I don't own Veep nor will I ever. No copyright infringement intended.


The morning after Amy dropped the bombshell on him, Dan knew he had to talk to her and immediately rushed over to her place. "What the fuck are you doing?" she asked upon opening the door.

"You're having my kid, Amy. We need to talk."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't expect you to be involved. I only told you because I figured you deserved the truth, but honestly, I can raise this kid on my own, Dan." Reading the results of the pregnancy test had been one of the most terrifying moments of her life but Amy was ready for this. Scared shitless but who wouldn't be?

"Don't fucking tell me what I can or can't do. I mean, yeah, I really didn't expect this and it might ruin my life, but it's my baby too, and I want to be a part of their life." He hadn't been able to sleep at all and was also scared shitless but refused to admit it to her.

"How romantic of you," Amy deadpanned as she let him in.

He sat down on the couch and smirked at her. "Hey, I was supposed to be my infertile so go, sperm, go!"

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning something about it that night. Fucking miracle baby, apparently!" Amy suddenly turned pale and rushed off towards the bathroom.

"Gross," Dan muttered to himself as he kicked his feet up on the table and waited for her to return. But when Amy didn't return after a few minutes, guilt caught up to him and he groaned as he went after her. "Need me to hold your hair back or something?"

"Fuck you, Dan," she hissed seconds before she went pale again. And as much as it disgusted him, Dan held her hair back, something she was secretly grateful for. "I hate you," Amy murmured once she was finally done.

"Aw, I hate you too," he joked right back as they were finally leaving the bathroom.

"So, how involved to do you want to be?" Amy didn't really want to talk about her pregnancy but the curiosity was getting to her. She hadn't been lying when she told him she could do it on her own, even though it was going to be a disaster because of Selina's campaign for presidency.

"Every fucking step of the way, I guess? I have no idea what I'm doing," Dan admitted. Fuck, were his palms actually sweaty? What was wrong with him?

"And you think I do? I'm the one carrying your demon spawn and this kid already hates me, I'm pretty sure. Morning sickness is the fucking worst but I'm sure pushing a baby out of my vagina will be even worse so yay!" she cried sarcastically.

He snorted. "Do you have a doctor's appointment soon or anything?" Shit, he was actually talking about going to the fucking doctor with the woman who was having his baby. How had his life turned into this disaster?

Amy nodded. "I booked an appointment with my OB/GYN for tomorrow. Guessing I'll get a fucking ultrasound or something so we can see what's currently taking up residence in my uterus."

"Great! I'll be there!" He wondered if she could see past his faked enthusiasm.

She could but faked it right back at him. "Fantastic! See you tomorrow. Now get the fuck out of my house."

"Gladly, Ames." Dan smirked at her and then left, already creating a reminder to himself about the appointment (after texting Amy to find out the time, something she had forgotten to mention before kicking him out).


True to his word (and much to Amy's surprise), Dan did show up at the doctor's the next morning for her appointment. "Figured you would have cut and run by now," she snarked, glad he hadn't been lying and thankful he was there.

Dan shrugged. "Nah, I'm in this."

"Sure you are." Amy still expected him to freak out and bolt any minute now. She wouldn't be surprised if he paid child support, though. Wouldn't want to fuck up parenthood too badly.

"I am," he insisted, gritting his teeth. While he understood why she doubted him (fuck, he was even doubting himself), it was still annoying as fuck.

They were interrupted from their brewing argument (thank God) when the doctor came in and asked a shitload of questions about their health. Then it was time for the ultrasound and Amy grabbed Dan's hand without even thinking about it. He surprisingly did not let go. And then they saw their child (and heard its heartbeat) for the first time. "Wow," she murmured.

"Holy fucking shit. That's our kid in there," Dan whispered in awe (he'd deny it later, even though Amy made fun of him for it numerous times, even in front of their co-workers after they found out she was pregnant. Needless to say, everyone gave them shit for having a baby together).

"This is real. It's actually fucking happening." Amy had known this before but now she was truly processing it. She was pregnant with Dan Egan's baby and was about to be a mother. The fuck.

"Yup." They both thanked the doctor and then headed back to his place in a daze.

"Irrefutable proof that you knocked me up," Amy finally joked about ten minutes later.

"Yeah." He really didn't know what else to say because it was finally hitting him. He was about to have a baby with Amy Brookheimer, a woman he was kinda sorta maybe in love with and also hated.

"We should talk to Catherine and Marjorie. They've just been through this and can help!" Amy immediately texted them to get the fuck over to Dan's place immediately because they were needed.

Catherine's jaw dropped when she found out the news and she was suddenly thankful Marjorie was holding their son. "You're pregnant with his baby. This is a thing that's happening.

"Yes, and we need your advice," Amy replied impatiently.

"We'll help you in any way we can," Marjorie promised. She couldn't wait to watch this trainwreck unfold.

Catherine leaned over and kissed her wife before dropping a kiss on the baby's forehead. "We will. Anything you need, we'll be there. Maybe our kids will be best friends!" she cried in excitement.

"Is his name really Little Richard?" Dan asked them.

Amy glared at him for the non-sequitur even though she really wanted to know too. "Nah, we just let Mom call him that. His legal name on the birth certificate is Caleb Richard," Catherine answered.

"And we really didn't want Richard as part of his name in the first place but you know how Selina is," chimed in Marjorie. She desperately wanted to tell her mother-in-law off but her wife refused to let her. At this point, she was just waiting for Catherine to snap and finally tear into Selina.

Dan and Amy both nodded their heads in agreement. "So, we'll probably be bothering you at all fucking times of the day. Just figured you should know now so we can apologize in advance. You're probably busy with Little Richard," Amy told them.

They both glared at her since they were actually calling the baby by his first name. "That's fine with us," Catherine finally answered after being distracted by Caleb for a minute or so.

"Thanks, I guess. Bye baby Richard!" Dan waved at the baby and ignored the looks of anger on Catherine and Marjorie's faces. Both he and Amy had been doing it on purpose and while they were thankful to the new parents, they still wanted to fuck with them because it was so much fun.

Selina was surprisingly supportive of them after Amy finally told her (although the presidential candidate had already guessed because of her weight gain). "You let him touch you and knock you up?" she questioned, looking over at Dan.

"Right fucking here!" He threw his hands up in the air as Amy snorted.

"Be nice, Mom," scolded Catherine as she entered the room with Marjorie and Caleb in tow.

"I was being nice, Catherine. Not my fault that you just didn't realize it." Selina just shrugged at her daughter and sighed before turning to Dan and Amy. "Anyway, fucking congratulations. Hope this doesn't ruin my campaign! But I'm happy for you and will be there for you if you need me at all. "

"That went better than expected," Amy admitted.

"We told you it would," Dan pointed out.

"Shut the fuck up, Dan."

"Stop fighting or you'll upset the baby," Catherine told them, finally stepping in. Marjorie grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

They both looked around the room in confusion. "Little Richard isn't here," Dan pointed out.

Both Catherine and Marjorie rolled their eyes. "We were talking about your baby. Stop arguing! Work your shit out before this kid is born," she ordered.

"She's probably right," Amy reluctantly admitted once they were left alone.

"Yeah, probably but fuck it." That was Dan's response to pretty much anything these days.

But they tabled their numerous arguments and decided to let the subject drop for now.


Amy took full advantage of Dan's generosity and forced him to go out and get her food when she had cravings. He complained about it every single fucking time but she wasn't going to let this newfound power go to waste. She was six months pregnant when he finally got tired of all the late night texts and just moved in without talking to her. "You didn't even fucking ask, Dan!"

"But isn't this better, Amy? Now you don't have to text me. You can just wake me the fuck up and force me to do whatever the fuck it is you want now. It's ten times easier!" And maybe he was a little worried about her but he'd keep that to himself.

Amy hated to admit it but he had a point. "Ugh, fine. But clean your shit up because I'm not fucking doing it."

"Fine with me!"

And that was that.


Three weeks away from her due date, Amy broke down during an event for Selina and hid in the bathroom. A worried Dan kicked in the bathroom stall because he was panicking and immediately breathed a sigh of relief upon noticing she wasn't injured or anything else bad his mind was conjuring. "What the hell!" she shrieked.

"You scared me, Ames. This just another mood swing or what?"

"No. I'm just scared and it all burst out of me at once. Fuck!" If she had been able to see her feet, Amy would have kicked the shit out of something. But at this point, she even needed help standing up, something Dan did with glee as he made fun of her for it.

He helped her stand up and pulled her into his arms. "Don't expect this to happen again, Ames."

"I'm not expecting it to but you're nice and warm so shut up, Dan."

"Anyway, we're down the wire and I'm freaking the fuck out too. This wasn't something we planned on but now we're rolling with it. And hey, we have our co-workers. Catherine and Marjorie have pretty supportive too! And they've stopped getting annoyed every time we refer to Caleb as Little Richard. Selina's a different story, though."

"Get to the fucking point, Dan. I'm bored," Amy interrupted, yawning as exhaustion finally set in. She was sick of being so fucking tired. The team still made fun of her for falling asleep standing at one of Selina's rallies.

Dan rolled his eyes and kissed her just to shut her up. "Neither of us have any fucking clue what we're doing but we'll figure it out and maybe fuck up the baby. It happens to everyone. But at least we'll fuck up together."

Amy considered his words for a few minutes as she finally started to calm down. "That was actually really fucking helpful. I'm confused but whatever." And then she kissed him back. Soon they were making out in the bathroom but unfortunately, a quickie was out of the question.


Just two weeks later and after nineteen hours of hell (she threatened to kill him multiple times), Amy and Dan became parents to a daughter they named Isabelle Josephine Brookheimer-Egan. "It's a long-ass name but we'll only use it when she's in trouble anyway," Amy rationalized.

"We made a pretty adorable baby but that's not a surprise considering she's half-me," Dan murmured as he watched Amy and Isabelle interact.

She rolled her eyes. "She's half me too, dipshit, so of course she's beautiful."

He looked up at her as realization hit - he had been in denial for far too long and it was time she knew the truth. "I kinda sorta am in love with you, Amy."

"Same here, Dan," she answered, enthralled by Isabelle but still thrilled by the fact that he felt the same way about her.

"I deserved that," he admitted, laughing, as he leaned down and kissed both of them. "Holy fuck, I'm a father now for real. We're taking her home with us soon."

"Yup. You ready to be fucking terrified of fucking her up together?" Amy questioned, shifting the baby around. She still hated kids and had never expected to fall in love with her daughter this soon.

The door suddenly swung up, and Selina, Catherine, and Marjorie entered the room. "So, tell me everything," Selina ordered.

"Well, Dan and I are together now, and we already told you her name." Amy wasn't surprised Selina had already forgotten, though.

"I thought you were already together? Anyway, I don't fucking care. Her name again?"

"Isabelle Josephine," answered an amused Dan as Amy's eyes darkened in rage.

Catherine saw the rant coming and stopped it in its track. "Can I hold her?"

"Little Richard's at home with Richard," Selina told them.

Amy reluctantly handed Isabelle over to Catherine and didn't even protest when Dan wrapped an arm around her. "We did good, huh?" The two of them had grown a lot closer to Catherine and Marjorie in the past few months, something that shocked all four of them.

"You did amazing. I love Caleb but I kinda want another one now," Catherine admitted.

"We'll talk about it." Marjorie wanted a few more kids too but now wasn't the time to discuss it. Besides, they could wait a little while to have another baby.

"That's fine with me." Catherine handed Isabelle back over to Amy when she started to fuss and then beamed at her wife. "I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," Marjorie told her. She couldn't imagine her life without this woman and expanding their family sounded like a fantastic idea. But again, they'd discuss it later.

"Stop being so mushy in front of our kid or she's going to expect it from us," Amy mock complained.

"Yeah, and we're not going to be that fucking mushy, especially in front of the baby." Fuck, Dan still hadn't been able to come to terms with it.

"Congratulations, again. She's cute and I can't wait to see you back at work. Let's go," Selina told her daughter and daughter-in-law.

"We'll see you later!" Both Catherine and Marjorie hugged the new parents then followed after Selina.

Amy handed Isabelle over to Dan and he couldn't help but smile. "Don't get used to it but I kinda sorta love you too, Isabelle Josephine." He then looked up at Amy with such love in his eyes she was left reeling. "Thank you for letting me be involved, Ames. You could have told me to get the fuck out at any time but you didn't."

She sniffled. "You're welcome, Dan. And you could have left at any time too but you chose to stay and that means a lot."

Amy and Dan fucked up quite a few times in the beginning but they quickly adjusted to parenthood. They even married in a civil ceremony at the courthouse just days after Selina won the election. And they were absolutely thrilled (and horrified) when Isabelle's first word was "fuck".