Disclaimer: I may own copies of the Super Smash Brothers games, but I own no rights to the content whatsoever!
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages… of Princess Peach.
"…I hate you, y'know." A familiar blond was sitting in the control seat, putting her hair into a ponytail. "If only I had my plasma canon, but no-o-o-o, I had to leave the thing on fricken Talon IV!"
Another blond was leaning on the back wall, wearing pink battle armor, a pink dress hanging on the door next to her. "I needed a ride, and there's no way I'm riding with Captain Falcon!"
A visible look of disgust flashes on the pilot's face. "Ugh... Okay, I'll let you off for that one. But it's cramped in here, Momo, and your dress takes quite a bit of space."
"Please don't call me that. How long until we get there anyway?"
The pilot presses a button on the control panel, and a familiar suit of Chozo armor materializes around her body. She places the ship on autopilot, and gets up. "Hey, Peach, hand me that helmet would you?"
Peach hands her the helmet hanging on the wall. "Suiting up huh, so we're finally here, than, Sammy?"
Samus locks the helmet into place. "Yeah, Bowser's fortress on Corneria. Why are we coming all this way anyway?"
Peach straps on her own helmet. "You wanna know? It's kind of a retarded story if you ask me, but I'll tell anyway.
--
One week ago...
Princess Peach's castle, staple of the mushroom kingdom, target of multiple Bowser attacks. It's also, the home of Princess Peach, daughter of the monarch of the Mushroom kingdom. A Bob-omb runs through the wall, creating a pile of rubble in the main hall. A stomping sound is heard as a large silhouette appears through the hole. "Heh heh heh, Hey Princess! You may as well pack your things and come with Big Daddy Bowser!"
Silence. "…Where you at, woman!" Bowser tromps up the stairs to the Princess's bedroom. "Huh, wazziss?"
There's a note taped to the Princess's door:
Dear Mario,
DO NOT go and kick Bowser's ass! Went to Hyrule to visit Zelda and Link, and I might stop by Kanto to see Ash and Pikachu on the way back. I'll be back by Tuesday, try not to miss me too much.
Princess P.
Bowser rips up the note on the spot. "She thinks I can't beat Mario?! I'll show that wench!" Bowser instantly rampages out of the castle in the direction of Yoshi's island.
--
No later than twenty minutes later, Peach comes stumbling through the door, being supported by Daisy and Kirby. "Had just a bit too much to drink there, huh Peach?"
Peach latches onto Daisy in a death embrace. "I love you daisy, y'know that? You're good to me, buy lots of Sake! Hehehehe!"
Kirby makes his communication attempt. Daisy nods. "You're right, next time, we go easy on the parties." They walk up to Peach's room where there's a note on the door.
Hey, bitch! Mario is mine! I proved that I can take him out! If you wanna see for yourself, I'll be waiting here at my fortress!
Signed: Who do you think?!
Daisy and Kirby turn around, and become scared out of their minds, Peach is insanely ticked off; a bright red aura of anger surrounds her. "Um, Kirby? I think we'd better leave… NOTHING is worse than Peach when she's angry and drunk!" Peach punches a hole in the wall where Daisy's head was not 2 seconds ago. "Bowser…!" She storms downstairs, picking up her parasol on her way out. "Hey Peach, where ya goin'?"
Peach turns to her friend. "I'm going to find Bowser, and beat his misshapen skull in!"
Peach runs towards the door, and stumbles down the steps finally faceplanting into the wall next to the exit. Daisy sighs. "Shouldn't you sober up first?"
