Chapter one

Roach was playing around on the Captain's laptop. Soap was busy doing something. Roach had forgotten what he said due to being excited about finally accessing the internet. First, Roach had to check his email.

It was the usual. Loving emails from his friends, parents and girlfriend back at home. He responded to all of them. Then he checked Facebook. He responded to posts, liked, and accepted (or ignored) friend requests.

Roach pondered what he could do next… Oh yes, check out some fan fiction. He heard they made a videogame based on his (and other people's) experiences. Roach was extremely giddy. He couldn't wait for the fan fictions to portray him as an awesome BADASS!

Unfortunately… that wasn't the case. Roach was portrayed a… PUSSY. He was frequently shipped with Ghost and Soap. Roach could of pulled his hair out from the ignorance- no- STUPIDY of these fans. He was the most badass of all his team! Modern warfare 2 portrayed him correctly! Why couldn't fans learn the RIGHT way?

And he was STRAIGHT. Not that there was anything wrong about being gay. It still bothered Roach that he was being portrayed as a pussy. He had epic accuracy and speed. Well… most of the fan fics took place out of combat. But still, Roach knew more about sex than anyone else. And he only had it in the butt once with his girlfriend (she had a strapped-on-toy, mind you). She had in the butt (LOL, Roach giggled at the thought, she liked that kind of thing Ooolalala) with him a lot. Roach almost threw the laptop on the floor in frustration.

"Yo Roach, wanna go piss of Gh- Whatcha look at buddy? Porn?" Meat walked in.

"Oh, Meat, look at this… shit. Meat, you're probably going to never going to let this go," Roach rolled his eyes. He wished he was looking at porn. Big mistake when Meat sees anything remotely funny.

"What is it Roach. Oh. OHHHH! Fan fiction of us! And what's this? GhostxRoach, GhostxSoap, RoachxSoap, SoapxGhostxRoach! LOL!"

"Shut your trap Meat…"

"Wait till' I tell everyone!"

"Oh one thing Meat, there's fan fic of y- nevermind," Roach stopped midsentence. He would have sweet revenge later on.

"Uh.. okay, see ya later!"

Roach held his head in his hands. Soap was the only badass in these stories. Ghost was almost badass material. Roach wasn't even close to badass. Gary decided to let off his anger at the fans in the gym.


"Hey Roach, could you stop punching that punching bag. It's really loud. And why is there a picture of a preteen girl on there? Roach, you're probably going to be taken away by child-"

"Shut it Royce"

Roach continued punching the punching bag. It helped. A lot. He felt like grabbing anyone. Anyone. Then punch the living daylights out of them. Maybe he could dunk Worm's head in the toilet again. It was a very comforting method.


Soap had received the package. He wondered what was inside. Mactavish was about to open it when Meat yelled "Oi, SOAP SEE THIS!"

Mactavish threw the package on to the table. Was Royce and Roach fucking around with the coffee machine again? Maybe the contents of the package were a new coffee machine. Perhaps someone who could see the future was nice enough to send a spare coffee machine. Soap sighed as he followed Meat to the office.

There everybody was huddled over his laptop screen. Roach, who looked furious, was hunched over the screen. A loud clack and click sound could be heard from the laptop.

"…and send!"

"Roach, what are you doing?"

"Oh just typing up some furious reviews…"

"Because they made him look like a pussy!" Meat blurted out.

"Shut it Meat," Roach mumbled. He was red. Not blushing red but furious red. Had Meat not learned to not piss off Roach?

"Uh… let's listen to music…" Worm said in a hushed tone.

"Agreed," Everyone said in unison.

Worm flicked out his ipod. He pulled out the plug. It was playing Poker Face.

"Worm… why Lady Gaga?" Inquired Roach.

"Well… she's awesome…" A blush grew over his tan face. Worm's bangs fell softly over his face.

"Um… yeah she is…" Royce muttered back.

"Let's sing along then!" A wide grin grew on Ghost's face.

Task force 141 proceed to sing along. Poke-her-face!

"Who wants Telephone?"

All hands shot up. Surprisingly, Archer made a good Beyoncé impression. Worm decided to mix things up and played I kissed a girl. Of course, this made everyone laugh. Toad's voice was the loudest of all (when singing along). Archer gave him a playful nudge. A luminescent blush grew over the American's face.

"Um… is this what I was called for?" Soap scratched his head. He didn't need to be called for a sing along.

"Oh yeah, it's this…" Roach opened up the internet browser and head over the fan fiction (dot ) net. He selected the games category. His tired eyes scanned the list.

"Halo… Mass Effect, Gears of war…. Oh, here it is!" He clicked on Call of Duty.

"Hey that's us!" Chemo exclaimed.

"No shit, dumbass," Roach elbowed Chemo. Chemo yelped. Roach told him to shut it. He was getting closer to… that monstrosity of a section.

Worm put on Blow. He sang along to Ke$ha's catchy lyrics.

"THIS PLACE ABOUT TO BL-OH-OH-OH-OW" Screeched his tone deaf voice.

Everyone begged at him to shut up. And so Worm did. His soft curly black hair was messed up again when Soap patted it. It took him ten minutes to gel it!

"Soap! You ruined my hair!"

"Just get it shaved off," Gary pointed to his close cropped hair. Something the fans couldn't get right either.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT." Soap yelped as he noticed a GhostxSoapxRoach threesome story on the laptop screen.

"Um… a threesome," Roach muttered. His eyes were closed and eyebrows scrunched up.

"It's very… sweet and disturbing," Stated Ghost. He stared at the wall, with his head not facing the team. Soap was sure he was blushing.

"There's a lot of blushing in these stories," Meat murmured. He was blushing as well. Did everyone in 141 blush (excluding Roach and Soap)?

"Well, first off, I'm straight," Declared Roach. "Not that there's anything wrong about being gay,"

"Oh really, Gary?" Royce face was a little flushed.

"Yep, and now let's explain this sexual intercourse…"


30 minutes later…

"…It's also called the climax. It typically lasts around 30 seconds for woman and for m- HEY WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

Archer threw a pillow at Roach. Wait- where did he get a pillow? What the hell?

"I think that was enough talking," Ozone quietly said. He was blushing too…

"Agreed," Rocket pulled his hoodie over his head. MORE BLUSHING.

"Let's continue um… reading," Roach spoke up. He was probably confused too at his fellow soldiers blushing.

"Hey, finally a story with original FEMALE characters,"

"Who are they paired with?" Ghost asked. He hoped it was him.

"Oh… Soap and Ghost," Roach's face was deeply disappointed.

Worm played some dubstep. Finally something that made Roach feel a lot better about these STUPID fans.

"You guys blush so much…" Roach bluntly stated.

"T-t-that's not true," Stammered Meat. His face reddened. Good lord.

"Most of these fics pair us three (Roach, Ghost me) but there are couple that pair… the other guys on our team," Soap pointed out. A wide smirk grew on his face.

MORE BLUSHING!

"The fan girls love us," Roach relaxed in the chair.


(AN: Sorry if I offended anyone. I didn't mean to. Just trying to imagine what 141's reaction to CoD Fan fiction. ;D )