My very first femslash, so please bear with me! I have to say I had conflicting feelings with this one ;-; (Guren's backstory broke my heart!). I am looking forward to do more GurenxAnko fics! (Sooner or later) ^.^

Out of all the Naruto Shippuden filler arcs, Guren's is the one I enjoyed the most, still do and her design is just so damn fab! Yukimaru too! I love their relationship, and the fact that Guren admits her wrong doings and tries to make up for it, that just really stood out to me (among the fillers). She's just lovely and she needs a woman like Anko Mitarashi in her life (because Anko is full of life!).

I'm also very fond of domestic life, and/or slice of life type of AUs, so I wanted to incorporate that with Orochimaru, I mean he literally founded Otogakure and filled it up with teens, some he picked up along the way others idk how they got there. Point is, Orochimaru is a parent to Mitsuki so why not all the other orphans he once had?

Now onto the story:


She's should have stayed down.

She should have allowed her eyes to close.

She should have given up.

She should have done a lot of things but get back up, at least that's what she would hear muttered and whispered as she walked through the narrow uphill streets of her village. Her hair came off its ponytail as she stumbled uphill, her clothes in tatters, the piece of cloth that once made up her shirt, hanging loosely from her right shoulder leaving her other half bare to the prying eyes of the townspeople, a busted lip, a swelling soon-to-be-black eye accompany her on her journey back to the place she once called home.

"What did she do?"

"Should we call the Clan Head?"

"Yes, he'll know what to do."

"Don't be stupid, she might come after us."

"Yeah but-"

"Shut up, shut up, here she comes."

Guren…that is not her real name. Guren stopped right in front of the group of women who had gathered after hearing the commotion going on in the middle of the village; a commotion that involved the young girl and her now deceased parents—it was an accident that's all she could think of now. She raised her head and turned to face them, her tangled light blue hair falling to the side as she regarded them with empty dark eyes. The women tensed considerably, took slight steps back. When the teen reached for them with her hand the women shrieked in terror and scattered away from her; calling for help as they ran down the slanted streets.

Guren dropped her hand and faced the ground, once again walking uphill with what little life she had left.

She should have stayed down.

She shouldn't even be alive.

She's supposed to be broken.

She's should have stayed down.

The hours passed and the clan head of her village soon knocked on her wall, for you see the little shack that she once called a home doesn't even have a real door to start with, and without waiting for a response the man allowed himself into the shabby place.

"Guren," came the rough voice of the male clan head. Guren continued tending to her wounds, a small mirror stood up right on the low table as she dabbed her lips with alcohol, the only sign of her discomfort being her twitching muscles; though that could also be attributed to the exertion of her powers.

She could feel her charka, vicious and restless, flowing with burning speed as she sat with a leg propped up to rest her arm on. Now that she knows what it feels like, Guren can't help but wonder if this feeling will persist next time she ever makes use of her powers.

"Guren," said the male forcefully, walking into the tiny cupboard room she once called a home. He came to stand behind her, and she could feel his chakra too, slowly brewing from his core, swirling to life as it over took the body's pathways; recognizing his chakra with such vividness had Guren feeling nauseous.

She didn't turn at all, but she did stop her dabbing, she raised her eyes and met the male's amber gaze through the tiny mirror. He frowned and nudged her with his foot; arms crossed, imposing, unwavering.

"Guren," he tried again and this time it came out much gentler, much calmer, she felt her throat painfully constrict and she had to force herself to keep from gagging. He dropped on his knee, a calloused hand reaching for her malnourished face as he forced her to fully face him. Guren met his eyes and reminded herself to breathe and to keep calm—its okay, she's okay, nothing will happen.

"What happened?" he asked in that same soft tone, rubbing his thumb against her cheek in a comforting way, it made Guren sick to her stomach.

"…"

"Don't want to talk about it?"

"…"

The male let out a defeated sigh and dropped his hand from her face, before rising up to his feet again.

"Come on, you can't stay here alone, this shack isn't safe and you have yet to eat," he stated, looking down at the unmoving figure. Guren turned back to face her mirror, reaching for her ponytail on the table and resumed her business as if the other being wasn't present in the room.

"Alright, then I'll come back later and bring you something to eat. Don't wander off you are too injured for that, then you will tell me what happened back there," he stated before leaving, pushing up the bamboo curtain and disappearing just as he had appeared.

Guren looked back at her reflection in the mirror and she could see her eyes watering against her will, her left eye slowly swelling and turning into a complex shade of red and purple, the once white sclera now adorned with red blood. She could see herself breathing, the tears hadn't come out, and she clearly see her being through the mirror, she's alive, she's alive, she's alive, she's alive…

She should have stayed down.

She shouldn't even be alive.

She's supposed to be broken.

She should have stayed down.

"Why…" trailed the blue haired teen, silently, as she reached with her hand to touch her reflection. Tracing her eyebrows, her lips, her eyes, her nose, then down her throat, and then back again to her eyes, tracing and hoping that somehow something would shift on that reflection. Fed up with the unchanging image, Guren growled in anger and frustration, hitting the tiny mirror and sending it flying across the room. The breaking of the glass was so deafening that Guren had to scream in order to hear something, anything but the pulse in her ears. By the time she was done with her fit, she was gasping for air, her hair once again out of its ponytail and down the sides of her face.

She stood up and tumbled as she tried to regain motion and feeling into her numb limbs. She made her way out just like that, the white snow mocking her very existence as it gently fell from the grey sky above her. She stared back at the sky, feeling a few snowflakes land on her cheek, slowly liquefying and rolling down them. She would have stayed there longer, but hypothermia isn't one of the ways she wants to die, and she would rather walk back to the middle of the village before leaving it for good.

She walked down the slanted streets, high slopes, houses and store fronts alike tilting sideways down the street all leading down to the middle of the village that stood on leveled ground. She really couldn't wrapped her head around whoever decided to create her village in such terrain, but then again it's not like she felt like wrapping her head around too many things as of lately.

Guren huffed as the slope strained her already weak muscles as she walked down slowly to keep herself from falling face first into the ground, or roll down the street, either one is just as deadly and painful. She would have kept her slow pace, except that the sudden shrieks of terror and blood curling screams were anything but ignorable. Guren made a dash to the center of the village and soon stopped on her tracks as she took in the view.

The decision is difficult laugh or cry, which one will it be? Laugh? Cry? Guren settles for a thin smile as she watches the clan head's home stand ablaze, civilians, and shinobi alike running, barking out orders as they try to control the situation. She could feel them push her, bumping into her as women and children tried to get away from the warm fire. She breathed in, taking in the scent of cinders and burnt skin and raised her arms to the sky, staring as grey became tainted with red and black.

By the morning nothing had been left in the middle of the village, the villagers had all either escaped the slaughter or died. Guren remained in the village, alone and sitting down with her knees up against her chest, her black eye finally ceasing its throbbing; taking its natural course and naturally blinding her left eye. Guren stared and reminded herself to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, and keep calm. She's alive, she's alive, she's alive, she's alive, she's alive, she's alive, she's alive…

Guren would have continued with her inanimate position but the sudden presence behind her had her sense firing synapses to alert her of the threat, she whipped her head around, standing up in the process as she took in the figure before her.

Deadly, yet beautifully painted eyes, a deceitful smile, long black hair, and a strangely pale complexion is what she could see in the surface of the male. He reaches out to her with his hand, resting his cold hand against her cheek, a small frown marring his features as he examines the nasty wound to her eye, she in return, observes with a wide eye and awestruck as she tries to decode the meaning of his appearance.

"You're alive," he rasps and smiles down at her, he lets his hand drop from her face and walks past her, Guren following his every movement with her eye, she turns to fully face him as he stops a few steps away from her, turning to raise questioning brow at her. Guren blinked back before getting the hint and rushing after the male, she looked back to the place she once called home and turns from it without regrets.


Years passed, she came of age and became the man's disciple…or something like that. Guren learned that he's fond of orphans, even though he denies it vehemently, she knows deep down inside that he does. If not he wouldn't try so hard to give them a meaning in life, he wouldn't drop subtle hints, he wouldn't nudge them so much, or berate the shit out of them when they failed to meet expectations. She went after the man because she envied his imposing power, his ease to just walk among the rubble, unscathed, and hold his head up high. Dignified, composed, calculating, she wanted that, she wanted his recognition, wanted the type of resistance he possesses, that's why she followed after him.

Orochimaru, the man Guren encountered in her destroyed village, brought them all to Otogakure no Sato, a village he started alone, in the hopes that all these orphans would find something to live for, while he conducts his research.

He experiments on humans, but not on the orphans themselves, especially at such a young age. Orochimaru has something similar to morals, especially when it comes to young children, he won't experiment on them at all, and all he asks of them is to bring him whatever prisoners or victims they can gather so he can proceed with his experiments on them instead. If a fully grown orphan then decides to be experimented on, Orochimaru would comply without second thoughts. Those are the kids he tries to empower and keep alive the most, after all there's a reason to their sudden want of power—they have found what to live for.

After years helping Orochimaru with his plans, non-stop working and fighting, Guren finally stopped to look at everyone who lives with her: these kids are younger than her by five year or more, they even got babies. How did Orochimaru manage to get to those children, Guren has yet to know, and maybe she doesn't want to find out. She does meet orphans her age, Anko…Kabuto, and Gozu once in a while, and then she memorizes the faces of the younger generations: Kimimaro, Tayuya, Jirobo, Kidomaru, Sakon/Ukon, Jugo, Karin and Suigetsu, followed by the lone toddler: Yukimaru. They all lived to earn Orochimaru's praise, they all are quite over protective of the older male, and have come to see each other as a family. The only exception would be if the place they call home is being endangered.

Kabuto is the medic of their home, serves and helps out Orochimaru with his data gathering and experimentations, honing his skills in the process.

Anko fought like no other, sometimes too reckless, other times she could strike in the blink of an eye; like a snake and much too closely related to Orochimaru's own fighting style, and always, always beautiful, her form is both imposing and graceful (it's surprising that the purple haired teen never called Guren out for staring too much or for always following her when she would train with Orochimaru).

Kimimaro is in charge of the Sound Five (as Orochimaru has nicknamed them) since they are around each other often and accompany him whenever he plans to erect a barrier. Jugo follows Kimimaro and does as Kimimaro says, he doesn't even listen to Orochimaru anymore (and all the orphans have come to the silent agreement that he's quite the rebel from their home).

Karin does what she wants, learned some tricks from Orochimaru, medical ninjutsu from Kabuto, but her greatest asset lies on the fact that she's the best Sensor type they have known. Not only is she from the now extinct Uzumaki Clan, she's able to sense chakra signatures from miles away, she can quickly heal other's by having them bite her, and she's capable of manifesting the Chakra chains, though she has yet to figure that part out.

The other Otogakure ninjas have their own unique traits and specialties, most of their attacks rely heavily on sound for obvious reasons (and perhaps subtle ones too).

What does Guren do then? She's got the kekkei genkai: Crystal Release, she's practically able to materialize anything into her famous pink crystal. She has yet to learn much, she has just reached seventeen, but Orochimaru has taken great interest in it. And if this strange power of hers, the power that isolated her from her village, the power that brought her the village's Clan Head to her bed, the power that her parents detested so much and willingly exchanged for a life full of luxuries, if this monstrous power is to bring her the attention of the man she respects the most, then god damn it she's willing to make it stronger and wait for it: wait for the time that it will be useful to him.


By the time Guren reached her late twenties, she abandoned their little home. She failed Orochimaru, she let him down, she couldn't go back there and meet his eyes, not when the burden of disappointment weighted heavily on her shoulders. She went into hiding, staying away from praying eyes, away from human interaction, from the outside world. This is her punishment for failing the only person that ever bothered to acknowledge her existence, her powers, what made her Guren.

Guren never thought about returning to the real world, she even tried using her own powers against herself, exhausted herself until she passed out, ran low on chakra so many times that she lost count, and yet her brain wouldn't understand. It wouldn't allow her to let go, to end it all. She can't escape her mind; she can't do anything but remain alive.

She is broken.

She is down on her knees.

She is alive too...

Ever so slowly, she stopped eating, stopped moving all together, and remained silent, laying down on the cold, cold, cold cave floor. She could feel everything leaving her, darkness approaching quick, and for a split second wished…she wished she could have thanked Orochimaru, for at least acknowledging her at some point.

…Fate…destiny…her wish, she doesn't know what to call it, because during the moments that she thought her mind would finally let go, someone did come back for her.

When she first met the purple haired woman, who also seemed to sport a similar spiked ponytail, and got along with Orochimaru rather comfortably, it was back in their childhood and Guren looked up to her with admiration. Slowly that admiration turned into a "puppy crush" a phase of sorts that Guren had thought would come to an end. The reality was, that it didn't, the more time she spent with Orochimaru and the other orphans, the more time she spent around the other young woman, the more her heart started to attach string, to remember the happy times she ever spent back in Otogakure with the purple haired woman. She couldn't help as the tears slid down her cheeks, and she called out the other woman's name:

"Anko…"

"…"

"You idiot, I'm here," came the far away reply. Guren forced her eyes to open, and she met the worried gaze of the person she loved the moment she welcomed her into their safety net: home. Guren tried to smile, but the attempt had more tears rolling down her thin cheeks. Anko reached with her hand to wipe away the tears and smiled sadly at the blue haired woman she held in her arms.

Anko could hear the others coming, calling out to her asking if she had found the person they specifically came looking for.

"She's here!" she called back before whispering to herself, "…oh god, she is here." Anko tucked away a lose strand of hair behind Guren's ear and continued to whisper reassurances to the dying woman before her. Orochimaru was the first one to reach both women, he knelt down quickly, Kabuto following right behind him.

"Quick, her pressure is dropping," was all Orochimaru said as he took Guren from Anko's arms and helped Kabuto stabilize the young woman.

"What was she thinking?" berated Kabuto under his breath as his hands glowed green against Guren's chest, and though he and Guren always argued and bantered with each other, and though he felt angry at his adoptive sibling's actions and he felt just as relieved to have arrived on time.

Orochimaru instructed Kabuto on what to do afterwards, before standing up and heading out of the cave letting the other teens know what happened, ordering them to go back home and wait for their return. Anko followed right after her sensei, once outside she stopped a few steps away from him and spoke,

"Guren…"

"So many months, a year or two, looking for her and this is where she has been?"

"…Oro-"

"Once she is fully awake she will have the lecture of her life. Next time I will lock her up and tie her to bed," he stated flatly, turning around to walk past Anko, not before placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze, before whispering to her, "to prevent her from pulling a stunt like that again, that is."

Anko watched her sensei go, and smiled slightly, glad to know that Orochimaru wouldn't shun Guren after finding her. She followed after him and helped with carrying back the light blue haired woman back to Otogakure.

By the time Guren opened her eyes, she didn't know whether she was alive or dead. When she tried to lift her hand to clutch her head, it was stopped by something. That something turned out to be no other than Anko Mitarashi, sitting down by her bed, soundly asleep and holding onto her hand tightly. Guren felt the corner of her lips pull, and she squeezed back the hand.

Guren settled for fate: fate brought back the one person her heart wished to see least once.

Guren was brought back from her musing by the sound of the door opening, and through it came the same man she had run away from. Guren's eyes quickly casted downwards and waited…and waited for…for something, anything that could let Guren know of Orochimaru's disappointment in her. All she got was him sitting by her bed, and picking up the other empty hand. She looked up and met those toxic amber eyes that held nothing but a mix of concern and anger.

"Oro-"

"You are the most misbehaved child I have ever had to take care of, and that's saying something since Anko is usually the one who's stubborn and Jugo rarely listens. Don't think I'll approve of you two dating anytime soon either, your punishment for leaving us comes first," chided the long haired male, eyes stern as he regarded the woman. Guren blinked back at him, perplexed and speechless. Orochimaru had to roll his eyes at that, he prides himself over the fact that all the children he has and has taught over the years, always turn to be quite intelligent and natural learners, but sometimes he had to question whether these kids knew of common sense and how to be a functional member of society; Guren's dumbfounded state just managed to prove to him that his children really don't know how to roll in life.

He sighed and softened his look, patting Guren's hand, "I'm glad you're finally back with us Guren. For now focus on getting better, we'll figure out what I can punish you with later once you're on your feet," he stated, standing up and heading for the door.

"Orochimaru-sama!" called Guren instinctively.

"Yes?"

"I-…is just…you see…"

"Guren."

Guren looked up to meet his eyes once more and this time they showed her warmth, amusement and aggravation all together, or at least that's what Guren could perceive from the pale man.

"Let's talk once you feel better, for now worry about Anko, she might hurt you in her attempt to welcome you back," was all he said and quietly closed the door behind him.

"He says it like I don't know my own strength," commented Anko without missing a beat, still holding onto Guren's hand. Guren looked back at Anko who only beamed at her happily, standing up to place a knee on the mattress and lean in to give her a hug.

"Welcome back moron," whispered Anko against the blue hair she has come to love so much, especially after finding out that she might not have been able to see it anymore.

"I…why did you…how did you…why come back for me?" settled for Guren as she tried to process the other's actions.

"Why wouldn't we? You're family, and Orochimaru wouldn't have forgiven himself for letting you die by yourself, not when he knows you have people waiting for you," stated Anko, withdrawing from the fair skinned woman, smiling as Guren just stared back in astonishment.

"I…really?"

"Yes of course!"

"But I…I failed…I failed Orochimaru-sama," stated Guren, defeated. At this Anko frowned and pulled on Guren's cheek, earning a protesting cry from the woman and a glare.

"And? Is this what seriously made you give up? Orochimaru couldn't have cared, as long as it meant having you back for dinner!"

"But I-"

"No 'buts' but the one that will have to hurry and get better. Seriously, for being the calculating one out of all of us, you sure are stupid."

"I'm not stupid," retorted back Guren, glaring at the dark purple haired woman before her. Anko just laughed and repeated her last insult.

"But seriously, you got us worried. We have been looking for you…I had been looking for you and I'm glad I found you on time."

"Anko…I…thanks," said Guren quietly, holding the other's warm brown gaze with her own dark eyes. Anko leaned back on her hands, and started to update her on everything that had transpired since her departure.

"You know…out of all of us, you have been quite strong willed. You survived through your parents, your village's shunning, the Clan Head of that village, the destruction of it, the radical change you faced once you joined us, you then became stronger, and added an additional support beam to the home we have created here in Otogakure. I, I respect you for that, that's why I couldn't let you just leave without a reasonable explanation…I'm just thankful we got there on time," concluded Anko softly, looking up to meet the dark eyes of Guren once again. Anko reached for a loose strand of hair and tucked behind Guren's ear, before leaning in further and planting a soft kiss against the woman's chapped lips. Guren returned the gesture, shy and clumsy, too contrasting with the fair skinned woman's personality and demeanor. When she pulled back Guren looked back at her, searching her face for something, so Anko smiled.

"I love you," said Anko, and watched as Guren blinked before getting flustered.

"Idiot, stop saying that so carelessly!" chided Guren, cheeks bright red as she avoided the other's warm brown eyes; Anko laughed zealously.

"Does that mean you want me to woo you before I can ask for your hand to Orochimaru?"

"I…no that's not…God Anko, stop!"

"Fine, I'll woo you. I should probably start looking for some nice gifts for you, a ring, maybe make up since you always doll-up!" Anko continued to list the things she would be getting for Guren, while Guren just sat there embarrassed, but also ridiculously happy.

"Sorry to interrupt your little love scene, but dinner is ready and we are all coming here to eat," stated Suigetsu as he came in on the two women.

"We won't fit here," answered Guren flatly.

"We'll make it fit then!" declared Anko, standing up to follow Suigetsu to help bring in their food and the bean bags to sit on. Much to Guren's aggravation everyone did manage to fit and sit to eat with her, even Orochimaru followed through with their plan. She really felt lucky to have such a family, they're all weird and eccentric, but that's what made it special, and Orochimaru gave them the means, the setting and the much needed emotional support for them to continue striving in the Shinobi world.

"I toast for our family!" said Suigetsu cheerily, raisin his cup of juice, the others following suit and cheering, "To having Guren back!"

"To having Guren back!"

"To Anko's and Guren's future wedding!"

"To Anko's and Guren's future wedding!"

"To Orochimaru-sama!"

"To Orochimaru-sama!" repeated the teens happily as they raised their glasses to the sky.

"To the brats I came across of," spoke up Orochimaru, hearing as the teens cheered and repeated after him before breaking into a fit of indignant protests and complains.

"To the brats," said Guren quietly against her glass and smiled when Orochimaru turned to give her a knowing smirk.

She should be broken.

She should have stayed down.

She shouldn't even be alive.

But, she didn't…

She almost had…

But in the end she had been stopped and her mind came back to life and fought back against the odds. Guren is glad that for once her stubbornness helped her go back to the place she belongs, the place she can genuinely call home.