Well hello!! Im sorry this isn't any of my other stories and that I have once again begun a new one but I couldn't help myself I LOVE Monty Python! And I might do The Life of Brian too! What fun that would be! Actually I shouldn't even be writing this cause I have exams so I should be revising but meh! When inspiration hits what you gonna do?!

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Evolution OR Monty Python's the Holy Grail - yes this is the actual one I just sorta twigged the names to fit in with the X-men! Cool huh! Hehe!

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X-men Evolution and The Holy Grail

Bayville 932AD

On the misty barrens of Bayville, in the time of King Scott of the round table, on a random field in the middle of nowhere the mist was thick and nothing could be seen but bit pointy piece of wood that has a skeleton on top of it. The distant sounds of horse hooves could be heard and as the sound got closer and closer you could begin to make out a silhouette of someone. Until finally through the mist the outline of that someone became more identifiable as King Scott himself. However it also became obvious the closer he got that he is not in fact riding a horse but someone is following him hitting coconut shells together, creating a horse trotting noise.

"Whoa there!"

He said as he held up his arm to slow his 'horse'. Looking up to the distance he could make out a castle, and with that he made his way towards it. As he arrived he once again slowed down and looked up the side of the huge castle wall with no possible hope of getting in, that is until a soldier popped his head over the top.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"It is I, Scott, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Bayvillian's, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all Bayville!"

"Pull the other one!"

"I am,... and this is my trusty servant Toad.

We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master."

"What? Ridden on a horse?"

"Yes!"

"You're using coconuts!"

"What?"

"You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together."

"So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--"

"Where'd you get the coconuts?"

"We found them."

"Found them? In Bayville? The coconut's tropical!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, this is a temperate zone."

"The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?"

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

"Not at all. They could be carried."

"What? A swallow carrying a coconut?"

"It could grip it by the husk!"

"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut."

"Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Scott from the Court of Camelot is here?"

"Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?"

"Please!"

"Am I right?"

"I'm not interested!"

"It could be carried by an African swallow!" Another voice could be heard.

"Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point."

"Oh, yeah, I agree with that."

"Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!" Scott yelled getting annoyed at the blatant disrespect he was being shown.

"But then of course African swallows are non-migratory." The soldiers continued completely ignoring Scott.

"Oh, yeah."

Sighing Scott gave up completely so turned around and 'rode' away as the two soldiers continued their conversation.

"So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway."

"Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?"

"No, they'd have to have it on a line."

"Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!"

"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?"

"Well, why not?"

~~~

In another part of Bayville not so far away was the village that was completely mud obsessed. There was no road clear for people to walk down only a mud that lay between the grime filled houses. Within the centre of this so called 'street' was an open cart completely covered in dead bodies and being wheeled by two men. The cart master stood to the side walking along side it as he hit a triangle with a spoon and screamed.

"Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!"

A man came out from the street and dumped another dead body on the steadily growing pile.

"Ninepence."

He took the money and proceeded forward once more.

"Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!"

A man walked towards the cart master with a body over his shoulder causing the cart to stop.

"Here's one"

"Ninepence."

"I'm not dead!" Came a cry from the old man on the costumers shoulder.

"What?" Confused the cart master looked at the costumer suspiciously.

"Nothing. Here's your ninepence."

"I'm not dead!" The dead person cried again.

"'Ere. He says he's not dead!" The cart master stated whilst looking at the so called 'dead man' once more.

"Yes, he is." The costumer defended.

"I'm not!"

"He isn't?"

"Well, he will be soon. He's very ill."

"I'm getting better!" the 'dead' man pleaded once more.

"No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment."

"Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations"

"I don't want to go on the cart!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby."

"I can't take him." the cart master stated again.

"I feel fine!"

"Well, do us a favour." the costumer insisted.

"I can't."

"Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long."

"No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today."

"Well, when's your next round?"

"Thursday."

"I think I'll go for a walk" the dead man pleaded once more.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?"

"I feel happy. I feel happy." The 'dead' man began to sing in his last attempt, though in vain as the Cart master hit the 'dead' man on the head with the spoon he was using for the triangle so that he was unconscious.

"Ah, thanks very much."

"Not at all. See you on Thursday" The customer dropped the 'dead' body on the cart.

"Right. All right."

At that moment King Scott came 'riding' through the village straight past them not taking any heed to what was going on around him.

"Who's that, then?" The customer asked as they watched him ride away

"I dunno. Must be a king."

"Why?"

"He hasn't got shit all over him."

~~~

Scott continued his quest for knights to join him at Camelot and continued to ride towards the local castle. Whilst riding through a field where people were randomly digging through the mud he saw someone pulling a cart so decided ask for some assistance.

"Old woman!" He called to them, they turned to look at them but continued to walk like he had better things to do.

"Man!"

Scott caught up to the man seeing that it really was a man and not a women and that he had an eye patch over his right eye.

"Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?"

"I'm thirty-seven."

"I-- what?"

"I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old."

"Well, I can't just call you 'Man'."

"Well, you could say 'Nick'"

"Well, I didn't know you were called 'Nick'"

"Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?"

"I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked--"

"What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!"

"Well, I am King!"

"Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh?…."

Nick stopped walking and put down the cart he was pulling and turned to face Scott and began to lecture him.

"….By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the--"

A very dirty women cam crawling through the mud not paying attention to who Nick was talking to and began picking up mud.

"Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here."

Looking up she finally notices Scott.

"Oh! How d'you do?"

"How do you do, good lady? I am Scott, King of the Bayvillian's. Who's castle is that?"

Looking down at the mud confused for a second she looks back at Scott again.

"King of the who?"

"The Bayvillian's"

"Who are the Bayvillian's?"

"Well, we all are. We are all Bayvillian's, and I am your king."

Nick walked down and joined the women as she started to pick up the mud in her hands and put it into a pile to the side of her.

"I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective."

"You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--" Replied Nick who began piling mud in a pile with the women.

"Oh, there you go bringing class into it again."

"That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--"

"Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?" Scott interrupted their discussion in annoyance, this quest didn't seem to be going quite as he had hoped.

"No one lives there." The women replied.

"Then who is your lord?" Scott asked confused.

"We don't have a lord."

"What?"

"I told you." Nick replied smugly "We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,…"

"Yes."

"...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting…"

"Yes, I see"

"...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,…"

"Be quiet!" Scott was beginning to get annoyed at the complete lack of respect towards him, he was King after all.

"...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--"

"Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!"

"Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh." The women asked unbelievable.

"I am your king!" Scott stated angrily.

"Well, I didn't vote for you."

"You don't vote for kings."

"Well, how did you become King, then?"

"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Scott, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!"

"Listen." Dennis began "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

"Be quiet!" Scott yelled angrily, he'd had enough of this Nick.

"Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"

"Shut up!"

"I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

Getting really annoyed Scott walked over to Dennis, through the mud, and picked him up by his collar.

"Shut up, will you? Shut up!"

"Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system" Nick yelled as loudly as he could as he leapt around in Scott's grip.

"Shut up!"

"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" Nick began screaming at the top of his voice causing Scott to let go in aggravation and storm off back towards Toad.

"Bloody peasant!" He muttered whilst walking up through the mud.

"Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?" Nick continued to yell at the top of his voice.