Pairing: Fuji/Tezuka
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Slash. The extent of it is kissing.
Summary: Fuji, on an impulse, lets Tezuka know his feelings for him, and tries to figure out if Tezuka feels the same.
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis, nor any of the characters contained within the series. I am simply taking the characters to provide entertainment for my friends and myself– no profit is being made from this piece.
Retreat and Retrieve
Fuji frowned slightly as Tezuka, in his usual manner, paced away from him quickly, almost as if he was marching to the steady beating of a fast-paced drum. His feet passed each other, left and right and left and right; synchronizing to create a beat Fuji could almost dance to.
Dancing to the beat, however, wasn't what Fuji wanted. Truth be told, it was with the beat that he wanted to be dancing. Regardless of the many things that kept them apart – things such as gender and preference; things like dignity and pride – Fuji couldn't help but admit he had more than a slight crush on the captain of the tennis team.
He shifted his weight so that he was leaning on his left foot and crossed his arms over his chest. Tezuka, alone, walked into the locker rooms. Closing his eyes pensively, Fuji contemplated possible actions he could take. The lockers were empty – he and Tezuka had come for a private game today, a Saturday. Tezuka, per usual, beat Fuji and couldn't be bothered to hang around discussing any weak or strong points in Fuji's play. This is how it always happened.
Play the game. Lose. Watch Tezuka retreat.
Next came Fuji's choice to follow or pretend to wait behind doing something, wanting to avoid the sometimes-awkward silence that ensued. Although he was quite the sadist, Fuji was by no means a masochist. He himself did not enjoy squirming.
Today he chose to follow.
Relaxing the muscles in his arms, Fuji allowed them to fall to his side as he sauntered in after the taller boy. Slowly, delicately, he pushed open the door and saw Tezuka half naked, reaching into his bag for his clothes. Fuji was in no way shocked by the site in front of him. Many-a-times had he seen Tezuka nearly naked, having been best friends with him for years, as well as on the same sports team. However, he still found it difficult to subdue the twinge of longing that rooted in his gut every time he saw Tezuka, naked or not.
Tezuka looked up as the door opened and nodded to acknowledge Fuji's presence. Fuji maintained his calm façade as he approached his own bag, reaching for the zipper.
"Is something the matter, Fuji?"
He turned his head to look at Tezuka who was standing in front of him with his shirt off and in his hand.
Fuji stood up tall, or as tall as he could, and smiled. "Why do you ask?" he responded simply.
"You didn't play well today."
His expression faltered slightly, but Tezuka didn't notice the slip. "Nothing is wrong, Tezuka," came Fuji's reply and he turned back around to reach for his bag again, but he stopped in mid-action as a firm hand placed itself on Fuji's shoulder.
"You're lying to me," Tezuka stated while pulling on Fuji's shoulder, making him face him. "You have not been acting as yourself lately." Fuji pulled a hand up to his chest. "I'm not the only one who has noticed."
Fuji became flustered by the sudden show of interest from Tezuka, but quickly regained his composure and complacent smile. "You want to know what's wrong?" he asked, a grin spreading across his lips. Tezuka gave a curt nod.
With the hand he had withdrawn to his chest, he reached out and pulled Tezuka's face closer to his own. "Here's a hint," he said lightly. Tezuka, in shock, had no chance to resist Fuji before he pulled him into a kiss – a deep kiss during which Fuji forced open Tezuka's lips with his tongue. Tezuka's eyes widened and he retracted his hand from Fuji's shoulder as Fuji tried to pull him closer, not happy with the space that existed between the two.
Not knowing what else to do, Tezuka pushed the smaller boy off of him, knocking him down over the bench that his bag rested on. Fuji found it hard to catch himself as he went down and hit his head on a locker behind him. That was not the reaction Fuji had expected, let alone the one he had hoped for. He frowned, reaching a hand to rub the fresh bump on the back of his head.
"I…" Tezuka started, a perplexed expression placing itself quite conspicuously on his face. "I'm sorry." He extended a hand to help Fuji up.
Fuji helped himself up, completely ignoring Tezuka's extended hand. He looked at Tezuka sharply, picked up his bag, and left in his tennis clothes.
He stormed off the school grounds and ran home once he was sure Tezuka was no longer watching him. He went directly into his room and threw his bag down onto his bed.
Tezuka only showed up for the first twenty minutes of practice on Monday after a weekend of silence with Fuji. After ensuring that everyone was doing their thing properly, Fuji watched as Tezuka walked away into the school building. Frowning, he continued his usual warm-ups, as instructed by Inui.
"I wonder what's wrong with Tezuka." Fuji turned to his left and saw Eiji, also watching Tezuka retreat. His hands were on his hips and he had a slight pout as he said, "I talked to him yesterday, and he seemed all distant and un-Tezuka-ish, nya…"
"Did he?" Fuji asked, slightly surprised.
"Yeah," Eiji nodded. "Me 'n' Oishi think he likes a girrrrl," the boy teased, smiling, clearly clueless as to the events of the day prior. This made Fuji smile and his stomach lightened only slightly. He almost had to suppress a giggle, suddenly quite proud of a kiss that, until this moment, he was regretting dearly.
"You think he likes a girl?" he repeated. "Why do you believe that?"
Eiji shrugged. "Seems like that kind of dreaming to me!" he explained, and Fuji's smile spread into a grin. They both continued the rest of their warm-ups as Inui approached them with a water bottle in hand, waving it menacingly with a wicked smirk on his face.
A girl, huh? Fuji thought as he finished his sit-ups. I'll have to clear that up with him later.
Tezuka dropped his pen and glanced out the window of the library. A few brown and orange leaves fell from a tree as the wind blew, fluttering to the ground below. Keeping his mind on his work proved to be a challenge, and the foliage, in his mind, was a welcome distraction to any other thoughts formulating, as well as the work itself. Sighing quietly, he decided to pack up his belongings and head home. Attempting to focus was quite evidently futile, and he saw no point in continuing.
He stood up and carefully tossed his pen into his bag along with a few papers and checked out two books that related to his homework. Maybe home would prove better for focusing. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he pushed open the glass doors and stepped-
"Boo!"
Tezuka jumped and his head snapped to the left.
Fuji smiled quite playfully at Tezuka's reaction, satisfied that his prey was exactly where he wanted it.
Tezuka adjusted his bag on his shoulder as he turned his body to face Fuji.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked. Tezuka shrugged and began walking away. Fuji followed. They walked in silence, and Fuji memorized the tapping and swooshing of air between Tezuka's feet. He played with them, noticing that if he leaned to the right of the sidewalk, Tezuka would ever so slightly follow. He really decided to test this when he realized that Fuji was walking home; Fuji decided to take a wrong turn, and to see if Tezuka was paying enough attention to stray the path with him. Slowly, Fuji pushed himself onto the left of the sidewalk, and Tezuka subconsciously followed, his mind clearly on more than his walk home. Fuji finished the turn off course, and unknowingly, Tezuka replicated Fuji's actions.
Fuji had no real plan in mind; leading Tezuka away from his home served no purpose in what he wanted to do. He realized, however, as he spotted an abandoned bench that it was probably better to have gone this way. He stopped in front of Tezuka who bumped into Fuji, not expecting the halt in his brusque pace.
"Why don't we sit?" Fuji suggested. Tezuka, with an expression barely readable by Fuji, sat. Fuji sat next to him and fiddled with the sleeves of his fall jacket, pulling on the edges of them to make them longer around his hands.
"I need to talk to you." Tezuka nodded, signifying Fuji to go on. He looked at Fuji's face, his own stern. "It's about the other day…"
For the first time, Tezuka watched Fuji at a loss for words, scrambling in his mind to grasp the right ones to lay out on the table in front of him, hoping to put them in some sort of order that was coherent to both of them.
"I apologize for behaving as I did," he finally decided on. The muscles in his cheeks relaxed. "But I think it's finally about time that I tell you how I feel." Tezuka nodded again to show that he was listening, and Fuji pressed on.
"For quite some time now, I've been… feeling for you… And, well, you surprised me the other day." Surprising Tezuka now, Fuji lowered his chin in shame of his previous actions. "I had no intention of doing that to you."
Unsure of what to say exactly, Tezuka remained silent. "The truth is," Fuji started, but paused. He lifted his chin now with a sense of indignity, nearly as though he was trying quite hard to prove to himself that he could say what he wanted to say. Never before had Tezuka seen Fuji quite so determined as a result of his own self-doubt. He looked into Tezuka's eyes hard. "The truth is, Tezuka, that I'm in love with you."
For one that knew a line of that sort that was coming, Tezuka was still quite taken aback as it left the much smaller, frailer boy's mouth. At a loss for words, all Tezuka could get out of his balled-up throat was, "For how long, now?" knowing as soon as he asked it what a stupid and irrelevant question it was, and he mentally slapped himself for it.
To Tezuka's relief, Fuji laughed – a rather dry and forced laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.
"Well, for as long as I've known you, of course." A fake smile played on his lips to accompany his false laughter. "As for how long I've been aware of it…. Well, that's a matter of weeks."
Tezuka caught himself before saying something along the lines of, "Well, that explains your behavior," not wanting to sound selfish, or to offend or make light of Fuji.
"It's kind of hard," started Fuji again, trying to hold onto his fake smile with all his might, "telling oneself that if you just keep going, keep ignoring it, that it'll go away, because it's not right. And even though one knows it's not right, his mind keeps going, not of his volition, pushing into areas that ought not be pushed into." The smile wavered. "But for some reason, his mind keeps telling him that there may be hope in this situation, if he just pushes himself. Try as he might, he can't. And then when he does…" He looked away, no longer able to face Tezuka, finding for once that the truth is hard to tell. "Well, you know the rest."
Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Tezuka looked at Fuji, carefully observing him, hoping to find some sign to read. A few orange and yellow leaves fell around them, and they complemented Fuji's hair quite nicely. He seemed to almost glow during the fall, when everything was dead. He glowed now, as a matter of fact, despite his current expression. With his left hand, Tezuka reached for Fuji's chin, lifting it so that they were facing each other.
He leaned forward, and he pressed his lips against Fuji's. Shocked at first, but eventually pleased, Fuji deepened the kiss by putting his hands behind Tezuka's head. Tezuka did not fight – in fact, it was quite the opposite. Tezuka, himself, pulled Fuji closer, enjoying the touch of the other boy.
"Oishi, Oishi, nya!"
Tezuka leaped up immediately, instinctively reaching his hand up to his mouth, wiping it.
"Looks like it wasn't a girl after all!" Eiji teased quite giddily, pointing at Fuji sitting on the bench who was blushing slightly, hands folded in his lap, but with a very satisfied expression on his face.
Tezuka straightened his glasses and attempted to stand in a dignified manner, but fooled no one. Standing behind Eiji, Oishi covered a snigger that was escaping his lips with his hand. "I'm afraid you were wrong, Eiji," he nodded.
"What's so humorous?" Tezuka asked, glaring at Eiji.
"Nothing!" sang Eiji, grinning madly. "We're just on our merry way. C'mon, Oishi!" Eiji flung himself onto Oishi's arm and they walked away, both laughing. Eiji looked over his shoulder and winked at Fuji, who gave him a nod of acknowledgement in return.
Tezuka, much to Fuji's great amusement, gave him a somewhat awkward, but well-intended, hug, before they bid farewells and Tezuka left for home.
The next day in school, and all throughout the week, Fuji gave Tezuka the most seductive looks he could without being crude, and Tezuka constantly avoided his eyes as a result. Tezuka always found it difficult to be himself around Fuji, who constantly made him feel uncomfortable when they were alone by blowing in his ear (a feat Tezuka commended him for rather than reprimanding, however, because of the incredible height difference between the two).
Eiji and Oishi being the only two that knew of what was going on between Tezuka and Fuji were also the only ones to really notice a change in their behavior towards each other, and they ganged up with Fuji to pick on Tezuka. When he wasn't around of course, as suggested by Eiji ("I don't wanna run that much! It's both boring and tiring!"). They had their fun throughout the week, but this began to bore Fuji.
On Friday after school, he found himself walking towards Ryuzaki's office, knowing that Tezuka was there. Fuji decided to be serious, and to confront Tezuka when no one else could be watching them, but at the same time, in a monitored location. He also wanted to be sure he didn't do things the… wrong way.
"You can stay in here until you've finished up the papers," Fuji heard Ryuzaki's brash voice call from the doorway, "but remember to lock up when you're done."
How very, almost peculiarly convenient, Fuji realized as he watched her walk away. He was planning to ask Ryuzaki for a moment with Tezuka, please, but having her gone as a determined factor was… a result of his terrible karma?
Fuji smiled, horribly amused by the whole situation. He sauntered over to the open doorway.
"She's entrusted you with her office," Fuji said softly, leaning his right shoulder against the frame of the door. "Should she have?"
Tezuka looked up and raised an eyebrow as Fuji lifted his weight again and sauntered over to the desk Tezuka was sitting at. He leaned forward and placed a hand on top of the other boy's papers. Tezuka leaned back in his chair.
"She entrusted me under the impression that I would work. Not play." Fuji laughed, lifting his hand. He walked around the desk to be behind Tezuka's chair and he placed each hand on the corresponding shoulder. He bent down and whispered into Tezuka's ear, "We still need to talk."
Tezuka shivered but remained silent as Fuji placed his right hand on Tezuka's chest. "About things."
"That's enough," Tezuka said sternly, pushing away Fuji's hands. "Right now, I am working. We can talk when I am finished."
Fuji sighed and stood up. "You're working, fair enough, but we still need to talk, Tezuka." He placed his hands on his hips.
Tezuka stood up and faced Fuji. "What is there to talk about still?"
"How do you feel about me?" asked Fuji as bluntly as he could. "Do you feel the same about me?"
Tezuka blushed, but let show no other sign of his discomfort. "I already gave you your answer."
Fuji shook his head. "No. You did not, Tezuka. You told me nothing. You kissed me."
A thick silence filled the air.
"I apologize if it seems as though I'm toying with you," Fuji started, "but that is not my intention." Tezuka did not answer. "I will not have you toy with me."
Quite taken aback by Fuji's serious tone, Tezuka had no choice but to respond, but he had no idea with what. "I…" he started.
"Say what you're thinking."
"I love you."
Silence.
Fuji closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing the words, savoring them. When he opened the again, there were tears in them, and he was smiling. "Thank you," he said lightly, and walked out of the room, leaving Tezuka to finish his work.
Over the course of the next couple of weeks, Fuji continued to give Tezuka as many looks as he could to try and embarrass him. There was a difference in Tezuka's reaction, however. Whenever Fuji would lick his lips or wiggle his eyebrows, instead of blushing and glancing away, Tezuka would smile and shake his head, bemused. This made Fuji's heart flutter, though he'd probably never admit it. He told Eiji about the event in Ryuzaki's office, and Eiji encouraged him with utmost effort to keep things going with Tezuka. Fuji smiled as Eiji went on about his ideals on love, slightly jealous of the naiveté and innocence of the red-haired child of his own age. But he knew that half of Eiji's ignorant and foolish ideals were more than half-right, and each time Eiji spoke to him, his views on Tezuka were renewed.
Fuji loved Tezuka, and Tezuka loved Fuji. Regardless of anything, nothing can take that away. Affairs, family, marriage… First love is first love, no matter how jaded or how naïve you may be. Forever Tezuka belonged to Fuji, and vice versa. They didn't know where they were going, and all Fuji knew was that he was finally happy that he had the person he loved….
And could get away with ever so much more torture.
