Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in The West Wing (unfortunately).

C.J. walked into Josh's office full speed but caught the look on his face and stopped abruptly, feeling as though she'd hit a brick wall of sadness. Her throat felt suddenly dry, and she put her hand on the back of the chair in front of her to steady herself. To prepare herself.

"Any news on Donna?" she asked, her voice lower than usual. She felt her breath escape in a torrent of relief when he shook his head. The rest of them, at least, were operating under the theory that no news was good news considering how quickly news of the first three fatalities had reached them. Josh, on the other hand, didn't seem to like that theory. He was driving himself crazy on the phone, trying to get any word of her condition and not being very successful. C.J. took another look at his face and sat down slowly in the chair she'd been holding on to.

"How are you doing?" she asked softly. She was careful to keep her tone light, though, because if Josh knew how worried she actually were, not only would his own anxiety escalate, but his communication skills would most likely shut down. She got the answer she expected.

"I'm fine," he said as he picked up his cell phone for the fifth time in as many minutes. He glanced at the screen and then back at C.J. "I'm just trying to get an update on her status, but no one in that hospital seems to know anything. I told them to call me if there were any change. You'd think I'd have heard something by now."

C.J.'s expression was pained. "Josh," she started, but he heard the shift in her tone and looked up quickly, saying, "yeah, thanks for stopping by. I'll come by your office if I hear anything."

She sighed. He wasn't just shutting her out. He wasn't talking to anyone, as far as she knew. She knew when to leave, though. She stood up and walked out slowly, glancing behind her to make sure he was doing just what she knew he would… staring at his phone as if willing it to ring. Shaking her head, she walked back to her own office, giving Carol instructions to come get her the minute Josh seemed to know anything.

Josh sat staring at the cell phone and was startled out of his trance by another knock on the door. Glancing up, he was unsurprised to see Toby, trying hard to look nonchalant and trying not to look relieved. He didn't blame him for the relief, though. If only Donna had been in the same car as Andi, he wouldn't be sitting here now, suddenly realizing that this misery didn't exactly measure up to how a boss was supposed to feel about his assistant.

"Hear anything?" Toby asked, and Josh just shook his head, watching with relief as Toby quickly nodded and moved off. At least he didn't have to worry about Toby trying to ask about his feelings the way C.J. couldn't seem to stop herself from doing. He didn't blame her, though. He had glanced at his reflection in his window, and he understood why she was worried. If he'd had the time to spare, he'd be worried about himself too. As it was, he only had enough energy to focus on Donna.

And suddenly his cell phone, which he'd been gripping since he'd first heard the news three hours ago, started ringing, and the Caller I.D. number was a new one. It was the hospital. It had to be. Fumbling with the phone, he finally managed to turn it on, getting up to close his door as he did so. He knew that the sound of his cell phone right now could bring the whole West Wing running.

Coming around his desk again, he frowned a little at the phone.

"Yeah, I'm sitting down. Just tell me what's going on now. Are they sending her to Germany? What's the status?"

And suddenly his legs gave out and he collapsed into his seat, unable to comprehend what the woman on the other end of the phone was telling him. Unwilling to believe it at all. He managed to make some sort of sound when she said goodbye, but he continued to stare at the phone, his vision blurring to the point where he could no longer recognize what he had been staring at for the last three hours.

After what seemed like hours but was really only a few minutes, there was a knock on his door, and he didn't answer. He couldn't. With the exception of the aftermath of Rosslyn, he didn't remember a time when he hadn't been able to control his emotions even in the privacy of his own office. Now, not only was he past the point of caring, but he couldn't have even if he'd tried. He was too tired to try. He was aware of his door opening slowly, and as he looked up with tears in his eyes, he saw C.J., and he saw the moment when she understood. She swallowed hard, and they stared at each other. Neither of them could find the right words. Because there weren't any.