As Wolfwood knelt in the sanctuary of the church, staring up at the large crucifix with Christ hanging there, he realized his salvation was so close and yet so far away. He used his last bit of strength to pull himself up onto his own gun disguised as a cross, clutching the bullet would in his stomach as he cringed in pain, and all of a sudden, he was flooded with a thousand emotions he couldn't remember ever feeling in his life.
He knew that he should have been reaching out to that crucifix, reaching for his God's love and forgiveness, but all he could think about was Millie. He could see her face so clearly in his mind, that beautiful smile and harmonious laugh, her sparkling eyes.
Wolfwood pounded the ground with his fist, angry that their first night together had to be their last. He remembered so clearly the night before as she had comforted him when he needed her the most. She had just held him as he cried, telling him that everything would be all right in the end.
It had been at that moment when he had finally stopped struggling with his feelings and let himself fall in love with her as his heart had been wanting to do for ages. And later, as she slept soundly, he stood by the window watching her and thinking about all that they would do together in their lifetimes. He would give her the world, he promised himself. She deserved at least that much.
I had big plans for our future
Said I'd give you the whole world somehow
I tried to make good on that promise
Thought I'd be so much further by now
Never could build you a castle
Even though you're the queen of my heart
But I've had the best of intentions from the start
Now how was he going to give her the world? Wolfwood wondered as he struggled for breath. He knew she'd be heartbroken when Vash told her that he was gone. He never wanted to hurt her that way. But then, he had to also wonder how in the world she could prefer someone like him over every other man in the world.
Millie deserved so much in life, including a wonderful man to love forever. He couldn't help but feel as though she deserved better, but at the same time, he was glad that she had chosen him after all. In only one short night of her care, he had lived a lifetime of love that he never would have known otherwise. For one night he felt like he hadn't screwed up absolutely everything in his life.
She had given him so much, had made him feel like the luckiest man alive, and he was able to give her so little in return. He hoped that after he was gone, she would know how much he loved her and how much he wanted to give her the life that she was so worthy of.
Now some people think I'm a loser
'Cause I seldom get things right
But you make me feel like a winner
When you wrap me in your arms so tight
Please tell me you will remember
No matter how much I do wrong
That I had the best of intentions all along
Coughing up blood and fighting to take his last breaths, Wolfwood remembered that morning when he had awoken to find Millie already up and about. She was her usual perky self, ready and waiting to make breakfast with ever her sweet smile.
"Good morning, sleepy head!" she had said when she noticed that he was awake. "It's about time you decided to wake up, you know. It's getting pretty late in the day, and I know Mr. Vash won't want to go anywhere without you. How about some breakfast? Let's see, we have leftover sandwiches from last night, or I could always just run downstairs and see what they have."
He had to laugh as he sat up and stretched. "Are you always this cheerful first thing in the morning?" he asked with a smile.
"Well, of course, silly!" she replied as though implying there was no other way to be this early in the day. "I've always thought it best to be up with the sun and a smile on your face. That way the day never starts out bad, and if a day doesn't start out bad, how can it possibly turn bad?"
He could only continue to smile as he said, "Iguess you're right." He then quickly stood up and began to get dressed as he said, "Millie, there's something I want you to do for me today."
"Of course," she said sweetly. "Anything at all. You just name it."
When he was completely dressed and almost ready to go, he turned around to face her and said, "Promise me that you'll stay right here in this room, that no matter what you may see or hear, you won't come out until I come to get you. Promise?"
She seemed a bit confused at first, though not that that was unusual, but she soon regained her sweet smile and said, "Sure. I promise. I'll stay right here until you come back."
He nodded and couldn't help but hug her tightly as he said, "Good. Thank you, Millie. I promise not to be gone too long, and then you and I can have that breakfast, okay?"
She nodded as well and wished him good luck as he walked out the door with his guns in tow, unaware that he was never going to return for her.
I'd give you a ring and I promised you things
I always thought we'd do
But my best laid plan slipped right through my hands
To show my love for you
And if you could read my heart
Then you'd know without exception
It was all with the best of intentions
Wolfwood could feel death creeping closer and closer, and he knew that it was about to take him whether he was ready or not. He lifted his head weakly to stare up at Christ on his cross and said, "I don't expect you to forgive me for everything I've done. I haven't exactly lived the life of a saint. But there is something that I'd like for you to do for me if it isn't too much trouble."
He groaned in pain, but quickly shook it off before continuing, "Don't let Millie cry too much. Help her to understand that even though I had to leave her so soon, I love her and will keep loving her. Of course, I don't know how she'll be able to believe that.
"All those months she was so close, and yet I never acted on what my gut was telling me to do. And then right after I finally show her how much I care about her, I have to be taken from this world."
Again, he pounded his fist on the ground and shouted, "This isn't fair! I don't want to go and leave her all alone!"
He could no longer hold the tears at bay, letting them slip down his cheeks as he pictured her in his mind once again. "I'm sorry, Millie," he said softly. "You deserve so much better than a would-be priest with nothing but his own sins to revel in. I do love you, and I hope that you find someone else who will also love you, though I doubt he'll care for you as much as I do, because that's just not possible. Please forgive me."
Unable to hold himself up any longer, he fell to the ground and closed his eyes, waiting for death to capture him. His last thoughts centered around Vash, Meryl, and especially Millie, and he hoped that they would continue to live full and prosperous lives just as he should have.
Now here I am asking forgiveness
And praying that you'll understand
Don't think I take you for granted
Oh, I know just how lucky I am
Though you deserve so much better
You won't find devotion more true
'Cause I've had the best of intentions
Oh, I've had the best of intentions
Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you
Meanwhile, Millie sat back in Wolfwood's room at the rundown motel with a sorrowful look on her face. It was almost time for the sun to go down and he still wasn't back, making her more and more worried every minute.
She had been sitting there for the past couple of hours, trying to find a loophole in what she had promised him earlier. She had promised that she would stay right there in that room, and that she wouldn't leave no matter what she saw or heard until he came back to get her. No, that was pretty ironclad. There was no way she could leave the room without breaking her promise. Of course, there was always the possiblity of taking the room with her. No, no, she thought. That, too, would be pretty hard to accomplish.
Now she was forced to pace across the window, checking outside every couple seconds to see if he was coming down the street yet. She hoped and prayed that he was all right, that he would come back soon. She didn't want them to be separated so soon after…after…last night.
Just as she was about to look out the window for the millionth time, there was a knock on her door, and Vash entered with a solemn look.
"What's wrong, Mr. Vash?" she said sweetly, trying to smile. "Is everything all right?"
He looked up at her sorrowfully and said shakily, "Millie, there's something I have to tell you."
I'd give you a ring and I promised you things
I always thought we'd do
But my best laid plan slipped right through my hands
To show my love for you
And if you could read my heart
Then you'd know without exception
It was all with the best of intentions
It was all with the best of intentions
