A/N: Pure fluff, written for a one hour challenge. I think it turned out rather well given the time limit, but damn are my poor hands sore ;_;

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There are two sides to every story.


"Sesshoumaru-sama, I'm hungry!"

There she goes again, the little pest—she's "hungry". And I just know we'll stop and wait for her to stuff herself, like we always do…I swear, the child needs to learn something of self-control. My master can hardly afford to answer to her childish whims all the time...there is occasionally this thing called "battle". My master is a busy demon, and we must constantly fight for his position in the world. Not that Lord Sesshoumaru would be hindered by her presence, of course. He could trod on her himself and he wouldn't bat an eyelash—it wouldn't be like him to show concern for a mere human in front of a challenger.

Besides, he'd probably just revive her later.

Sure enough, the master has halted, which is my cue to ask him what he needs. And of course, he's going to tell me to watch over the girl and get her some food.

Correction. He wants me to watch over the girl, get her some food, and help her ford the river while he flirts with—I mean, has a discussion—with Kagura. Not that I would ever think my master would stoop low enough to have a relationship with that double-crossing feather woman. He'll use her and dump her…she has no fashion sense.

Regardless, the dragon's reins are in my claws now, so I suppose it's time to get moving.

"Come on, girl!" I call out, urging the human to scramble into the saddle. "We don't have all day!"

Did she just give me a nasty look? For moment, her cheerful countenance has been replaced by something decidedly unpleasant.

"I don't wanna leave Sesshoumaru-sama!" she protests, and kicks the dragon in the leg. Ah-Un grunts faintly, but like everyone else around here, fails to react to her impudent display. If I'd done that, I'd be a smear on the grass.

"And cut that out!" I growl, tugging on Ah-Un's reins. She flops over on the saddle, complaining some more, but at least she isn't staring at me. Those beady little eyes of hers…

You see, Rin is trying to kill me.

My master doesn't seem to believe it, but I know she is—I'd swear it on my eggshell. There's just too many "accidents" that happen when we're alone for it to be a coincidence. Like the Saimyoushou nest we found the other day…she says the hive fell on my head when Ah-Un bumped the tree trunk, but I know I saw her swinging a stick at it. And that snake demon she invited home for tea! She said she had no idea they prey on frog demons, but I'm pretty sure I heard her asking if it would mind having "Jaken come for dinner". Hmph.

Sometimes I wish the master would notice these things, but he doesn't even seem to comprehend the minor grievances…he stares at her indulgently when she kicks me and doesn't even reprimand her when she steals my staff! There really is no justice in the world when an old frog can't have his walking stick. And if I try and do anything about it, Lord Sesshoumaru punishes me instead! Of course, it isn't his fault. I'm sure she has him under some sort of human voodoo spell—why else would he concern himself with such a troublesome wench? The minute I get rid of her, that will all change…blood and gore, just like the old days. None of this pansy child-rearing business! We'll travel through the wild territories again, just the master and I, and find some real excitement. The vicious throngs of horn-beasts, angry kitsune, diabolical--

"Here, Jaken-sama, watermelon!"

Yes, and the diabolical watermelon, dangerous orbs of—OW!

"RIN! Stop throwing things!"

"Yes, Jaken-sama."

Hmph, watermelon indeed…although those certainly could be deadly, given my frail old bones. Is it just me, or has her aim gotten better? I'm sure she couldn't have tossed a fruit of that size at my head just a few weeks ago. Curse the creature, she's getting stronger. I may have to start wearing a helmet.

She gives a cutesy smile and dashes toward the shattered remains of the watermelon, but I somehow doubt it was really her intention to break the thing open on the staff of heads. If I hadn't taken evasive action, that fruit would have broken ME open instead.

"Mmm, you should try some, Jaken-sama!" She smacks her lips and sinks her sharp teeth into the fruity flesh. The sticky juice spilling over her lips looks almost like blood, and I shudder involuntarily. Would she have eaten me too, had she accomplished her goal? I briefly picture her crouched over my fallen form, scooping my brains out with her tiny fingers.

"I don't want your stinking human food!" I mutter and take a few cautious steps away from her. She smiles ghoulishly after me, her teeth clamped around strings of pink watermelon-flesh.

Helmet. Definitely need a helmet. And maybe an ax or something.

"Hey Jaken, what's that?" the girl asks suddenly, tilting her head toward the tree line.

"What's what?" I sigh, but follow her gaze dutifully. I know she expects me to. "I don't see anything."

"Huh. Guess it was nothing." she remarks, and turns back to her watermelon innards. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Oh, it's this game again… "leap when I say Jaken!". She asks some stupid question, I look, she says she didn't see anything, then she does it again. Repeat ad nauseum.

Sure enough…

"Hey Jaken!"

"What now?!" I snarl. Why couldn't the master have adopted a sane human?

"Do you hear that?" she giggles. Uh-oh, giggling…that's never a good sign. She always reserves that for her foulest mischief, like taking my staff or sending me into ogre lairs.

"No, I don't hear anything." I feign ignorance and turn my nose up at her. This too, is part of the game. She's asking about the river just beyond the trees, but of course she can't actually say it. She has to make me go check it out, or it's not fun for her. I can at least deny her that pleasure.

"Really? Well, I think I hear…water!!!!" she squeals, and suddenly takes off running.

"N-now wait just a minute!" I squawk. Unfortunately, her little legs are too fast for my tired old bones, and she darts right past my outstretched claws.

"I'm gonna go fishing!!!!" she announces, and disappears between the trees like a ghost.

The master is not going to like this.

"Why me?" I wonder, and flop down upon the green. A shield bug crawls lazily onto my shirt sleeve and I flick it angrily, picturing Rin's face on its mindless, insectoid face. I know I should be accompanying her, but I so detest this mindless babysitting…but if I don't do it, then the master would be forced to take her everywhere with him, and then she attach herself permanently. I swear, the girl really doesn't understand how good she has it. Most demon spawn that age wouldn't get the time of day from such an important Lord, let alone a story at bedtime.

I close my eyes and breathe deeply, trying to forget about the whelp for a minute. Of course, it doesn't work very well—I'm always worried that she'll sneak up and smother me if I go to sleep first, so I usually stay up and wait 'til she's out cold before going to bed. And usually, it takes a while. Precisely one hundred and seventy-two pleas for her to "get in bed this instant, human girl", or one simple command from my master—whichever comes first. I really wish he'd help me out with her more often.

Still, it's somewhat comforting to know that she's away for the moment, and I allow my body to relax against the warm soil. Times like these, I can appreciate my life again, and imagine it's almost the way it was before the girl-child came. And truth be told, I suppose I don't mind that she forces us to take so many rest stops…if not for the girl, my master would walk all day and all night, and it does start to wear at me. I am a frog demon, and every once in a while it's nice to sit down by a river and just breathe.

Oh, right. The river. Well, she's gone fishing there before, and there's no lizard-folk living in this part of the country. They won't touch human flesh anyways, because it's so stringy. So surely she can't get herself into that much trouble…

I should really learn to stop thinking things like that.

"JAKEN-SAMA!!!!!!"

I bolt upright instantly, fearing the worst. Kidnappers? Kitsune? Rabid watermelon!? Then I realize. This, too, is part of the game—the part where she lures me off and strangles me in the shadows! Well, two can play at this.

"What is it?" I call languidly, picking at the grass beneath my claws. Another stink bug scuttles across my hand and I trap it between my fingers, relishing the way it kicks its legs in terror.

"I fell in! You better come save me!" she giggles.

"Yeah, pull the other one!" I call back, and roll onto my side. The stink bug is still flailing helplessly between my claws. I contemplate eating it, but remember they give me horrible heartburn. I smash it instead.

"Jaken-sama, I'm gonna drown!" I can hear splashing now. This bothers me.

"Stay out of the water, girl, or I'll see that you drown!" I grouse. The girl has no right wading out in that river, fishing or no.

Apparently, that wasn't enough for her, because she has to start screaming.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screams, and splashes noisily. I have to hand it to her, she's a good actress.

"Keep it down, kid, I'm trying to sleep!" I yell, and glare at the tree line. Stupid wench ruins everything, I swear.

Silence. Unnatural silence. This is new, and unexpected. Normally, when I ignore her, she comes straight back to tell me off, or possibly steal my hat. Now…I'm not sure if I like this new development.

Something tells me she isn't playing around.

"Rin?" I query, rising to my feet. The only response is the whisper of trees and the roar of the water as it sweeps toward the rapids downstream.

"Rin?" I call, a little louder, and begin walking toward the river bank. Still nothing. Could she really have drowned, in that short a time? Surely not. Yet, it's true that she can't swim half as well as she ought to, and she is very small...It would be absolutely awful for my master to come back and find her body bobbing upon the waves.

Then again…

If the girl is gone, then the master would pay attention to me again. I would be the one sitting by his side at the fire, I would be the one to tease little half-smiles out of him with my antics. It would be harder, yes—the master does hit me less often when the girl is around, out of respect for her age—but I would be the only one getting myself hit, and perhaps the master would deign to speak with me more often, if only to correct me. Yes, it might not be bad if the river just spirited her away…

"HELP!!!!!!!!!" her voice pierces the air and resolves the debate, startling me out of my skin. "Jaken-samaaaaa!"

She's calling for me. What do you know, the wench is calling for me? In all our time together she has never asked me to help her with anything, always runs straight to the master, never pays any attention to old Jaken—but now, she calls for me. I begin trotting, shoving my way through the underbrush.

Then I remember how nice it would be if she drowned. Could I get away with it? Perhaps a snake demon attacked me, yes, attacked us in the clearing, and while I was valiantly fighting it the girl ran away. Engrossed in her terror, she didn't see the slippery bank until it was too late…

"JAKEN-SAMA!!!!" she wails again, and I slow to a trot. I think of all the other times she's called my name mockingly, stealing my staff, imitating my words, monopolizing the master's attention. Fine. Let her drown. I don't care if her face haunts me. I don't care if I never see her smile again. I don't care if she never makes the master chuckle, or if she never brings me flowers. I don't want to see her, ever, ever again…

Do I?

"Jaken-sama…" she calls, more pitifully this time. It sounds like her strength is about to give out.

Oh, bloody hell.

I push my way through the underbrush, and run like mad toward her sobbing voice.

I spot her almost instantly, her red and orange robes sticking out like a sore thumb against the frothy waters of the river. Predictably, the girl has managed to get caught in the swiftest part of the current, and she's hanging on to a rock in the center for dear life. She looks so helpless out there…so utterly fragile…somehow, I feel incredibly ashamed of myself.

"Jaken-sama…" she whimpers, her small hands scrabbling for purchase on the slippery stone. Her knuckles are white and her eyes are wide and terrified as she slips backward, not strong enough to pull herself out of the current. I swallow hard, tasting the bile at the back of my throat as I imagine her tiny form coming loose and smashing upon the sharp rapids-rocks. It wouldn't take much to kill her—one hard collision, and she'd slip unconscious beneath the frothy water and drown. Humans don't have gills, as I do.

And the water out there is deep, and dark as the abyss itself.

"Jaken-sama, help me…" She's calling my name.

I make my decision.

"I--I'll save you, insolent human whelp!" I proclaim in what I think to be an appropriately heroic manner, drop my staff, and dive into the river.

I land belly first and the water stings my breath away in the second it takes before my gills activate. A horrid, frigid sensation numbs my limbs and torso, and I realize for the first time just how cold Coldwater River really is. For a moment, I can't move at all and the current seizes me too—in the blink of an eye, I'll be swept into the rapids.

Then my natural reflexes kick in, and I find my water-legs again. I sputter and flail my way to the surface, searching desperately for the child.

"Jaken-sama!" she yelps, and turns her face toward me. I thrash my way toward her, cursing my cumbersome court robes, and all the while I see her staring adoringly at me, looking as if I were the most important thing in the entire universe.

"Grab my hand!" I yell, reaching out for her flailing paw. Her grip is slipping, and she's only got one hand clinging to the rock. I'm close, almost close enough, but the water is swift and the current runs deep. If she loses it now, I don't know if I'll be fast enough to catch her.

"I can't, I'm scared!" she whimpers, drawing her free limb away. She reaches for the rock again and fails—her dull nails aren't sharp enough to dig into the mossy surface. I can't imagine what it would be like to be that defenseless in the world, to not even have claws. How can she act so carefree, when tragedy could strike her at any minute?

Energy renewed, I flutter kick toward her and snatch her waving arm.

"C'mon, be a good girl." I plead, struggling to wrap an arm around her waist. She's so thin beneath my fingers, nothing but bones and a scant bit of human flesh. I feel vaguely guilty for demanding she eat less. Maybe human children need more than a half-side of demon-flesh a week. Maybe they really do need to eat three times a day.

I ease her away from her sanctuary gradually, prying her small fingers from the rock one at a time. Claws or no, humans do have a remarkable grip. She turns to me and her dull ape-eyes are filled with joy.

"There we go." I whisper, transferring the whole of her weight to lean against my hip. The current is strong, and I have to kick twice as hard to sustain us. "Just hang on to me, I'll get you out."

"Jaken-sama…" she sighs, and my breath catches. She never uses that tone for me, only for Sesshoumaru-sama. Always for Sesshoumaru-sama. There's a strange sort of pride that comes with hearing someone sigh your name like that. Almost as if you're a hero right out of the story-books. I puff my chest out happily, and allow her to snuggle closer to my body…

…Then she twists in my grasp and twines her arms firmly around my neck, squeezing off my breath.

"Gwaaaaaacccckk!!" I squawk, gasping for air.

"JAKEN-SAMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" she squeals. "I'm SCARED!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!!"

"Can't…breathe…" I gasp and claw against her death grip. "Rin…leggo…"

"Put me back put me back put me baaaaaack!!!!" she yells, pounding her tiny fists against my back. Since when had I ever thought her defenseless!? I shove at her torso but she isn't letting up. We're spinning now, and rocks are looming closer and closer…

I duck my head under water and attempt to breathe, but her beating limbs are playing havoc with my gill system. She's managed to kick me straight in the main fluke, and I can't seem to gulp enough water to stay aerated.

"Gaaaahhhhrrrr!" I cry, breaking the surface again. She cries and holds on tighter, apparently frightened by my attempts to dive. I give her one last shove and then decide to make a break for it. Human leech wrapped around my neck, I begin swimming desperately for shore.

The current is stronger than even I thought it was, and I push desperately against it, trying to swim parallel enough to break free from its icy grasp. My arms are burning from lack of oxygen and my legs have tied themselves in knots, but I know that if I let up before we're out of this riptide that we'll go straight to the rapids. My vision is blurring, and my eyes are burning.

Ten feet to the shore…five…

"Bleargh!" I cough, and slam into the river bank, retching water and mud from gills and lungs alike. Rin falls off my back, gasping as well, and her tiny limbs are shaking pathetically. My entire body hurts, but we're alive. She's safe. We're safe.

Now, I can be mad.

"What on earth were you thinking?!" I scream-cough, and my voice comes out in a rasping snarl. "Were you trying to get yourself KILLED!?"

"N…no…" she snivels, and curls into a shivering ball. "P-please don't yell…" She looks helpless and soft, but I'm not having any of that.

"Stupid human!" I howl, and thrust myself to my feet. "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times—stay away from the river!! You can't swim, you can't breathe, you have to have me or the Master watching you!"

"But you didn't wanna come fishing with me…" the girl whimpers. The nerve! As if it were MY fault she almost got her fool self killed!

"You ungrateful little BRAT!" I yell, and lunge for my staff. "I risk my life for you, and you tell me this was MY fault!? Why, I outta—"

"What is going on here?"

The calm voice of my master splits through the air and turns my blood to ice in a heartbeat. Nothing moves. I glance at my staff, raised high over my head. I glance at Rin, cowering at my feet. I glance at my master, who has chosen this oh-so-opportune moment to appear on the river bank.

He arches an eyebrow.

That's it, I'm dead.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" the human cries happily, and pulls herself to her feet to go greet him. I gape as he places on hand on her head and allows her—I can't believe it—allows her to bury her wet face in his silken pants leg. "I was so scared!"

The master turns to me and reaches calmly for my staff, but his voice is steely. "And just what were you doing with this?" he sniffs. "I certainly hope you haven't forgotten our little conversation about striking her." Rin pulls closer to him and whimpers.

Why, the nerve of that brat! He thought that I was—well I was going to, but—dammit, she was the one who—The injustice of it all boils up inside my chest, and I finally explode.

"B-but she was trying to kill me!" I screech indignantly, snatching my staff back with as much dignity as I can muster. "She nearly choked me to death!"

My master seems entirely unimpressed, and his glittery eyes follow my every move carefully. Suddenly, I remember what a poor idea it is to take anything away from my temperamental Lord, especially when he's already upset about something…

"Well, it seems she'll have to do a better job of killing you next time." he remarks dryly, but makes no move to strike me. I sag in relief, thanking all the gods I can think of that he's seen fit to spare me.

Suddenly, his eyes turn steely.

"Because if she doesn't, I will." he growls, and flexes his claws menacingly. "Understood?"

"Y-yessir! I understand perfectly! It'll never happen again!" I stammer, and press my face down into the dirt. Damn, is he frightening when he wants to be!

The master seems to find this acceptable, because he pivots on his heel and begins walking silently away, as he is wont to do.

"Come, Rin." he beckons, and she follows obediently, still hanging onto his clothing like a lost puppy. "Jaken?"

"Yessir." I reply, and lift myself out of the mud. Yuck…I need a bath now, worse than ever before, and my old bones are aching for some rest, but who knows how long my master will have us walk today? We have many miles to cover and promises to keep, and it does not do to keep the Lord's business waiting.

At least…at least the girl is safe. For all that I despise her, her weak human body and her place in my master's heart, I can't honestly wish her dead. I might even miss her stealing my staff, in another hundred years when she dies of old age.

Still…

She turns around and sticks out her tongue, and my suspicions are confirmed.

She really is trying to kill me.