In the decimal-sized Mini Coupe that that dumb ass heifer Persephone talked Pervy Mervy into renting, we find One and Two cramped into the backseat; Two is marveling over the fascinating invention that is the automatic window. One is getting sick and fucking tired of him pushing that damned button up and down every 2 friggin seconds…

"How long do I have to stay in this stupid car with this demented retard?" One shouted impatiently.

"Did someone call me?" asked Two.

"Not very long", replied Persephone," just let us get the hang of this blasted map. How is that coming along my dear?"

"Magnificently, mon amie!" turns map upside down, then right side up again mutters under breath Ummm…which way is west?

Seeing that he was surrounded by complete idiots, One retreated and leaned back in his seat, trying to achieve leg room. Meanwhile, Two was still occupied with that button.

That son of a bitch really makes my ass itch. Hey! I rhymed! slaps forehead Distractions!... now… how do I deal with him?

Then an idea hit him.

The cigarette lighter!

One then pushed down on the lighter conveniently located at the side of the door and waited for it to heat up. When it was hot enough, he took it out of the holder and pressed it into Two's left eye.

while playing with button "Rubber ducky, you're the one! You make bathtime lots of fu-AHHHH! Oh shit! My fucking eye," shouted Two in excruciating pain, "Why the hell did you do that! I was just sitting here quietly and-"

"Sitting there quietly my ass!" One replied.

"Both of you shut the hell up and be quiet!" commanded Pervy Mervy and Persephone in unison.

After a few threats of homicide, silence fell and the Coupe cruised down the interstate headed for God-knows-what…

To be continued…