hey there! this is my first homestuck fic, so be easy on me. uvu
it's a humanstuck au and is primarily gamkar but includes tons of minor ships blah blah blah
it should be obvious why this is rated m
i plan on updating this one regularly! i already have it 100% planned out so i just have to actually write the chapters!
all reviews / favourites / follows are appreciated! c:
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]
CG: GAMZEE HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET ON SO WE CAN VIDEO CHAT.
CG: SCHOOL STARTS SOON AND YOU KNOW I CAN'T BE LATE JUST BECAUSE I WAITED FOR YOU TO GET YOUR SLOW ASS UP.
I sighed, staring at the screen of my laptop, waiting for Gamzee to reply. I had been dating this idiot online for six months now and we always started our mornings like this. I would get up about an hour or two earlier than I needed to in order to get ready for school and wait around for my boyfriend to get up and video chat with me before I left to actually go to the hell that was school. It was actually really stupid because I could easily just video chat with him once I got back from school and save myself some sleep, but no. For some reason, I felt the need to talk to this guy every morning and see his stupidly cute messed up morning hair through a shitty just-barely 360p camera. He made me happy in the mornings, I guess, which I needed, considering that I was definitely not a morning person.
TC: AlRiGhT mOtHeRfUc;KeR, i'M uP.
TC: :o)
CG: GOOD. I'M GONNA START THE CALL NOW AND YOU BETTER ANSWER.
I smiled a little as I quickly hovered my cursor over the 'Start Video Call' button and clicked it. It rung twice before Gamzee answered, smiling back at me with his hair a trainwreck, just like I liked it.
"Good Morning, Karkles." Great, he just had to use that stupid excuse of a nickname he gave me, first thing in the morning.
"Don't call me that, ugh!" I groaned, my smile quickly turning into a scowl. Gamzee just laughed and moved closer to the camera so I could see him better. He didn't have his ridiculous clown make-up on in the mornings, which was another reason I maybe liked him better in the morning. "It's a dumb nickname and I, quite frankly, hate it."
"Aww, nah brother, you know you all up and love it when I call you that." Gamzee did a lame excuse for a wink at me and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Gamzee would try to be seductive or sexy or whatever and every single time he failed horribly. It was actually kind of funny, how bad he was at it. It was like he didn't have the ability to be anything more than a silly asshole.
We chatted through webcam for about an hour straight, like normal, until I looked down at the time and frowned. It was 8 AM now, which meant I had to hang up so I could catch the bus to school.
"Fuck, I have to go now, Gamzee." I sighed, watching as my boyfriend frowned too, except he did that weird clown frown thing where it was more of a happy frown and it was actually too weird for me to explain, fuck it.
"Well give a brother a motherfucking kiss before you all up and leave, motherfucker." Gamzee smiled again and leaned into the camera, pressing the lips against his lens. I hesitantly moved close to my lens too and kissed it, feeling instantly stupid afterwards. I just kissed a goddamn camera, so stupid. But it made the clown happy and so I just laughed it off and waved at him before hanging up. 'Time to go to my hell-hole of a school', I thought to myself.
I quickly grabbed my things and walked out of my room, seeing my brother in the living room doing whatever the fuck he does, I could really care less. His name was Kankri and he was an annoying nineteen year-old prick. I really couldn't stand him because he talked way too much about things that nobody cared about and because he was always watching my movement, telling me to 'watch my language, you might trigger someone' or 'don't wear that shirt, it has offensive language on it that may trigger someone'. Trigger, trigger, trigger. I swear that was his favourite word and it got on my goddamn nerves. Unfortunately for me though, I had to deal with him all the time at home because our dad died last year, leaving him to be the legal guardian in the house. It was stupid, I was smart enough to take care of myself, I didn't need that asshole sticking around any longer. But since I was only sixteen, I could not legally live by myself, which was also stupid. Everything was stupid.
"Have a nice day at school, Karkat." Kankri said, not even looking at me as he did because he was too busy typing something. I just waved and absconded the apartment, seeing my neighbors conveniently leave at the same time as me.
I lived in a decently sized two-bedroom apartment in the middle of San Francisco, right to the left of my two classmates, John and Dave. My apartment number was 6 and theirs was 7, making us have the two apartments right in the middle of the hallway. We would usually wait for the bus together and walk home together too after school since we lived so close.
John happily waved at me, greeting me as usual in his cheery tone. "Karkat! Morning, dude!" He chimed. His boyfriend Dave did his stupid cool-kid wave at me and I just glared at him. God he pissed me off. He always thought he was just the coolest thing on earth and it was annoying. He was just about as cool as a fucking pizza roll right out of the microwave. Pizza rolls were scorching when they came out of the microwave, not cool. ...You probably took that the wrong way, I was not calling Dave hot, okay? He's just... not cool.
"Hey guys." I finally said, starting down the hallway with them. We all stood together as we waited for the elevator to come up, which only took a split second considering that we lived on the second floor. The first floor had no rooms on it, it was simply just a big lounge that nobody ever used.
When we had all made it to the bus stop, I quickly claimed the entire bench, throwing off my backpack to the right of me so that neither John or Dave could sit there. I made sure that they never sat on this bench anymore because last time they did they just spent the whole wait making out with John straddled on Dave's lap. It was gross and I had no idea how they had the indecency enough to just sit in public and make out as if they were home alone together. It always made me jealous, seeing how close they were. They got to touch eachother everyday, hold hands, and kiss whenever they wanted to. It wasn't fair, I could never do those things with my boyfriend because he lived two hours away and the closest I could ever get to that was our silly camera kisses.
Gamzee lived all the way in Sacramento, a fucking boring city that also happened to be in California as well. Even though we both lived in the same state, we never got to meet because neither of us had licenses. I didn't because, well... I failed every fucking driving test I took. The teachers would always tell me that I was 'way too impatient and drove too fast' and that my test answers were usually way off. It wasn't my fault that when the question asked me what to do when waiting for pedestrians to walk through a crosswalk I put 'honk at them until they hurry their slow fuckasses up'. I just really hated fill-in-the-blank tests because apparently whatever answer I wrote ended up being wrong. I wanted my license so fucking bad but because of those tests, I never got it.
And Gamzee, on the other hand, well he was 18 years old, I had no idea why he hadn't gotten his license yet. I actually didn't know much about him at all. All I knew was that he was finished with highschool, graduating last year, and that he had a weird obsession with clown paraphernalia. And that he made me happy for some reason. We met through facebook, ironically, since I hated that website. He sent me a message saying that he thought I was 'motherfucking cute' and that he had to add me because of that. I was weary of him at first, thinking he was another one of those idiots who saw my sexuality listed as gay on there and just wanted to bang me because I was into their gender. But no, Gamzee never even brought up the subject of sex around me and he just would listen to me rant everyday about god-knows-what. And the best part was that he actually did listen, he would comfort me when I felt down and he would cheer me up whenever I went into one of my crying fits. We grew closer and I found myself starting to like him more and more with every other time we talked. And during one of our video calls I accidentally blurted it out and Gamzee said we should date then. And to think that all happened six months ago, it was weird. It felt like yesterday when I had started dating the goofball. I loved Gamzee but I hated the distance.
The bus finally arrived and I boarded it behind John and Dave. They walked all the way to the end of the aisle, sitting in the back area where basically all of our friends sat. I sat in the seat in front of them, taking out my phone and sighing boredly as I opened up an app and started to play it. I could hear the dumbasses behind me making out again and I wanted to throw my bag at them to shut them up. Jeez, they just couldn't keep their hands off of eachother. The bus stopped twice before stopping at the pickup area that our other friend, Sollux, lived at.
I looked up and scooted over in my seat, already knowing that Sollux was going to sit next to me, as he usually did. Sollux yawned, saying good morning to all of us before he started angrily texting someone. I already knew who he must've been texting, it was the only person who made him get angry like that whenever he texted them. And speak of the devil, we were at his bus stop. I watched him strut (yes, strut) onto the bus and didn't even bother to greet him. His name was Eridan and he was a huge prick that nobody liked. He lived in the rich part of town and always carried himself as if he was better than everyone else. He bothered me, yes, but nowhere near as much as he bothered Sollux. Him and Sollux sort of had this love-hate thing going on. One minute they were arguing to no end and the next minute they were hate snogging all over the place. It was one weird-ass relationship, to say the least.
Eridan sat in the seat to the left of Sollux, already starting an argument with him that I ignored in favour of staring out the window to watch as the bus passed a bunch of houses. Our small little group of friends had been together since middle school, so we all knew eachother for a long time and we all knew when and when not to ignore eachother. This was a time when they needed to be ignored.
It was kind of funny how our group met. We all met in ninth grade in orientation. We all had a bunch of classes together and we all had one thing in common that made us all want to hang out with eachother: we were all gay. Being some of the only homosexual kids at our school who had openly come out, we got along and just turned into this small little pack of homos. The 'Fag Posse', as some people liked to call it.
It was finally lunch time and I had been waiting for it all day. I spent so long talking to Gamzee this morning that I had totally forgotten to eat, so I was starving. But I hated school lunch food so I brought my own food everyday. Today I had brought Subway, which was now cold from being in my backpack all day, but I didn't really care. Usually I would wait for the others to sit down before I ate, but not today. I was way too hungry.
By the time the other guys had came over and sat at the table I was already more than halfway done with my food. Eridan smirked at me as I ate and I just glared at him in return.
"What are you staring at me for, Eridon't?!" That was my personal nickname for this asshole because I couldn't stand him.
"Wwell don't be fuckin' rude, Kar. I'm just observin' is all." I forgot to mention that he also spoke with this ridiculously dumb accent.
"Thop tharing at kk, he doesn't like you dumbath." Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that too. Sollux had a lisp.
"Shut the fuck up Sol, I wwasn't talkin' to you!" And here we go again, the Eridan-Sollux hate war began.
They started to argue and I just toned them out, finishing my food. I grabbed for my apple juice to take a sip out of until I noticed that it was gone, my eyes quickly going straight to Dave, since I knew he was the only one who loved apple juice enough to steal mine.
"Give me back my apple juice, dickbag!" I growled, watching the blonde insufferable prick take a swig out of it.
"Okay here, you can have it back," He said, passing me the bottle. I was about to drink the rest of it until he added on "but if you drink out of it you're totally indirectly kissing me."
In annoyance, I slammed the bottle down. "What's with you guys trying to flirt with me so much today?!" Dave just laughed and John elbowed him for it.
"I don't know man, you're pretty much the only single one out of all of us, you look like you need some love in your life." Dave stated, only making me angrier.
"I have a boyfriend!" Soon, everybody's eyes moved to me, Eridan and Sollux even stopping their argument to stare at me too.
"Woah! Since when? Who is he?" John asked, smiling excitedly.
I just blushed a little and looked away. I didn't want them to find out about my relationship, it just sort of came out of my mouth. I awkwardly stayed silent for a while then finally answered, still looking away.
"His name is Gamzee, and no, he doesn't go to this school. He lives in Sacramento and we're dating online, I guess..." I could already feel it. They were judging me. All of them.
"Have you guys met before?"
"No."
John raised a brow at me, confused. "Well, how can you date some guy you've never even met before then? Don't you think that's... weird?"
"It's not weird, it's just kind of... sucky. Like I can't really be with him in person so our relationship is so limited. I just wish I could meet him just once..." I sighed, staring at John and Dave. Lucky assholes got to be around eachother 24/7 and they didn't realize how lucky they were.
"Well he lives in Sacramento, right? That's only two hours away! Just drive up and see him!"
I glared at him. He knew good and well that I didn't have a license, so I just kept glaring until he got the point.
"Oh... haha, yeah! I forgot you don't have one. Dave can take you, he has one!" I perked up a bit, quickly moving my attention to Dave again.
"You'd take me, Dave?" It was kind of pathetic how much I was hoping for him to say yes. But I just really wanted to meet Gamzee so bad, I would do anything.
Dave just sort of shrugged then gave in, nodding at me. "Yeah, sure. We can go Friday night or whatever."
Words couldn't describe how happy I was to hear that. I just smiled a little and looked down, excited as ever.
I was finally going to meet him.
I was going to meet Gamzee.
