Author: Fugu

Archive: ask before

Warning: gore, I haven't read further than a third of Half Blood Prince so it's pretty much AU, major OOC, major sap, angst and oh yes, pretty plot less

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: purely for entertainment purposes, own no copyright.

Title: House of cards

Pairing: obviously most incredibly sappy Harry Potter/ Neville Longbottom. Other pairings as I go.

Notes: So I'm Quebecer thus my mother tongue is french and I cannot write British nor American English. All that to say that the Potter people will be speaking Canadian English. *shrug * more notes below.

House of cards

Chapter 1


'Talking about Harry, writing about him is quite difficult.' Neville thought as he bit the tip of his quill. He bent back to his journal. 'I mean there is a sense of admiration I can't shake. He's so confident and charismatic. He always looks upon me and all the other people he encounters, kindly (well except for Malfoy.) I know he has his problems thought. It's not like I think he's infallible...the...crush I have on him, yes a crush, I admit it I'm gay or at least bi'. Neville stopped writing, his cheeks flaming. It was the first time he had actually acknowledged it on paper...it made it so definitive. He decided to double the strength of the locking charm on his journal, right this instance while he remembered. 'The crush I have on him, I wont lie to myself, I must share it with all the female body of the school and the few other guys who are like me. I fantasize that the smiles, laughter and attention he shares with Hermione and Ron are also shared with me. Even Malfoy has it better than me, unbeknownst to the parties involved, Hermione, Ron, Draco and his posse are characters of the live soap opera that feeds the brunt of school's gossip. I'm invisible and I should resent it, yet I cherish those unrequited feelings. They make me feel alive! Despite the stutter I get when he addresses me or the way my heart beats painfully hard when I see him in the hallways...I recall this special afternoon, last year, when the winter sun had shone through the alcove and made his eyes impossibly sparkle, his fair skin, his black hair, his coloring had been so radiant! That image is burnt into my mind and is a favorite recollection of mine when I need a pick me up. I would never say he looked ethereal, no what makes him so fascinating are his imperfections. The right combination of imperfections that make him so human? That reminds me, that being irrevocably human, I am utterly embarrassed when I lose points in almost every subject when he tries so hard to gain them in the mist of saving his life, the wizarding world and defeating...Voldermort.' Neville shuddered as he wrote the name, but he made a point of trying to be honest with himself in his own diary. 'He has to survive and I hope he finds love even if it isn't me. I want him to be happy'

Neville was just finishing this sentence when he heard the boys coming up in the dorm room. When he felt like writing he made a point of coming up early to do it undisturbed. He knew once the boys would be in the room they often played a game or two before going to bed. As he closed his diary and felt the locking charm come into action, the curtains over his bed were violently pushed open by an enthusiastic Seamus. His other counterpart Dean squabbling with Ron about a pack of cards. So cards it was tonight; Harry was grinning from his perch on Ron's bed. The room had gone from dead silent to cacophony in a split second.

"Neville, what have you been doing here all alone in the dark."Seamus enthused. The interperllated was surreptitiously sliding his diary under his pillow, not a place of choice but it would do for now and was trying to think of a vague reason, not to sound too girly...But before he could speak.

"We're going to play a game of cards, we'll be betting chocolate frogs, come on."

Neville was about to join them when he saw a glimpsed at the dark blue sky through the window. He felt good and at peace and taking a short walk before curfew to be alone with his thoughts a little bit more seemed very good. Being in seventh year, curfew was at a later hour than for the rest of the student body.

"Ah sorry Seamus, but I think I'll pass." He got up from bed and pulled his boots on going to retrieve his clock after putting on a sweater.

"You're going out in this cold?" Seamus exclaimed. The others weren't paying them any attention still caught up in their quarrel over which card game they would play. It was a prerequisite for each game night.

Neville just shrugged. Halfway through the door a voice stopped him.

"Wait, I'll walk with you it's on the way to my room."

"Harry?"Ron inquired.

"We've got the transfiguration project to start, I need to write my proposal."

Harry had grown up too fast. He might be prefect (a punishment dished out by Headmaster Snape apparently) and survived to be in seventh year (despite the Dark Lord's best tries ) but he felt a century older while other times he succumbed to childish fits. His maturity was in his voice, his strength and in his height. His youth came through in his ability to retain a surprising amount of naivety.

Although not as tall as Ron, he was now half a head taller than most boys in their promotion and surely taller than Neville. At least he was of average height but he still couldn't drop the extra weight, despite his rigorous horticulture practice.

Neville realized he'd been taking too long to answer and smiled ruefully while shaking the cobwebs out of his head. He was about to speak when Dean budged in.

"Aw come on Harry, it's due in three days,"

"Precisely, not much to get a head start, anyways I'll join you next time promise." He kept the door open as he tried to end the conversation.

"But Harry, without you we'll only be three, since this prefect business we've hardly seen you." Ron tried one last effort.

"Aww, poor guys" Harry laughed, "you'll survive," and the door closed behind him. Neville was already at the Fat Lady's portrait when Harry caught up with him.

"Hey wait up! You didn't answer. Can I come with?"

"Whaa?" Neville asked puzzled, "We passed the prefect stair case."

Harry had the sense to blush, "I actually finished my proposal. It was just an excuse. But if you don't want to it's okay."

Neville shifted his head to the side happy that he hadn't yet stuttered. "Okay." In his head he was doing cartwheels.

Harry smiled "Great I'll get my cloak." It was a thing of seconds as his cloak had been on the sofa near the fireplace.

~oo0oo~

They walked the corridors in silence. Outside the snow and air were crisp. The moon lighting their path to the lake where Neville directed their trek. In the astral light the snow looked like countless crystals fallen from the stars. There was almost no wind, a rarity. Near the lake they sat, Neville bringing his cloak closer around his body. He looked up at the sky for a while almost forgetting that Harry was there as he emptied his mind. When he started feeling the vertigo that the vastness of the landscape always triggered in him, he closed his eyes and brought his head down before he started swaying. After a moment he opened them and looked at Harry who was still contemplating the sky. The situation in which he was at the moment was quite odd. Never had it happened before and there was no precedent to hint that it could happen.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Harry turned toward Neville and smiled ruefully. "Well it isn't only about the talk, I genuinely wanted to spend some time with you."

Neville lifted a skeptical eyebrow but didn't scoff as he didn't want to offend Harry.

Harry chose to ignore this.

"I was wondering if you wanted to try out as beater on the Quidditch team this year. I wanted to propose your name to Angelina as back-up beater, since the season already started." And that was completely Harry's fault for not having the nerves to ask Neville in October. Although he'd thought the young man would have volunteered on his own and then he'd gotten caught up in practices, prefect duties and his extracurricular courses and search of Horxcruces with Snape. He'd never had time to just get Neville alone.

There was a complete silence. Than Neville burst out laughing so hard he was practically rolling in the snow. The fit took him by surprise, but felt quite good, he didn't have a lot of these.

Harry at the beginning seemed affronted but soon he could see the humor in the situation and chuckled a bit. It was true that when you looked at Neville's history in sports it was an absurd vision.

Neville soon composed himself, rubbing his chest as he sat up.

"Oh Merlin, be still my heart" a few chuckles escaped as he cleared his throat, "Oh Merlin that was good", he looked towards Harry with tears in his eyes, "Don't tell me you're serious about that?"

Harry took a moment to respond, he was looking at Neville with a glazed expression and he seemed miles away all of a sudden.

Neville's eyebrows rose and he passed his hand in front of Harry's face. "Harry?"

Harry blinked "Mhh…sorry I mean yeah I'm serious."

Neville laughed some more "Oh stop having me on, with my renown clumsiness and the wonderful 1st year episode it should dissuade you from putting my name even in the same sentence as broom flying and maybe even broom. I known I did."

"Liar"

Neville choked "What!"

"I saw you practice when nobody is on the pitch, you're a mean beater. You're physical strength when you hit the bludger...I haven't seen many people being able to pull off the distance you can achieve, even Fred and George would be hard pressed."

Neville was looking at him flabbergasted, for a moment speech stolen from him.

"H, how l- long,"damn back to the stuttering, he shut his mouth swallowed, "How long have you been watching me?" he asked a bit panicky.

Harry's hand came to his elbow, his eyes concerned when he saw the man before him pale, his breathing gone shallow.

"I didn't mean to," he hurried to reassure, "and nobody else knows I made sure of it when I found out." That seemed to reassure Neville and he relaxed marginally, color coming back to his cheeks. Harry relaxed.

Neville shook his head while he collected his thoughts "Coming from you it's a huge compliment..." and the boy contemplated what it would be like to be in the team, be part of the boys, to belong, be seen as somebody other than the chubby less than average but nice student. How it would be in a world with friends, just one really, to whom he could ,confess his deep secrets and hang out...but he knew how it was in the real world. He might be good on his own, but the panicky and frantic chaos of the game with teammates counting on him, they whizzing every which way, noise, disorientation, not being able to position himself, the sure accident of hitting one of his own, the embarrassment , humiliation, the defeat. He felt a sour taste in the back of his mouth. Anyhow, it was true that he had started to practice broom flying, he found out two years ago that he had become physically stronger (especially in the arms, shoulders and thighs) because of the hard work he did in herbology during the summers. His personal projects asked for some skills in construction, the muggle way ( building the plots, moving dirt and dung, some plants were also quite big and heavy, he had planted many small trees, etc ) and his balance had improved.

He picked up flying and bludger beating as an outlet. Believe it or not Neville wasn't always sniveling and nice, he could get righteously angry on occasions, thank you very much. He was just decent enough not to beat people about it, like a certain professor that he wouldn't name. He had to admit that at the beginning of this year he had used that outlet a lot, until he was able to control himself better. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't practiced for a couple of months. Sooo, Harry had been watching him all this time? He couldn't help but feel a little giddy.

"I'm sorry but no thanks."

"What, why not!" Harry asked surprised. How could anybody say no to quidditch, especially one which such talent as Neville.

"It's for the security of my would be team mates that I'm declining," he said with a rueful smile.

Harry looked at him puzzled but before a word was uttered Neville cut in "Let's leave it at that Harry, please."

Harry couldn't understand, he had the feeling that he was missing a huge chunk here and it frustrated him, but not more than losing the opportunity to have a good player on his team.

Neville got up and started walking up the hill towards the castle giving Harry the liberty to follow him if he wanted to. He had to stop at the stairs to catch his breath, he hadn't remembered the hill being so steep.

"Are you alright," Harry asked concerned. He had caught up awhile ago but had nothing to say as he'd been going over their talk trying to figure out what had passed that he'd miss.

"Yeah," Neville pushed himself from the stone where he had been leaning, "give me a...minute." He sighed and climbed the stairs which didn't really help his recovery.

"I've been... bit... tired late...ly", he said by way of explanation for his red cheeks and stilted breath when they got to the Gryffindor's entrance after those awfully long flights of stairs. He leaned against the wall a hand to the pain in his side.

He smiled reassuringly towards Harry. "Go on," he gestured towards the portrait, "I'll be... just a minute, I'm sure... you ...tired. Don't worry." he smiled again.

Now that he thought of it he WAS grossly out of shape. The fact that he'd stopped practicing bludger beating and advanced herbology as he did at home couldn't account for that. Moreover, those stairs had been climbed for what would be seven years now and never had he been so winded. By the look Harry was sending, he must've been thinking around the same lines. Where was his "star" beater now.

"Nan it's okay, I can wait a bit." Harry smiled to hide his worry.


Notes: If you have read my other fics, you know that I just write for the sake of Sap and hurt/comfort; you know that I don't start arcs chronologically either. More so, I'm not a prolific writer, but I need to finish what I start. I hope that publishing will help me finish this story in the next three years? This is a work in progress, meaning that at anytime I might go back to rewrite and polish this fic as I add chapters. If any of these things are peeves, then you shouldn't be reading this story. Cheers ^_^