"Your enemies will become your allies and your allies will become your enemies... "
- 99th Emperor of Britannia


A weird turn of events happened for the pass minutes. The shift of emotions is unimaginable. I can't do much describing of the subject for I think I 'escaped' reality a while ago. Just let the narrator do the talking for now.


A few minutes before…

At the Shinjuku ghetto beside the Tokyo supplement, two lost souls were seeking answers and a selfish being followed one of them.

Lelouch Lamperouge sat on a bench in the ghetto. He just got an Eleven out of temptation, the temptation of taking Refrain as solution to his problems. In return, he was the one tempted to take it.

"I can't... Nunnally..." Lelouch said.

Somewhere else in the ghetto, Lelouch's foster brother, Rolo Lamperouge, hid behind the railings of the ghetto. He drove his 'nii-san' to insanity by reminding him repeatedly of Nunnally and how Zero's plans will bend the governor-general's will.

He searched for Lelouch at the ghetto as he lost sight of his brother a while ago. "Where are you, Lelouch..." Rolo's eyes trailed left and right, searching for signs of his brother.

Lelouch took out something from his pocket. Oh look... it's Refrain!

"Might as well do this..." Lelouch said. He analyzed the illegal object he's possessing. "Bring back memories they say..." He felt a smile form on his face. "Happiness… they say."


"Where's Kallen?" Tohdoh asked Ohgi. Drips of sweat fell from his face, indicating he has been searching Kallen all over the place. Ohgi turned around to see Tohdoh, the man left in charge by Zero. "She went looking for Zero." he said

"Zero. Our masked leader or the civilian behind every miracle?" he asked Ohgi, being specific about Zero. "Civilian."

"So Zero isn't the only one keeping secrets from us."

Kallen searched the Shinjuku ghetto, in hopes of finding their leader. She looked left and right but she only saw some Britannian soldiers, Eleven construction workers and a black-haired lad. Wait a minute...

"I'd figured you'd come here." Kallen said as she slowly walked towards the black-haired lad. "Where Zero was born. You started it here. This is where it all began."

She took her steps slowly that Lelouch didn't seem to notice her arrival.

"Lelouch, I wanna tell you something." she said, as she began to form sentences on her mind.

Suddenly, something caught her eye. A terrible thing from her saddened past was held by her beloved leader. The very thing that drove her mother to insanity and at the same time hospitalized her. "IS THAT!?"

"Refrain." Lelouch stated. He smirked at Kallen when she saw him holding the Refrain. He was about to inject the Refrain to his system, allowing him to hallucinate the good memories he once had. Those memories back at the Aries Villa, Kururugi Shrine and the Ashford Academy. Those people who disappeared like Queen Marianne will be alive once again when he takes the drug. He will be free from being Zero or from being Lelouch.

He can be anyone he wants!

He can even make those dreams come true. Let the dead live. Do real miracles without the help of calculations and strategies. All he needs to do is take this drug and his world will brighten up.

"You're familiar with it aren't you?" Lelouch asked as he remembered how Kallen's mother was a Refrain addict. He started to loose himself, though he haven't taken the drug yet. "Brings back memories of the good ol' days." He held the Refrain closer to his bare skin.

He was ready to see his good memories once more. Ready to escape, to be free, and to go to the fictional universe that is all a hallucination.

"Oh give me that CRAP!" Kallen shouted. She walked towards him angrily. Her very steps made stomping sounds that the soldiers of Hitler made. Kallen tried to get the Refrain from him but Lelouch hesitated to let go.

"Kallen-sama?" Rolo recognized the voice that echoed throughout the ghetto, a feminine voice and the very same voice he hears that contacts their base at Ashford. The 15-year old boy looked left and right and tried to find the redhead. "She must be near." 'If Kallen is here and so is nii-san.' Rolo thought.

Kallen successfully got the Refrain from Lelouch and she threw the drug away. It fell to the cold ghetto floor and the glass broke to a million pieces. Lelouch just looked down at the floor.

'My only chance of escape and Kallen took it away.'the lost Lelouch thought.

"So what if you fail this time! Can't you come up with another plan to get it back? Just give us orders like you always do! Should I use my Knightmare or maybe play decoy? Tell me my orders! Lead the Black Knights! Tell me and I'll do whatever you say!" Kallen stated her determination to serve Zero and the Black Knights. 'Please Lelouch. Be Zero. We need you.' Kallen thought.

Rolo hid at one of the columns as he saw Lelouch and Kallen. "Nii-san..." He never saw his brother in this state before. We all know Lelouch is suicidal, but this is beyond suicide. He doesn't even care about what he will leave behind if he goes to his hallucinated world.

"All right then..." Lelouch said, his head facing the ground.

"You want orders?" he asked the girl. "wha-?" Kallen said confused.

"Here's your order, comfort me." Lelouch finished. He stood up and he walked slowly towards Kallen. The girl backed out a little. Lelouch is nothing but a hollow body seeking for comfort and for an escape to his wretched life. The only escape he could thought of, Refrain, is already destroyed.

He faced Kallen, his soul seems to be lost somewhere. Kallen stared at his face. She saw nothing but a face of a man with no soul at all. 'Lelouch, what's happening to you?'

He stared at the fiery eyes and Kallen stared at the empty violet ones of his.

"What is nii-san doing?" Rolo asked himself as he hid behind one of the columns. The poor sibling of Lelouch has totally no idea of what his brother is planning now.

Lelouch then got her chin. In that hollow body of his, he smirked. 'I don't do this at all to girls... maybe Shirley is right... I am a womanizer...' he thought.

"That's something women can do... right?"

Lelouch neared his lips to Kallen's.

'Lelouch! What is this?! What are you doing!?' the redhead thought

Kallen hesitated on what to do next.

She is frozen and afraid or is she just readying for the kiss? She admired her leader or was it beyond admiration? Was it something beyond her hatred for Lelouch and beyond her admiration for Zero?

Rolo watched from the column and thought 'What is nii-san doing!?'
Rolo knows his brother very well. He isn't a flirt. He isn't a slut. He isn't a womanizer. But poor Sayoko, that is what the maid thought of Lelouch.

Lelouch placed his lips on Kallen's. Their lips connected.

And then he felt free. He closed his eyes as he felt comforted. The kiss continued and it lasted for a few more seconds. Kallen's eyes never shut. She was still as surprised as someone who found out it wasn't their birthday today.

All kind of emotions started to build up within Kallen but Lelouch was left with his hollow body with nothing but the urge of seeking comfort.

Kallen's thoughts was divided to two, one that held all the love and the other, all the hate.

'Lelouch! You just stole my first kiss!

I wonder where the scales will tip...
Love or Hate?

"I better leave them alone." Rolo thought. He walked away from the two and his trail just disappeared. He probably left for Ashford… for some unfinished businesses involving Milly.

Lelouch opened his eyes only to see the blushing wide-eyed redhead and his lips on top of hers. He realized that he was kissing Kallen. Kissing. Kissing. Kissing… something that lovers only do. It took a while before the word 'kissing' registered to his mind.

And then... Lelouch's lost soul found his way back and Lelouch went back to Earth. His hollow body was filled with the strategic demonic soul of Lelouch Lamperouge, Lelouch vi Britannia and Zero.

'WHAT AM I DOING!?' Lelouch thought. He quickly removed his lips from Kallen's and turned his gaze away from her for a second. Embarrassment has conquered his thoughts and his face was filled with nothing but shame.

Kallen's face was still red from his sudden movements. 'What have I done..' the black prince thought.

Lelouch gathered up some courage and called the maiden's name. "Kallen..." but she continued to stared at the concrete floor of the ghetto. Her red hair fell in front of her face, thus covering her face and concealing her current emotions.

"I... I'm sorry." Lelouch apologized. Kallen didn't mind him or at least noticed his apology. She still continued to stare at the concrete floor and didn't make any movements at all.

Lelouch tried to reach for her, to at least try and apologize to her. But he stopped. He stopped his attempt from reaching her.

'I should probably leave her alone. I've done enough...' Lelouch thought.

He backed away slowly from Kallen, taking one step at a time. He still looked at the poor girl and can't think of any way to help her right now. Maybe he can help her by leaving.

'Lelouch'

He thought of comforting the girl but he realized that he did enough to harm her. He tried to correct what he did, but he thought that by doing that, he may cause more harm. He continued to stare at the red hair of his most loyal follower. His heart was racing, not from the intensity of the kiss, but the guilt of even kissing her. The guilt of giving that order.

He felt something weird, something that he only felt when he gave Euphy an order he doesn't desire. Is this the guilt of giving an order that you do not meant? It gives a whole new meaning to "I did it but I don't want it done." Something like making an action you wouldn't like to happen anyways. The guilt of geass. But Lelouch didn't use geass. He didn't give the order of absolute command. So this isn't the guilt of geass. Maybe it's just pure guilt itself.

The poor redhead still stood frozen. Emotionless, she was.

The ghetto was silent. It was serene. You can hear some birds chirping from the top of the construction zone. You can hear some leaves whistle. Wait... how did leaves got here? The beautiful melody made by the falling grains of sand and gravel. There was harmony. A rare thing that happens in the ghetto. Usually, it's just destruction, humiliation, depression and agony.

Maybe these two made something harmonious that brightened the place of depression of the Elevens.

Suddenly, Kallen faced Lelouch directly with her blue eyes frozen on his. Lelouch stopped from his steps. 'I didn't made an error, did I?' he thought. Kallen opened her mouth to say one question that the answer she is clearly aware of. "What did you just do to me?"

Lelouch stared at her fiery blue eyes. When staring at her eyes, he felt anger, distrust, hurt, comfort, love, hate. The emotions possessed by her eyes were too much for him to name all. But he knew that those emotions he saw on her eyes are divided to two. Love and Hate.

"I..." Lelouch said to answer Kallen's question. Honestly, he doesn't have anything to say. His head was empty for answers to give. This thing happens rarely to a strategic genius like Lelouch.

His head was empty for answers but filled with failing options. He convinced himself to do this perfectly without an error, without a flaw. He did enough so an error is just too much. Now, he have to think twice, no thrice!... or even more!

'Geass her' he thought. 'I already did before. Geass won't work again.'

'Lie to her' he thought. 'No... I won't do that. Lying isn't an option now.'

'Run away' he thought. 'I can't run away from this problem.'

'Kiss her again' he thought. 'What am I?! A slutty flirt!?'

'Take her to your...' he thought 'IS THAT EVEN AN OPTION!?'

'Ask for reinforcements.' he thought. 'I'm frozen with her stare.'

'Get Rolo to geass her.' he thought. 'Where is Rolo then?'

'Tell her the truth.' he thought. 'What truth!? I've been honest to Kallen since I became Zero again.'

'About your feelings, idiot.' he thought. 'Feelings?'

'*sigh* You should stop calling Suzaku an 'idiot'. You are the idiotic one.' he thought. 'Why am I arguing with myself?'

'Because you are an idiot. Hihihihi.' he thought. 'Hey! I don't laugh like that! The evil Nunnally does...'

'Ahah! I got an idea! Ask Governor-General Nunnally for help!' he thought. 'I can't! Remember!? You must be the idiotic one!'

'Idiot.' he thought. 'Idiot!'

'Wait a minute..' he thought. 'That's it!'

Then his thoughts joined and formed one incredible idea. 'Stop being an IDIOT!'

Lelouch continued his answer to Kallen's question. "I kissed you." he said. He blushed a little with his answer. 'This sounds awkward.' he thought. "I kissed you, didn't I?"

"Why'd you do such a thing!?" she replied. Her eyes began to get watery. She still locked her gaze on Lelouch's violet eyes.

"I asked for comfort from you... and well... I got carried off." Lelouch said. He faced Kallen away as he realized what he have done. The embarrassment the chaotic evil order caused him made him face away.

"Nonsense." Kallen said. She rubbed her eyes to keep the tears from falling. "I will follow Zero to the very end and follow his very order 'till death... but that doesn't mean I'll be your lust slave!" she replied.

Lelouch sort-of smirked at her final statement. Lelouch replied to Kallen, but he still faced away from her. "Why would I want you as my lust slave? And why do you think I even need or want one?" he asked her.

"You're getting too far ahead of yourself." he continued.

Now, it's time for Kallen to be embarrassed. Kallen faced away from Lelouch. Her sobby eyes became the angry fiery eyes Lelouch or Zero often sees.

"Well..." Kallen began. "I can comfort you but... you seriously don't have to kiss me." she said in absolute disgust.

Lelouch laughed a little. "You're afraid that your beloved leader kissed you?"

Kallen blushed and said "I-It's not like that..."

"It's obvious."

"It isn't!"

"It is."

The conversation changed dramatically from a sobby emotional one to a useless argument that drives a certain redhead insane. May destruction guide you, Kallen Kozuki.

"You did blush a little, see." Lelouch said as he poked Kallen's cheek, which made Kallen blush more and her angry eyes, angrier.

"Don't touch my face!"

"I just demonstrated that you really are blushing..."

"But still! Don't touch me!"

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Pervert!"

"Hey! I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"I'm not like those from Ashford!"

"Oh really?"

"If I am a pervert, I would have raped you when I saw you naked at your shower or whenever I see C.C. in her undergarments or when Shirley tried to kiss me or maybe when the girls... oh sorry, should I continue?"

"The hell is wrong with you! You said... ugh nevermind! Those are all false statements made by a perverted liar!"

"What? Those are true... especially you in the shower, you definitely remember that, right?"

"Lelouch!"

"I thought I was Zero?"

"Urgh!"

"You know Kallen, you're annoying."

"Like you are not."

and the argument went on...

"Ugh... so are you getting back to being Zero or not."

"Officially, I'm still your leader."

"I know."

"And your order isn't done yet."

"Huh?"

"What do you mean by 'huh'? You didn't comfort me."

"You mean a kiss wasn't enough!?"

"Basically, I just kissed you. A kiss doesn't mean you've comforted me."

"So what do you want me to do now oh Mr. Zero our beloved leader?"

"I said comfort me."

"In what methods?"

"You sound perverted there."

"Oh Mr. Zero, our perverted beloved leader, what can I do for you?"

"*sigh* Kallen, stop being sarcastic. It's annoying."

"What do you want me to do?"

"What you want to do with me. As long as it soothes my depression and comforts me."

"Like whacking you with a stick? How does that sound?"

"Stop the sarcasm Kallen."

"Can I give you a kiss."

"Your choice."


Author's Note

Sorry that I confused sanity with insanity. Sane misunderstanding already corrected!