I sat in the booth and sipped my latte cheerfully. I always loved the taste of carrots and cinnamon. As I took another sip, I looked across at my partner sitting opposite me. Unlike me, he hadn't touched his donut or his coffee. "What's wrong?" I asked, "Did they get your order wrong? Do you want some of mine?"
"No I would not like any of your milkshake, Long Ears," he said, not looking up. "And no, they got my order right. I'm just trying to figure this out. Seven bank robberies in as many days and not a single piece of evidence or lead as to how they did it or who it was!" He looked up at me and gave a wily smile. "You seem to be fine however. What was that? Your fifteenth carrot in the last hour?"
"Oh shut up!" I said. "I eat when I'm bored. And nothing is as boring as watching you stare at files for an hour and a half."
"Well I think..." I was saved the witty retort from Nick by the radio strapped to my vest going off with a loud crackle.
"We've got a report of a 211 in progress happening at 432 Junebug Drive. Do y'all copy?"
"Copy that Officer Sandy. Officers Hopps and Wilde in pursuit!" I said, holding down the receiver trigger. I turned to Nick, "It's gotta be them! We need to go!"
"Let's ride!" He grinned. He jumped up, downed his coffee, grabbed the files, ran out the door, and conveniently left me to pay again. I threw down some cash and ran after him. He opened the door, I jumped in and buckled, flicking the cherries on as I did. Pedal, gas, rubber. We got there in less than 15 minutes. Pulling into the opposite driveway, we ran out of the car, tiptoed to the staircase, and signaled to each other to sneak around back. Each of us took a side and made our way to the back of the house. The door wasn't open and when Nick tried the handle it was locked. Looking everywhere for a broken window or smashed lock, I saw nothing. "I think I heard a noise!" Nick whispered. He smashed the nearest window and jumped in. I heard a bump, a crash and a click as he unlocked the door and opened it for me.
"I didn't hear a noise," I said as I walked in.
"Are you kidding me? I just made like thirty for you!" He whispered as he closed the door behind us. He locked the door with another click and turned to face me. That stupid grin would be the death of me.
"Remember the conversation we had about how being a cop means you have to follow the law?"
"Sorry what was that? I was to busy catching bad guys to hear you." I groaned with exasperation and started scoping the area. The upstairs rooms were all clean. The furniture looked intact. I went down the stairs as softly as I could. I met Nick at the bottom by the front door. Wordlessly, I gestured to the upstairs and gave him the all clear sign. He pointed to the only door in the hall that was closed and put his paw to his lips. As we tiptoed closer I heard some bumping about that I hadn't heard before. I reached out to turn that handle slowly...BAM! Nick kicked the door down for all he was worth and jumped in, weapon raised. I ran in behind him, ready to take a bullet for his reckless action but...nothing. The room was empty although the furniture was clearly not where it was supposed to be. Everything from the sofa to the rugs were pushed up against the far wall where a window was left ajar.
"Are you kidding me?" I yelled, running to the window. No luck. Whoever was trying to rob this guy's house was long gone. "What's wrong with you? We are trying to conduct a secret investigation here and you break down the door and scare the guy off!"
He shrugged. "What do you want? I thought we'd catch him in the act."
"So it's a him now? You are unbelievable!"
"So what now?"
"Now you radio in that you lost the perp!" I said.
"Yeah. That's going to happen," he said, laughing at me. I raised my eyebrow. Nick sighed. "Fine!" He pulled out his radio. "But out an APB for a suspect in a robbery. Suspect is swift as a shadow in the night and twice as slippery. He is most likely wearing some sort of clothing and is definitely alive. Over." He grinned again. "Satisfied?"
"The fact that anyone would let you own a pencil, let alone a gun, blows my mind," I commented.
"I've been called unbelievable from time to time," Nick agreed. I rolled my eyes. The police department must have been really desperate the day he walked in. Either that, or they had a quota.
"Not that there's any point now, but do you wanna finish checking the place out?" I asked. Nick shrugged.
"Eh. I don't know. This room stinks like old fish. Didn't you notice? I felt it in the hallway too. I think that a bear must live here. Besides, Noser and his pack'll rope this place off for us while they bring the search equipment down. Might as well wait."
I groaned. "Not Noser!"
"What is your beef with Noser anyway? He loves you!"
"That's the problem! He won't leave me alone! He's asked me out like two times already this week and it's not even Thursday!"
"Awww!" Nick moaned, clasping his hands together and making a ridiculous simpering smile. "You two would be great together!"
"I may get fired for shooting you but I'm pretty sure no one at the precinct would hold it against me if I tased you!" Nick considered this for a second.
"Noser told me he wants at least nine kids. As a rabbit, do you think you can limit yourself to that?"
After ducking the mysteriously flying lamp sailing past his ear, Nick made it through the hall and waited on the lawn to flag down the cars he'd called in. Since I didn't want to answer more stupid questions about Noser, I decided not to wait outside with Nick. I sat down on the couch and started making notes. We must have interrupted the thief in the middle of their job. That's why the stuff was stacked up by the window. He or she must have planned to take it all out the back window away from prying eyes. I got up to examine the window. Yep. It was all fences and bushes lining the yard. The perfect cover for a burglar. Undoubtedly they had a getaway van they planned to stash the loot in parked behind the fence on the far wall. Now all that was left was a small convertible and a florist's truck. If only we had thought to check the street when we first came! We could have gotten a license plate before they drove off. It would have been better than nothing, which is what we had! And that was another thing! How had the burglar gotten away so quickly? Even if they had heard Nick and I talking they still would have had to open the window, run to the fence, jump it, and drive off without us seeing or hearing them. I knew I (or rather Nick) had bungled the entrance but I would have at least heard the car peel off.
I sat bolt up right. It was so obvious I couldn't believe we hadn't thought of it before! What if the reason we never saw the criminal leave was that they never left? I looked out the window again. Oh course! The florist van! I started to turn around to go get Nick and...THUMP! I was hit with a blinding pain on the back of the head and fell to the floor.
After what felt like an eternity of blackness, I came to. The first thing I noticed was a dry taste in my mouth. I opened my eyes and saw I was in a derelict old building, most likely an abandoned warehouse. I was handcuffed to a chair and as my oh so professional partner Nick likes to call it, my "belt of tricks" was hanging on the opposite wall along with my bulletproof vest. I also had what I really hoped was a clean cloth gag. I tried to brake the chair, first by pulling the cuffs, then by kicking the chair but it was no use.
"Having fun?" I jumped.
"Ho aid at?" I looked around wildly. It sounded like the voice was right next to me.
"I said that," the voice said again, "When words come out of your mouth they are typically from you don't you find? For a cute little bunny you're not very quick are you?"
I grumbled. I hate being called cute. "Her are ou?" I asked. "Are ou on speka?"
"Ha ha! Speaker? You're even slower than the fox! I'm standing right next to you!" I looked everywhere. I still couldn't see anything. There was a snapping of fingers. Materializing in front of me on a table sat the strangest lizard I'd ever seen. "Can you see me now?" He asked smugly. I couldn't answer. I was to stupefied. I opened my mouth like a dumb frog hoping a fly would land in its mouth but all that came out was a little drool. He laughed again and pulled the cloth down. My face grew red and I looked down, embarrassed.
"How did you do that?" I muttered in spite of myself.
"Well when you're a chameleon, you do get to do chameleon things!" He said with a level of sarcasm that would make Nick swoon. "Honestly," he continued, "You mammals are so self centered. Never taking the time to learn about any other group! Well all's well that ends well and all that! I'm off!" He jumped down from the table and started walking towards the door.
"Hey!" I said, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
He turned around. "Oh yes," he said absentmindedly, like I was reminding him to get milk at the store. "I knew I forgot something!" He walked up to me and smiled again. "I haven't decided what to do with you yet. I don't want to kill you but I can't let you go either. I'll have to think of something while I'm off stealing the Ruby Yacht!" I gasped. The 20 pound trinket was on loan to the local museum as a personal favor to the mayor from King Omar Khayyám from across the sea. It was his most prized possession. If it went missing, the whole country could go to war! The chameleon chuckled at my expression as he lifted the cloth back over my mouth.
"Ou aren oing ta get aay wit is!" I said, apparently trying to think of the most cliched thing to say as he opened the door and stepped through it.
The chameleon sneered. "I already have," he said before turning the lights off and slamming the door. After a few more minutes of frantic struggling, I realized how hopeless it was. I was in a pitch black room in most likely the middle of an enormous vacant docking bay, no one knew I was here, and I had no way of escape. Nick might piece together what happened if he came to the same conclusion I did about the window and the getaway, but how would he know where to find me?
I sighed. I'm not a crier no matter what Nick might say but I could feel the tears start to slide down my nose as the full impact of the situation hit me. For all his "merciful" talk, I didn't have much hope the chameleon wouldn't just kill me and dump my body on a beach somewhere. I thought about my siblings, crying for their sister, my parents, whose nightmares of what might happen to their little girl had come all to true, and Nick, my best friend, who would blame himself. For all his big talk and smug little remarks, he cared about me as much as I care about him. When he found out that I had died while he wasn't around, I knew it would eat him up inside forever. He would never forgive himself. I hoped he would move on and get a new partner, but a part of me knew he wouldn't want to work after that.
"Oh ick!" I sobbed into my lap, "I'm so orry. I's ot ur alt."
"Great! I had this whole speech ready for when I found you but to be honest it wasn't very good." I looked up, surprised. There was Nick, sitting on the table where the chameleon had just been sitting a few minutes ago.
"ICK? Ow id ou?" I spluttered.
"Articulate as always Carrots!" He smirked, pulling my gag down. "When I saw you were gone, I figured the guy must have come back for something and got caught. I tracked your phone, (he nodded to my belt), and snuck in through the vents. Chameleon, huh? Never thought I'd see one!" He walked over to my belt and fished out the keys before walking back behind me.
"Quick! We got to stop him! If he gets that boat, we're toast!"
"I know," Nick said. "I just want to take a minute and enjoy this."
"Enjoy what?"
"Me rescuing you! Do you know how long I've waited for you to mess up so I could be the number one cop? Is this how you feel all the time? It must be great! I feel so saintly!"
"You are about as saintly as a sack of moldy potatoes!" I growled, rocking back in my chair. "Now stop gloating and let's go!"
"Yeah, yeah. But just one more question."
"Fine. What?"
"How does it feel to be the damsel in di..."
"If you say one more word I'm going to shove my foot so far up your..."
"Shutting up now!" Said Nick quickly, unlocking the cuffs and handing me my keys and belt with a smile. I put the belt on quickly. I felt almost naked without it. I looked up at Nick with an apologetic expression.
"Nick..."
"Yes?" He asked. I gave him a bone crushing hug. Nick was so surprised that for the first time since knowing him it looked like he was speechless. I pulled away quickly.
"That's for saving me," I said. Then I punched him hard in the gut.
"What was that for?" He asked, wincing.
"You mean beside from being an extremely irritating partner, a total jerk, and leaving me to stew in this chair for TEN minutes? No one calls me a damsel and gets away with it! Now come on!"
