Love is like a dog.
Several times I told that man 'no' to his pointless requests of hot and heated passionate display of affections. Like a dog, he whimpered until the master gave in.
He's a problem in my life, a thing I can't get rid of because I'd be deemed cruel and irrational, and obviously can't put him to sleep because nothing is wrong with him. I'll just have to wait until some poor girl in need of a puppy comes along and picks him up.
Infidelity, I'm sure he's committed. Doesn't take much for a dog to fall in love- senseless is the male brain that works like a canine's. Loyal, sure. Faithful to you at all times? Definitely not.
I must have potty trained this man for months before he finally grasped the concept of putting the toilet seat down after using it (with his constant remark of 'why can't women put it up instead of us doing all the work?') and flushing all unneeded wastes. Luckily his aim wasn't off, or I surly would have circumcised him.
His legs and his arms are too hairy. I've heard him called Bigfoot's cousin by his co workers before. Yes, he's actually licked me. No, he does not have fleas, but he does have a bad case of dandruff. Yes, he fights for the last piece of steak, and no, I do not hate him.
Despite his similarities to a four legged friend, I love this scoundrel and I'd wait forever just to see him grow up into a full fledged dog; worthy of adulthood.
Until then, love's just a bitch on a leash.
