It was the busiest day of the Shinsengumi, still investigating the yesterday's incident. Sougo who is sleeping soundly while wearing his eyemask and counting Hijikata's dead body on his dream, suddenly woke up.

"Damn, Hijikata's dead body 234 isn't enough." When he removed his eyemask, Hijikata is still discussing the incident that happened yesterday with Yamazaki, his personal spy. He saw an opportunity to kill one Hijikata to make his collection, 235. He smirked and pointed his bazooka at him, making Yamazaki scream in horror.

"Bye bye, Vice-commander. Why don't you suck mayonnaise on the afterlife?" He fired his bazooka on Hijikata's direction but he dodged it, having the devil's luck. Hijikata stood up and looked at Sougo while massaging his forehead.

"Oi, Sougo. What the hell are you doing?" Sougo tsk-ed and hides his bazooka somewhere in his coat. He scratched the back of his head and looked away, avoiding eye contacts.

"I was just j-joking." Hijikata's veins popped and shouted at him. "That's your idea of joking?! What kind of sense of humor do you have, huh?!" Sougo closed his one eye and sticks his tongue out and bumped his head with his hand.

"Sadistic kind of humor? Teehee." He then suddenly shoved his katana on Hijikata's ass and ran for his life while laughing.

"Hijikata's dead body 235, succeeded!"


Sougo, who just ran for his life is resting inside of his room, slightly opened his door to see if Hijikata came for revenge when he saw a familiar red cheongsam, fair skin tone, a vermillion hair and a purple parasol. In short, the China girl that he knows walked through pass his door. He quickly stood up and opened his door.

He followed her without Kagura realizing. Sougo smirked of satisfaction when he knew that she couldn't see him. He realized that Kagura was making her way to their kitchen. He raised his one eyebrow, questioning himself how she could find their food source.

Kagura was about to open their refrigerator when someone grabbed her and carried her to his shoulder. She saw a familiar sandy-colored hair and a black with gold-linings coat.

It's the person that she hates.

From the bottom of her heart.

And from the bottom of her soul.

"Put me down, you bastard! Who gave you permission to carry me like this, huh? I'm the Kabukicho's queen!" Kagura said while trying to get off of his shoulder. He smirked and holds her tighter.

"Really? Then I'm the king of the sadists." Kagura frowned, feeling the effect of her struggling earlier. She stopped her plan to get off of his shoulder, but instead asked him. "Where are we going, anyway? Where are you taking me?" Sougo suddenly puts her down, without even saying a thing.

"Wow, you're such a gentleman sadist. Maybe many girls fall for you – not. Gweh. I think I'm about to throw up." Sougo looked at her boringly and massaged his shoulder, regretting his idea earlier.

"Keep talking, China. I don't want to hear that from a fat glutton monster like you. Seriously, how much do you weight?" The little girl glared at him as she heard an insult about her weight, the most sensitive part of her whole being. She stomped on his feet, making Sougo groan out of pain.

"Y-you! Ugh it hurts. Aaahh." Sougo jumped with only his one foot while holding his ankle, bending his legs. Kagura smirked and sticks her tongue out to provoke Sougo more.

"Bastard. That's for making fun of my weight. Serves you right, loser! Bleh!" Kagura runs of, leaving Sougo behind.

Yamazaki, who came out from the kitchen saw Sougo holding his ankle while looking at the end of the hallway. He was curious what happened to him so he walked closer, and asked Sougo.

"Okita taichou. What happened to you?" The clueless Yamazaki asked. Sougo laughed silently, and turned it into a scary, sadistic, and crazy laugh.

"You wanna know, what happened? Huh, Zaki?" Yamazaki gulped and shakes his head, witnessing the black aura around Sougo. He heard Sougo's whispered something, and it sends a lot of shivers on his back.

"That…China! She's gonna pay for this!" Sougo leaves Yamazaki on his own, making Yamazaki sigh of relief. He thought that it was the end of his life. Suddenly, Sougo came back.

"Oh yeah, this is what happened." Sougo kicked Yamazaki in his balls and stomped on his feet. He only cried in pain and was again left behind.


Hijikata is still lying on the ground, feeling the pain on his ass. When the Yorozuya's leader showed up with his assistant, Shinpachi. Gintoki looked closely if he was sure that it was the Mayora fukucho that he knew.

"Oi. You should learn to wipe your bloody ass before calling us here. Or, do you want me to do that for you?" Gintoki smirked as he watches the unconscious Hijikata in front of him. The mayonnaise addict didn't response, making Gintoki look closely.

"Oi, Gin-san. Don't touch Hijikata-san just because you want to. We have work to do." Gintoki looked at the four-eyed straight man that is standing behind him. He used his index and middle finger to grab Shinpachi's nose, making it bleed.

"Ah. Itai itai itai itai! It hurts Gin-san! Let go of my nose, you natural-perm useless old man!" Shinpachi grabbed Gintoki's nose too and started to push his fingers deeper into his nose. (A/N: lol im having the weirdest yet possible idea ever. GinPachi/ShinToki anyone? Hahahaha)

"You let go first, Shinpach-kun! Didn't you know, I tried hard to make my noise hair 10 pieces each for my two nostrils?! Now I don't know anymore if their still balanced, Shinpachi-kuuuun!" Gintoki holds Shinpachi's nostrils even tighter, making Shinpachi do the same when they heard a noise coming from the next room.

*BLAG!*

The wall ripped off, and they saw a two person who they knew hated each other from the bottom of their heart and soul, hugging?! No, more like killing each other by suffocating themselves. And aside from that, their clothes are… ripped off?!

"Oi oi oi! What are you doing to my daughter, you sadist tax robber?!" Gintoki pointed his finger to them, releasing it from Shinpachi's nose. While Shinpachi fainted and his nose bleeds at what he just saw.

"Oi! Oi! Shinpachi-kun hang on there!" Gintoki who suddenly ignored the two kids and tried to wake Shinpachi up.

When a gorilla and a baldy opened the door, without noticing the scene that was happening in front of them.

"So I heard that my daughter is in here?" Umibozu asked Kondou, who was still on his Commander attitude.

"Yes together with the rest of my team and Yoro….zuya." Kondou's jaw dropped as he witnessed the scene in front of his eyes. Hijikata who was lying on the floor, with a blade pierced into his ass. Shinpachi who fainted from what his virgin eyes just saw, a silver-haired samurai who is trying to bring Shinpachi back to his senses and last but not the least, the two person who was making out as what he sees. He then slowly looked at the little girl's father, trying to see if he could spare Sougo, his and Hijikata's son's life.

"God damnit, Kondou-san! Quit playing the family game already! I'm sick of it!" Hijikata shouted with the blade still piercing him right on his sorry ass.

Kondou saw Umibozu's aura and knew that he doesn't have a chance to talk things out now. He gulped and wipes his sweat.

Goodluck, Sougo.


Did you like it? XD Not much of a romance tho. For me, I actually liked the part where Gintoki talked about his hair in his nostrils. Hahahahaha! I laughed hard when I was writing that. Especially Kondou's scene. XD I hope you enjoyed this, and the other stories that I made. Thank you very much. *bows*