I just couldn't take it anymore. Watching Freddie flirt with Carly all day everyday when I love him pushed me over the edge. So, I went to the kitchen (at my house, I doubt Carly has a razor at her's) and found the sharp piece of metal laying near the sink. I grabbed it and jogged over to the bathroom. Once inside, I raised my sleeve, all the way to my shoulder. I knew exactly what I was going to carve into my skin: imperfect. Because that's what I am, imperfect. Not like Carly though, she's perfect. She's girly and frilly and pretty and nice. And that's why he loves her. I could feel the tears come to my eyes as I ran the blade over the skin of my upper arm. It hurt like hell, but after i was done (I can write... er, carve really small letters so it doesn't even go down to my elbow), I felt... good. My arm was bleeding, but not too badly. I dabbed off my arm and rolled my sleeve back down and wiped the tears out of my eyes. I slowly stood from the bathroom floor and redid my makeup (well, the eyeliner since that's all I wear). I changed quickly and ran out the door. I only had about a half hour before iCarly started. I ran the whole way to Carly's and also up the stairs. That is more running than I have ever done in my life. Ever. Well... maybe, there was this one time when I put a bottle of hot sauce in a cop's coffee...
"Sam! SAM!" Carly called and I jumped out of train of thought. My hand immediately flew to my new cut, but I covered myself by acting like I was scratching.
"Yeah" I replied innocently.
"We've been calling for like 10 minutes." Freddie said, looking almost concerned.
"Oh, well sorry. I was thinking." I said quietly as the adrenaline wore off and my arm began to hurt again.
"Okay cool, but we gotta start iCarly!" Carly exclaimed as we took our places and the show began.
"And we are... clear! Great show guys!" Freddie called as he set his camera down. By now, my hurt like hell once again. I rubbed it unconsciously as Freddie walked over to Carly and began his usually flirting. It stung pretty bad and I felt like cutting again.
"Momma's hungry!" I said as an excuse to go down to the kitchen. I ran down the stairs again, but when I got there, I didn't find anything. My heart ached more and I needed a way to release this pressure... this hurt. Before I knew it, I was in Carly's bathroom grabbing a new shaver. I locked the door and slowly ran the cold steel along my arm again, just above my first cut. I observed the word and felt tears well again. But I managed to blink them back this time.
"Sam, you okay?" Carly called from outside.
"Yup!" I called back as I flushed the unused toilet and washed the blood off my fingers before walking out.
"Did you wash your hands?" Freddie asked, looking shocked.
"Yeah." I answered simply. His mouth fell open from the lack of insults and pain.
"Sam... are you sure you feel fine?" Carly asked, very concerned this time.
"Yeah I just need to go, see ya tomorrow Carls. Freddie." I said walking out and back home.
I walked into my pitch black house, turning on lights as I went along. I went straight to bed, dreading the next day. If I was pushed to cutting myself... what else could I be pushed to do? God, I really don't want to kill myself, I just don't want to live anymore either.
*3rd person POV*
(Back with Carly and Freddie)
"... Something is seriously wrong..." Freddie said, his eyes still wide.
"I know. Hey, have you told her yet?" Carly asked, taking a seat next to him on her bed.
"No, I'm afraid she'll kill me. But really, did you hear her? She called me 'Freddie'." he said, worried about his best frenemy.
"Yeah, that was really weird. Maybe if you'd just tell her..."
"Yeah yeah yeah, I have to go, my mom'll freak soon."
"K, bye!" And with that, Freddie was gone and sleep came to Carly as soon as her head hit the pillow.
*Sam's POV again*
The next several days passed in a blur. The same thing would happen day after day. I would wake up, get dressed go to school, see Freddie, get sad and cut myself in the girl's bathroom at lunch. I only cut the upper part om arms, so not much bleeding happened. And everyday, I would re-carve 'imperfect' after school. Life was simple, easy. It sucked but I had my dirty little secret so it was fine. Well, until the day I tripped.
I walked into Carly's apartment as I always do, but Carly and Spencer weren't there today. I blinked for a couple of seconds, but slowly turned back to door and began to leave. But that's when Freddie just so happened to be walking in. Long story short, he bumped into me, I began to fall, he caught me, but my sleeve pulled up and my cuts were completely exposed. Ah shit.
*Freddie's POV*
I couldn't believe my eyes. There, on Sam's left arm, were cuts. Everywhere. I looked up at her with wide eyes.
"S-sam... wha-what happened?" I stuttered. She tried to snatch her arm back but I kept a firm grip on her. I looked over the many cuts but one huge one stood out. It was a word: imperfect. She didn't...? "Sam, talk." I demanded now.
"What do you want me to say Freddie? I cut myself 'cause it feels nice. It takes away the emotional pain!" she yelled, her eyes filling with tears.
"Okay, who's ass do I need to kick?" I asked, deadly serious. Who ever caused Sam to cut herself didn't deserve to live.
"You can't kick your own ass Freddork." she stated quietly, shyly. My world suddenly came crashing down. Me? I did this?
"Oh my god, Sam. I-I'm sorry. If you really didn't like me flirting with you, all you had to do was tell me." I said feeling guilty. I had been flirting with her ever since I realized that if I dated Carly, I would have to deal with guys fawning over her all the time. So, basically, I started right after our first kiss. After that kiss, I saw her differently. After seeing her actually care that I was getting bullied and how we shared our very first kiss. It changed me.
"It's fi- wait... What did you say?"she asked, sounding shocked and slightly confused at the end.
"You could have just told me to back off." I repeated.
"No no no, before that!"
"Um, If you really didn't like me flirting with you?" I asked more than repeated this time. Why was she surprised by this?
"Flirting with me? No, it was your flirting with Carly." she said slowly, like she was talking to a three year old.
"I wasn't flirting with Carly, I was asking her how I could win you over." I explained quickly. Sam stood there silently and perfectly still, so I slowly let go of her arm. "Sam, I deal with your punches and slaps, because I love that you're touching me. I deal with all of your name calling, because I love your voice. I deal with you, because I love you." I said quietly. I waited for a response, but she just stood there. Silently. I sighed and began to turn around to leave, it was obvious that she didn't love me too. I was about half way around my turn when she grabbed my arm and crushed her lips to mine. It was so much different than our first kiss! Our lips moved in perfect sync and- wow, when did she become such an amazing kisser? We were juniors now, so we had obviously done a lot of kissing, but I didn't expect her to be that good of a kisser! Soon enough, she released my arm to wrap her arms around my neck. I instantly wrapped my arms around the small of her back and pulled her closer. I was just about to slip in some tongue, when she pulled away. I could feel the confused, slightly hurt expression on my face.
"No need to look like a lost puppy dork! Momma's just hungry." Sam laughed. I perked up a little bit. I just realized that she always calls me a "momma's boy" and she calls herself "momma"!
"Okay Princess Puckett, shall it be ham?" I asked, walking to the kitchen.
"Yes, now cook my nubby slave!" she called from the living room.
"Hey, how could you even kiss a nub?" I asked as I pulled out all of the ingredients for a ham sandwich.
"You may be a nub, the nubbiest nub in all of nubdom, but you're my nub. The only nub that could ever make me fall in love." she said and I stopped what I was doing. She loved me too. She loved me too! I smiled from ear to ear and picked up right where I had left off. Something tells me that this relationship is gonna be awesome.
"I think that you should, that you are no where near imperfect. You are a perfect Puckett... and maybe a perfect Benson." I called, whispering the very last part. She looked over at me and pretended to glare.
"I heard that last part Benson." she growled, but there was a small smile on her face.
"Sorry... Benson." I chuckled. This made Sam jump off the couch and tackle me in the kitchen. We fought for dominance and she almost won, but I ended up above her. I smiled down at her and slowly leaned down to kiss her again, but right before I got to her lips, she flipped us around and was above me. She giggled (yes, Samantha Puckett giggled!) and gave me a chaste kiss before standing up and walking away again. Oh, yes, this was going to be an awe inspiring relationship.
