Seeker of the Soul: The Castanos Case Interview

Author's Note: This story makes reference to the season one episode "Get Houston". Hopefully it will answer a few questions. Enjoy! **Immediately follows "Package Deal"**

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you."
Friedrich Nietzsche,
Beyond Good and Evil

PROLOGUE

August 23, 2013

CJ, now carrying Catey Rose in her arms, stepped out on the patio to see where her husband had gone, and was followed by Sheila and Lamar. In a moment they were joined by Bo who had just headed up to the house from the bunkhouse. He glanced back down the hill at his boss, and gestured over his shoulder at him. "Is he mad about something?" He had tried to talk to Matt but had been shut down.

Watching as her husband climbed the fence and slid onto the back of Cricket and started off through the pastures, CJ sighed. "I need to tell you all what happened while we were gone…but I would advise you not to say anything to him about it." They sat down at the table on the patio and CJ told them about the deaths of the Montoya brothers.

"Well they had it coming." Although he was surprised by how Matt had killed the second brother, Bo didn't see any reason for Houston to be upset by it.

"Yes, they did, but…" She looked back down toward the pasture as Matt was disappearing from sight over a hill. "The whole thing has brought back some memories from his time in the Army that he would rather not remember. You boys weren't around Matt when he first got back from the Army. He, uh…well, he had some problems."

Sheila, whose recently deceased husband had been in the Marine Corps for twenty years nodded. "It happens quite a bit. But he's been okay until…" She stopped.

"…Until he snapped Montoya's neck with a move that he used during the war." CJ finished the sentence for her. "I need y'all to know what happened before so that you can kind of help me and keep an eye on him."

"Matt and I graduated from Rice in 2001. He headed off to basic training in the Army and I headed for Harvard and law school." She looked down at her hands and smiled. "He and I had a little disagreement about him joining up. I tried to talk him out of it, but Matt was determined that he was going to join up and pay his dues: said he felt like he had been very lucky in his life and wanted to do his part. Of course at the time, there were rumors of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and the US and its allies had already tangled with Hussein and his army before. He knew that but it didn't make any difference."

Leaning back in the chair she looked at Bo and Lamar. "Matt and I never really argued until he told me at the beginning of his senior year in college what he was planning. I thought he had forgotten about the Army and was going to play pro football or baseball. He had scouts and teams watching him since he was a freshman in high school. But he hadn't forgotten. He said it was his duty to serve." CJ shook her head and smiled. "Boy, did we get into an argument. I wouldn't speak to him for three days, and when I did I told him that he was a fool to throw everything away just to go in the Army. You know, I'll never forget the look on his face. He looked so hurt. But we decided that we would agree to disagree and I secretly hoped that he would change his mind before graduation. Obviously, that didn't happen."

"The day that he left for basic at Fort Benning, I felt totally alone for the first time in almost thirteen years. We had spent almost every day together from the time we were ten up until he left that day. The minute I saw that plane take off…" She stopped for a minute and shook her head, then gave a sad smile. "I was scared that I had lost my best friend forever."

"Aw, CJ you knew he wouldn't forget about you. Come on." Bo couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I know it sounds silly, Bo, but we counted on each other a lot, even back then. When Bill got the standard "I made it here and everything is fine" letter that the recruits have to write home, he showed it to me. We both laughed. Bill told me that was word for word the same letter that he had been made to write when he had joined up."

"When Matt got the opportunity to call home, he told his dad that he was headed to Fort Huachuca in Arizona. That's where the Intelligence training is done."

"He was the cream of the crop, then." Sheila nodded. "You don't get there without being extremely good at everything in basic – and I mean everything." She looked at CJ.

"Since he was used to playing competitive sports, the physical part of basic was pretty much a walk in the park for him…not that he didn't get tired, but he knew he could get through it after so much training and conditioning for football and baseball – eighteen years' worth. So all he really had to concentrate on were the other skills, which made life a lot easier for him. Bill and I went to his graduation from basic and got to spend the afternoon and night with him, but he had to fly out the next day for Arizona. With all of the problems going on at that time, we didn't get to see him again until he graduated about eighteen weeks later, and then he was on his way to Special Forces Training. He was still Matt, but there was a difference in him, even then. We only got to spend a day and a night with him because they were in a hurry to get his training finished. I didn't know it until after he left and Bill told me, but his training wasn't normal…or at least what they tell the public. When Bill was in, the Army was looking for warm bodies on the ground more than anything else. But he knew of some people that had been groomed from the first day of basic to do what Matt was doing." She looked around to make sure that Roy wasn't coming outside. "Roy was in the Navy, but he was the same as Matt; from day one, they were grooming him for the CIA…and that's exactly what they wanted Matt for…and the fact that Roy was there was just another bonus for them. They figured that Matt would follow in his footsteps."

"But that didn't happen." Sheila knew a little bit about what CJ was referring to: the CIA was always recruiting from the armed forces.

"No. But they tried, that's for sure. When Matt got through with the rest of his training he finally got leave…but only for a week. Bill flew me in from school so that we could spend some time together. He was convinced even then that we should get married."

"And he was right on target, too." Lamar grinned.

"When Matt stepped off of the plane we had a big surprise: he was a sergeant. He hadn't told either one of us, but then he wasn't writing much either. We just thought there was a change in him the last time we saw him. When we spotted him coming through the terminal, it was like there was…I don't know…a wall, a force-field around him. It's hard to explain. He was in plain sight but it was like he was completely invisible to anyone but us. That sounds crazy…"

"But it's true." Roy had slipped out of the house and heard the last part of CJ's story. He walked over and sat down with them, slipping an arm around her shoulders. "That was part of his training. It's hard to explain, but a lot of it has to do with mindset." No one said a word. Bo and Lamar had worked at Bill's ranch when Matt was a teenager and remembered how wild he was back then. He had been a good kid, but always had a wild streak. They looked at each other.

"I saw part of Matt's training. He had no idea I was there. Of course I'm not supposed to talk about it but I'm old and maybe I'm forgetful. He was good…no, he was better than good. He was the best – the one that the CIA wanted in the fold. See, Matt graduated first in every aspect of every level of his training – without fail. He had all the top scores." He rubbed CJ's shoulder and pulled her closer. "All he needed at that point was experience – and he got plenty of that in Iraq…and then Afghanistan. Mission after mission after mission. Each one got more involved and more secretive. And Bill had a feeling about what was going on…and he didn't like it one bit."

"Matt was injured so many times…like his very first mission." He felt CJ begin to shake and rubbed her shoulders. "He and his team were sent in to try to talk to one of the war lords. Matt didn't speak Arabic, but there was an interpreter with him. When they first arrived there, Matt balked at going into the area, a sort of a plaza with only one way in and out – but he had his orders. They went in and talked to the man with no problem and received his word that he would cooperate with them by giving them information that they needed. Matt told his commanding officer later that he had a feeling that the war lord was lying through his teeth and he was right. As they were leaving the area they were attacked. There were seven men in the squad; one by one, they were picked off. Matt was shot four times: once in the left shoulder, twice in the left side, and once in the right thigh. He was stabbed seven times, his left forearm was broken and he had two broken ribs. They came at the squad with everything from rifles to knives to table legs."

"How do you know all of this?" Lamar couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Because I was working as an analyst at the time when the footage was sent to my section. All of the men in the squad were wearing helmet cams. It was our job to link all the footage up and find out what really happened. Because by the time it was over, every one of the men with Matt was dead – and he wasn't far from it." There was shocked silence around the table.

"I heard his voice when they first started the footage…and I've got to tell you I damn near passed out…it was that bad. By the time Matt's backup got there, he was the only one left standing and was protecting the bodies of the others…the insurgents would, and still do, absolutely mutilate the bodies and he wasn't going to let that happen to his men. When backup got there, he was alive and on his feet and there was one other man alive. The insurgents backed off and the men were quickly loaded onto a truck. They said as soon as Matt's butt hit the bed of the truck he was out…and they all thought he was dead until they got back to the compound and started to unload the bodies and he came to and started trying to move." Sheila was in tears as was CJ. "He ended up stateside at Walter Reed…for almost three months."

"But I don't understand what that's got to do with what happened in Florida." Bo leaned forward with his arms on the table.

"Remember I told you about the footage?" Roy looked across at the ranch hand who nodded. "Matt killed almost one hundred insurgents that day – about thirty with his rifle, over fifty with his knife and whatever else he could get his hands on…," he paused, "…and fifteen with his bare hands – by snapping their necks." There was complete silence. Roy started to tear up a little bit.

"Uncle Roy, you shouldn't be talking about this…or even thinking about it..." CJ reached for his hand.

"No, you all need to know so you can understand why he's acting like he is right now." Roy calmed down. "When you take a life it changes you. But when you take that many lives at once – and you witnessed what he did…it's a lot like what the forces at D-day dealt with. That's about as close as I can get to make you understand." He paused for a minute, looking up to see if Matt was back yet. When he saw that he wasn't, Roy continued. "I got to go see him when he was recovering. It was tough, not just seeing him in so much pain, but remembering the little boy he used to be, always wanting piggyback rides when I came to Bill's house…" He teared up again. "That boy was gone…and I was afraid we would never get him back at all."

Bo and Lamar looked at each other. The Matt they had always known had been a kind-hearted practical joker who loved to make people laugh. They couldn't imagine that he had been through all of that.

"But he recovered and went on back to doing what he did best: investigate and gather intelligence. He was sent to OCS school to become an officer, and of course like everything else, he graduated first in his class and that's when he got his Lieutenant's bars. By his last year in, Matt was a captain and he and Will were in the same unit. They were pinned down in the rubble of a building trying to take cover when it was hit by several rounds of RPG's. Part of a wall collapsed on Matt and he was knocked out. When he came to Will was gone and the three other members of their team were dead. He blamed himself for Will being taken prisoner."

CJ took up the story. "When Matt was discharged, he started drinking on the plane to Germany, then on the plane to New York, and spent a couple of hours at a bar in the airport during a layover. He passed out on the flight to Houston and came to just a few minutes before it landed. He kept drinking at the party Bill threw for him and we had a fight about it." She wiped at a tear. "That night when he left…" She shook her head. "Anyway, he was gone for a month – drunk. When he came home Bill…well, let's just say that between the two of us we got him sobered up. He spent a month out on one of the toughest oil platforms in the Gulf drying out. When he came back he was okay for the most part, but there were times when the memories would almost overwhelm him. He hasn't done anything like that since…exactly…but we need to keep an eye on him."

CHAPTER 1

Present day…

CJ watched as he rode through the pasture on the Buckskin stallion Jasper, coming back from moving the herd to another area of the ranch nestled in the Santa Monica Mountains. Though not anywhere near as big as the ranch in Houston, Texas, Matt had maintained a herd over the years since he had first bought the property. Compared to the Texas herd it was insignificant – except to Matt who often rode through on horseback just to get out and have time to think by himself. She watched as the man that she had known as a boy of ten on up – now thirty five years old – seemed to be one with the horse that he had trained just a short time ago. Time with the horses and cows was therapy for him - oftentimes much needed - to help him recuperate mentally from all of the pain, misery, and downright evil that he dealt with on an almost daily basis. Each move he made - from saddling the horse to herding and working the herd - had been learned from a young age, the repetition and routine comforting to a mind that was often stretched to its limits with not only the day-to-day of family life, but his jobs as private investigator, adviser to the LAPD and the Fire Marshal, as well as to the FBI, ATF, and DEA and most recently as a Detective Sergeant with the Harris County Sheriff's Department. The work he did with computer guru Derwin Dunlap, while not putting him in danger, still took a toll on his energy. CJ was often asked by those around them how he found time to do all that he did and she could honestly answer that she had no idea – but he did.

As he reached the near end of the pasture that bordered the barn, the cowboy leaned down and opened the gate, quietly talking to the group of horses gathered there, each one seeking attention from the man that they belonged to and who cared for them. In the center of the throng was Cricket - the Red Sorrel that had been Matt's first baby. CJ smiled as she watched the mare rub her head on both the cowboy and the stallion on which he rode. Jasper was Cricket's mate and the pair was expecting a foal in the early fall. Not one to be denied, the mare got the attention she was seeking and followed beside the pair as they neared the barn, the rest of the horses in the pasture following in their wake. He disappeared from her view for a moment as he walked through the barn with the stallion but reappeared and began removing the saddle, blanket, and bridle that the horse had been wearing. After they were put away, he brushed him down and then walked back out to the pasture, the horse following behind him like a dog just as Cricket did. After closing the gate and giving the horses another round of pats and rubs, he turned and headed up to the house, swatting with the white straw cowboy hat at his pant legs to dislodge the dust he had acquired while moving the cattle, a cloud billowing up around his tall frame. At 6'3" he could be a criminal's worst nightmare; to one year old Catherine Rose Houston he was Daddy. As he looked up and spotted CJ on the patio, a large smile covered his face. "Been spying on me, Lil Mama?"

"Nope – just watching." She tilted her head back as he kissed her, his hand rubbing her belly that held the twin boys they were expecting. "Giorgio will be here in about forty five minutes."

"Yeah…" He sat down at the table for a minute, his gaze drifting first down to the horses in the pasture and then the hills beyond them that eventually ended in the Pacific Ocean.

"Hon…it's your business…but are you sure you want to do the interview?" She reached over putting her hand on top of his. He held onto it as he nodded.

"Yeah. I think it's time." Looking up into her hazel eyes he saw the worry. "I'm okay, Babe."

"As long as you're sure."

"I am." He stood up. "Besides, I've been putting Giorgio off for years now." Giving her a smile he leaned over and kissed her again. "Gonna go hit the shower." He went on in through the kitchen and the strangely quiet house. Their nanny, Sheila Wentworth, had taken Catey Rose on a picnic along with the Houstons' adopted teenage son Tomás to keep them out from under foot. Catey's constant companion and guardian – Tilly, the half Blue Heeler/ half Husky – was with them as well.

Stripping out of his clothes, Matt thought about the reason for the interview and the reasons why it had taken him so long to agree to do it. It had been almost ten years. Ten years used to seem like a long time to him, but these days it was a mere drop in the bucket. As he climbed in under the steaming hot water and allowed it to flow over him, he thought back to a time that he had tried to forget for so long. He had finally reached a point where he felt like he could talk about what had happened all those years ago, felt like he had made peace with it and the subsequent events that had nearly cost him not only his own life, but that of ranch hand Bo Harper as well as CJ.

When he emerged from the shower he caught sight of himself, the tattoo on his chest reflecting in the mirror. A lot had changed in ten years; he had changed dramatically, more so in the last four years than he had ever thought possible. Those changes were for the better, no doubt. He went on into the bedroom and began pulling out fresh clothes - a pair of jeans, a white button down collar shirt, and his favorite pair of cowboy boots. As he began to slide on the boots he stopped and looked at them. His dad had given him the boots when he was a sophomore in college and from that day on they were his favorite. He missed Bill Houston. The man who had adopted him when he was just a baby had passed away a few years before; some days the ache was nearly overwhelming but just when he thought he couldn't stand the loss he would hear Bill's voice in the back of his head, always calm, always reassuring, just like it had been when he was alive...well, with the exception of a short period of time when they hadn't seen eye to eye.

Entering the kitchen he found CJ double-checking her preparations for Giorgio Stavros and his crew that would be filming the interview. "Need some help?"

"Nope – I think that's it." She turned and gave him a smile as she surveyed him from head to toe. "I knew you were going to wear those boots."

"They're lucky – what can I say?" He took her by the hand and went back out on the patio sitting down with her on the swing that he had built. It wasn't long until his phone rang and Lamar let him know that he had just let Stavros and his crew through the security gate at the end of the driveway. After thanking his long-time ranch hand he hung up. As he squeezed CJ's hand once again, he looked back toward the mountains, a faint touch of unease passing over his features.

"Hon, you could always tell him you changed your mind." CJ's voice was very soft, almost inaudible.

"No…I told him I would do it." Always a man of his word, Houston took a deep breath and let it out slowly before looking up to see the van that was approaching. "Don't reckon they'll slather me with makeup, do ya?" Looking up into her eyes, his own twinkling with humor, he gave her the smile that always made her heart flutter. For twenty five years he had had that effect on her and remained completely oblivious to the fact.

"Nah…but if they do I'm gonna get a picture and send it to Vince and Michael." The lawyer-turned-PI laughed – a sound that Matt never grew tired of and treasured even more than ever before.

"I might have to sue you."

"Doubt it – your lawyer won't take the case." She stuck her tongue out at him before they both stood up and walked over to welcome the guests.

A man of about fifty with dark hair graying at the temples and olive-colored skin that gave away his Greek heritage, emerged from the front seat of the van, the smile that lit his face nearly contagious. "Houston, how are you? And CJ – you're the picture of beauty."

"Only if you find whales attractive." The lawyer laughed as she rubbed her baby bump.

"Nonsense – a woman with child is always the most beautiful." Giorgio shook hands with both. "So Houston…" He looked around the ranch. "Where is the lovely little girl you told me about?"

"She's on a picnic." Matt pulled out his phone and handed it over to the reporter. "That's her playmate Tilly and our adopted son Tomás."

"You really have settled down. You two make beautiful babies together." He studied the picture and looked at the couple. "She looks much like her father but has her mother's eyes. A beautiful child, indeed." Turning to his right he introduced a woman of about Matt's age with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. "Allow me to introduce Kristen MacDonald, my producer. And these two here are Jon Brigham and Luis Lopez, our sound engineer and camera man."

"Nice to meet you." Matt and CJ shook hands with the three.

"We have been blessed with beautiful weather today." Stavros looked around once again. "It would be a shame to waste. What do you think about filming out here?" He looked to the crew who all three nodded their agreement. "Is that acceptable to you, my friend?"

"That's fine – whatever you want."

"Perfect. We'll let them get things arranged as they need and maybe we can talk a little bit." He followed as Matt led the way over to the swing. Made from oak, it was about ten feet long and cushioned with denim material. "This must be a Texas-sized swing."

"You could say that. There are two more of them at the ranch in Houston." The three sat down, Matt with his arm around CJ's shoulders.

"Very nice. I must say I was surprised when you agreed to the interview, Houston. After all the times I've asked over the years and you've turned me down each and every time; I thought that you would surely say no once again. But I'm very pleased that you did not."

"It felt like the time was right." He rubbed his wife's arm as she took his right hand in hers.

"I'm glad. People really have no idea of the horrendous acts that Emil Castanos perpetrated; they need to know."

"I've seen reports about him on the internet but they don't know how bad it really was." Matt's voice was quiet.

"But you and I know the truth. Now, I intend to make this as easy as possible. I'll ask a few questions to get you started but this will be your story, my friend." He saw the cowboy look nervously at the cameras that were being set up. "Ignore the cameras: pretend that it is just you and myself talking. Pay them no mind."

"Easy for you to say." Matt chuckled. "So how do you like working for an American network?"

"Oh, what can I say? America is a land of freedom, of many opportunities; but with those comes great responsibility. Sadly enough not every reporter understands that."

"Sounds like he's seen Tamara Placer." CJ gave Matt's hand a squeeze.

"Unfortunately I have – a terrible reporter more concerned with appearances than telling the truth." The visitor gave a big laugh. "Many times I have seen you giving her…what is the expression? Down the road?"

"More like giving her hell." CJ snickered and all three shared a laugh.

"You two can see right through her act. It is a pity and a shame that more viewers cannot. I fear she is better suited for a tabloid than a true news outlet."

"We call her the Piranha." Matt shook his head.

"A true observation: she feeds on the disturbances that she causes."

"Giorgio – we're almost ready. Jon needs to hook up a mic for Mr. Houston and we'll see how he'll look under the lights." Kristen MacDonald held up a microphone. "We need to run the wire up the back of your shirt and clip this on your belt."

"Alright." He untucked the shirt and the sound engineer quickly set the microphone up and after a quick test to make sure all was working, the producer turned to Stavros.

"Okay Giorgio – we're ready if you two are."

"My friend?" He looked to Houston.

"Ready as I'll ever be…"

"We checked the light levels while you were on the swing, Mr. Houston, and they're just fine if that's where you would be most comfortable." Luis the camera man motioned to where he had been sitting previously.

"Sure – but just call me Houston, would ya?"

"Yes sir."

"Have a seat my friend while Kristen tries to make an old man look good one more time."

"Don't be so dramatic, Giorgio. You could give some of these Hollywood hunks a run for their money." She gave CJ a wink as she dabbed a bit of makeup on his nose. "Perfect as always. I love working with him – absolutely no ego." Turning back to the reporter she straightened his tie. "Have a seat here and Luis will move the cameras into position." She saw the question in Matt's eyes before he even asked. "Luis can control both cameras from the computer there. Once we get them into position we're all set. It's less distracting that way."

CJ took a seat in one of the patio chairs back behind the film crew. "You know Mama always said you should have been a movie star." She gave Matt a wink and a dazzling smile, knowing that he was nervous no matter how calm he tried to appear.

"The next Clark Gable, hey?" Stavros feigned a serious expression. "But the beard would have to go."

"Nope. I'm not cut out to be a movie star, but CJ now…she's a whole other story." He gave his wife a big smile.

"We're ready on the sound." Jon nodded at Kristen.

"Okay Maestro – whenever you're ready."