie