A/N: Hello again, HM community! It's great to be back (sort of back) after a month-long hiatus of doing nothing! Long story short, I got a job, boyfriend moved in with me, and it's summer, so I'm actually legitimately busy right now, but I couldn't pass up posting this first chapter (wrote it all today, actually! two and a half hours for nearly 4k words, I think that's a new record for me)
Anyway, this story marks a whole bunch of firsts for me.
- first person POV (I will NOT change POVs every other paragraph like so many other authors do. It is a gigantic eyesore and I roll my eyes even thinking about it, so don't worry)
- I explore what it's like having main characters interested in each other but in other people at the same time (you knew it was coming)
- new writing style
- using Annie instead of Minori (it just seems to fit better in a story like this)
This story underwent a lot of changes to the general idea and especially title ideas, but I'm pretty happy with the end result. I have chapters planned out in advance so I'll stick to those, and it shouldn't take too long to get this going.
I'm just really excited to be writing this, so I hope you guys stick with me!
And lastly, regarding Apple Pie, it'll be completed soon! I promise! I just need a little bit more time... but then you'll have your cheese fluff and anything else your heart desires, honestly! (And then after that who knows what else will come.)
But for now, just enjoy a little Annie/Raeger tease~
Thanks for reading!
What the Selfish Heart Wants
It had already been a week since I moved here.
I got used to the sweat and heat, and I rather appreciated the noise of the birds chirping over the subway. The townspeople seemed to like me well enough, but I kept a safe distance anyway. They were easygoing and cheerful, and I thought myself to be the same, but for some reason, it just didn't feel right to spend so much time talking to them.
People here were nice, almost so much that I took off running on the first day when I met Veronica. Life wasn't like that in the city. If you even looked at someone wrong, you'd probably get shot, and there was definitely a literal sense of the word backstabber.
But for the most part, everyone was friendly and accepting (even the ditzier ones like my fellow farmers down the hill, Fritz and Giorgio), though it did feel like they all had their own little cliques already.
Crying about things didn't do anybody any good, though, and if you were one of those wimps that only cried alone, out of earshot and sight, no one would help you.
So I didn't cry once throughout the week, not even when I tripped and fell down the entire staircase in the middle of town – though I would never again forget its stupid location.
I didn't cry as I realized my cow was becoming my best friend. In a way, Hanako reminded me of my friend back home, Johnny. They were both rocks for me to stand on, but at least Hanako wasn't afraid to move out to the country with me.
I lived on a farm for a very short time when I was young – my parents were having problems so my father took me to his brother's place during the summer I turned eight. I'd made friends with the animals, unsurprisingly, and had actually grown pretty accustomed to helping out with milking and raking and pulling up weeds and the like.
Living on a farm here was pretty much the same feeling, except I had to stay by myself and do all the work alone.
Anyway, for quite some time I'd been looking for an opportunity to get out of the city. I didn't really have any family left there for me, so there were just too many memories I wanted to leave behind. Sometime last month, I was walking around the square and saw the flyer for Oak Tree. I was with Johnny and he tried his hardest to talk me out of it but I ignored him and ran home immediately to prepare myself.
And I hadn't talked to him since, not even when I got on the train to leave.
That was back in the beginning of spring, and now it was nearing the end of summer.
…
"Good girl," I cooed, patting Hanako all over her head. She was a cow, so she wasn't visibly enjoying it, but she wasn't moving away or anything.
I usually did this while I milked her, because even though old lady Eda trained her, she didn't seem to like the cold metal thing touching her udders very much. The satisfaction of being petted probably offset the discomfort. It was harder for me to maneuver like this, but as long as I got my milk, it was fine.
I patted her head once more before dragging the bucket of milk out of the barn and into the house. From what I remembered on the farm all those years ago, you basically just added water to the cream to thin it out and make it more like store-bought milk, so that was all I'd been doing to it. It seemed to work, because the quality and consistency of the price I sold it for were pretty good.
After all my morning chores were completed, it was almost nine already. I was starting to smell like a real farmer, but a farmer couldn't do her job without seeds, so I decided to go to Mr. Otmar's shop while I was still playing the part.
My sore feet brought me down the winding path – going downhill was always way more fun than coming up. The sweet smells of summer wafted into my nostrils and I took a deep breath to savor it.
I knew this would be the case, and I reveled in it every day, but country air had already proven itself to be a million times cleaner than city air. No pollution. All you could smell was nature.
As I approached the bottom of the hill, to my right was the rival farm (or farms, considering one person ran each one). I thought about stopping by while I was still in a good mood to say hello, but my stomach growled and diminished all hopes of doing that.
If I remembered correctly, there was a restaurant in town nearby. Admittedly, I actually hadn't been inside any buildings besides the general shop and the guild office. The latter was only because Veronica had practically led me by the hand there when I moved in. I met her daughter and the crossdressing doctor, and come to think of it, there were only a handful of people I didn't remember meeting yet.
I'd seen them around town but never introduced myself to the innkeeper, the chef, the contractors, and a few others. If that went on I'd probably be considered rude so I made a mental note to stop by those places after I stocked up my seeds.
I reached the general store after some more mental debate and pushed the door in. Otmar looked up from the counter, invested in his fishing magazine just moments ago, but he didn't look as happy as I was to see the other person.
"Who are you?"
Now, see, any other person in my situation would've responded probably a little nastily, but I knew Mr. Otmar was getting a few pre-Alzheimer's symptoms – and besides, he really was a sweet old man when he remembered me.
I just smiled. "I'm Annie, the new farmer? I just moved in last week."
Suddenly his face rolled up into a smile and I could see he really did remember. "Oh! Annie!"
I nodded. It wasn't that I was a very patient person by default, but I had a soft spot for seniors, I guess, because I didn't have any grandparents growing up. I always wanted to know what that was like.
"I just need to stock up on some seeds again," I told him. I reached into my pocket and yanked out my wallet, not really knowing why I didn't count my money before coming here.
There was only just over six hundred gold so I couldn't go all out. "Could I just get some tomatoes?" Tomatoes regrew every few days or so, meaning more profit to equal more seeds, rinse and repeat.
Otmar nodded and left his post for a moment to grab a few bags for me. When he returned, he placed the seeds in front of me and started the math on his cash register. "That's… three tomato bags… one-fifty each… uh, who are you again – oh! Annie!" He turned to me. "You get a discount today!"
I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Because you're my best customer this week!"
I think I stifled a laugh then. Did that mean I was buying more than anybody else? That wasn't very fair – I'd just moved in, so of course I needed to buy more stuff than other people.
I bit my lip. I didn't want to be selfish, but I remembered that I was hungry and only had a little bit of money left, and I was going to be stopping at the restaurant soon, anyway…
"Okay, so how much of a discount is it?"
He typed in some stuff on the register again, like he hadn't figured it out already, and smiled. "I only need one-fifty from you today."
That number made me happy, but I also felt scummy, like I was ripping him off. Still… that meant I could probably get a better dish, and while I wasn't exactly a glutton, food was always good.
"All right," I conceded, grabbing out the right amount of coins, "here you go. Thank you!"
He waved it off and just kept smiling that old man smile. He opened the register and deposited the coins before putting the seed bags inside another bag and handing it to me. "Come again, Andrea."
"It's Annie," I corrected, though at least he got the first syllable right. I took the bag and bowed my head as I walked out the door.
Every day I spent in Oak Tree was a mini adventure, really. I never knew what was going to happen.
In any case, my stomach growled again, so I figured I should gung ho it to the restaurant if I wanted anything in my bloodstream before passing out.
The staircase was a bit tricky, only because I was spacy and a bit lightheaded from lack of food, but I made it to the door of what I thought was the restaurant in no time.
I knew Mr. Otmar enough to just barge through the door, but the restaurant wasn't left open and I didn't know who worked there or anything, so I knocked a few times to be on the safe side. It took a while, but I heard footsteps coming towards me, and I death gripped the plastic bag of seeds out of anxiety.
"I'm sorry, but I really don't want any news – "
I didn't know what to say, if I should've said anything at all, so I just stood there wide-eyed as the chef stared me down, realizing he was probably talking to the wrong person. I wasn't selling any newspapers.
"Sorry," he said, stepping away and running a hand through his hair. He was pretty good-looking, even those times I saw him from afar in the town square, but up close he looked even better so I averted my eyes a little, embarrassed I was even thinking of that.
"Usually, everyone just comes up and pushes the door in. I guess now that it's summer, though, I should leave the door open, right? It's still pretty early in the morning, so the bugs shouldn't be too bad…"
He was talking to himself for a few more moments and I didn't really catch everything that he said. I was almost regretting my decision to come there when he smacked himself on the forehead.
"I'm really sorry. Here, come in."
He stepped back and opened the door all the way, motioning with his arm for me to go inside. I did, and the décor of the place surprised me. By the way he looked, I expected the interior to be more modern, but the yellow walls and tile floor just said traditional. It looked very homey and comfortable, and I already felt better being inside than I was outside, even if the chef was a little weird…
"Jeez, sorry it's so messy," he said quickly, disappearing behind the counter to wipe up something or other. I didn't even realize what he was talking about with the 'messy' part, but I brushed it off. He seemed like some sort of a health nut, so it wouldn't surprise me if he was a germaphobe too.
There wasn't anybody else inside, and the bar area didn't look dirty, so I seated myself on a stool and admired the design a little more.
"I didn't know you worked here," I said, though I couldn't see where he was or what he was doing beneath the counter.
Just like everybody else I hadn't formally met yet, I'd seen the chef (I still didn't know his name) around town when I went to the shop or the trade depot to sell things. We'd exchange pleasantries and smile at each other sometimes, but I never talked to him for more than thirty seconds at a time. This was a whole new thing, and it taught me that first impressions were almost never right.
He popped his head up, his light brown hair sticking up in all different directions. "Yep. I actually kinda own it."
He didn't seem angered, but the way he said it sounded like he thought I was trying to belittle him. I wasn't. I honestly had no idea he worked here, let alone owned it, because I was pretty ignorant for the most part…
Did I need to apologize? "Sor – "
"If you stick around for another half hour or so, you can meet Lillie. She keeps saying how much she wants to meet you."
My first thoughts about this guy were definitely wrong. It was like he had ADD or something and couldn't sit still. Was this just because he was working? But there was nobody in the restaurant besides me, and he hadn't even offered me a drink or anything yet, and now he was going on about some girl – was that his girlfriend? How could he possibly have a girlfriend? He was attractive, sure, but with a personality like that, it must've been hard getting any girl to like him. I surely didn't after seeing his true colors.
I was just being mean, though. I should've given him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was just overacting and being weird because the summer heat was sending him into delirium. Yeah, that was it. It was pretty hot outside, after all.
"Who's Lillie?" I asked. If I stayed silent for too long he might've gotten weirded out by me, and I didn't want the weirdo to think the same thoughts about me.
"She's the town's weathergirl."
I felt my eyes nearly bulge out. "This town has a weathergirl? With only, like, twenty people?"
He laughed, and that was the first time his eyes looked full of mirth. He set down whatever he was holding and leaned on the counter to actually talk to me.
He was definitely starting to look less weird and more attractive again.
"There's more than twenty people living here, y'know," he mocked. I was just glad he wasn't super stingy or quirky like I'd originally thought. It seemed like he was starting to loosen up a bit.
"You just haven't met everybody yet," he continued, "and besides, there's a bunch of people you'll see in here a lot but they normally just stay home and do whatever all day. I honestly don't know many of them by name, but everyone here is friendly and accepting."
I stifled a laugh, putting my hand up to my mouth.
"What?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.
I shook my head. "No, it's nothing. It's just that I thought those same exact words about the people here – they're friendly and accepting."
I started laughing, not really knowing why I found it so funny, and he kept his eyebrow raised but smiled amusingly with me anyway. He definitely wasn't a bad guy, so I could feel myself loosening up as well. Maybe I could have another friend here besides Hanako – while I liked Mr. Otmar plenty, half the time he didn't even remember my name, so…
After I finally calmed down, I rubbed at my eyes to try and wipe the tears away. I almost always cried a little when I laughed.
"Anyway, sorry I didn't really introduce myself," I said. "You probably thought I was a salesperson or something, the way I knocked on the door."
He chuckled and waved a hand. "No, no, that's fine. I've just been having some trouble with those people lately. Nobody ever knocks on the door unless they're unfamiliar with the place, so I just put two and two together and must've gotten three instead of four."
I scoffed. He had an odd sense of humor. "So you really get salespeople here?"
He nodded. "You'd be surprised." He pulled out what looked like another stool from beneath the sink and sat down on it, facing me straight on now. "It's mainly concerning Lillie, though."
"The weathergirl?"
I knew it; there had to be something else there that he wasn't telling me. The way he said her name gave it away. He had a weird personality that honestly still turned me off a little, but he still was too good-looking to not be associated with anyone like that.
"Yeah," he said simply.
I shook my head. "She's gotta be more than that."
He stared blankly, not even at me really.
"Isn't she your girlfriend?" I tried. "The way your eyes have been lighting up, there's something else there."
I laughed as his face paled. "Th-that's not – "
"And I bet she's got you pretty whipped."
He shot me a confused glance, only making me laugh more. "How… how did you…?"
I nodded and smiled, calming down. "I left behind… a boyfriend, I guess, in the city. His name's Johnny." It wasn't really untrue. We just didn't flaunt it so much.
He cleared his throat, adjusting to the new topic just as quickly as I had. "Is it serious?"
"Um…" I hesitated. "I'm actually not sure." I lifted a hand to rub the back of my neck. "Come to think of it, I don't really know if we're still even together anymore since, y'know, I moved here and all. He was kind of against it from the start anyway. We've been together since we were kids and it's not unusual to go a few months without talking to each other because we'll pick right back up where we left off anyway, but…"
I didn't really mean to prattle on about Johnny for so long, and at the end of my almost-gibberish sentence, I felt awkward. The chef here was the first person in town who didn't seem to mind my presence so much and now I was going to ruin it by ranting about garbage he didn't even care about…
"It's never too late to call."
I raised my head up at him. Was he serious? He didn't say anything about me talking too much, and he was actually helping me?
"I… don't think this is something that can be solved with just a phone call, actually," I told him sheepishly. Johnny and I were technically still an item, I guess, and it had been that way for a while now, but even we had our serious moments where we needed time apart.
I did miss him, though. I mean, he was my best friend – besides Hanako, of course – so how could I not?
He shrugged across from me. "Well, maybe you can start with a call. You said you're from the city, right? That means you probably can't go back there on such short notice."
I nodded, following his words. He really was pretty helpful.
"So maybe you call," he continued, "and you tell him you want to meet up and fix things, and if he agrees to it, great, you're all set. But on the other hand, if he doesn't want to go through with it, you'll have two choices."
I felt my face fall into a grimace, already knowing exactly what those would be. Keep trying to fix things or let it go and move on.
It felt too weird to even think about the second option, but I gulped as I thought about the first.
I hadn't talked to Johnny in over a month already, so it would obviously be weird calling him up all of the sudden. I did have a lot of things to talk about, though, and with the chef's determination to help me, I was feeling like maybe I could fix our relationship again.
I was starting a new life here, but that didn't mean I couldn't still be a part of Johnny's, right?
"Thanks," I said, turning in the stool to try and get up. In my haste my mind forgot what I originally came there for, but my body certainly didn't because I nearly fell.
He practically jumped over the countertop to catch me, but I didn't actually fall so it was a wasted effort.
"S-sorry," I mumbled pathetically. That was definitely one of my stupider moments in Oak Tree.
And then I realized what was even stupider.
"So… I still haven't introduced myself yet." In a way, it was kinda funny. We'd just shared a really heartfelt talk while not even knowing each other's name.
"Oh, I already know you," he said nonchalantly, as if my name was suddenly the most obvious thing in the world. "You're Annie, you just moved here from the city last week, and you're a little socially awkward."
I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. For the first time in that town, I was utterly shocked. Did I… did I have a stalker? That wasn't right, though… he was dating Lillie, that weathergirl.
"Judging by your reaction, you must think I'm awkward too, right?"
I nodded my head all too emphatically, trying to tell him that I thought he was creepy. "Um…"
He cleared his throat, actually looking a little awkward like he said. "Well, I guess I have to tell you about myself now. Here goes. I'm Raeger, I've lived here since I was fifteen, I'm twenty-four now in case you're wondering, and I'm bad at making friends."
Hearing those confessions made me feel a little more comfortable, my tension eased, and I smiled. "Nice to meet you, Raeger. You already know me – a lot about me, I guess – but my name is Annie. I'm twenty-three, just moved here from the city, and I'm actually not as socially awkward as you may think."
The next thing that surprised me was the smirk that rose up to his face. It was definitely a new thing.
"I'll believe that when I see you with your boyfriend," he said.
I shook my head. "You say that like it's a challenge. Relationships aren't about flaunting your partner with other people."
He looked like he was about to respond but my growling stomach cut him off. He laughed while I covered my face in embarrassment. At least it saved us from an awkward topic.
"Well, now I know that you didn't come here just to introduce yourself to me."
I heard the sound of a stool running along the floor and looked up to see him walking over to the fridge. He was probably going to prepare something now, and suddenly I grew even hungrier.
"I haven't gone shopping yet or anything, so I don't have much, but I've got some fresh vegetables if you're interested." He glanced back at me for a split second. "You kinda seem like a girl who's more vegetable-oriented anyway. You're like Lillie."
I was surprised at how right he was – I was a vegetarian all the way, I don't think I ever liked meat even when I was little – but how could he tell? Did I have a sign on my face or something?
"I am, actually."
He didn't look back again but I could hear the smile in his voice. "You've got a slender frame and you're pretty short, so that's how I know."
My face heated up, and suddenly I felt very self-conscious about my body. It wasn't like I wore super loose clothes, but I at least left most parts up to imagination… But he said I was just like Lillie, so that meant we were about the same size, right? She must've been cute, being small and everything.
Raeger tended to say whatever was on his mind, didn't he?
I guess I didn't mind that, though, especially since he led me to call Johnny later that night.
~CGA
