Lily approached the jolting cupboard unsure of what would come out.

Petunia?

A Death Eater?

Voldemort?

All of those things scared her, she thought as she raised her wand at the wardrobe door, releasing her worst fear.

What would it be? Surely nothing she couldn't handle. She held her breath as out came…

…James Potter?

Just as calm and collected as ever, the figure of James Potter swaggered out of the closet and into the classroom. Outside, she knew Remus would be able to see and therefore, able to relay everything he saw to his friends.

But what did this mean?

She wasn't afraid of Potter. He was a good friend of hers now. He may be annoying at times, but this year, he had managed to deflate his head a bit and was more than tolerable now. This also included his friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter. She trusted them.

So why did the boggart choose Potter?

As she was thinking, three more figures stepped out from behind the boggart-James.

Sirius, Remus and Peter.

They stood behind boggart-James and smiled at her.

No.

Not smiling.

Sneering.

The expression on each of their faces was that of complete and utter loathing. Even Remus, with whom she had been good friends with for several years, appeared to have nothing but contempt for her. They all began walking towards her, James in front, rolling up their sleeves. Then she saw it.

Entwining and curling up each of their left forearms, in jet-black ink, was the Dark Mark.

"Well, well, well," boggart-James smirked, taking out his wand, "looks, like we've got ourselves a mudblood, eh boys?"

The other boggart-Marauders laughed, menacingly.

"What are we going to do with you now?" the boggart-Sirius asked in a low, threatening voice, stepping closer.

Lily took an involuntary step back.

Quite frankly, she was terrified.

Being confronted with Death Eater versions of her friends was extremely unnerving. She could see that they hated everything about her.

She gulped.

If the real Remus was watching, what was he thinking? Was he telling the others what he was seeing, or was he too shocked?

Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed her roughly from behind, holding her still. She turned her head and saw that it was boggart-Peter. She tried wriggling out of his arms but both Boggart-Sirius and boggart-Remus stood on either side of her, barring her escape. Boggart-James bent down so that his face was level with hers. The comforting musky, woodsy smell she had begun to associate with him was absent and that unnerved her. His smirk grew as Lily felt herself shrink away in fear.

"Hey," boggart-James said in a soft, soothing voice that only scared her more, "we won't hurt you…" he glanced at the others, "…much."

Abruptly, Lily felt herself being shoved. She tripped and almost fell but she was held steady by a pair of arms that she recognised as James'. Panicking, she tried to shove them off, fearing he was going to hurt her but stopped when she recognised the smell.

James.

He was standing in front of her, putting himself in between the boggart-James and her. She just managed to glimpse his expression which was a look so filled with hatred, the thought the boggart must surely melt into a puddle from the sheer heat of it.

Boggart James looks at real-James for a moment before smiling and shifting into another shape, clearly sensing the change in fears.

Before Lily could blink, the boggart-James was gone. At first, she though it had disappeared altogether, but looking closer, she noticed a figure with red hair, lying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

She looked at James questioningly, (was he scared of a woman sleeping?) but she noticed his face held just as much surprise and confusion as hers. A groan brought her attention back to the boggart. She watched as it slowly began to move, opening its eyes and looking around blearily.

"J-James?" she murmured and her head turned to face them. Her eyes widened at the sight of them and she cried out "James!"

The boggart-Lily got to her feet and ran towards where James stood, but before she cold reach him, she fell to the floor, screaming in agony. It sounded as if someone was sticking her with a red-hot poker. James immediately tensed and rushed over to her.

"Lily!" he yelled but when he was a few feet from her, he seemed to run into an invisible barrier. He ponded his fists again still yelling her name as the boggart-Lily screamed.

"James!" boggart-Lily screeched.

"Lily!" James yelled back, pounding his fists against the barrier to try to get to her.

"James!" Lily turned at the voice and saw Sirius run past her over to James, gripping his shoulders, trying to make him look at him, "James, it's just a boggart! It's not real!"

"I don't care!" James shoved Sirius away and continued trying to beat the barrier down as the boggarts screams filled the room.

"Come on Lily," Remus' voice whispered next to her ear. She turned and saw both Remus and Peter there, faces full of concern, "I think we should go."

Lily nodded as Remus led her out of the room, the screams and shouts being slightly muffled by the door when it closed behind them. In the corridor, the rest of their class began asking them what was going on but they quietened down at Remus' glare. Lily only now noticed she was shaking.

"Remus," she said quietly as they neared the end of the hallway, "thank you, But I think I might need some time alone, if that's okay?"

"Of course Lily," he said, giving her a hug, "you take all the time you need, I'll make an excuse for you in classes if you want. Just remember we're here if you want to talk okay?"

Peter nodded behind him and Lily gave them a small smile and thanked them as she walked off.

She could still hear the shrieks of the boggart-Lily ringing in her ears as she made her way through the castle and the cold glare from the boggart-James still sent shivers down her spine.

Once she was sure she was out of earshot, Lily burst into tears.

She made her way as quickly as she could to find a place she could sit quietly without interruption. The common room was far too open, as was the Great hall and grounds. Classrooms were being used or likely to be used and she needed somewhere she could look out.

Suddenly, the perfect spot came to mind and she made her way towards it.


Boggart-Lily's creams rang through his ears as Sirius made his way through the castle.

When Remus had returned, they had managed to confuse the boggart, mixing Peters fears of flesh-eating slugs with his fear of decapitation. It ended up as half a slug. While he, Remus and Peter where staring, perplexed at the slug, James had run off somewhere. They decided to go looking for him but the bell soon went and he continued by himself.

They had searched through the main parts of the castle during lunch and Remus and Peter had returned to class while Sirius continued looking. He'd managed to look through most of the castle twice in the three hours he'd been looking. Classes would be ending soon and there was still no sign of James or Lily. He'd checked the common room and boys' dormitories. He'd looked for James' cloak and the Map but he'd obviously beaten Sirius to it, as both were gone. James clearly didn't want to be found, and trying to would be more difficult that trying to wash Snape's hair with shampoo.

He snorted at the mental image.

Even with his own knowledge of the castle, it would be easy for James to evade Sirius. It was a large castle after all and James knew all of the same secret rooms and passageways as he did.

Sighing, Sirius rubbed his face and leant on the windowsill. How in Merlin's name was he supposed to find James?

He watched as the sun began to sink, casting deep orange afternoon light over the grounds. He had just finished his third round of the castle and was trying to think of any place that James could possibly be. He'd checked the Quidditch Pitch, the Lake, the outskirts of the forest, Gryffindor Tower, even both boys' and girls' bathrooms earning quite a few screams in the latter.

Pacing, Sirius raked his brain for anywhere he could have forgotten. He began pacing in front of the window and after several turns, he looked out onto the grounds. His eyes fell on the pitch, checked. The greenhouses, checked. The main grounds and lake, check and check.

Then his eyes fell on the tallest tower of Hogwarts. It stood out from the turrets of the main castle, almost threateningly. Right now, it felt like it was teasing him.

How could he have forgotten about the Astronomy Tower?

That was the main place that people went to get privacy. Granted, James had never done that, and usually it was for couples that wanted privacy and a change of scenery rather than random broom cupboards.

Sirius turned and ran as fast as he could towards the other side of the castle.

Puffing and out of breath, he reached the base of the stairs that led to the tower. He climbed as fast as he could, considering the stitch that had formed while running and tried to even out his breathing as best he could. As he got closer, he began taking the steps two at a time and soon found himself at the door to the top of the tower. He opened the door and was briefly disappointed to find that James was not there.

Lily, however, was.

She was sitting on the extreme edge of the tower, her feet dangling over the edge, as she appeared to be deep in though as the sun sunk lower and lower in the late afternoon. It appeared she hadn't heard him come up.

"Lily?" He said, panting slightly.

She jumped slightly and twisted around.

"Sirius?" she asked quietly, "what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you and James," it wasn't a complete lie. He'd been keeping an eye out for her as well, "he ran off and no one's seen him since."

"Oh," she said simply, turning back around.

"Remus said you needed some alone time." Sirius said, walking up behind her. When she didn't reply, he continued, "Do you want to – er – talk?" he asked awkwardly. He was never the best at talking about emotions.

"No," she mumbled, "it's not something you'd be that interested in, Sirius."

"What?" he asked, "Why would you think that? You're my friend, I want to help."

"Your friend?" Lily scoffed, "I hex you nearly every week!"

"Yeah but James likes you," he said, "and he goes on about you so much that Peter and I reckon we know you enough to consider you a friend."

"So I'm not Remus friend?" she asked teasingly.

"Lily," he scoffed, "you two have been friends for ages are you kidding me?"

"No I'm being serious." He could see her smirking at her joke.

Sirius laughed, "That's my joke Lilykins!"

"Lilykins?" Lily asked, turning to Sirius, "what kind of a name is that?"

"An excellent one," he replied very serious, "I am excellent at creating nicknames, if you must know."

"What? Like 'Moony', 'Wormtail', 'Padfoot' and 'Prongs'?" she laughed, "was it also your idea to call yourselves the Marauders?"

"Of course it was!" he said with mock offense, "a stroke of genius it was!"

"I wouldn't call it a stroke of genius," she said, "if it made it so much easier for people to figure out Remus is a werewolf."

Sirius went silent for a moment. Gaping like a fish.

"W-What makes you think Remus is a werewolf?" he asked attempting to sound nonchalant but ended up seeming pained.

"Oh please! I'm not stupid." she said, "His name might as well be Werewolf McWerewolf! His mother gets sick every month, right on the full moon I might add," she gave him a pointed look, "and if it's not his mother, its some other relative whose fallen ill or died. I believe his Aunt Helga has died at least three times now." She added.

"W-Well," Sirius stuttered, "how do you know…she…hasn't?"

Lily simply raised her eyebrows at him.

"He also comes back from his visits looking like death warmed up. All bloodied and bruised and exhausted." She said, and then added, "come to think of it, you three do as well?"

"Bruised and bloodied?" Sirius asked, panicking slightly, "No we don't!"

"No, not bruised and bloodied," she said, allowing Sirius to relax, "I mean you all look dead on you feet after every full moon."

Sirius just shrugged.

"Well," he said, "it's hard to get a good night's sleep knowing what he's going through."

"You're good friends to him." She said, "Remus is very lucky."

"You're not upset?" Sirius asked, tentatively.

"Upset?" she turned to face him, "why on Earth would I be upset?"

"I dunno," Sirius shrugged, "a lot of people don't like werewolves."

"A lot of people don't like muggleborns either," she explained, "Remus is still Remus, werewolf or not."

"He'll be happy to hear that," he said, "How long have you known?"

"Since second year." She said simply.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about what happened in class this morning?" Sirius asked after a beat of silence.

"Are you sure you want to listen to the pathetic ramblings of a scared girl?" Lily mumbled.

"Scared? Yes." Sirius said, "Pathetic? Never! Lily, there's nothing wrong with being scared, it actually shows you care."

Silence.

"So…what are you thinking?" Sirius prompted.

"I think," Lily said, slowly, "I think I'm scared of you."

"Oh," he said quietly, "Did you want me to leave then?"

"No!" Lily said, "no, not scared that you'll hurt me or anything, just that," she paused, trying to find the right words, "you all have the potential to hurt me."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"I mean, the world is pretty dark," she said, "friends are turning on each other, and if something happened to you guys, I wouldn't stand a chance. Physically, the only person I might be able to handle is Peter, but even he's probably stronger than me. Magically, I might have a chance but there still three of you and only one of me. You beat me even on my best day."

"Lily," Sirius said, putting a hand over her shoulders and giving her a squeeze, "nothing is going to happen to us."

"No, I know," she said, leaning against the stonework, looking out over the grounds, "but it still worries me."

"Okay Lily, listen to me," Sirius said, making her turn her head to look at him, "friendships are the most important things in a person's life. You can't choose your family. Merlin knows I know that! But you can choose your friends. If you can't trust your friends, who can you trust? We give them access to secrets that can hurt you and you trust them that they won't use it against you. That's what makes a friend. I know it might be hard for you because of what happened with Snape," she flinched at the memory, "as much as I don't like him, he was your friend, and he hurt you in a way only a friend can. I know it wasn't the word itself that hurt, you've sent James to the infirmary for less, but it was the fact that he was the one to say it. I'm glad you had the sense to end it and the strength to keep it up. I can't say it'll get easier because it won't, but you'll get stronger."

Lily was lost in thought, processing Sirius' words in her head.

It was true that she'd been called a 'mudblood' by plenty of people, mainly Slytherins, and it hadn't hurt nearly as much. When Severus had said it however, it felt as if he had ripped her insides out.

It hurt like hell.

He was right that it had been hard sticking to her promise to herself and ignoring his apologies in the days and weeks that followed. She had only been able to resist caving by reminding herself of how it had felt.

Was she really so afraid of making friends again that it was her worst fear? Had she been subconsciously keeping her distance because of it?

Thinking, Lily realised that everything that she had hated James for had been as a result of Severus. Most of their fights had been because they had gotten into a fight with him. In hindsight, she could admit that Severus had been just as bad at instigating fights as the Marauders. She also remembered that Snape would participate in other activities that were far worse than anything James, Sirius, Remus or Peter would ever do. Their pranks were meant to be funny and cause a laugh, but Severus and his friends were malicious for their own entertainment.

"I suppose you're right," she sighed after a long moment.

"I always am." Sirius smirked at her and she planted a sharp elbow into his ribs, "Ow!"

Silence fell between the pair as the sun sunk lower towards the horizon.


"Have either of you lot seen Lily?"

The voice of Marlene McKinnon pulled James, Peter and Remus from their silent dinner.

Remus and Peter had found James in their dorm after they had gone to drop off their school bags. Apparently, James had been keeping an eye on where Sirius had been and keeping well away from him. After a while, they'd managed to convince him to at least come to dinner, even if he didn't eat anything.

They had sat there in silence in the Great Hall. Peter ate normally, but still sent sideways glances at James who was pushing his food around his plate. Remus was eating slowly, concern evident on his face. Marlene's voice managed to break the tension that surrounded the boys. She watched them expectantly and Remus decided to answer her.

"I haven't seen her, no." he replied, "I haven't seen Sirius either, come to think of it."

"You mean they're both missing?" Marlene asked, a smirk forming on her face as she sat down beside Peter, "They wouldn't happen to be 'lost' in a broom closet or something, would they?"

She waggled her eyebrows but stopped when she saw Remus put a warning hand on James' arm. She noticed James' hand was clenching his fork tightly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, frowning.

"Nothing," Remus told her, "But Sirius knows better than Lily has standards. She and James are just a little," he thought for a word, "upset, after our defence lesson this morning."

"Why?" Marlene asked, "What happened?"

"Boggarts." Remus said simply.

"Oh, I hate those!" she said, "Mine's always a dirty, great, big spider!" she shuddered.

James grunted, still staring at his plate.

"Well, could you let her know I was looking for her?" she asked getting to her feet.

"Sure, Marlene," Remus said.

After she had walked away, Remus turned to the others.

"I wonder where they are," he asked, " I haven't seen hide, nor hair of them all day."

"Why don't we have a look?" Peter suggested, "Where's the map?"

"James?" Remus asked, "Do you still have it?"

"S'in m'bag," he muttered.

Remus picked up and began rifling through James' bag. He finally found it stuffed inside a Transfiguration textbook. He pulled out the worn piece of parchment and unfolded it on the table.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Remus said quietly.

Immediately, lines of ink began drawing themselves all over the parchment. They twisted and wove between each other until they had formed all of Hogwarts castle and grounds. Little footprints made their way across the map, indicating the students, teachers and ghosts of the castle.

Peter and Remus scanned the parchment, James looking over Peter's shoulder seemingly bored.

It took several minutes but eventually, Peter cried out, "there!" and pointed to a pot on the map.

Remus' eyes jumped to where Peter was pointing, a grin settling on his face as he read the names Lily Evans and Sirius Black next to each other. Then he noticed the room they were in.

"Why are they in the Astronomy Tower?" Peter asked, clearly having noticed where the pair was at the same time Remus had.

He had to agree with the question. Why were they there? The only people who went to the Astronomy Tower outside of classes were couples trying to get some privacy. Looking at the two sets of footprints, Remus couldn't help but notice just how close the pair seemed to be. Lily appeared to be against a wall.

No, he thought, he wouldn't.

Sirius liked snogging but surely he would never do anything to hurt James like this.

James jumped to his feet nearly knocking over a pitcher of juice onto the map in the process. Remus quickly folded the map and he and Peter rushed after him, out of the Great Hall.


"Come on Lily," Sirius said, "you're scaring me sitting that close to the edge."

"I'm not going to jump, Sirius." She replied.

"No, but you might fall," he pointed out, "and James will be very disappointed if you fell to your mangled death before you could confess your undying love for him." Sirius sent her a smirk that only just hid how nervous he was about her precarious position on the windowsill.

"Okay, fine," she said, turning, "help me over."

He held her hand as she began to make her way back over the stone ledge.

She had almost made her way over when a stone under her foot became dislodged and she slipped.


Sorry to leave on a cliffhanger but I'll post the next chapter soon!