Disclaimer: I do not own Bunk'd.

Warning: Contains depictions of consensual m/f sex.

A/N: This is the first in an open-ended series of Emma/Xander oneshots. Each chapter is a complete, standalone story, and the stories aren't necessarily in chronological order. Most, if not all, of the stories will be Emma-centric. At this stage I don't know how many chapters I will be writing, so Laid will remain marked as in-progress for the indefinite future.

Special thanks to my beta-reader Lushcoltrane.

Note on chronology: I imagine this story being set after Emma and Xander have been together for a while, since they seem rather comfortable with each other. I would place it around the middle of the show's second season.


Midnight Snack

Emma glanced down at her gold-and-diamond Rolex one last time, smiling as the soft glow of the bathroom's night-light showed the minute hand finally reaching the designated time. She'd given herself fifteen minutes to get ready, and had very impressively done it in ten - a feat she would never have achieved back home in New York, before coming to summer camp. Sharing a bare-essentials bathroom with three other girls in a tiny cabin had certainly taught her how to streamline her preparation routine. She'd spent the last five minutes doing final checks in the small, grimy mirror above the sink, or impatiently watching the second hand on her watch do lazy revolutions around the artistically designed watch-face. Longest five minutes ever!

Emma cracked open the bathroom door and peered cautiously into the main part of the Woodchuck Cabin, looking and listening to make sure that each and every one of her bunkmates was sound asleep. Satisfied, the blonde opened the door the rest of the way and tiptoed through the room, her footsteps silent in her rubber-soled joggers, making sure to avoid those floorboards that she knew creaked. She headed towards the front door, pausing when Lou began stirring in her bed. Emma froze and held her breath, but her quirky friend just sleep-mumbled something about pigs, then rolled over and started softly snoring again. Exhaling in relief, Emma managed to make it the rest of the way to the front door without further incident. She carefully opened it and slipped through, closing it noiselessly behind her.

Still doing her best to stay quiet, Emma lightly stepped off the wooden porch and set off down the side of the building. She threaded her way through the deep shadows between and behind the cabins, guided mostly by memory, with a little assistance from the scattered beams of moonlight shining down through the patchy cloud-cover above. Apart from the occasional rustlings of small woodland critters getting out of her way, the campground was silent. It was well past midnight, and the air was damp and cool, the ground still wet from an earlier rain shower. She was glad she had chosen to wear just a light hoodie as her top tonight - warm enough, but easy to get on and off in the dark. Her long blonde hair she had left loose, and it hung in artfully-mussed waves past her shoulders. 'I just woke up like this, Xander, I swear.' She smiled and picked up her pace, the familiar butterflies starting to build in her stomach as she got closer to the agreed-upon meeting spot. No matter how many times she'd snuck out for a night-time rendezvous this summer, the excitement never wore off.

She saw Xander waiting for her just where he'd promised, mostly hidden from view in the shadows near the outskirts of the campground where the woods began. He appeared as a solid and athletically-proportioned figure outlined in the pale moonlight. Emma risked breaking into a little jog for the last few steps, so that she could throw herself into his arms all the more dramatically. Xander embraced her, wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her close against his warm chest. Their lips met in a sweet, lingering kiss.

"Hi there, beautiful," he said when they separated.

"Hey you," she replied playfully, then a few seconds later leaned back in for another kiss. "So, where shall we go tonight, my love?" she asked, still flirty.

"I've found a new place. I think you'll like it." Xander took Emma's hand, but instead of leading her out into the woods like she was expecting, he instead guided her back towards the centre of the campground, making sure to pick a route that kept them mostly in the shadows or behind cover, out of casual view of anyone who might happen to be awake.

Emma let him lead the way, frowning in puzzlement when she finally realised their destination. "The cafeteria?"

"Yeah," answered Xander, pulling Emma into the deeper shadows of the building's porch. "As a camp counsellor, I have access to a spare key." Xander fished in his pocket and triumphantly pulled out a dull, rusty old key. He unlocked the door, and ducked inside, tugging Emma along behind him. He closed the door behind them, making sure it locked again. Inside the cafeteria, it was pitch dark, the half-shuttered wooden slats on the windows blocking out the meagre moonlight from outside.

"Wait here'" said Xander. "We won't be able to turn the lights on in case someone sees. But I know where there're some candles." Pulling out a pocket flashlight to help see what he was doing, Xander managed to hunt down a candle in a spherical, coloured-glass holder, and get it lit with a BBQ lighter. He placed it at the far end of the room, underneath the pool table and away from the windows. In it's translucent glass shroud, it gave off only the faintest of visible light, just enough for the two of them to make out each other's silhouettes in the dimness, whilst likely not being visible to anyone passing by outside.

Xander came back over to where Emma stood, putting his arms around her waist. "How do you like the arrangements, Milady? Privacy, a roof over our heads, and a couch in the corner to use if we wish."

Emma smiled. "Not bad, McCormick. Much better than having to worry about whether another couple is going to stumble upon us. Or whether we're laying down in poison ivy. Or whether we're going to get rained on. Or attacked by a bear or enraged skunk."

Xander chuckled. "All just part of summer camp lovin', I'm afraid. It's not like we can just use one of our beds."

"I know," replied Emma. "Anywhere is fine, as long as it's with you. But this does make a nice upgrade over the usual." She kissed him then, and for a while there was no more talking, as they stood entwined in each other's arms, their lips and tongues busy exploring.

Xander gently nuzzled Emma's neck, placing tiny kisses from her collarbone up to her jaw. "I want you, Emma," he whispered hotly beside her ear, and she felt her body respond immediately to the need in his voice. The faint, fluttering butterflies in her tummy changed to a more noticeable and tangible feeling of warmth down low in her abdomen. He backed her up a few steps until her butt hit the end of one of the dining tables, and she leaned back against it a little, letting it support some of her weight. Xander's hands found their way to the waistband of her shorts, then up under her top, his fingers trailing up and down her sides, the skin-on-skin contact giving her goosebumps, even as their mouths remained melded together in increasingly urgent kisses.

Xander's fingers moved back to the front of her shorts, deftly unfastening the clasp and zipper. She leaned forward a little bit from the table to allow him to pull her shorts and underwear down to her ankles, then lifted up one foot at his urging so that he could get them completely free of at least one of her legs. Putting his hands on her waist, he helped her jump up backwards so she was sitting on the edge of the table. After another long, hot kiss, Xander dropped to his knees in front of her. Emma couldn't help but let out a soft moan when she realised where he was headed for, and her pulse quickened in anticipation. Draping one of Emma's long, shapely legs over his shoulder, Xander placed a soft kiss on the inside of one of her thighs, then blew gently on her rapidly-moistening centre, before lowering his mouth to her sex. Emma gasped and leaned back on her elbows, opening her thighs wider to give him as much access as he wanted. Xander began working away with his tongue, alternating between long slow licks up and down, and more fast and concentrated swirls around the taut bundle of nerves near the top. As Emma's breathing steadily became faster over the following minutes, Xander sped up his tongue-work to match. When he began focussing entirely on her clit, the blonde tangled her fingers in his hair and held his head in place against her, letting him know that she was close and really needed him to not stop.

Emma threw back her head and tried not to be too loud as she came, her legs trembling and her tummy twitching as the waves of pleasure pulsed throughout her body. "Aahh! Oh yes! Xander!"

Her boyfriend gave her a few more leisurely licks as she came down, sending little aftershocks through her. She sat up and pulled him towards her for a long, slow kiss, tasting herself on his lips. "Thank you. That was amazing," she sighed.

Emma reached down the front of his body, feeling for his cock through his shorts. She found him already rock-hard. Together they pushed his shorts and underwear down his legs. Emma took hold of his shaft, pumping him slowly as they continued to make out. She guided him to her entrance, running the head of his cock up and down her slit a few times to get him lubricated. Then he pushed inside of her in one slow, steady thrust, causing her to moan out loud yet again.

The blonde wrapped her legs around him, locking her ankles behind his back. Arms around his neck, she pulled him closer to her and further into her body, sighing in pleasure as his thick, hard length filled her up. They kissed passionately between short gasping breaths, joined at the mouths and the hips, as he began thrusting rhythmically inside her.

Urgency soon got the better of him, and he quickened his pace. Emma could feel Xander's body heating up as he worked towards his climax. With a loud gasp he buried his face in her neck, pulling her tight against his body. He spasmed and thrust against her a few more times as he spilled his seed deep inside her.

When Xander regained his breath, Emma gently cupped his face and drew him in for another kiss, this one sweet and full of affection. They gently disengaged from each other, and Xander handed Emma a kleenex out of a small pocket-pack, a second before the blonde managed to find which of her shorts pockets her own pack was in. She smiled in amusement as they both began cleaning up. It was nice that she and Xander were on the same page so much nowadays. It hadn't been like that when they'd first met. But it seemed like having to arrange secret hook-ups with someone night after night was a good way to foster teamwork. Ooh! Sex teamwork! They should totally make a camp award for that! She chuckled out loud as she suddenly had a vision of some weird competition, where the dozen-or-so older teen couples at camp had to score points by finding the best make-out spots, all the while avoiding natural hazards and detection by other campers.

Her boyfriend's voice interrupted her silly thoughts. "You always get giggly after sex."

"Hey! Women are entitled to have strange emotions after sex!" she shot back. "Or any time for that matter! And don't you forget it!"

Xander held up his hands in placation. "Hey, I wasn't saying it was wrong or anything! It was just an observation. I think it's really cute, actually."

Their clean-ups complete and the tissues in a nearby bin, the two of them managed to get their clothes back on properly, despite the poor light.

"We never did get to use that couch." Xander motioned to the other side of the cafeteria, where the dining area gave over to the rec' area.

"I'm not tired. We can stay here longer if you like." Emma lowered her voice suggestively. "Why don't we sit for a while then see about round two." It wouldn't be the first time they'd done it twice in a single night. Just one of the many advantages of having a young, fit boyfriend.

"Works for me." Xander happily complied.

They went over to the two-seater couch in the corner of the rec' area. Xander sat at one end, and Emma sat sideways on his lap, her long legs reaching to the opposite end, feet propped on the arm. She lay her head on his shoulder, and they just stayed that way for a while, breathing in each other's scent, and enjoying the contact between their bodies. They would kiss occasionally, stroking hands along arms or legs, sometimes reaching up under the other's top to caress hard muscle or soft pliant breasts. Being near the pool table and closer to the room's solitary lit candle, there was more light down this end of the building, allowing them to see each other more clearly. It wasn't long before Emma had taken Xander's teeshirt off, so that she could run her hands down his chest and gaze upon his toned physique. Although she was intimately familiar with his body, she never got tired of it. Apparently Xander felt the same way about her, because moments later he was divesting the blonde of her hoodie, and drinking in the view of her naked breasts - she hadn't bothered with a bra, since it would just be one more thing that would have to be taken off then put back on again.

Xander cupped her breasts in his hands, gently kneading them, and grazing his palms across her nipples, before sucking on each in turn. His touch instantly rekindled the heat of her desire, and she felt her nipples peaking and her centre becoming moist. Beneath her buttocks, she could feel Xander's manhood stirring, and she instinctively began grinding against him, eliciting a sharp gasp from her lover as he bucked up against her.

Emma hopped up off Xander's lap, and reached into his shorts and underwear, pulling out his rapidly-hardening cock. She went to her knees, and took him into her mouth, alternating between sucking on the head and bobbing up and down the length of the shaft. "Oh yeah," he groaned. It wasn't long before he was fully erect, his cock throbbing and standing at attention.

Emma stood up and quickly shimmied out of her shorts and panties, making sure to give an exaggerated wiggle of her hips for Xander's benefit. Meanwhile, Xander divested himself completely of his pants. Then, both of them gloriously naked except for their shoes, Emma straddled him, took hold of his shaft, and lowered herself down onto him. They both groaned as the blonde took his entire length into her body. She shifted around a bit to get used to the sensation of fullness, then began to bounce up and down on his cock. She settled into an easy rhythm, varying it now-and-then so as to grind her clit against his pubic bone. Xander's hands roamed over her body, stroking her back, cupping her ass, or playing with her boobs, every one of his caresses increasing the intensity of her arousal. A light sheen of sweat began to appear on her body, despite it being cool inside the building.

Xander shifted them sideways so that Emma was laying lengthwise on the couch, and he had one knee on the cushions and one foot on the floor. He was able to thrust into her faster this way, but the couch wasn't really long enough for Emma to fully lay on, with the arm soon digging into her upper back.

"Okay, not quite as comfortable as I'd thought," she complained. "Either I'm too tall, or this couch is too short."

"Sorry babe." Xander desisted immediately, and sat back down in his original position, presumably waiting for Emma to recommence doing her best cowgirl impersonation.

As Emma hopped up off the couch, she caught sight of the nearby pool table out of the corner of her eye. The nice, long pool table, padded with nice, soft, much-worn felt. A rather naughty idea occurred to her.

"Hey babe… You ever had sex on a pool table?"

"Noo…" he answered slowly, then suddenly grinned when he saw where she was going with this. "But I'd be happy to cross it off the bucket list with you!"

Emma walked the few steps over to the pool table. There were only a handful of the hard billiard balls currently resting on the felt surface, the majority being in various pockets around the table - obviously left that way by whoever played the last game. For once, Emma was glad of the generally low standards of camp organisation that allowed campers to get away with not cleaning up after themselves - having to clear all the balls off the table, then meticulously set them back up again afterwards, probably would have killed the spontaneous mood they were currently enjoying with this idea. The blonde rolled the last few balls into their closest pockets, making sure to bend way forward across the table, so that Xander behind her had a nice view of her shapely rear end waggling around. It had the desired effect - seconds later she felt his hands stroking down her back and kneading her buttocks.

"So, are you talking about doing it just leaning against the table, or actually on the pool table?" he asked. Emma thought it was rather polite of him to make sure he got it right. And as tempting as it was to just stay where she was and let him take her from behind, she had already made her decision.

"On the table. Pool table sex isn't something you normally have much opportunity to do. So I think we should fully commit," she joked. She hopped up onto the table and half-crawled, half-slid towards the centre, beckoning for Xander to follow her. He climbed onto the pool table after her.

"You know, it's gonna' be weird whenever we play pool from now on…"

"Yeah, but in a fun, sexy way," Emma asserted. "We're just making more wonderful summer camp memories…" She positioned herself laying on her back, head resting on the table's raised outer edge. There was more than enough room for her stretch out. Xander kneeled between her spread legs, rubbed his cock along her sex a few times, then pushed inside her once more.

Emma groaned in delight at the feel of him inside her. He started thrusting in and out at a goodly pace, not having to hold back for fear of finishing too quickly, since he'd already come once that night. Emma settled in to enjoy the ride. The worn felt of the table was soft beneath her, the padded edge just the right height to be a good pillow. They'd never had the opportunity to have sex in a proper bed whilst at camp, and this was probably the closest they'd get. It was nice to lay back and not worry about stones digging into her back, or bugs crawling onto her. From her position, she had a good view of Xander's upper body, the chiseled muscles of his torso thrown into sharp relief by the shadowy illumination. His eyes were dark with desire as he gazed down upon her. And all the while, Xander's cock was sliding against and massaging her slick inner walls, hitting all the right spots and giving her the most wonderful sensations. He had a firm hold of her thighs as he thrust into her, and would occasionally brush a thumb over her clit, eliciting sharp gasps of pleasure from her. Emma alternated between running her hands up and down his arms, or playing with her own nipples and enjoying the look of appreciation on Xander's face whenever she did so.

Emma felt the excitement building steadily within her, like a spring coiling ever-tighter. Her breathing sped up and her small noises of appreciation increased. Xander was now covered in sweat, and she could tell he was getting close to the inevitable explosion as well. Wanting to try one more thing tonight, she abruptly sat up and pulled away, then positioned herself so she was on her hands and knees, her rear end towards him. Taking the cue, Xander kneeled behind her, easily entered her once again, then took firm hold of her hips and resumed fucking her, this time doggy-style. Now Emma would get to experience him taking her from behind this night.

"Oh yeah!" she moaned. "Fuck me! Don't hold back!" He needed no further urging, and began pounding into her as fast and hard as he could, every thrust sending jolts of pleasure ricocheting around her body. The pressure within her quickly built past the point of no return. Several loud moans announced her climax, then her body tensed and spasmed as waves of pleasure exploded through her. Her sex clamped down hard around his member, and seconds later she felt his cock twitch and pulse inside her as he came, mixing his fluids with hers.

After taking a few moments to let their breathing become steady again, Xander dropped a kiss on Emma's shoulder, then slowly and gently slid out of her. "Stay there," he said, hopping off the pool table. Seconds later he was back, once again the man-on-the-spot-with-the-kleenex, and Emma was able to roll onto her side and begin clean-up procedures. She felt very sensitive 'down below', and would probably ache tomorrow. But it would be a good ache, and one that was worth it. And Xander was a sweet enough boyfriend that if Emma still had a sore vagina by tomorrow night, he would be happy just to make out and engage in some light petting.

When both of them had finished cleaning up, Emma held out her arms. "Help me down, babe. I think I'm about to sweat my silhouette into the felt."

Xander helped Emma hop down off the table, the blonde a little wobbly on her legs. " I wouldn't worry about it," he said. "Any sweat-stains will just blend in with all the food and drink stains that are already there."

"Now I'm not feeling so good about laying naked on it!"

"You sure sounded like you were feeling good when you were laying there not long ago," Xander shot back cheekily. "Besides… I'm sure it would be a very cute sweat-silhouette," he complimented.

"Aww… Thanks. You're sweet," replied Emma.

"Don't sweat it, babe," Xander punned terribly. "See what I did there?"

"Oy!" griped Emma. "That was bad!" But she couldn't stop herself from chuckling anyway.

"Got you giggling again!" pointed out Xander. "I also got you talking dirty there right at the end. You don't do that very often."

"Hey! Women are entitled to talk dirty during sex! Or any time for that matter!"

"Hey, not arguing!" Xander headed her off. "I think it's cute when you talk dirty."

"Aww… Thanks. But don't go expecting it every time. It's not something that comes naturally to me, you know."

"That's okay. You're perfect just the way you are." He put his arms around her then, and drew her in for a long hug, just holding her for a while without saying anything. She sighed in contentment and rested her head on his shoulder, loving the feel of being wrapped in his affectionate, non-judgemental embrace… And the feel of his body against hers. His very naked body against her very naked body… with her sensitive nipples pressing against his firm chest… and his flaccid manhood pushed against her mound.

She groaned inwardly as she once again felt the first stirrings of arousal in her belly. OMG! When did I become such a horn-dog?! But she knew they were both done for the night, and she didn't want their libidos making promises their bodies couldn't keep. She broke away from him. "As much as I like the idea of staying here all night, we should probably go."

"Yeah," he agreed.

They got dressed by the dwindling light of the solitary candle, now reduced to a tiny stub in its coloured-glass bowl. When they were ready to go, Xander placed the candle on an out-of-the-way shelf and blew it out. He then took Emma's hand, and used his pocket flashlight to guide them both towards the exit.

"You know, I think you were right about how playing pool here will never be the same now," Emma commented as they stepped down from the rec' area into the dining area. Then she caught sight of the table near the door where they'd had their first 'encounter' of the night. "Nor will eating here ever be the same."

"I know right! How am I going to keep a straight face tomorrow when we show up for breakfast…" Xander checked his watch, "…in less than six hours time?!"

Emma couldn't help but laugh as she looked around the room, imagining all the campers sitting here in a few hours time, nonchalantly eating their meal or playing games, blissfully unaware of what had transpired the previous night.

"But like you said," continued Xander, "It's a fun, sexy secret…"

But Emma was no longer paying attention. She had caught sight of something moving around outside, coming along the side of the cafeteria building! A tall silhouette, bulky and massive, but with a shape that was poorly-defined and difficult to make out clearly. It seemed to be surrounded by a faint, luminous glow, or was perhaps just reflecting the moonlight in strange and unnatural ways. It was shambling and shuffling about just on the other side of the very doors that she and Xander needed to get through to leave!

She grabbed Xander's arm and roughly dragged him down to hide behind the nearest table. "Turn the light off!" she hissed urgently.

"Wha…?!" Xander began, but Emma clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Turn it off! There's something there!"

Xander yanked her hand away impatiently, but turned his flashlight off anyway. "What are you talking about?!"

"Outside! Look!"

They peered over the top of the table from their hiding place, looking towards the glass doors that were the only way in or out of the building. With the interior of the building now in total darkness, the eerie, fluorescent glow originating from outside was more noticeable. As was the outline of some indiscernible thing that swayed and bobbled within the diffuse narrow wooden slats mounted on the glass doors and windows fractured and lengthened the vague shadows, exaggerating the movements and making them seem menacing and altogether inhuman. Over the sudden pounding of her heart, Emma could hear faint snuffles, moans, and incomprehensible mutterings coming from the figure. It reached for the door. There was a scratching noise, then the locked doors rattled violently, and Emma clamped a hand over her own mouth to stop herself screaming. A few seconds later, another rattle, then a frustrated, animalistic growl.

"OMG Xander!" Emma hissed. "It's the Kikiwaka! It's come to kill me! You have to protect me!"

"How do you know it's coming to kill you specifically? Maybe it wants to kill both of us?! Or just me!" Xander's voice was a panicked whisper close to her ear.

"Obviously it's after me because we just had sex! The pretty blonde girl always gets killed just after she has sex! Have you never watched a horror movie?!"

"Firstly, this isn't a horror movie! And secondly, we've been having sex for weeks now out in the woods! The Kikiwaka could have killed us there at any time! Why would it wait until now when it has to break into the cafeteria to get you?! Isn't it much more likely that it's just after food? Murphy's rank five-day-old roadkill can probably be smelt clear across the lake!"

"Five days old?! Murphy assured me that he never served anything more than three days old! Why I oughta'…" Emma shook her head and made a fist in the dark.

As the creature continued to periodically rattle the doors, it's angry mutterings and snorts growing in volume as it's determination to get inside was stymied, Emma realised that Xander's simple, animal logic could not be applied to ferocious and inhuman demon-beasts like the one presently outside. She was beginning to understand the true depraved nature of the monster that had haunted the camp for generations! "No! I'll tell you why it's trying so hard to get in!" She poked Xander somewhere around the arm or shoulder to emphasise her point. "It was obviously prowling around the campsite up to its usual no-good deeds, when it saw us through the windows. It took one look at me, all naked, nubile, tanned and sweaty, getting done doggy-style on the pool table by my fit, hunk of a boyfriend, and was immediately consumed with insatiable lust for me! And now it wants to abduct me and carry me off to its hell-cave lair to make me a sex slave!"

Her shocking, but well-reasoned deduction was met with stony silence. A few moments later, his level, soft-spoken reply made abundantly clear his disbelief. "Are you freakin' kiddin' me, Emma?"

"What?! It could happen…"

"That sounds like something you'd read in a badly-written sci-fi sex story online! But thanks for calling me a fit hunk. I appreciate you throwing me that bone."

"Your welcome. I wanted to give you at least some of the credit for that hot visual."

At that moment, their banter was interrupted by the noise of a key turning in the lock, and a voice exclaiming: "Finally found the right one!" The door opened wide, and the pale light of a hand-held electric lantern was cast into the room, clearly illuminating the person holding it. Framed by the doorway to provide perspective, there was no mistaking the familiar, slouched figure of Gladys, clad in her usual dark, baggy and shapeless old clothes, including her trademark floppy hat. Her eyes were red, and she was sniffling and wiping her eyes and nose, as she slid a ring of rusty old keys back into one of her pockets. "I really should label them," she mumbled to herself in a voice hoarse from crying.

"Look, it was just Gladys all along," Xander whispered to Emma. "You can relax."

"Oh yeah," said Emma, relieved that there really wasn't a bloodthirsty, depraved, hell-spawned monster trying to kill or abduct her after all. "That actually makes much more sense."

A second later, the two turned to look at each other, the dim glow from Gladys' lantern allowing them to see each others wide-eyed expressions of terror as they realised what was happening.

"Gladys!" they both mouthed at the same time, before ducking even further into hiding. Luckily, they had initially chosen the table farthest from the door to take cover behind, and the weak light from Gladys' cheap, low-powered lantern could barely reach their side of the room. They crawled as far beneath the table as they could, praying that the darkness would conceal them.

"Why is Gladys here?!" Emma whispered.

"I don't know!" Xander whispered back.

The question was soon answered, as Gladys went behind the kitchen counter and began to rummage through the refrigerator and cupboards, talking to herself all the while. "God I hate these sleepless nights, when it's just me alone with my depressing thoughts! Why can't I have somebody to snuggle up to?! Is that too much to ask? I see all those teenagers pairing up, holding hands during the day, probably sneaking off during the night to screw their brains out! Happy couples in love everywhere… Blech! Is it too much to ask that I find something like that?! Is it really too late for me?"

Emma started to feel a little sorry for Gladys, who was clearly having a lonely and miserable time - the complete opposite of Emma's camp experience. Emma couldn't see Gladys clearly from where she was hiding, but it sounded like the older woman was preparing a veritable night-time feast, continuing to grumble about campers and love at the same time.

"I hope the Kikiwaka gets them all! Especially the pretty blonde ones who steal all the good men!" Gladys cursed. "Young love won't save them then! Ha!"

Emma gasped softly. "I told you the Kikiwaka was dangerous!" she hissed in Xander's ear. "Especially to me!"

"She's not talking about you! She's just being bitter about your Mom, like usual!"

"Wow. Way to live in the past, Gladys." Emma didn't feel so sorry for her now.

"Screwing around all over the place!" Gladys continued her tirade. "I suppose I could stop them. Patrol the woods at night. Set up bear traps maybe…"

Emma and Xander looked at each other in appalled anger, imagining getting caught in a bear trap as they snuck out to make out, simply for the sake of Gladys' spite.

"But that would mean more sleepless nights," Gladys continued. "And why should I be inconvenienced because of them? At least the cafeteria is free of them at this time of night. They haven't managed yet to find a way to defile this place with their teenage sexuality…"

Emma and Xander looked at each other with pained, guilty expressions on their faces. If she only knew…

"And today was shopping day!" the bitter camp warden crowed. "So I get to eat all of Murphy's fresh food before he can waste it on those brats!"

"Fresh food!" exclaimed Xander in a shocked whisper. "Gladys assured me that Murphy didn't get a budget for fresh food! Gladys has been secretly eating it this whole time! Why I oughta'…" Xander shook his head and made a fist. Emma had to put a restraining hand on his shoulder to stop him leaping up in anger.

"Xander! You can't say anything! If she finds out we're here, we're in big trouble! What do you think she'll do to us if she finds out we 'defiled' her cafeteria, and uncovered her scandalous fresh-food secret?!"

Xander subsided without further complaint, and for the next half-hour the two of them were forced to lay there quietly on the filthy ground, listening to Gladys binge-eat her way through Murphy's stock of fresh food. Occasionally the camp warden would start softly sobbing, or wail out something like "Why am I so alone?!" or "God I hate my life!"

"How much longer is this gonna' go on for?" Emma whispered to Xander in desperation. Gladys was showing no sign of leaving any time soon.

"I don't know," her boyfriend whispered back. "But we've gotta' get out of here before I go insane! I'm seconds away from just giving myself up so I no longer have to listen to her whine and bitch and try to eat away the pain! I have an idea. I found this on the floor!" He proudly held up a stale bread roll with several small bites taken from it.

"Xander, this is no time to be thinking about food!" Emma admonished. "If that's left over from last night's dinner, then it clearly violates the five-second rule! Plus, you know the camp customs - if it lands on the ground, it belongs to the rats and raccoons."

"I'm not going to eat it! I'm going to throw it and try to distract Gladys. Then we make a run for it."

Emma wasn't sure about the merits of the plan, but it was increasingly looking like their only hope of escape. "Okay…" she agreed reluctantly.

"We need to get closer to the door." Xander wriggled out from under the table, and crawled on his belly towards the other side of the room. Emma followed him, chancing a look in Gladys' direction. The older woman was seated on the opposite side of the kitchen counter, in a circle of light from her electric lantern. On the counter-top all around her were opened packets and containers, and half-eaten food items. Pushing down her anger at the realisation Gladys had secretly been eating all the camp's fresh food this whole time, Emma crawled over to where Xander was waiting for her, doing her best to stay out of Gladys' sightline. The two of them creeped towards the door, threading their way around, between, and underneath the tables as necessary, stopping when there was no way they could go any further without being seen.

Xander took some time to line up his throw, testing the weight of the bread roll in his hand, and shifting about to get the right angle. He let the bread roll fly, tossing it in a high, curving arc that took it close to the cafeteria's tall ceiling. It sailed over Gladys' head well above her sightline and off to one side, then dropped down behind her somewhere amongst the kitchen appliances, making a startlingly loud noise. Gladys immediately jumped to her feet and turned around to face the source of the racket. Xander grabbed Emma's hand, and they made a mad dash for the door, all their experience of sneaking past sleeping bunkmates standing them in good stead, as what little noise their feet made was easily covered up by the noise of Gladys aggressively poking a spatula around behind the kitchen appliances.

The last thing Emma heard as she ducked out of the door behind Xander was the camp warden exclaiming: "Damn mice!" Then: "Ooh! Bread roll. Yum!" She and Xander ran as quickly and quietly as they could away from the cafeteria, and didn't stop until they had reached the first trees of the forest that surrounded the campground. There they halted, hands on their knees, as they tried to catch their breath and slow the hammering of their hearts. They looked at each other, and then the nervous laughter started.

"OMG Xander! We just almost totally got busted! By Gladys!"

"I know right! Can you believe that actually just happened?! Holy shit dude! But how cool was that throw?!"

Emma's laughter faltered, and she suddenly smacked Xander hard on the shoulder, as the realisation sunk in of just how close they'd been to getting caught and ending up in serious trouble. Having other campers stumble upon them in a compromising position was one thing - that just resulted in blushes and sniggers and general awkwardness the next day, mitigated by the realisation that all the couples who were sneaking around in the woods were doing so for the same reason. But if the camp warden caught them - then that was a whole new level of seriousness and trouble, and something that could result in an early end to summer camp and some very awkward conversations.

"Oww!" complained Xander. "What was that for?"

"That was for taking me someplace where we almost got caught by Gladys! It never occurred to you she might use her own key to go get a midnight snack?!"

"In my defence, it's way past midnight."

Emma smacked him again for having an inane defence.

"Oww!"

"Listen! I have a bright future ahead of me as a famous and successful fashion designer, and I plan to do the Ross name proud! I cannot afford to have a sex scandal this early in my career!"

Xander went from looking annoyed at being hit, to looking abashed and downcast. "I'm sorry Emma! I really had no idea Gladys would be binge-eating in misery at two A.M. If I'd even suspected anyone would be hanging around that cafeteria, I never would have taken you there! I would never want you to suffer in any way because of me. You're right, I should have thought it through better. I just wanted you to not have to worry about privacy, or poison ivy, or rain, or bears and skunks."

Xander looked absolutely miserable, and Emma's sudden flash of anger evaporated. She began to feel bad for lashing out at him. There really wasn't any way Xander could have predicted the insomniac binge-eating habits of Gladys, short of staking out the cafeteria every single night up 'til now. And he shared just as much of the risk as she did - they'd both probably have an early end to summer camp and awkward parental conversations to face if they got busted. And of course, he'd done the whole thing for her, and it had been a fantastic night right up until the sketchy ending. But then when the emergency struck, he'd come up with a good plan and executed it brilliantly, getting them both out of hot water.

She took hold of his hands. "No I'm sorry," she apologised softly. "That was unfair of me. Of course it wasn't your fault. I know you would never do anything that you thought might cause me trouble. Thanks for trying to please me. But I'll happily take questionable privacy, poison ivy, rain, enraged bears and skunks, and even a murderous lecherous Kikiwaka, if it means I get to spend my nights with you. But let's just stick to the woods from now on."

"Agreed." He smiled then, and she leaned in and kissed him, a slow, sensual kiss full of both appreciation and promise for the future. As they separated, she leaned close to his ear and whispered: "You were amazing tonight. And I'm not just talking about the throw." He pulled back to look at her, a big self-satisfied grin on his face, and she winked at him. They locked eyes, smiling at each other without talking for a long moment, before a faint noise across the other side of the campground drew their attention. They saw two shadows, one slightly smaller than the other, detach themselves from the treeline and head across the camp green, quickly embracing before heading off to different cabins.

Emma winced. "Ooh… Rookie mistake. If Gladys is still hanging around, she might have seen them…"

Xander chuckled. "I don't think Gladys can see anything beyond her own self-pity and loathing."

"You might be right there. Still…"

"But…" Xander chimed in at exactly the same time.

"…We should circle back through the trees," they both finished together, then burst into laughter at saying the same thing.

"Jinx!" they both called out, again almost simultaneously, followed by more laughing.

"C'mon Milady. It's getting late. We should probably head back."

"Okay," replied Emma, stifling a yawn. "But I totally called 'jinx' first."

"Sure you did," said Xander, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well I'm glad we both agree," said Emma, deliberately ignoring his sarcasm.

Hands linked, they began winding their way through the trees, back towards their cabins. It had ended up being a late night, what with all the drama, and Emma would suffer for it tomorrow. But she regretted none of it, because now she had yet another great summer camp memory to add to her collection.

She looked forward to waking up tomorrow and making even more.


A/N: This was my first attempt at writing hetfic, so review and let me know how I did :-) Also feel free to leave any ideas or suggestions you'd like to see for future instalments. Though I make no promises - I can only follow where my sexy little muse Emma Ross chooses to lead me lol ;-)