Sousuke wandered the halls of the swimming center, denying to himself that he was lost. He was simply turned around, he'd figure out where he was any minute. He was in search of Rin, he had come to see his friend race. Naturally Rin had placed first, though it had been close since Haru had also been an entrant today.
His relationship with Haru was a strange one. On one hand he had started to understand him as a person and had become close enough to be on a first name basis. On the other Haru remained his closest rival.
Which was silly, because they weren't really rivals, it was only Sousuke who saw them that way. And he knew that it was really more jealousy than anything. That Haru got a side of Rin that Rin never showed to him. That Rin sought out his company, always has, and yet left him behind. Jealous of the way Rin looked at him.
Sousuke shook his head. He had long ago realized that his love was one-sided, and had decided to repress it. To get over it, move on. But seeing as he was now a full-fledged adult and still had these feelings he obviously wasn't doing a very good job.
It had been nice, that last year of high school, when they had lived together and been around each other 24/7. Sousuke had almost let himself hope that there was a chance he would get his feelings returned. But in the end it was always Haru.
Which was especially frustrating seeing as Haru seemed to have absolutely no interest, and he hadn't asked but was pretty sure had a thing with Makoto. If Rin was in love with someone and got together with them maybe he would be able to get over him. But with Rin still being on the market it made it hard for Sousuke to give up completely, no matter how much he wanted to.
Pausing Sousuke came back to the present, were those voices? They seemed to be coming from a room further up the hallway. As he came closer he easily identified his best friend's voice, and from the sounds of the one sided conversation he was probably talking to Haru.
The door was open so he made no noise as he entered the room, but Sousuke heard the world crash to a stop and felt his heart drop through the floor at the sight that greeted him. The pair were sitting on a bench with their backs toward him so neither knew that he was there. Rin's arms were wrapped around Haru, his head resting on Haru's shoulder as he talked into his neck and Sousuke swore that his lips brushed the skin there. Haru wasn't reciprocating in the least but wasn't pushing him away either.
Without saying a word Sousuke turned and left. For a moment everything was numb, but before long he was walking faster and faster before he was running, trying to escape the pain he felt coming. But before long it caught up with him, pushing him to the floor in an empty corridor.
It hurt, it hurt so much. Every time he saw a scene like that it ripped through him like a jagged knife piercing an old wound. But he was getting tired. Tired of the hurt and the pain of this one sided love. He couldn't do this anymore, this had to stop. Nothing had changed nor would it ever, it was time to move on. For real this time. So that he wouldn't have to feel like this anymore. A strangled sob escaped his throat, and a single tear slid down his cheek. And as it dropped off of his chin he felt lighter, if only by a little bit. He could do this, would do this. So that he would never have to feel like this again.
He had almost left, not really wanting to see Rin, but didn't want to be rude either so he made his way back to the entrance hall to wait for his friends. By the time they showed up it was impossible to tell that Sousuke had cried, not that he really had in the first place, and when the pair walked into view he put on a happy face.
"Congratulations Rin."
"Thanks." Rin smiled at him before turning to Haru, the smile turning into a smirk as he boasted his win. Haru's eyebrow twitched and he looked away. Laughing Rin swung an arm around Haru's shoulder. "So you wanna come to dinner with us?" Sousuke told himself to ignore the way his heart squeezed, though it wasn't as painful anymore, like he was numb.
"No, I need to go home." To see Makoto was plain on his face. Makoto hadn't been able to make the meet because of school, and it was easy to see that Haru was anxious to get back to him. He absentmindedly wondered how Rin couldn't see it.
"You're no fun." Rin whined but let Haru go. Saying goodbye Haru quickly exited the building and was out of sight. Rin sighed shaking his head before looking up at Sousuke. "So? Where to?"
Looking away Sousuke shrugged. "I'm not really hungry."
"What? C'mon you can't bail on me too!" He stepped forward and playfully kicked at Sousuke's leg. Sousuke couldn't help the small grimace that came over his features as he backed up a step. Smile falling Rin looked him over again with a furrowed brow and concerned eyes. "Hey are you okay?"
This wasn't fair, the wound was too raw and when Rin looked at him like that it made him want to go back, to forget about moving on. But he knew that he couldn't go back, not now. It could work this time, he could feel it. Crossing his arms he tried to keep his expression and voice neutral, though he was pretty sure he failed on both accounts. "Yeah, I'm just not up for going out tonight."
Rin's eyes searched his face for a clue as to what was really wrong, but when he didn't find anything gave up. "Okay. Let's go home then." Sousuke resented the way that was worded but nodded anyway.
The train ride home was a quiet one. They lived opposite ways from each other once getting off the train, and Rin looked like he wanted to follow Sousuke home. Sighing he turned to look his friend in the eye for the first time since they were at the swimming center. "Listen, I'm fine really, I'm just not feeling it tonight." Rin didn't look totally convinced.
"Are you sure? I can come over if you want." He offered with that same concerned look he had been wearing all evening.
"No I'm good, you go get some rest, you deserve it." He smiled but it was forced, and his childhood friend saw through it immediately. Luckily he decided to drop it.
"Okay. See you later then."
"Yeah, goodnight." Sousuke headed for home, not once looking back.
Once reaching his apartment an idea struck him, not one he was particularly fond of for several reasons, but one that just might work. Pulling out his cell phone he scrolled through the contacts before selecting one and hitting 'call'. After a few rings an energetic voice answered.
"Sousuke! What a surprise!" Kisumi's refreshing voice was too much for Sousuke right now, even through the phone. Pinching the bridge of his nose Sousuke started.
"Hey Kisumi, I was wondering if you could do me a favor."
"Heeeh, what kind of favor?"
Sousuke paused, did he really want to do this? Shaking his head he reminded himself of why he was doing it and pressed on. "I was wondering if you could hook me up with someone."
"Eehhh? Really?" Kisumi sounded a little shocked, and Sousuke realized with a fair amount of certainty that his friend knew about his old crush.
"Yeah, it's about time dontcha think? And I'm not having much luck on my own so I figure you might know someone."
"Hmmm, I might. Are you looking for a girl? Or…" Sousuke was vaguely irritated by how well Kisumi seemed to know him even though he had never given up this information. But for the moment he pondered the question seriously.
"A girl." He decided. He had realized long ago that he had been into both guys and girls, though one guy in particular had taken up most of his attention. But right now a guy might remind him too much of Rin, a girl sounded like a better option.
"Okay, I'll get back to you on that."
"Thanks."
Kisumi was silent for a moment before asking, "Is everything okay?"
Sousuke was quickly coming to hate that question and its implications.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He tried not to snap. But Kisumi just laughed it off.
"No reason. Okay then I'll talk to you later!"
"Yeah, bye."
As the click of the phone sounded in Sousuke's ear he began to feel uncertain. Pushing it down he stood up. This was the right thing to do, the healthy thing to do. He was going to get over Rin, one way or another.
