Prologue
From the moment I laid eyes on you…..ever since….you were always on my mind.
I remember when I first saw you…it was….God I can't get you out of my head!
I was so overwhelmed by this….this connection I felt toward you…the intensity and ferocity of it scared me, but above all I feared it would scare you…and yet I couldn't help but approach you.
It was like a massive ball of electricity went threw me and every nerve ending in me came alive. I felt so bonded to you…so in tune with you. I wasn't really sure where one of us started and the other ended…I wanted to run to you, but I didn't want to come off as a stalker. I mean, I didn't even know your name! That didn't stop me from wanting you though…and then you walked up to me
Things progressed so fast from that first meeting. In no time at all we were the best of friends….I wanted so much more, but I couldn't, I wouldn't risk losing you should you not feel the same…I needed you, so much, so much so that an eternity without you was too big of a risk for me to take….From that point on though, my love for you began building and building…You started acting differently toward me and I was terrified that you caught on to my less than platonic feelings for you…So I began to withdraw…If I made you feel second best…I am so sorry Jacob.
After that moment, everything began moving so fast. In no time at all we we're best pals…but I wanted more. I was too chicken to tell you though. What if you didn't feel the same for me? Hell, I knew you didn't feel the same for me. What are the chances that a perfect guy like you could…would ever love me? Clumsy, awkward, goofy, little Jacob Black? No matter how pointless my love for you was though… It didn't stop it from growing. I was constantly worried that you would catch on…I was scared shitless….still….I should have….The little things I should have said and done…..I'm so sorry Edward.
Now that our time is running thin….
Now that time's running out….
I see now that despite my fears, I should have held you all those lonely, lonely times.
Even though I was terrified….I was in the wrong… I didn't treat quite as good as I should have.
I could and I should apologize for all eternity, however….
I could and I probably should apologize forever, but…
You must know Jacob that one thing will never change.
You have to know Edward that one thing will always be the same.
I love you.
