This work is made up of pure fiction, a wild imagination, a little wishful thinking, and too many hours invested into YouTube. I respect these guys' lives and I mean no harm in writing about their families in any way. I know they probably have wonderful loving families and amazing friendships, but as I said this is fiction and I'm taking it where I want it to go.


It was a day like any other. A day of gaming, recording, editing. And like all other days since he'd befriended the guy, Evan waited for the text that always came around noon when Delirious found a stupidly funny joke or picture to send him. But to his disappointment, the chime on his phone never echoed in his ears. He kept glancing at his phone as he set up his game. The Xbox powered on as he went into the kitchen for a drink where he heard the familiar sound of his friends popping up online. He got comfortable, but not completely. He couldn't. Delirious wasn't even online like they'd planned. He tried to shrug off the disappointment he felt, but he could never help it. Delirious was the laugh of his day, the one who always got things going, the one out of all of them that got Evan in the mood to laugh and blow shit up. He jumped when his phone chimed and he clutched at his chest. "Shit."

He would have to remind himself to turn the volume down while he was right fucking next to it. He shook his head and laughed as he slid his lock screen away. His grin faded when he read "Message: Brock".

He opened it.

"You comin'?"

He thumbed a quick reply before starting GTA up and joining Moo's lobby.

"Sup ladies?" He asked as soon as he was locked and loaded. He hopped in the car with Tyler when he swung by to pick him up. He saw explosions in the distance.

"Do I even want to know?" He asked and Tyler laughed as they heard Mini Ladd screaming as he ran in circles engulfed in flames.

"Nope. You don't."

They did the usual, exploiting glitches, shooting each other and innocent pedestrians in the process, calling off the cops. He didn't realize he was being so quiet. But he had a nagging thought in the back of his mind the whole time.

"Duuuude. Evan." Brock interrupted his brooding. "You're fucking quiet today."

"What?" He blinked and glanced at his phone for the millionth time. "Am I?"

"Yeah, man." Tyler added. "It's fucking peaceful as shit in here! Shhhh! Nobody say a word!" Everyone laughed including himself and he was about to brush the whole thing off when Mini said, "No you guys, we all know that he's only loud and obnoxious when Delirious riles him up."

"Yeah, you guys are like the terrible twos. You alone is bad enough but get you two together and chaos ensues." Lui jumped in and giggled. "Where is he anyway? I though we all said one o'clock."

"We did." Evan nodded to himself. "But I have no fucking clue where he is. Hasn't even text me today." He didn't mean to sound so mad about it. His friends didn't miss his tone and all was quiet for a moment.

"Soo, like . . . what you're saying is that he texts you every day?" Brock asked him cautiously.

Evan hesitated, "Yes."

"And he hasn't text you yet, per your guys daily routine?"

"Uhh . . . yes."

He couldn't help but feel like he was being interrogated. It wasn't like he'd ever talked about their friendship outside of gaming. It was just a thing that they had started. He'd see something that cracked him up, screen shot it, then send it to Delirious. His favorite though was getting a text every Monday morning at five o'clock that read, "Good morning, bitch." Always accompanied by a tiny little picture of a hockey mask. Even if it was five in the fucking morning it still made his day. He couldn't tell you why he felt closer to Delirious than all the other guys but things were just always off without him. Including himself. And he kind of hated that.

"Sooo." Brock broke him from his thoughts again. "You're either mad that he hasn't talked to you today. Or you're worried."

Evan shrugged and rubbed his face. "Both I guess."

Tyler exploded onto the scene in a fire-laced ATV where they had all unconsciously gathered on the beach to talk to Evan about his problems. "Well!" Tyler stood in front of him in his underwear and pig mask. "Sounds to me like you should call his lousy ass and demand an apology for standing you up!"

Evan laughed, "This isn't Dr. Phil for fuck's sake! He's probably just busy with real life things."

"Well missy, have you even text him yet to ask where the fuck he is and what is so much more important than you right now?" Tyler was practically swinging his hips and snapping his fingers dramatically by the sound of his voice.

Mini was dying of laughter and Lui was giggling as usual. Brock was quiet which meant he was going to have something to say when they got offline.

"No." Evan said and Tyler whipped out a RPG and aimed it at his face. "But I'll do it now! Shit! Calm down pig!"

He pulled out his in-game cell phone and the lobby erupted into laughter. He picked up his real phone and typed out a message to Delirious while everyone was wheezing in the background.

"Hey man, are you breathing?"

He hit send and they battled it out on their ATVs while he waited. Twenty minutes later, just when he was starting to get really worried, his phone chimed. "Hold on guys."

He slid open the message.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, Evan. I'm busy with family shit, but yes I'm breathing. I'll talk to you when I can."

"It's okay. Do what you need to do."

He turned back to his game where everyone was waiting for the verdict. "He's dealing with family stuff right now guys. But he's alive."

Everyone gave a collective, "Ooh. Okay."

The game continued as usual and Evan made a point to talk and laugh more. Most of it was genuine but a few times it was forced. After another hour they said their goodbyes and Evan sat back and rubbed his eyes. He glanced out the window at the constant flurry of snow and he sighed. Today was practice day, every Wednesday he would head down to the rink and teach some kids how to skate and shuffle around a hockey puck. It was fun watching them fall the first few times, but in the end they learned.

So Evan packed his duffle bag and headed out downtown where he spent the next three hours. It was cold on the ice but it never phased him, he'd practically lived on it his entire life. It calmed him as his glided in circles after the parents took their kids home from practice.

His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he guided himself to the guardrail where he leaned against it and opened his messages.

It was Brock.

"God." He muttered before reading. Brock was a great guy. He'd known him the longest and he always had his back when it came down to personal things. But he knew as soon as he said anything about Delirious or anyone for that matter, that was even remotely personal Brock would be the first to talk to him about it.

"You were more worried than mad, weren't you?" Evan read and it took him by surprise because the answer was 'yes'. Delirious never missed a text and never stood him up without an immediate explanation.

"Yeah, but it's fine now. I'm just weirded out that I was even worried. He was only silent for five hours... and I almost broke down and called him."

"Lol. Don't freak out about it. You care and I know, we all know, that you and Delirious are close. Closer than the rest of us."

Evan bit at his nail, "I don't know why."

"Hey man, neither do I. Nobody really knows when they get to that point with a person. Just happens. Do you not want to be?"

"I mean, I don't mind it at all. It's just . . .of all people, lol, he ends up being the one I want to call my best friend and I haven't even met him yet."

"Nobody has and that says a lot about him. He's a private guy and probably a bit insecure even though he's a social butterfly on the internet."

"Lol, I know. And I bet he's not even ugly like he thinks he is."

"He thinks he's ugly?"

Evan grinned to himself as he typed, "Yep. We've talked about it. Says he definitely can't show his face now that I have because he said he'd be the black sheep. Says we're all too attractive to have him in the group."

"What a dick. Like we care what he looks like."

"Exactly. But whatever, it's up to him when he wants to meet us face to face. I'm not pushing him."

"Let us know when he talks again. I wanna know everything's good with him."

"Will do."

Evan slid his phone back in his pocket and made a few more laps around the rink while all was quiet before it got too late in the day. He drove home in silence, listening to the thoughts running rampant in his head until he pulled into his garage and headed up to his room. He began his late night editing stretch and ate leftover pizza until the early hours of the morning.

Thursday came. Thursdays were for sleep and exercise.

Friday came. GMOD and Five Nights at Freddy's. No he hadn't heard from Delirious, stop asking, Marcel. Not that he cared, the guy was a dick to Delirious half the time. But so was Evan. The guilt boiled in his gut.

Saturday. Evan went out with his mother and bought her lunch, catching up on family things. Things were great. But still no text from Delirious. He twiddled his thumbs for fucking hours.

Sunday. More videos. More editing. More exercise.

Monday. Fun day. Not so fun. It was more GTA without the clown.

No 5 a.m. text.

He sighed heavily.

"What's up with you, Evan?" Tyler asked when they hit the ground in a splatter of blood and loose limbs.

He was silent for a moment and he knew Brock was listening hard when he swallowed and said, "I'm really fucking worried now guys. He hasn't said a word since last Wednesday."

Nogla ran over when they spawned, "Yeah it's starting to worry me a bit as well. He's never been AFK this long. None of us have really."

"Well family stuff can take up a lot of time. Know what I mean?" Tyler said. "So don't worry too much."

Evan huffed, "No, that's what's getting to me. He doesn't have family. It's just him and his mom. Like, fuck!"

"Evan! It's okay." Marcel butted in.

"Well, something could've happened to her and he's having to deal with fuck knows." Evan said and took a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face. "I just wish he would fucking call me."

"He will. But you've got to stop thinking the worst has happened." Brock said smoothly. "You hearing me, Evan?"

"I hear you." He said quietly. "I'll give him until tomorrow then I'll call."

"Good plan. Now can we not be so serious? Fucking hate you guys when you're serious." Tyler slipped in and got everyone in the lobby laughing and somewhat back to normal.

"Whatever you say, pig."


He couldn't sleep that night, just sat there in the dark editing videos with a sick feeling in the pit of his gut.

He played random games until the sun came up. Anything to take his mind off of the worry. Anything to keep his eyes off his phone.

It took him a minute to realize a few people had snuck into his party, so he slipped his headset on.

"Evan?" Lui called out.

"I'm here."

"You sound tired." Mini Ladd stated and Evan closed his eyes.

"As fuck."

"Didn't sleep?" Brock asked.

"No."

"Guys! Delirious just text me!" Lui shouted and Evan's heartbeat nearly shot through the roof.

"What?"

"I just got one too." Mini piped in and then Brock said, "Same here."

Evan felt his gut churn. His phone never went off no matter how hard he stared at it.

"Well? What did he say?!"

Brock spoke carefully, "He said . . . I don't know when I'll be able to get back on with you guys. I've been dealing with some things. It's been hard and I love you guys even if I am the annoying idiot of the group. You have all made my life better and I can't express my appreciation. But I'll get with you guys when I can. When I get through this."

Evan was silent. His heart thudded in his chest. Why hadn't Delirious sent him a message?

"Evan?"

He blinked and his phone rang. His brain took it's time processing the name on the screen. Delirious. "Guys."

"He's calling me." He said and answered the phone. All was quiet.

"Delirious?"

"Hey . . . Evan."

"What's going on? You've been scaring the shit out of me."

"I . . . I'm sorry." He heard him take a deep breath. It wavered and Evan knew then that something was truly, deeply wrong.

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what's wrong." He could hear the pleading in his own voice. The guys were quiet in his other ear.

Delirious choked, "Evan. Everything is wrong." He heard a sob and a sniff and his chest felt like it was caving. "Everything that could have possibly gone wrong in the past week . . . went fucking wrong." Delirious cried.

Evan took a deep breath. "Okay. Just breathe and tell me what happened."

Delirious' voice was shaking and Evan knew he was trying his best to hold it together for him. "This past month I moved back in with my mom. She'd been real sick and I needed to take care of her, she didn't have anyone else, you know?"

"I know." He said softly and nodded.

"I had her in the hospital for a few days. Well, she was doing better. A lot better. And I went to work Tuesday and I get a call halfway through the day. She died. Just went to sleep and never woke up."

His voice broke on the last word and Evan felt tears in the corner of his eyes. "I . . . am so fucking sorry, Delirious. I . . ."

"It's okay. . . . I'm okay." He took a breath. "But my Dad decided to show up when we were burying her."

"Wait." Evan spoke up. "Your dad? The one that left you when you were twelve?"

"That's the one."

"Why?"

"The house is his and I can't get out. I am so fucking stuck here, Evan. I can't sneeze without getting the shit beat out if me. I mean I'm not a small guy but he's huge. I've tried to fight back but I can't . . . I can't get out."

Evan was sure he was about to go into cardiac arrest with how fast his heart was beating. "You don't have any where you can go? A friend's house?"

Delirious gave a small sad laugh, "I don't have friends. I only have you and the guys. I'm no one in real life. I have no one. Even if I did run, he'd find me. He's a fucking drunk."

"Shit, Delirious."

"Evan, if something happens to me or I don't get out of here . . . "

Evan couldn't breathe. "Stop."

"I consider you my best friend."

"And you're mine." It came out in a whisper. He could barely hear the guys in his ear freaking out. Delirious huffed a laugh but it quickly disappeared.

"He's coming." He said and Evan feared for him. He was trembling for him. "I'll call you when I can."

"Jonathan!" He called out when he heard a yell, a fist meeting a face, and the sound of glass being shattered before the call ended.

He stared at the screen. "Fuck. Oh my fucking God. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck."

He dropped his phone and put his head in his hands, rocking back and forth until the headset still on one ear finally got his attention.

"Evan! Fuckin' say something!" Mini screamed in his ear.

"I don't . . . I'm gonna fucking puke." Evan muttered as he tried to shake the image of Jonathan being beat bloody at that very moment. Because he was. He choked on a sob. "Oh my God. I can't . . ."

"Deep breaths buddy." Brock said calmly even though he felt everything but.

Evan swallowed. No fucking way in hell he could just sit there and let it keep happening. He sat up and wiped his face with his shirt. "Guys."

"You okay?"

Evan rubbed his eyes and stood. "I'm going."

"Going where?"

"North Carolina. I'm the only one who has his address from sending him his Christmas present last week. I have to go, now. He could be fucking dying."

Lui finally spoke up. "Then what the fuck are you waiting for!? Go! Keep us updated but go! You're wasting time!"

He didn't say another word, just cut the power to his console and grabbed a duffle bag with a change of clothes and his passport. He was going south to find Jonathan and he was going to bring him back. He was going to bring him home.

Brock exhaled, "I can't believe this is fucking happening."

Mini agreed, "I've never heard Evan so upset. I mean I'm upset, too. That was scary as hell to listen to, but Evan . . . holy shit."

"He'll find him." Lui said assuredly.

"Yeah. He will." Brock nodded to himself. "No fucking way I can get anything done today until I hear from Evan."

Lui and Mini Ladd laughed, "Me either."

"We should let the guys know what's going on." Brock said just as Tyler text him. "Delirious sent them a text as well, Tyler just told me."

"Alright. I'll get a Skype call set up and send you boys an invite." Mini said and left the game and party.

"This is crazy. I never thought anything like this would happen." Lui said quietly before he left.

"I don't think anyone did."


Evan dozed on and off as he stared out at the clouds from his seat on the plane. The lady next to him asked multiple times if he was alright.

"I'm fine. I'm just trying to get to my friend." He said and wiped at his face to find it wet with tears he didn't know were there.

"Flying across the country to get there?"

He nodded, "North Carolina. I'm catching a connecting flight when we land."

She smiled sadly, but didn't ask him anymore questions. He slept for the remainder of the flight until she shook him awake when they were descending. He felt his nerves twisting and when the plane was firmly settled on the ground he grabbed his duffle from the storage compartment and everyone exited the plane. The airport was buzzing and his next flight was leaving in twenty minutes. He found a bathroom and brushed his teeth with a disposable toothbrush he found at a vendor. He looked sick. Pale.

There were people everywhere, he got second glances from some of them. Some looked at him like he would fall over at any second.

"Sir!" He heard and turned to find the lady that had occupied the seat next to him on the plane.

Evan stopped walking and waited for her. She smiled when she approached him.

"Here, take this. When you land in North Carolina and rent a vehicle, give them this. You shouldn't have a problem getting anything you need."

He looked at the card that was now resting between his fingers. It had the name of the rental place and her picture on the front. Owner. She owned the place. On the back she had a few random numbers written down. He looked up and opened his mouth but no words came out.

"I . . . thank you." He looked at the card again. "Amanda."

She gave him a quick hug and smiled again. "I hope you get there safely and I hope your friend is okay. Good luck."

She held her hand out and he shook it, giving her a smile in return, "Name's Evan."

"Well, Evan, it was nice to meet you. Now go catch your flight, honey." She took his shoulders and turned him around, pushing him toward his gate. He gave her a wave as he looked back and she watched him go like a worried mother.

He was wide awake for next flight. Evan didn't mind flying, but he didn't like it. He'd rather be in a car on the road, watching the scenery go by. Small towns always caught his eye. The people going about their daily lives. It was interesting the way everyone else moved around him. He was in his own world, but so was everyone else. Everyone had their own likes, dislikes, problems, significant other, good moments, bad ones. Every last person did.

He wondered what Jonathan was doing at that very moment. Was he okay? Was he still lying bloody on the floor or was he locked in his room curled around himself on his bed? Wondering where his friend was?

"I'm coming." He said to himself as the airport came into view.