Disclaimer: they're mine! (yeah, I wish)

Iruka hurriedly slammed the door behind him and let out the breath he had been holding. He leaned back against the door, panting, a slight sheen of sweat covering his skin. He slowly slid down the door, head in hands, shaking all over.

There he sat, until the moonlight from the open window edged its way across the floor and onto his body. He raised his tear-stained face to look past the shadowed room, out to the shining full moon and the jagged silhouette of bare trees.

He sighed, and slowly got to his feet, locking the door behind him, and navigated the way to his room, knowing the path without the need for lights.

He reached his bedroom, and once inside proceeded to undress slowly, pulling off his vest, at the same time gradually letting go of the emotions that usually clothed his mind. He crept into his bed, curling into a ball under the dark quilt, shielding himself, as if hiding from the rest of the world.

Stoplight, lock the door.

Don't look back.

Undress in the dark,

And hide from you,

All of you.

"If I don't come back, you have to find someone else you want…understand?"

Iruka looked at the jounin in disbelief, "Never. I would never want anyone but you. How could you ask me to do that?"

The other smiled gently, wrapping his arms around Iruka, "I just want you to be happy."

Iruka buried his head in his lover's neck, "I'll only be happy with you."

Iruka rolled over to lie on a dry spot of his otherwise tear-soaked pillow, those words running circles in his head, haunting his in a way he had never imagined.

You'll never know the way your words have haunted me.

I can't believe you'd ask these things of me.

You don't know me.

He only wanted one, beautiful pale skin, eyes glittering with laughter…he could still picture him perfectly.

Caring loving and sweet, Iruka was forever his.

You belong to me,

My snow white queen.

There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.

Soon I know you'll see,

You're just like me.

Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you.

His lover staggered towards him as Iruka ran through a haze of fear and pain. He caught the jounin in his arms as he collapsed, slowly lowering the older man to the ground.

He felt waves of fear wash over him, freezing as he looked over his lover's torn clothes, soaked with blood, the missing hitai-ate, and the pained, but loving smile.

"What have you done to yourself?" Iruka asked softly.

"Completed my mission, and then dragged myself home to you," came his quiet reply, "to say goodbye."

By this time, a small group had already gathered behind the shattered chuunin, watching Iruka and his lover, standing back a little, giving some privacy. Sasuke, patiently holding a sobbing Sakura as she clutched at his shoulders, and Naruto, restrained tears glimmering in his eyes.

The broken man lying in Iruka's arms ran his pale, long-fingered hands down Iruka's face, over his lips, then down his neck, onto his chest.

Wake up in a dream.

Frozen fear.

All your hands on me.

I can't scream.

He let his hands drop, and Iruka leaned down to softly kiss the man's lips.

"Iruka."

His voice was fading, weak. Iruka bit back a scream and a flood of tears.

"Yes?"

His lover closed his eyes and sighed, "I love you."

With that, he exhaled one last time. His body went limp in Iruka's arms as Iruka let go of the tears he had been holding.

He pulled his lover closer, cradling his body to his chest as he whispered.

"I love you too."

I can't escape the twister way you think of me.

I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep.

Iruka rolled over, wide awake. He couldn't sleep, not haunted by dreams like this

Iruka…

He flipped onto his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow as he clenched his eyes together.

I love you…

He relaxed and let his tears flow for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

"I love you too, Kakashi."

You belong to me,

My snow white queen.

There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.

Soon I know you'll see,

You're just like me.

Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you.

Iruka sat up again, back against the wall, looking out at the moonlit night. He stared out the window, until he saw something stir out of the corner of his eye.

He turned to face the movement, and froze.

There was Kakashi, standing at the foot of his bed, clothes whole, perfectly pale, not a trace of blood to be seen. His face was bare, and he was smiling sadly at Iruka, who still sat frozen, in shock.

I can't save your life,

Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting.

I'm losing my mind and you just stand there and stare as my world divides.

"I love you," he said suddenly, "I love you so much, but I couldn't save you."

He stood up and walked over to his lover, strangely clam. He reached out to touch him, but Kakashi shook his head, stepping back into shadow.

Iruka followed his, then, when they were almost touching, leaned forwards, "I'll always be yours."

You belong to me,

My snow white queen.

There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.

Soon I know you'll see,

You're just like me.

Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you.

Kakashi smiled, "I love you" he mouthed.

Iruka smiled as Kakashi faded away.

"I'll be with you again." He promised

All I want is you

A/N. There you go, another fic from me, infinitely darker than my last one. As always, reviews are so appreciated, and this time I'll try and find time to reply to anyone who cares to review T.T