"I've caught myself wishing that I could forget all the horrible things you've done".

Another night of being startled awake by the same dream same as every night the one I have been haunted with for 3 years .The night I told Klaus he was capable of being saved the night my heart almost stopped and the night Klaus saved me again .Even though it had been 3 years and week since that night it still was a haunting memory that cut through my very soul .Hell I couldn't even hear the word love now without hearing his British oh so charming accent.

After he left me on that porch something in me was crushed a part of me I haven't even knew I felt was lost before it even had a chance to really begin. Weeks after the tragic death of Jeremy I was still certain Klaus would be back that man never gave up on what he wanted but months passed and nothing .There were so many losses so many threats from Silas almost half the town was lost and the Cure became the curse on our town . Many battles were fought we almost lost Bonnie to the Darkness for months due to her search for a way to bring Jeremy back but all of it was in vain. There was no way to do it without bringing back more Hell in this town. Elena went on a downward spiral her off switch stayed off for many months .When it did finally switch back on thanks to all our support around her she was a broken shell of the friend I once knew and fought so hard to protect. Many nights I would ring Stefan who had taken her along with Damon somewhere where she would be able to hear far away from the demons that always seemed to find their way into our town. Stefan would always keep me up to date with her progress but a part of me was selfish and I wanted to ask so bad if he had any new from Klaus or from Rebekah or Elijah but I knew the chances were zero .Klaus had buried his brother and left with them they wanted nothing to do with Silas the loss of Kol made Klaus see it was time he protected his family and honoured Kol wish leave Silas the bloody hell alone. Time moved so slow and I had to try so hard to stay above all the pain we had seen and witnessed for my friend sake .I kept in contact with Tyler I never knew where he was just in Case Klaus ever came back and tried to find out from me but he was doing well and I was truly happy for him. Slowly we drifted apart barley speaking once a week sometimes the people you loved once outgrow you and your heart. However my heart had been ruined Klaus showing his compassion had shown me he would do anything for me and now I had lost him forever I feared. It was like a slow illness that crept up on me by the time I finally accepted I had feelings for that frustrating perfect man I let him go a little bit more broken then when I first met him. How many nights did I now spend in my room staring at my bed so many memories here but only one I kept thinking about? The night he came into my house to save me from the bloody wounds he compelled Tyler to bite into my flesh .I was so certain he was there to kill me all I his actions I had witnessed before gave me no reason to think differentially. I wanted to get up and smack him for the cheek he had to walk into my room like he belonged there."Are you hear to kill me" a small grin breaks on my face at that memory the way his face was so hurt .I thought he was just playing the jerk but then he started talking to me like he trusted me talking about his feelings his memories and trying to make me laugh even in all the despair I felt. Then the Alpha male that he liked to claim he was had to utter those damned words the words that made me see me and what I wanted in a whole new light. He had to confess to me that he once thought about dying once or twice he had to share me in on his little secret "there's a whole world out there for you " he had to change me didn't he that's the type of man he was . I realised I wanted it all I wanted to live those thousand birthday I wanted to see those works of art and I wanted to live. All I had to do was ask and somehow I didn't fear him anymore I suddenly realised he was just a man just a man who found it hard to not mess things up wasn't I the same sometimes .Finally I choked out those words "I don't want to die "and before I knew it was being cradled into his arms and being told to "there you go sweetheart have at it" I barley heard him wish me happy birthday all I could feel was euphoria I was alive I had everything to live for and though I didn't admit it at the time to myself his blood was l the most relaxing and nourishing thing I had ever had before and after I died. Then the next day I found his little black box with the most amazing Diamond bracelet I had ever seen. Here we go I thought Caroline Forbes what have you gotten yourself into now.