Magical Girl Zaka

Chapter One

AN: Hello everyone! This is the first installment of an epic series about love, war and everything in between. You will witness happiness…tragedy…love…friendship...and butterflies in the most epic of ways. The love is heart thumping, the betrayal is heart breaking, and the friendship is heart warming.

But, in case if you couldn't tell, this is simply a joke. Why did I write this? Because the Valkyria Chronicles section really needs to lighten up a bit, I must say. Despite the presence of serious fanfics that I personally adore, like The Destiny of Marcelina Lamterb and Battlefield: Gallia (that first one is sarcasm, but I do find it hilarious; apologies to AnnixEd) I really think that this section needs to loosen up a bit. So, a friend and I invented this. We gradually fleshed it out in a Paint Chat, and now it's ready to go, I guess. So, without further ado, here is the first chapter of Magical Girl Zaka!

NOTE: Whenever there is a ***, it means that there is a change of POV.

The sun shone brightly through white, fluffy clouds in a surprisingly warm March day. The blades of windmills turned, and the bright green grass swayed in the wind. White flowers specked the hills, and they seemed to perfect the peaceful view that you could really only get in one place: Bruhl.

Even though he had been gone for years, to Welkin Gunther, it still felt like home, and was refreshing from the busy streets of Randgriz. It was jarring at first to see so many unfamiliar faces, but there was a war going on, and it was understandable.

I got here early, Welkin thought to himself. Isara won't be coming for about half an hour, so I can probably go see if the fish are migrating upstream right now.

He broke out into a run towards the nearby creek.

***

Alicia Melchiott was on watch duty, and hated it. She'd rather run through the streets of Bruhl and offer bread out to evacuees who needed it for the journey to Randgriz. But it was her fault for joining the Town Watch anyway, and she stood on the lookout for spies, or anyone breaking the law.

"Miss Melchiott!" A fellow Town Watchman called out. "There's a person conducting suspicious activity at the river! Come quick!"

"Right, I'm on it," she replied. Before setting off, she grabbed her rifle and dashed towards the river as fast as her feet could take her.

After she managed to get a good distance towards the creek, she began to move quieter. She had to be stealthy, and that was her middle name.

"Found you," she whispered to herself. Sure enough, she saw the person who the watchman had reported writing in a small pocketbook. Her eyes widened—what if he was a spy?

She dived into a bush, and peered at him from the distance. Alicia observed him for a good five minutes until she realized that she couldn't stay tangled up in a shrub forever. She crawled out carefully, and held her breath. She prayed to the Valkyrur that he wouldn't notice her.

She cocked her rifle at his head. "Freeze. Put your hands in the air…slowly."

He turned around slowly, with his hands up nonetheless. That's when Alicia noticed something extremely wrong about him.

"Your pants are...are…on the ground." She shuddered, eying them with disgust.

"What?" The suspicious person replied. "I was just sketching some fish, and I'm wearing a belt. Although, if you want to see me without any pants, we could have some fun. "

"Not anymore. Do you think you're cool, huh? For walking around town with your pants down low? It's unforgivable. And that was just plain wrong, I do not want to 'have some fun' with you right now. We're in the middle of a war here!" She rolled her eyes at him. "You're coming with me. Get up." Alicia grabbed his arm and hoisted him up.

"W-wait, I was just drawing some fish! They usually come around this time of year!" He pleaded. "P-please let me go!"

"Fish or not, look at your pants!" Alicia retorted. She scoffed and turned her head away from him. She began to drag him up to town.

"I'll pull them up, I swear! Just let go of my arm!" He pleaded.

Alicia glared at him. "Fine," she said, without making any eye contact. "But you had better not escape, is that clear?"

She glanced at him as he readjusted his trousers. "Hey…What's your name?" Alicia inquired.

"Oh, Welkin, what did you get yourself into this time?" A voice called out from ahead of Alicia and her prisoner.

Alicia darted around, and noticed a girl dashing towards them. "Oh! I know you! You live a little ways outside of town, right?"

She ran a pale hand through her dark blue hair. "Yes, this is my brother, Welkin. I'm Isara. We were going to evacuate but that might be a bit challenging at the moment." She giggled.

"I see. Um, I'll let your brother…go now. Do you want any help?" Alicia looked away and coughed in embarrassment. Now that she thought about it, he did look familiar.

"Oh no, we should be fine. I like your headscarf, by the way." Isara pointed towards Alicia's trademark red bandana.

"Oh, thanks. Have a nice day!" She called out to them as they began to leave.

That is, they would have begun to leave if the loud sounds of gunfire hadn't started.

"Stay low behind this hill for cover," Alicia hissed. She noticed people firing shots up the hill, trying to fend off enemies from their hometown. She quickly grabbed a combat rifle from one of the deceased watchmen. "Welkin, are you good with a gun?"

"You bet I am!" Welkin exclaimed as he began to unzip his pants.

"Not…that kind of gun," Alicia sighed. She shoved the rifle in his face and crept up the hill. "Isara, you'd better run. Welkin and I will be fine here."

"Oh, okay, I get it." Isara headed towards her residence.

"Are you ready, Welkin?" Alicia whispered to him.

"Y-yeah," Welkin stammered.

Alicia sensed his nervousness, and smirked at him. "Don't worry, I have a trump card."

"Trump card?" Welkin clocked an eyebrow in interest.

"Magical Girl Zaka."

AN: Yes, I understand that Welkin would never make a dirty reference. I'll tell you right now those out-of-character characters should be expected from here on out, because after all, in this fanfics, being serious is frowned upon. I also know that it's not very random and/or funny, but that will hopefully improve in time.

Please R/R to tell me how I can make this better/funnier/random. Ideas would also be appreciated, and perverted comebacks for Welkin would work too.