A/N: Hi folks! So I'm currently working on my broken laptop *sobs* turns out nail polish remover and keyboards don't mix too well. However, Dell's are the bomb and I managed to watch the episode... and OH MY GOSH! I think I'm still in shock and will need to watch it again later today because holy mother... that was incredible. Seeing Lindsay tonight has literally ticked all of my want boxes (apart from seeing Lucy, but I'll be patient.) I cannot believe we got those scenes. They were... out of this world. Seriously. Like, I just can't even.
Huge thank to everyone who contributed thoughts to last episode's post ep. Your appreciation really warms my heart guys, and I do have so much appreciation back at you. You make writing these so much fun. Seriously. So huge thanks to: Megan, webdlfan, alexindigo, foxPhile, dannylindsayfan, CTI-Jenn, MesserFamilyFan100, jennifer32485, RandomTVFan30, ioanhoratio, gigglesforCSI, rhymenocerous, brendanakai, 18lzytwner, and Daisy1966!
After offering Mac a brief farewell, Danny Messer hightailed it all the way home.
Although he'd received a fair and well deserved break in the case, he couldn't believe his luck. Where had that come from? How was it even possible that Cooper had taken such a one-eighty approach on her story? What had changed her mind? And most importantly, why had she changed her mind?
He wasn't sure of the why's and what's, but what he did know was that he'd definitely gained a valuable lesson from it all. The only person in the world he could lean on was his wife. Sure he had other people like Mac and Don... but when it came down to it, Lindsay was the one that stayed up all night reading everything she could to ensure that they were in the best possible position to deal with everything. Not him, but they.
When he'd asked her why she was doing it she had looked up from her laptop quickly and simply smiled, quoting their wedding vows to him; for better, for worse. And to Danny, that had said everything. She believed his word, she trusted him and still very much loved him, despite everything that was being said about him.
She wasn't threatened by the accusations against him that he was having affair, despite the fact that he could have very well been cheating on her. Between his past record and the highly suspicious evidence against him, he didn't exactly have a lot going for his pleas of innocence. He didn't go home after shift, he paid for their drinks in bars, he'd gotten involved in an altercation over someone making advances towards Cooper... but rather than instantly believe the people that had the most to say about Danny; she blocked them out and trusted him; trusted in the love that he had for her, and trusted in their marriage.
He knew that it must have taken a lot for her to cast aside her obvious insecurities, because if the tables were turned and someone had claimed that she was having an affair, he'd have some fear that maybe he hadn't been enough for her and she'd gone elsewhere for love. He had known it was hard on her, him not being home a lot... but he'd never even thought that someone else could have seen it as him being unfaithful.
Not Lindsay though; he'd geared himself up for a tearful wife when he walked through the doors late two nights ago; expecting desperate demands to know whether it was true – had he been unfaithful to her? But the scene that had played out was something entirely different to what he had envisioned. She had fallen asleep on the couch, but was lost in her favourite sweatshirt of his and was wearing a small smile on her soft lips. He'd known that she had been exhausted from the previous night of research that he could only wonder how long she'd been asleep for. He'd woken her carefully, by his usual way of softly prodding her nose and despite all the stress he was under, he found himself smiling when her nose wiggled and scrunched up like it usually did.
As soon as she was aware of her surroundings, she'd sought out his lips and pressed a delicate kiss to them, before whispering. "I know, I believe you and it's okay."
That had been all he needed to break down on his knees right in front of her.
He wasn't sure whether it was the belief she had in him, the sound of her voice, or the outlet she'd unknowingly given to him... but her words had overwhelmed him. He'd tried to stay calm throughout the investigation, but when it came down to it, he just wasn't strong enough. Flack probably wouldn't have cried, neither would have Sheldon... but he, he just clearly wasn't man enough to deal with his emotions internally.
After swiping away his tears, she pulled him onto the couch and pulled him into her side, running her fingers through his hair, much like she did with Lucy whenever their little girl was upset.
He'd taken that time to just soak in everything that she offered him. Her love, her trust, her admiration for what he was doing... her sorrow for what he was having to go through and her determination to make sure that they got through to the other side of this in one piece.
He had kept muttering that 'it wasn't fair' and while it wasn't fair, there was nothing he could do about it. And the most proactive moment was most definitely not lying on the couch crying about it. So he was being tested a little? It was nothing he couldn't handle; especially with Lindsay holding his hand.
The days following had been just as difficult but after his emotional outlet, he'd managed to keep a better lid on things. Yes it was killing him on the inside, but with the confident knowledge that he'd done absolutely nothing wrong; eventually things would be okay. He wasn't sure when, or what the catalyst would be, but eventually the truth would prevail.
He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.
Finding himself in the elevator of his building, he was surprised with the way in which he'd lost a significant amount of time just thinking. He'd somehow managed to navigate his way home from the IAB office, without even thinking about his route.
He quickly made his way to their front door and jammed his key into the lock eagerly; desperate to get inside to tell Lindsay everything. He listened carefully and was slightly disheartened at the lack of little footsteps sprinting to the door, but judging by the time of day, his daughter would be finishing up her nap. And while usually, he'd have to fight the overwhelming urge to wake her up, he silently thanked the Gods for the short period of time that he'd been granted to share an adult conversation with his wife.
"Danny?"
"Yeah baby, it's me... I'm home!" he called out to her.
"How did it go?" her voice carried through the apartment. "I called but you didn't answer, is everything okay?"
Following her voice to the kitchen, Danny took a moment to soak in her presence as she stood with her back to him. Although she was still in her work attire from earlier in the day, he couldn't help but think she looked absolutely beautiful. She had ridiculously tatty slippers on; which told him that she was cold. She also had a thicker cardigan on than what she usually wore for work; which told him that she was looking for a little bit of extra comfort.
She quickly casted a glance over her shoulder and smiled encouragingly at him before placing her knife down on the chopping board. "Baby, how did it go?"
"You look beautiful." He whispered to her, making her cock her head to the side in confusion.
"I look what?"
"Beautiful." He said folding his arms over his chest. "And I want you to know that I love you."
"Danny, you're scaring me." She whispered, her eyes trying to read him. "What happened?"
Danny bit his lip and fought the smile on his lips.
"Please God tell me that they've dropped the case." She interrupted, her hopeful eyes now desperately searching for an answer.
"Cooper told them everything; she told 'em Linds. No charges have been made... against me at least."
Lindsay dropped the dishcloth she'd been holding and without a second's hesitation she crossed the kitchen in a sprint and launched herself into his waiting arms. She wrapped her legs around his torso and peppered his face with a string of relieved kisses.
"There's more..." he trailed off, fighting back the smile on his face.
"They deemed it a clean shot?" Although she disliked Cooper intensely now, she couldn't help but hope that things could go back to normal for her family.
"Nope, no Cooper's been stripped of her badge and piece and they've tossed her to the street."
"What!" Lindsay implored. "Why?"
"She lied Lindsay, she lied about everything. She eventually told them the truth and it was just too late."
Instead of bursting her husband's bubble by telling him that she'd already known that; she stroked his cheek softly while he rocked her gently from side to side as he held her in the air. "What's your other news then?"
"I..." He took a deep breath as he prepared himself for the news he was about to share with his wife. "I'm coming back to the lab."
The paths Lindsay had been making in his hair with her fingers stopped. Her breath hitched in her throat. Tears rushed to her eyes and she felt slightly dizzy. "What did you just say?"
"I can't do it anymore." He whispered as he turned and placed her on their breakfast bar, standing in between her legs. "I can't be away from you anymore."
"But Danny, this is your career-"
"So?" he implored. "It's not as if I was a street vendor before, Linds. I was a detective. That's still a pretty good job. Some people are meant to be leaders, and others are meant to be team players. I can't be a leader and a team player, it's gotta be one or the other, and I've realised I'm better as a team player. I tried it, I gave it my best shot, but you know what? I'm willing to take the hit to my ego if that means I get to see your beautiful face all day again."
"Danny, I need you to think about this first though, you've worked so hard to get this and you can't just-"
"I've thought about it Linds, I've thought about it a lot. This is what I need. Why do I feel it's necessary to work myself to the bone in a job that okay, I sort of enjoy it but... I could take it or leave it?"
"That's a lie." Lindsay scolded him. "You love your job."
"Not as much as I love you." He whispered. "Sure I like being the boss, but I love being your husband more; and I think that's where I've been going wrong. I let other things cloud my judgements, feelings and priorities. When I look back over it all, you know what I remember?"
"How brilliant you are at what you do?" she implored.
"Nope." He shook his head. "I remember you tellin' me that everythin's gonna be okay. That things will fall into place and we'll find our footing and make this whole not seeing each other thing better. And it occurred to me that you shouldn't have to be sayin' shit like that. Me workin' at the lab wasn't broken, so why did I try and fix it?"
"Because you wanted to give yourself a chance at trying something new?" She offered. "You wanted to achieve and apply yourself? Challenge yourself?"
"That's not good enough." Danny shook his head. "I put myself first and I didn't consider the two most important things in my life; my two girls."
"You were doing it for us though," she reminded him softly. "and I've told you a thousand times... we love you for doing it for us."
"How can you show me that though if I'm never here?" he pointed out.
"You know that we love you."
"Not the point." He shrugged off her words. "You girls deserve more from me. Money can't replace the love that I can give you two by being here and I was naive for thinking otherwise."
"So you're definitely coming back to the lab then?"
"Well, it hasn't been set in stone yet," he said, "however, Mac said that I didn't have to re-interview for my job, so that's a stress off my mind." He smirked playfully.
Lindsay giggled at the upbeat attitude of her husband. "So how long do you think it's gonna take to get everything moving?"
"Mac said he thought about two weeks; I'm not sure of the logistics just yet. We'll have to wait and see about it all. But the good news is, I get the next three days off to enjoy my girls."
"Why?"
"Paperwork needs to process... if I'm completely honest, I think I need a friggin' break."
Lindsay giggled. "So everything's done? You're coming back?"
"Yep." Danny nodded. "Back where I belong."
"Are you going to miss it?" Lindsay asked in a quiet voice.
"Nah," Danny shook his head. "Well, I'll miss some aspects. Will I miss the responsibilities and respect? Yeah. Will I miss the paycheck? Hell yeah... but that's really not a lot. Especially when I compare it to everything that I missed about the lab."
"You have to think though Danny, you were at the lab for ten years. You've been a Sergeant for ten minutes. You were obviously going to be more passionate about the lab."
"But I didn't have that same feelin' Linds. I didn't have the drive and motivation like I always used to at the lab, even from the very beginning I knew that I was in the right place. Now? I don't feel that and I miss it."
"I just... I'm devastated that this happened. All you wanted to do was to bond with them, and look at what happened."
"Yeah but baby, everything happens for a reason. There was a reason that this happened. I don't know why, or how right now, but I'll just ask those questions later. All I need to know right now, is that in two weeks, I'm going to be processing some bloody t-shirt next to my best friend." He dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Listen, can I... can we just move to the living room for a second?"
She nodded and held out her hand as a hint for him to help her down from the breakfast bar. His hands instantly went to her hips as he placed her on their hardwood floor. He then took her outstretched hand as he led her to their living room and sat on the couch.
He simply looked at her for a few moments before taking a deep breath and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "I want you to know, seriously, how much I appreciate everything that you've done for me, Lindsay." He began with a tone to his voice she hadn't heard in a very long time. "I want you to understand that without you, I don't know where I would be right now..."
"Well for starters, you'd probably still have a gaping hole in your head and bleeding all over the place."
"Probably," he chuckled. "but seriously, the hours you've put into this for me... they haven't gone unnoticed or unappreciated and I want you to be aware of that."
"I know," she shrugged nonchalantly. "You don't think you'd do the absolute same for me? Danny, you saw what I was like, I was going insane trying to find ways to help."
"I know, and you just... you're amazing Linds. Adam called to tell me sorry because he'd been gnawing your ear off about the case and you were trying so hard not to get involved. It wasn't fair that my stupid actions and those backstabbers were affecting you at work, and I'm sorry."
"Danny, I don't even care." She assured him. "In fact, I think I couldn't care less over it. The fact that things are okay, and that there's going to be no court case, no criminal charges; that's all that matters to me. That's all I was doing it for – I love you and I couldn't bear to just sit there and watch. I had to take one for the team."
"Which leads me nicely onto my second point; I have a question to ask you and I want you to be honest with me."
"Okay." She nodded.
"Did you pay Lauren a visit?"
Lindsay's heart sunk as she searched for an answer. She had to somehow justify her actions and while it wouldn't be pretty, he deserved the truth. "I wanted to see whether she was lying. I thought that if she saw me and spoke to me, and saw how this was affecting your family then-"
He cut her off with a kiss. Although she was confused at first and held back slightly, she soon found herself melting into his advances; happily letting him shift their positions so that they were laying on their couch together, limbs entangled.
Clearly going to see Lauren had been a good move. Maybe? She'd felt like she was sneaking around behind his back when she'd gone to find Lauren and basically give her a piece of her mind. She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but knew she had to stand up for her man somehow. She'd stood by in the past and just let him float in an abyss, not knowing how to help himself... but not this time. As soon as he had text her telling her that he was okay but something had happened, she knew exactly what she had to do. He needed someone to keep him supported and she was going to be that pillar of support.
And quite honestly, she had needed a good verbal bashing directed towards Lauren Cooper.
With Danny's wandering lips paired with Lindsay's wandering hands; they soon found themselves half undressed and chests panting as they stared at one another; unsure of how they'd gotten this far, but uncaring and unwilling to stop.
As items of clothing were flung backwards haphazardly, Danny Messer realised that everything he needed was right there in front of him and was ready and willing to give everything she had to him, despite the hell they'd faced over the past week. Her trust in him had never faltered. Her love for him had never been out of sight, and her support was astonishing.
Through soft caresses and kisses, he tried to convey his emotions through acts of physical affections; but even then he knew that he wasn't quite able to tell her just how much she meant to him. The sacrifices she had made over the past few months, and especially over the past week was beyond anything he could fathom. She had effectively lost her husband and had become a single parent, despite her protests otherwise. But all of that was going to change now.
Although he'd known it before, the storm that they'd just weathered together had effectively cemented his certainty that he was one hell of a lucky guy, because Lindsay Messer was one hell of a wife.
There we have it! I hope this one didn't disappoint. I was going to go a little more into M territory, but well - Fred thought otherwise, so you can all blame him because I get the sneaky feeling he's holding out on you guys :p
Anyway, hope you liked this one and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, the episode... or just life in general. ;)
Thanks for reading, guys :)
