My Brother, My World, My Life

A/N – Okay I have no idea where this one came from but I was listening to music and this just appeared in my head, have you ever had that feeling that you had to write something or else it was going to burst out of your chest? Well this is what this is, it might be useless but I had to write it, I just had to get it out their. Let me know your thoughts on this random cognition on mine.

I don't know what it is about him, he just has this effect on me, when I am about to fly off the edge, lose my grasp on the situation he stands between me and it, those green eyes flashing with all kinds of emotions and thoughts and I feel everything else around us melt away, it's like he is anchoring me to the planet, without him I would either drift into the abyss or explode in a flash of uncontrollable rage.

It had been like this since we were kids, he has always had this effect, this hold over me and it should scare the living day light out of me but it doesn't because I trust him, not only with my life but with my heart and it has been that way since the moment I let myself accept that he was more than a brother to me, he was my entire world, he was the glue that was holding me together. To the outside I guess I looked to be the more level headed one, the one that was in control but that's only because I have him there by my side, entwining his fingers with mine when I need that physical comfort, it didn't matter if we were in public or not. He was there, sat across the table from me with that unfairly beautiful smile that lit up the entire room as well as the dark and over cast sky. He was there in the small hours of the morning when nothing and no one else was staring, when he whispered in my ear how much he loved me when he thought I was asleep.

He is worth so much more than he knows, he doesn't see everything he has to offer the world and everyone in it but I do, I see it for him and when he does hit a low moment I drag it all out and parade it in front of him, hoping that it will sink in because he needs to know how much the world is a better place with him in it.

The time in our lives that we have spent apart for what ever reason, looking back at it now I know that I was only half the man I can be because he was missing from my side, it was like every day he wasn't there is in black and white in my memory and when I think about the days we reunited, the feelings, the love that is there I am almost blinded my the colours racing into my memories to fill every pour.

They say that you will have one person in your life who is your everything well mine has been their from the day I was born, he has been everything to me and it took our first separation, the four years I was at college to see that for the moment I knew it was him lingering above me in that tiny apartment my heart started beating for two people again.

Dean Winchester has been many things to me over the years, brother, father, teacher, best friend and most recently and importantly lover. Everyday I have spent without him was a fate worse than death. Dean isn't just the most important thing in my life. He is my life.