George loved days like these.
When the sun was blazing down onto the luminous green fields, not a cloud in the sky.
Mum was cooking in the kitchen with the windows wide open, cheerful songs spilling from the portable radio dad had brought home from work. Even Percy would emerge from his room and slip into shorts on a day like this, sure he would only sit and read under the tree, but it was a start.
George glanced at Ron, Harry and Hermione, who were doing impressions of their class mates beneath the apple tree. Hermione was wearing a low cut vest top and some shorts, he could practically see the drool slipping from of Ron's parted lips. He watched Harry do some weird dance before he turned to look at Ginny, who was learning to duel from Charlie.
"You need to keep your feet flat on the ground, if you lean backwards the force of a spell will knock you straight over, so if anything, you need to be leaning forward."
"I know what I'm doing Charlie!" Ginny growled, her hair glowing in the scorching sun light.
Charlie laughed before throwing a spell at her that knocked her to the floor. However, before she could slam into the earth below her Charlie sent a cushioning charm for her to land on.
"Hey," A voice sneaked up behind George. "What are you doing all the way over here?"
George turned around and found his twin brother standing over him, the sun shining gloriously over his toned body, setting the colour of his hair to fire.
"It's quiet?" George laughed, patting the ground next, beckoning for Fred to join him. "And Mum doesn't bother me when I'm all the way over here."
"Yeah cause she's too lazy to walk all this way," Fred smirked, sitting cross legged besides his brother.
George glanced at Fred's body, feeling his shoulder blades tighten in a way that he couldn't explain. His 'secret little fantasy' of seducing his twin was slowly but surely fighting its way up and out of George's throat.
"Have you seen Ginny trying to duel with Charlie?" George distracted himself from Fred's body by admiring Charlie's duelling skills. "She doesn't stand a chance, she hasn't been able to block one single spell yet."
"Yeah?" Fred crossed his feet and played with a strand of his red hair, twisting it around his finger. "Wanna go?"
"You what?" George looked at his brother, he would love to have a go with him. He knew it was wrong, oh so wrong, but he wasn't bothered anymore. He'd spent too many nights self harming because of his feelings, punishing himself for looking at his own twin the way he did.
But he didn't care anymore, he wanted Fred in a way that he shouldn't want Fred, and no matter how hard he tried to change his feelings, he couldn't. So he accepted that it was wrong but he also accepted that everyone had a secret that was disgusting or immoral or that would be frowned upon. He was in love, sue him.
"Wanna duel?" Fred asked, this time turning to face his brother. George stared blankly. "Y'know, fighting with magic.."
George watched Fred's lips move as he spoke, he imagined them against his own, or against something else. Those lips could do such wonderful things, he could just tell, the way you could look at someone and know if they were good in bed or not.
Fred looked like he'd be good in bed.
"Yeah sorry, I was a miles away." George laughed, shaking himself out of his daze.
God Fred was sexy in just those shorts. He wondered how much trouble he'd get into if he 'accidently' hit Fred with a spell that vanished his clothes.
The two boys stood up and moved so that they were ten meters apart.
There was a loud shriek, and the twins turned on the spot to find Ginny bald, and Charlie roaring with laughter. "I'm going to kill you!" She screamed, throwing her wand down into the grass and running at her older brother.
Charlie grabbed her flying fists and held her tightly in his arms so that she couldn't move. "Hey, hey!" He laughed, "Let me reverse the spell then," Ginny relaxed long enough for Charlie to collect his wand from the floor and undo the spell.
"I hate you," Ginny muttered, picking up her wand and storming away back towards the house. Charlie looked wounded.
"I didn't mean it Gin, I was just-" Charlie was cut off when Ginny spun around on the spot and threw a leg binding jinx at him, a mischievous grin plastered between her rosy cheeks.
"Gottcha!" She beamed, as Charlie hopped around helplessly before falling to the ground.
George flashed a smile at his twin brother, "Aren't they cute?"
Fred gave him a funny look, "George, they're brother and sister, not boyfriend and girlfriend," But there was something light-hearted in his tone, something that George decided to investigate.
"Yeah but, it's like, I bet there's loads of people around the world that fall in love with their siblings," George felt his throat constricting, what in Merlin's name was he doing? This had to be the worst way to go about hinting ever.
Besides, who ever said he was going to tell Fred how he felt? That was waaaaay down the list, in fact, it wasn't even ion/i the list. George could inever/i tell Fred how he felt, not without being lynched, hexed and stabbed. No, there was no way he would ever tell Fred.
So then what was all this hinting about? Why put himself in awkward situations in the hope that Fred might realise when he didn't even want Fred to realise?
"Are we still talking about Ginny and Charlie? Because if we are then that's disgusting," Fred raised his eyebrows, and in his head George finished with 'ibut if it was me and you then it wouldn't be/i'.
"No no, forget Ginny and Charlie, I mean in general, do you think it's.. wrong?" George really needed to shut up before he said something stupid.
"Of course it's wrong," Fred said, sitting back down on the grass when he realised the duel probably wasn't going to happen. "Everyone knows that." He finished, the same innocence in his voice as before, as though there was a hidden message and it was George's job to uncover it.
"Right. Yeah." George sat down beside his brother, knee's bent and pulled into his chest while he ripped apart strands of grass. There was a small smile on his lips. "But who wants to be like everyone else eh?"
Fred smirked, "So you're team incest then?"
George felt his breath catch in his throat, he didn't like the word 'incest', it sounded like a disease or something. He preferred to think of his feelings for Fred as a dark fantasy, a secret sin. 'Incest' was too real, 'incestuous' put him in a category with people that fell in love with their sisters and their dads and their cousins. But George's feelings weren't in that category because people didn't know about George's feelings.
He figured that as long as no one knew, no one could tell him that it was wrong, no one would disown him, and no one would think he was disgusting. He had it perfecto.
The only small problem was keeping his feelings unknown, as in, not making it obvious. He guessed directing his gaze at something other than his brother's chest would be a good place to start.
"No. I'm team go with the flow" He mused.
"Right," Fred let out a small laugh, so George guessed he hadn't gone to far, yet. "So if I came onto you, started trying to kiss you and that, you'd go with the flow?"
George's insides collapsed. His brain set on fire and he could feel the smoke clogging up inside his veins, eventually setting them on fire too.
How was he supposed to answer that? Was he supposed to say no? Of course deep down he wanted to say yes, God yes! But Fred was his brother and this was real and George had never experienced anything real before, not with this subject anyway.
George had always admired Fred from the sidelines, and that was okay as long as Fred never knew, because no one could force George to make decisions that he didn't want to make.
But now Fred was asking him a direct question that George knew the answer to in a heartbeat, but he also knew that the answer was immoral that would probably cause a commotion and possibly murder. But Fred was his twin, and George never lied to his twin, not about something important.
Was this important?
To George it was making his heart explode but to Fred it was just an idle conversation. So George thought that maybe lying in an idle conversation was okay.
Then again Fred could probably already read what was going through George's head, so George decided-
"Should I take your silence and awkward bug-eyed staring to mean you're disgusted, or that you totally want me?" Fred laughed, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows, a thin layer of sweat glistening over his body in the sunlight.
George tried to make sense of the words that were coming out of Fred's mouth, or more to the point, how to stop the words coming out of Fred's mouth. This certainly was not what he wanted, Fred was hinting at something that was a joke but was actually true and if he found out that it was true then he would.. George wasn't sure what he would do, but he didn't want to find out.
"Can we talk about something else?" George asked without thinking about what he was saying.
"Woah George," Fred gave him a look and a wary smile, "You're actually making it sound like you really do want me.."
This was too much, George couldn't take it anymore, this was far too close to exactly what he idid not/i want. Fred was getting suspicious and George had wasted a glorious summers day, of which he could of spent half naked with his brother but instead decided to fuck it up by physically telling his brother that yes, he did actually want him.
He began to walk away, but Fred, being Fred, instantly jumped to his feet.
"Where are you going?" He asked, although they both knew that that wasn't what was on Fred's mind right now.
"Inside?" George shrugged, his face already far too red. "I need the toilet," He lied.
"No you don't, you're trying to get away from me," Fred pointed out. "Why?"
Why? Maybe because this was extremely awkward and could possibly most definitely ruin everything?
George began to feel the burning of his brother's 'realisation' stare. This was going to be a long day.
"Wait a minute," Fred was clearly adding up the facts, why couldn't George just die now? "You.." He obviously couldn't finish the sentence he was that disgusted. George was tempted to pull out his wand and knock himself unconscious.
"No," George gave it a last ditch attempt, "No you've got it all wrong.."
"No I haven't," Fred's expression was unreadable, which George considered to be worse than it being furious or something.
"Fred-"
"You actually like me, really like me.." Fred stated simply.
George wondered why his feet were still on the ground and why he was still alive and oh my God could he not just die already? This was agony and Ginny and Charlie were laughing at something in the background and oh God Fred was walking over to him.
Stay calm, don't freak out, don't punch him and definitely don't kiss him.
"I'm sorry," George began to freak out. "I'm so sorry, oh God it wasn't supposed to be like this." He brought his hands to his face and pressed his palms into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I'm fucking disgusting, I know-"
"I know it's like a trait of yours or something, but can you like, not freak out for a second?" Fred laughed. Fred was laughing? Why was Fred laughing? "Are we really talking about what I think we're talking about? Because if we are this is really weird.."
George was going to be sick. No, he was, he was going to punch his brother. Maybe if he could knock him out George could pretend that it was all a dream, and if Fred said anything George could just give him a funny look and tell him to stop taking drugs.
"Look me in the eye." Fred said, placing two fingers beneath his brother's chin and lifting it up.
Fred's fiery gaze met George's frozen one.
"Do you like me," Fred took a deep breath, "In more than a.. brotherly way?"
Single worst moment of George's life?
Without a doubt.
"Are you going to hit me?" George mumbled, his skin tingling where Fred's fingers were touching him. "It's okay you can, you can hit me. I'd hit me too."
"I'm not going to hit you," Fred smiled. "Just answer the question."
"I don't want to answer the question." George pulled himself away, "Why are you doing this?"
"Why am I doing what?" Fred asked, a little more serious this time.
"Why are you asking me this?" George felt his eyes welling up, oh God, he couldn't cry, not now, not now that Fred was looking all serious and George was being all pathetic. "Why are you even considering this conversation to even mean something?"
"Because it does mean something," Fred half shouted, "George this is serious!"
"I know!" George dug his fingernails into the back of his neck, "And I've been trying to work out what to do about it for the past year and a half!"
"Year and a half?" Fred gave him a look.
"Yes, year and a half, round about." George confessed, unable to lie to his brother any longer. At least he hadn't been disowned or beaten or anything yet.
Fred stayed silent for a long time. He turned his back and began to pace in circles while George held back tears and prayed for his mind to magically make a spell that could reverse time. He wondered if Hermione still had her time travelling necklace thing, whatever it was.
"Two years.." Fred mumbled, apparently working something out in his head. "It's been two years."
George shook his head, "No, a year and a half, it wasn't as long as two years."
"No I mean, I've liked you for two years, probably more than two years actually."
"What are you talking about?" George could hardly breathe. It was so hot, and he was sweating so bad and Fred kept giving him looks of joy rather than anger, which made George very uneasy.
"I've liked you for two years," Fred repeated, "Like liked you, I mean."
Was he kidding? Was he taking the piss to make George realise how much of a sicko he was? This was horrible, or it was brilliant, George wasn't sure which.
"I know it's fucked up, it's really fucked up, but I can't even help it, I'm not going to deny it or anything, if you'd asked me how I really felt about you I would of told you, you just never asked, and then earlier, I knew what you was getting at, and I thought, this is my chance to say something, and then you said it first and I just thought, wow, after all these months of holding it back.. karma fucking loves me!"
George's mouth fell open. All this time all he had to do was walk up to his brother and say 'how much do you like me?' and it's likely he would of gotten a kiss or something in return.
"Are you bullshitting?" George asked warily, this had to be a dream or something, surely. "Because this is really fucked up."
Fred grinned and pushed his brother lightly on the shoulder, "Fuck off, you like me too! Don't make out like I'm the sicko."
"Well..You've liked me longer!" George teased, unable to believe how well he was taking all of this.
Fred held back a cheeky smile and tackled his brother to the floor. He wasn't aware of what he was doing, he just couldn't bare standing around watching his oh-so-cute brother twiddle his thumbs in a please-make-this-less-awkward sort of way. It drove him insane.
George hit the floor with a thud, his head getting an extra amount of collision with the hard ground. He gingerly brought a hand to his head and screwed up his face with pain.
"Oh God," Fred pushed himself onto his hands, although still laid on top of his brother. "Have I hurt you?"
George nodded and continued to keep his eyes tightly shut, for he feared there would be tears, and he didn't want to look like a pussy.
"Oh God, I should of used a cushioning charm, oh God, George, there's blood." Fred began to freak out, finally gathering enough will power to climb off his brother, he racked his mind for a spell that would heal the wound in a painless way.
He pulled out his wand from his shorts and pointed it at the torn skin on George's head. "Episkey," He mumbled, and within seconds the wound had healed.
George let out a sigh of relief as the pain dissolved into heat, he waited for the skin to return to a normal temperature before sitting up.
"So, what was that tackle even for?" He laughed.
Fred pulled his knee's into his chest and rested his arms loosely around them. "Didn't turn out quite as I planned," He gave a small laugh and watched Ginny and Charlie walking off in the distance, apparently Charlie had let Ginny win, because he was limping and she was jumping up and down with her fist in the air. Or maybe she had generally beat him, but he couldn't really see that happening.
"How did you plan it?" George dared himself to ask, a smile creeping onto his lips. He glanced at his brother, and Fred glanced back. They looked at each for a second before looking back down at the floor with smiles on their faces.
"I think you know how,"
"Nah, tell me." George teased, a big grin now spreading in between his rosy, freckled cheeks.
"I wanted to kiss you." Fred said with a smirk and a roll of the eyes, but as much as he tried to hide it, George could still hear the nerves rumbling in his brother's throat.
"Right," He bit his lip innocently and wondered at what point during the day everything became perfect. "Instead you gave me concussion," He laughed, and Fred opened his mouth a few times to say something but eventually settled with a sorry smile. "So typical of you. Never get the job done.." George continued with a smirk, but was cut off when Fred dived on top of him.
This time Fred made sure not to hurt him.
George beamed up at his brother, who was on top of him, holding George's hands against the floor.
Slowly but surely, George curled his fingers up in between his brothers so that they were holding hands.
Fred stopped smiling and looked deeply into George's eyes. "This is wrong," He muttered.
George placed his hands on either side of his brother's face and took a deep breath. "I don't care. At all." He smiled, and lifted his head so that their lips collided.
Fred thought he had died and gone to heaven. His lips were actually kissing George's, and George's lips were actually kissing back. He had dreamt about it for so long but not once did he think there was a chance it could really happen.
George pulled Fred down onto his chest and kissed him more passionately, finally able to let out all of the longing he had held back for so long.
