A/N: This was an extra credit English assignment I had. It isn't written in Elizabethan, but it is rather humorous or so I think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Romeo and Juliet.

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Have you ever wondered what started the feud between the Capulets and the Montagues? Many have, but few actually know. I doubt that the Montagues and the Capulets even remember, for it was such a silly thing to start such a feud over. It is quite likely that I'm the only living person who knows of the petty argument that started it all. I suppose I should tell you this silly tale so you will not let a childhood disagreement lead to your children's death.

It was an ordinary day in Verona, Italy. Old Montague and Capulet at the time weren't very old, in fact, they were but mere children. Montague and Capulet were the best of friends and often played together, so it was not considered odd to see the pair in the Capulet orchard. The only odd thing was the bored expressions they wore on their faces. For you se, the Capulet and Montague children were never bored before, which is rather unfortunate sine their boredom led to the small disagreement. That small disagreement started a feud which divided Verona. The incident of boredom went something like this.

"I'm bored!" declared Montague, plopping down on the grass, wet with the morning's dew.

"Me too!" said Capulet, sitting next to his friend.

"What do you want to do?" asked Montague.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" replied Capulet.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" Montague replied, picking at grass.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" said Capulet, twirling a stick in his hand.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" Montague asked, throwing pebbles at a tree.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" Capulet said, twiddling his thumbs.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" asked Montague, watching an ant crawl.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" spoke Capulet.

By this time, a servant, (we'll call him Tony), from the Capulet household, who happened to be in the orchard for unexplained reasons, (some say he was headed to the wheat field so he could send a message through a crop circle to his mother ship, but that's another story, for another day) had gotten very annoyed with the argument.

Stepping out from behind s random tree, Tony said, "Why don't you play officers and highway men?"

"Okay!" should both boys loudly.

After checking to make sure he wasn't deaf, Tony left. It is quite possible that he went to make crop circles, but we can't get sidetracked from this story.

"I want to be the officer," said Montague.

"No, you're the highway man," declared Capulet.

"No, you are!" stated Montague.

"No, you are!" said Capulet.

"No, you are!" Montague said.

"Fine! The highway man is cooler anyway," said Capulet with a superior smirk. "He gets to steal stuff."

"No! I want to be the highway man now!" cried Montague.

"Too bad! I'm the highway man and that is FINAL!" yelled Capulet.

"I'm not speaking to you anymore!" said Montague huffily.

"Fine!" shouted Capulet.

"Fine!" screamed Montague.

They both went home to their respective mansions and told their parents that the other family was evil. Also that the other family must no longer be considered a friend. Of course the parents listened, because the children were spoiled little heirs.

So that is the basic story. Rather silly, isn't it? Yet the Montagues and Capulets are very stubborn so they held the grudge. If there is one lesson to be learned, it is to not let a petty argument ruin your children's lives.