A/N: This was an English assignment I had to do. It short and rather
strange, but I figure some people will appreciate it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or The Matrix. Sue me and I'll damage all your vital organs with toothpicks.
~*~*~*
I know my pass says I should have been back yesterday but something unbelievable happened to me. I was on my way to class yesterday when out of the blue, this crazy old man with a gray pointy hat and a weird guy with funny eyebrows and pointy ears appeared in this patch of swirling purple light. The guy with the pointy hat muttered something and we were swept away in an orange burst of light. We landed in this circular room which looked suspiciously like the one used in the Council of Elrond scene in "The Fellowship of the Ring". The pointy eared man told me that I had to save the people of Rohan and fight in the Battle of Helms Deep. Now, in this place, time passes quicker so I didn't leave right away.
I spent most of my time stalking hot elves, which the race the pointy eared dude was, and taking weaponry classes taught by Elrond's twin sons. Elrond is the guy with the funny eyebrows and pointy ears. Then the guy with that hat showed up again except he didn't have his hat and it looked like he fell in a bucket of bleach. It turns out that his name is Gandalf. Gandalf told me to grab my sword and we left. I think Elrond was glad to see me go because I kept calling him Agent Smith.
In a brilliant blaze of green light, we landed in Lothlorien, or so I was told. I looked into Galadriel's mirror and saw myself pushing a strange creature in lava. This totally freaked me out. Then there was a twinkle of yellow light and a sparkle of white light. It was weird.
So anyway, suddenly we are now in this meadow and there are a bunch of crazy blonde men on horses. These are the Riders of Rohan and they had been banished from Rohan. This seemed suspiciously like the movie "The Two Towers" which was not as good as the book. I had to dress like a man because everyone was sexist. After I was in my man getup, we rode to Helms Deep. There were no elves there so I had a feeling that some crazy fan fiction writer sucked me into her/his story which was a mix of the movie and book. We were all fighting and I killed five hundred Uruk-hai all by myself because it turns out I have some crazy power. This led me to believe that I was definitely in a story because I was turning into a Mary Sue which is a way too perfect character in a fan fiction. My hair was changing colors constantly which was quite annoying but that isn't important.
So after the battle, Gandalf sent me to help Frodo destroy the Ring of Power. In a flash of purplish pink light, I ended up in Mount Doom. Gollum had bitten off Frodo's finger but hadn't fallen into the fiery chasm from whence it came. I then realized what I had to do. With great effort, I pushed Gollum into the cracks of Mount Doom. There was a swift flare of blue and bronze light. Suddenly, I was standing in the same spot I was yesterday although in Middle Earth it was months ago. It was now today, so you see, I would have been back yesterday like my pass says, but I was saving Middle Earth from ultimate destruction.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or The Matrix. Sue me and I'll damage all your vital organs with toothpicks.
~*~*~*
I know my pass says I should have been back yesterday but something unbelievable happened to me. I was on my way to class yesterday when out of the blue, this crazy old man with a gray pointy hat and a weird guy with funny eyebrows and pointy ears appeared in this patch of swirling purple light. The guy with the pointy hat muttered something and we were swept away in an orange burst of light. We landed in this circular room which looked suspiciously like the one used in the Council of Elrond scene in "The Fellowship of the Ring". The pointy eared man told me that I had to save the people of Rohan and fight in the Battle of Helms Deep. Now, in this place, time passes quicker so I didn't leave right away.
I spent most of my time stalking hot elves, which the race the pointy eared dude was, and taking weaponry classes taught by Elrond's twin sons. Elrond is the guy with the funny eyebrows and pointy ears. Then the guy with that hat showed up again except he didn't have his hat and it looked like he fell in a bucket of bleach. It turns out that his name is Gandalf. Gandalf told me to grab my sword and we left. I think Elrond was glad to see me go because I kept calling him Agent Smith.
In a brilliant blaze of green light, we landed in Lothlorien, or so I was told. I looked into Galadriel's mirror and saw myself pushing a strange creature in lava. This totally freaked me out. Then there was a twinkle of yellow light and a sparkle of white light. It was weird.
So anyway, suddenly we are now in this meadow and there are a bunch of crazy blonde men on horses. These are the Riders of Rohan and they had been banished from Rohan. This seemed suspiciously like the movie "The Two Towers" which was not as good as the book. I had to dress like a man because everyone was sexist. After I was in my man getup, we rode to Helms Deep. There were no elves there so I had a feeling that some crazy fan fiction writer sucked me into her/his story which was a mix of the movie and book. We were all fighting and I killed five hundred Uruk-hai all by myself because it turns out I have some crazy power. This led me to believe that I was definitely in a story because I was turning into a Mary Sue which is a way too perfect character in a fan fiction. My hair was changing colors constantly which was quite annoying but that isn't important.
So after the battle, Gandalf sent me to help Frodo destroy the Ring of Power. In a flash of purplish pink light, I ended up in Mount Doom. Gollum had bitten off Frodo's finger but hadn't fallen into the fiery chasm from whence it came. I then realized what I had to do. With great effort, I pushed Gollum into the cracks of Mount Doom. There was a swift flare of blue and bronze light. Suddenly, I was standing in the same spot I was yesterday although in Middle Earth it was months ago. It was now today, so you see, I would have been back yesterday like my pass says, but I was saving Middle Earth from ultimate destruction.
