The swaying of the branches in the cool autumn breeze made the boy shiver. He felt a tremor fear crawly down his spine. That overbearing emotion that seemed to follow him everywhere he went, the heated stare that burned into his back, and finally the words that seemed to flow with the wind.
How've you been?
Fine.
Are you lonely?
Absolutely.
Do you want me?
Like you'd never know.
He stared up at the night sky and sighed once more, like a love-struck first-timer. The stars seemed so bright where he lay. Under the open sky, where there were no boundaries to the sights, nothing except perhaps the eye's misinterpretation of blurred images.
The cool grass beneath his body caressed his curves with a silky smooth touch; it invited sleep to drug his mind with such appealing ideas. But he couldn't leave his job to unconsciousness yet.
He needed to come up with some sort of solution to his problems.
But as usual, everything just seemed to become more complicated when he finally came up with an exit to the suffering.
Example 1: When he'd left to gain more power to protect the love of his life.
Outcome: He'd been deceived by the snake-bastard. And he'd nearly lost his body, mind, and heart to those coerce words.
All of which had been in vain, in the end; because now he was lying outside of Konoha and wondering what to do about his dobe being so preoccupied with his missions.
Example 2: When he'd finally met up with said love, he'd tried to relieve the earth of that boy's existence.
Outcome: He'd caused the rift that had already separated them from his departure to become larger. And he'd found another enemy in his battle for the jinchuuriki's heart, the former Black Opts member, Sai.
Internally, he cursed his fate. It royally sucked.
As if his suffering as a child wasn't enough, he was now doomed to fail in his adult life. He was destined to fail from the start. The incessant sighing that seemed to be the only thing that came out of him in the recent days had begun to get on his nerves. But what else could he do? He was far too much of a coward to try and fix anything again. But fear should have been reason enough for his stress.
How could he get what he wanted without surrendering to the risks that life was far too pleased to send his way?
He couldn't very well flat out say, 'Dobe, I love you. Please marry me. I don't want to ever lose you.'
Firstly, and foremost, he had not been readmitted into the village, despite his blatant proclamation of having changed his allegiance. Well, not exactly.
Instead, he was building his ways through the minor community service jobs and low rank missions. It was demeaning, and if he weren't Uchiha Sasuke the traitor and once-follower of Orochimaru, he probably would have objected to such open humiliation.
But he was Uchiha Sasuke the traitor and once-follower of Orochimaru. And this demeaning was nothing short of less than he deserved. He shouldn't be complaining when all he really wanted was Naruto's acknowledgement.
Secondly, the blonde was still treating with the same enmity as he had when they'd had their first confrontation in those two years.
Not a single word had been passed between the two of them, and the raven began to wonder if perhaps the kitsune had decided to move on. That would hurt. To know that the love of one's life, or more precisely, one's reason for living, had suddenly given up on entertaining the idea of bringing one back.
To know that one was once again alone in a world that'd he'd seen as his enemy nearly all of his life.
And that there was no chance of any savior this time.
Sasuke glared for a moment at the darkness, feeling as though maybe it was intruding on his panic moment.
What do you want from me?
Everything. I want to know why.
Why what?
Don't be such a bastard. Bastard.
I want you. So badly that I ache with it everyday. Can't you understand that?
The Uchiha was met with a chuckle. He didn't realize that it came from his own mouth. That the deprivation of human interaction had become his weakness and that he was talking to himself.
But what else could he do?
He had suddenly become a pariah from the only one he wanted attention.
But he felt deep down that those conversations that he held with himself in the darkest hours of the morning could truly heal him. He had complete confidence that he could carry those conversations with Naruto if he could manage to get a word in.
The raven could imagine himself saying those exact words, maybe with the kit adding in a few expletives and not being so calm with his responses, and then what?
The unknown. That future that frightened him.
The fact that he didn't know what would happen if he were to be rejected even further by the one he loved.
And why did he continue to hurt himself? Why did he stay regardless of the fact that he knew he could never have Naruto?
Oh, right. Because I'm an idiot.
And that was the only reason. No matter how much suffering seemed to go on, he couldn't very well run away. And it wasn't just the fact that he was Uchiha Sasuke. No, that wasn't the only reason. It was also because he was addicted. And because, that pain felt like home.
We search all our lives for a release from the past
and happiness is our only goal when we settle
in that state of mind
But the branches that we were born to
always bring us back
to our roots
--U R Darkest's Pawn--
It's my birthday people. So I'm in a mood for giving. Hope you enjoyed it.
Please review as my gift. It will mean so much to me.
