Veruca Salt: I want to sing The Twelve Days of Christmas.
Miranda Piker: I'm an unused character. And I'm going to mess you all up because NOBODY USED ME! Waaaah!
Charlie Bucket:I'll start. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a tour of the factory.
Miranda Piker: Do people speak Yiddish in the factory?
Charlie Bucket: Um, no. Why?
Miranda Piker: Number one: don't say "um". Number two: BECAUSE I LIKE YIDDISH!
Augustus Gloop: On ze second day of Christmas, ze true love gave to me two Vonka bars...
Miranda Piker: You're not saying it right. You're supposed to say "On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two Wonka bars..." Say it with me.
Augustus Gloop: On ze..
Miranda Piker: YOU'RE EXPELLED!
Charlie Bucket: Are we in school?
Miranda Piker: Hush, midget!
Veruca Salt: On the third day of Christmas my daddy gave to me three lavender ponies.
Miranda Piker: I GIVE UP!
Augustus-flavored chocolate-coated Gloop: Two Vonka bars.
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory. Didn't you get expelled?
Mike Teevee: On the fourth day of whatever my TV gave to me four days of no commercials
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies
Miranda Piker: Let's just skip Mr. Fat Kid over there.
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.
Violet Beauregarde: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me Five Pieces of Gum
Mike Teevee: I no longer care.
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies.
Augustus Gloop: I don't get ze turn, do I?
Miranda Piker: Nope!
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.
Violet Beauregarde: We did the first five! Woohoo!
Charlie Bucket: We should let Miranda do six as thanks for her editorial advice.
Veruca Salt: Yes I would do that.
Augustus Gloop: I vould not. She never lets me seeng!
Miranda Piker: On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me six hundred dollars
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum
Mike Teevee: You're mumbling.
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies
Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka bars
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.
Charlie Bucket: On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me seven bowls of cabbage water.
Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum
Mike Teevee: Lalalala I can't hear you!
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies I'm getting impatient.
Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka bars
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.
Augustus Gloop: On ze eighth day of Christmas ze true love gave to me eight gallons of pork and chocolate
Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water
Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum
(Mike Teevee gets up to get a Coke.)
Veruca Salt: Three lavender PONIES!
Augustus Goop: Two Vonka bars.
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.
Veruca Salt: On the ninth day of Christmas my daddy gave to me nine trained squirrels
Miranda Piker: YOU JUST RUINED THE ENTIRE SONG!
Augustus: Eez eet just me, or does zat girl have anger management issues. Eight gallons of pork and chocolate.
Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water.
Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars.
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum.
Mike Teevee: You're mumbling again.
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies.
Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka Bars.
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory.
Mike Teevee: On the tenth day of whatever my TV gave to me an actual gun
Veruca Salt: Nine trained squirrels
Augustus Gloop: Eight gallons of pork and chocolate
Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water
Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum
Mike Teevee: Die! Die! Die!
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies
Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka Bars
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory
Violet Beauregarde: On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me eleven shiny trophies
Mike Teevee: Who cares?
Veruca Salt: Nine trained squirrels
Augustus Gloop: Eight gallons of pork and chocolate
Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water
Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum
Mike Teevee: Whatever
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies
Augustus Gloop: Two Vonka Bars
Charlie Bucket: And a tour of the factory
Miranda Piker: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve pages of homework
Violet Beauregarde: Eleven shiny trophies
Mike Teevee: An actual gun
Veruca Salt: Nine trained squirrels.
Augustus Gloop: Eight gallons of pork and chocolate
Charlie Bucket: Seven bowls of cabbage water
Miranda Piker: Six hundred dollars
Violet Beauregarde: Five Pieces of Gum
Mike Teevee: Four days of no commercials
Veruca Salt: Three lavender ponies
Augustus Gloop: Two Wonka Bars
Miranda Piker: He said it right! Yay!
Everyone: And a tour of the factory!
I own absolutely nothing. I don't even own Miranda. Waaaaaah.
I did not make Miranda up; she has a page on the Roald Dahl wikia.
By the way, who noticed my Augustus mistakes? And yes, they were intentional.
Review or else!
