Just once
Spike POV
Just once I want her to admit that she feels something for, that she does love me. Just once I want her to realize that I am the man who would love her forever. Who would follow her to the ends of the earth, who would never leave her. Just once I want her to look at me and see more than the demon, the undead thing that she was trained to hate. I want her to see the man who is battling the demon, battling it for her. The soul I fought for isn't enough. The unbearable guilt and anguish I feel is nothing compared to the knowledge that she will never love me, never love the man for the monster. She wont' ever let me be what she deserves, what I can be with her.
Buffy POV
Just once I want him to see how hard it is for me to not love him. I cant love him. I am not supposed to. He is a monster. A demon without a soul. But that was before. Before he left to fight for his soul and won. But that doesn't matter. I loved him without the soul but I can never tell him that. I am the slayer. I can't love the monster that I was made to kill. Just once I wish he could see how much I do love him, the man and the demon. Souled or not. I know he is in pain because of me, because of loving me. I wish I wouldn't love what I am suppose to hate. I wish I had fallen in love with the man and the monster. I wish the gang, the whole world would let me love the man I choose. He is everything I deserve and more.
