Rating: PG13 (a li'l bit of language)
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.I just
took 'em out for a spin, but have returned 'em unharmed...so please don't
sue.
Notes: Set (technically) season 5, but in a 'verse where Spike is still
de-spiked...sorry. Spoilers for season 4 (BtVS) and season 1 (Angel). My
first ever fanfic....so please, please, please...review....*thanks*
**************
Xander walked confidently, obviously cocky after what had ended up being a
marathon night with Anya. *Wow, does that girl have stamina.* His cockiness
meant he didn't notice the brunette come up behind him, it also meant he
couldn't contain a girly squeal as she tapped him gently on the shoulder. As
he turned his eyes bulged in surprise and no small amount of fear.
"Faith!" He squeaked.
"Hey Xand, how ya been?" She replied quietly, as if afraid of scaring him
again.
"You...you're supposed to be...Buffy said...in LA." *I'm a dead man.* He backed up
rapidly, almost stumbling in the process.
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you," Faith moved forward to help him catch his
balance then thought better of it and also stepped back. "Um yeah, the
Council pulled some strings. I've been to England and back since LA. You're
lookin' at a new, reformed Slayer," stated Faith with false cheer and an
overriding feeling of selfconsciousness. *This was a mistake, he hates me.*
"Reformed?!" *God she looks HOT Xander! Concentrate! Is she serious,
reformed?* He looked away, confused by his attraction to the slayer who had
once tried to kill him with her bare hands.
"Look sorry I shouldn't have stopped you. I just saw you and thought I
dunno, sorry. *He can't even look me in the eye. Stupid, Faith, stupid. What
did you expect?*
"No, I mean..what are you, well doing here?" *Come to visit old flames? Renew
old acquaintances, relive nights of passion. Dammit Xander concentrate!
What did she just say*
"so they sent me back here and told me to met up with you guys and Giles."
"Oh, right, sure Giles" *Great. Note to self: think less, listen more!* "Do you want me to go with?"
"Yea, sure come, I think the whole gang should hear this!" She replied, with
more of the old bravado, wondering if he really hated her as much as she
first thought.
With that the two former lovers, walked off, a safe distance from each
other, both nervous, yet strangely excited.
*********************
The Scooby gang responded quickly to Giles' flustered ring around and within
10 minutes began to appear on his doorstep. They all reacted with the same
fear, but less of the arousal that Xander felt upon seeing the brunnette
slayer: Faith lounged lazily on Giles' couch, but despite her casual
greetings and studied nonchalence, she too was anything but at ease. She had
messed with these peoples' lives far too many times to expect anything other
than pure hatred and unqualified suspicion. And with the exception of Tara
she received them both in abundance. Giles however had called the council
and although he was annoyed that he had not been informed earlier, he tried
his best to sound confident and assured as he attempted to calm their fears.
"Now, I know this is a...uh...difficult situation. But we need to trust the
council and have faith in..uh hum,Faith." He said with less selfassurance
than he would have liked and somehow with more confusion.
"Because the last few times she tried to kill us were just a big
misunderstanding! You're really dumb you know that!" Snapped Anya as much
out of habit as any real anger.
"I agree and it is not like the council has always done right by us either.
Why should we believe them now?" Willow said with surprising force, looking
almost as surprised as everyone else at her support of the ex-demon.
"I vote we kill 'er!" Said Spike with gusto and stood up, before noticing
the glares from everybody else, including Faith, he sat down again looking
bored.
"Listen, you wanna play emu and stick your head in the sand- fine..." Began
Faith, beginning to get angry and increasingly sounding like the Faith of
old.
"What?!"
"It's ostriches that put their heads in the sand, not emus." Explained
Giles. Upon noticing the baffled look on all the faces around him, he
sighed. "Never mind."
"Like I was saying, if denial 's what turns you on, fine, but don't expect
me to stand by and watch when all hell, literally, breaks loose, just 'cause
you're all too chicken shit to do anything about it." The silence in the
room was deafening.*Great work Faith, you've been here five minutes tops and
you've already cussed. On top of that Red's girlfriend looks like she is
about to burst into tears, the only one who didn't seem to hate you, super
work!*
"So, the reforming didn't work on the whole social etiquette thing did it."
Said Xander, regretting the quip as he saw Faith's face freeze. *She tried
to kill you, she has superpowers and you're picking her up on her social
niceities. What is wrong with you?!*
The whole gang braced itself for one of Faith's fits of anger, they knew,
perhaps better than anyone, that one didn't cross this slayer without
serious pain being inflicted. So they were all stunned when Faith's face
didn't become a mask of anger but rather one of guilt.
"Sorry, I guess not...I just meant,whatever." Managed Faith looking sincere.
Tara the least accustomed to Faith and so the least surprised by her
uncharacteristic backdown was the first to break the silence.
"Maybe we should find Buffy and Riley, maybe even before we hear why Faith
is here, maybe that would be a good idea" Said Tara in almost a whisper.
"Yea, I'm down with that, we should split up," said Faith resuming the role
of Slayer/organiser with ease, what perhaps was more surprising was the ease
with which everybody accepted her role as organiser and chief, old habits
die hard.
"Red you and your girl check out the dorms, G-man, you and the gal with the
bad attitude should check out the usual patrol haunts, Xand 's with me, and
you, with the wicked ugly hair, stay here and see if they show, 'cause
you're not gonna be a big help out there in the sunshine. We meet back here
in an hour."
She pointed at each of them as she gave her directions. Everybody, except
Xander, began to argue at either their pairings or Faith's less than
sensitive naming system, she was, however, checking her lipstick in the
mirror and entirely oblivious. So her surprise was genuine when she turned
and realised they were all still there and staring at her.
"What's the deal with you people, why y'all still here? Geez, I've seen
the undead move faster." With that she grapped Xander by the wrist and
gracefully disappeared out the door.
******************
Faith and Xander walked down the main street together, looking down alleys
and in coffee shops as they went.
*OK. Conversation, small talk. You can do this Xander. Think of a topic, any
topic. Sex! Ok, not any topic. Something else, something interesting*
"So, weather's good, huh?" *The WEATHER!!*
"Sure beats England."
"Right, England."
"So, where should we start looking? What do these guys do apart from
patrol?"
"Do?"
"Yeah, you know like do. Parties, picnics, outings. What do they do?"
"They have sex a lot."
Faith laughed surprised, but impressed by the honesty.
"I mean, at this frat party one time...when you said party, it just made me
think..nevermind." *Oh God Xander, you didn't just say that out loud did
you? You're spending way too much time around Anya!*
"Hey chill, it's all cool. I'm sorta in the know with the sex part though,
remember the whole body swap thing."
Xander was genuinely stunned. He stopped walking and stared at the brunette.
"What! Did you...with Riley!!"
Faith threw her head in her hands, disgusted at her self. "Oh my God! I
thought you knew! First Angel and now you!" Cried Faith sincerely.
"Whoaa! What has he got to do with this?"
"Who?"
"Deadboy!"
"Angel?"
"No, the other deadboy. YES Angel!" Xander was getting increasingly angry
and Faith increasingly confused. Both were beginning to raise their voices
and people around them stopped to stare.
"Nothing!"
"Then why did you say just say his name?" Xander had, as always, grown tense
at the mention of the vampire's name and was suddenly ready for a fight.
"It doesn't matter." Said Faith trying to diffuse the situation, but failing
to sound particularly concilatory. *Dammit Faith. Keep your mouth shut!*.
"Well it matters to me. Did something happen in LA, something that Buffy
didn't tell us about?" Yelled Xander, now angry.
"No, nothing. Anyway what's it to you. You've got a girl remember. I thought
you had grown out of your obsession with B!" *Thought...hoped*
"Don't you dare! Don't even think about." With each angry word Xander
stepped closer, purposeful, furious and apparently totally oblivious to the
fact that the slayer he was now screaming at had once come very close to
killing him.
"Listen!"
"Why in the world should I?"
By now both Faith and Xander were at boiling point. From polite small talk,
it had quickly escalated to flow blown screaming match and they now stood
toe to toe, eyeballing each other with unmasked ferocity.
"Because I could beat you into a bloody pulp and sell you off in parts to
the undead!" With this Faith grapped Xander and pushed him hard against a
wall, leaning on his chest with her forearm.
"I'll break it down for you, 'cause you're obviously not too quick. I slept
with Riley in B's body. I bailed, got to LA. One way or another, met up with
Angel. I thought he knew 'bout Riley. He didn't. I told him, just like how I
told you, just, you know, let it slip. B showed, Angel/Buffy funfest
started. I bailed again. You got that all hot shot? You gonna chill now?"
During the course of this speech Faith had both slowed and quietened her
speech, Xander too looked calmer and almost embarrassed for his outbreak.
"Yeah, sorr..."
Before he could finish a voice came from behind them.
"It's OK Xander, I've got you covered." Said Riley in his best commando
voice. "Faith, I have a shock-gun, I don't want to use it, but I will. Step
away from him now."
Both Faith and Xander turned, stunned by the intrusion on what had become a
relatively civil conversation. Faith, however, still had her blood pumping
from the argument and didn't appreciate the less than civil order.
"Or what, ya gonna shoot me with ya little shock gun?" Drawled Faith.
"I will do it. Step toward me now!"
"Ok. But don't forget, you asked for it." With a quick step forward Faith
kicked the gun out of his had and punched him hard on the jaw. Riley was
surprised by her agility and knocked off balance, taking advantage of this
Faith kicked his feet out from under him and quickly put her knee down on
his chest to ensure he couldn't get back up.
*Wow, those slayer reform schools just ain't what they used to be* Thought
Xander to himself. He knew he had to help Riley and explain the situation,
but he couldn't help wallowing for a moment in Riley's defeat.
"Whoaa. Faith, Riley..let's all take a big deep breath."
Xander leant down and offered Riley his hand.
"Harder for you with a slayer compressing your lungs and all."
When Riley took his hand but Faith refused to budge, Xander looked at her
expectantly.
"Reformed means no beating of innocent humans, O-K."
Faith finally stood, "Whatever."
Still gasping from his winding and holding his already swelling jaw Riley
looked wary and very confused.
"What's going on?" He asked, not unreasonably.
"Riley, this is the new, improved and most importantly REFORMED
ex-rogue-slayer Faith." Xander looked at Faith as he said "reformed".
"You've got to be kidding me."
"No farmboy, he's serious. I'm fighting on the side of good these days."
"Well, then why were you attacking Xander?" Asked Riley annoyed, not only by
Faith's attitude, but also Xander's apparent belief in the slayer who had in
the last few minutes tried to kill them both.
"Xand and me were just havin' a friendly chat."
"Friendly!? You were about ready to kill him."
"Na, that's just how me and Xand communicate." *Me and everybody actually*
"I don't buy it."
"Not that I care what you buy, but you can ask him yourself. We're cool
right Xand?" They both turned to look at him.*Say yes. Please God, let him
say yes.*
*She actually cares.I mean about what I think of her. I can see it in her
eyes, nobody has ever really*
"Five by five."
Riley looked confused, but Faith and Xander grinned.
"Listen, where's B? We were looking for her before you came."
"That's how you look for people?" Riley's jaw and his ego were still
smarting and he sounded aggressive as he glared at Faith.
"Wanna go round two?" Said Faith with anger and stepped closer to him.
"Sure."
"OK. Somebody put too much testosterone on their wheeties this morning,"
Said Xander stepping between them.
"Riley, buddy. How about you just answer the nice lady's question. Where's
Buffy?"
Reluctantly Riley answered. "She's in her dorm room, she had an assignment,
I said I'd patrol."
"Ok, then Will and Tara have probably already found her and are back at
Giles'. So we might as well go too."Said Xander indicating the way for the
other two, who were still glaring at each other.
The three of them walked off together. Xander and Faith feeling strangely
closer to each other and Riley holding his jaw with one hand and his ribs
with the other.
****************
Buffy was pacing aound Giles' living room. She didn't know how to react to
this news, Faith was a complication which she had thought she wouldn't have
to deal with for a long time. Everything about her last meeting with Faith
swirled about in her head.
*The council have assured Giles that Faith is 100% reformed, even if they're
right, and that isn't exactly a given, the damage she has caused to
everybodies lives in the past isn't going to just be forgotten. And what if
they're wrong and Faith is back for one more laugh, then the last thing I
need is a living room of people watching as Faith and I, well, as I try
and fix this mess*
"Look maybe you guys should..."
Before Buffy could finish her sentence Riley, Faith and Xander entered.
Faith and Xander in hysterics as they acted out there favourites scenes from
the 'Three Stouges' and Riley looking angry, tired and sporting a very
swollen jaw. Xander and Faith stopped laughing as they noticed the stares
from around the room.
"Oh my God Riley are you OK?" Buffy ran to him, ignoring Faith and Xander.
"What happened?"
"Faith."
"What? Did Faith?" Buffy spun around and was now glaring at the brunette.
"B chill, it's not how it sounds." Faith was still smirking from her
conversation with Xander and sounded even more blaise that normal.
"It's not how it sounds! Gosh, where have I heard that before, oh, I know LA."
"Buffy, it's not what you think."
"I'm sick of it Faith and you know what I'm going to do something about it. Last time there was somebody who cared
enough about you that he stopped me, but this time its just you and me
Faith. I promise you, nobody here cares and this time you will not leave the
room alive."
The two slayers were now only inches apart.
"Is that what you want? To go through it all again.You've done it once
before right, stabbed through human skin and muscle, gutted me. So, what,
you want another shot?"
The whole gang was transfixed and each of them showed their fear on their
face. Faith leant into Giles' kitchen and pulled a sharp carving knife out
of the block. She held the handle out to Buffy. Then she stood back where
she had been moments before, only inches away from Buffy and the knife.
"You gonna kill me B, for what? For the bruise that your boy got on his
face? One that he got because he is a trigger-happy soldier with a
God-complex?"
Buffy turned to look at Riley quickly, but turned back just as quickly.
"I didn't need another reason to kill you Faith, you were just stupid enough
to provide one."
"Right, you were gonna kill me anyway. The reasons, they're just for
everybody else's consciences. Because there has only ever been one reason,
hasn't there B?"
"Enlighten me."
Faith answered, indignant and angry. "I scare you senseless. I scare you
because we are so alike. You want me dead because you want that part of you
dead. Everynight I am in your dreams fighting by your side and in your
nightmares fighting against you. Everynight you live that moment on the roof
again and again. I know B, everynight I'm there too."
Buffy paused for a moment, she had looked away as Faith told her exactly
what she already knew, she looked back and said regretfully."In the dream
you always die."
Faith didn't respond to that, rather said with obvious pain."In the dream
you always flinch. You didn't flinch."
"I did. You just weren't around to see it." Buffy put the knife on the
counter.
"I'm really am so..." Faith looked at Buffy warily.
"It's OK, say it."
"Buffy, I am truly sorry."
"So am I."
Buffy leant forward quickly and hugged Faith tightly. Faith looked confused
at first, but then relaxed. The two slayers embraced for a moment and then
both moved back.
***********************
"So what's the deal? Oh wait let me guess. The world is going to end!"
Buffy asked this as she sat down next to Riley, Faith was about to answer
when Willow interrupted.
"Wait! Is that it? Buffy forgives and forgets, so well all do too?" Said Willow angrily standing up.
"Will, come on! Just let it lie." Said Xander trying to sound caring, but
ultimately failing.
"Don't start on me Xander. You of all people, Mister Grudge Holder himself,
should be on my side."
"This isn't about sides, Will." Said Buffy gently.
"No, it's about forgiveness and trust and with me you can't just win them back by default."
"Willow, this really isn't the time or the place..." Began Giles.
"Fine. If you're not interested in my opinions, I'll leave."
With that Willow grabbed her coat and stormed out. Buffy, Tara and Xander
all moved to follow her, but Faith stopped them as much with her words as
with her tone of voice.
"Wait, please! Let me."
"Faith, Willow's really upset."
"And that's my fault. This is another one of my messes Buffy, please let me
at least try to clean it up!"
Xander and Buffy both looked unconvinced.
"F..Fai..Faith's right. She is the only one that can make this right with
Willow. We sh..should let her go." Managed Tara, looking terrified.
Faith ran out the door, stopping only in front of Tara to say a quick
thankyou. She found Willow crumpled on a lawn only a few houses away from
Giles' apartment block.
"Willow."
"Leave me alone! Why won't you just leave me alone?" Asked Willow
desperately between sobs.
Faith sat down a safe distance from the sobbing girl.
"Please don't cry." Said Faith sounding very uncomfortable. "I'm not worth
all those tears."
"But everything you have taken from me is!" Said Willow with venom.
"Taken from you? God, what have I ever taken from you?" Asked Faith shocked.
"What haven't you? Buffy, Xander, Giles, what more could you have taken from
me?"
"Whoa. Were you just there a second ago. B was about ready to slit me open.
And Xander and Giles treat me like everybody else in this town, like
somesort of evil mistake. In their eyes I wasn't ever a good slayer or a
rogue slayer. I was always just a mutant slayer. A twisted, horrible, evil
twin of Buffy."
"What's wrong with you? Xander worships you. I would have sold my soul to
get him to look at me the way he looks at you! And Buffy 's the same, she
forgave you, just like that. As if everything you did doesn't matter
anymore." Willow was no longer crying but rather yelling, she stood up and
Faith followed.
"You're angry because B forgave me?" Asked Faith, geniunely confused.
"No. I mean, yes. I mean. Buffy didn't just forgive you for everything you
did to her, but everything you did period. You held a knife to my throat,
you tried to kill me. You tried to kill me!"
"What has that got to do with B?"
"Everything. She knows that. She knows everything that you have done to me
and to us all and she can look you in the eye and forgive you. Do you know
how that feels when your best friend forgives the person that tried to kill
you?"
"No."
"Well it hurts."
"I guess it does. But you know what, I can't imagine any of it Willow. I
can't imagine having a bestfriend. I can't imagine feeling like you do, all
that loss because I've never even had that much to lose."
"You want pity now?"
"Screw pity. I just want, I want you to get that I'm not here to steal
anybody from you."
"It's a little late for that."
"Jesus Willow, think about it! Name one person that I actually stole from
you, one person who I now have as a friend that you don't! There isn't
anybody Willow, they are all your friends. They will always be your friends!
Long after I'm just a name on a tombstone somewhere, they'll still be your
friends. I don't have anything of yours Willow!"
"You had Xander." Said Willow, the pain evident in her voice.
Faith was shocked, she froze and stared at the redhead.
"Is that what Willow? Xander and me it was..."
"Don't tell me it didn't mean anything, because that only makes it worse."
Spat Willow out furiously.
"Willow. I don't know what to say. So I'm gonna try the truth...just for
jokes."Faith ran her hands through her hair and looked visibly upset, Willow
looked at her closely.
"You're right, at the time Xander and me, it didn't mean jack to me." Faith
held up her hand to stop Willow's inevitable interruption.
"BUT, since. I mean since LA. It has become, like, I dunno, one of my
favourite things to like ponder or something. Don't worry I'm not gonna go
into details or anything, I just mean. The idea that anybody that knew me,
like knew what I was like. That anybody like Xander, with friends, with you
and Buffy. That he would even consider, I dunno. It's just amazing to me."
Faith had looked away as she said this, but now looked straight at Willow.
"I guess that didn't really help anything, did it? Please believe me Willow.
I'm not here to taking anything away from you."
"What about Buffy?"
"What about her?"
"You and her, you have this bond. I can't ever, I'll never be a slayer. I
can't compete with you. With your looks or your attitude or your confidence,
but most of all just with you, as a slayer. I can't ever compare."
"Look, I don't know much, but this much I can promise you. You aren't a
slayer and you can never try and compete with the fact that I am one. But in
terms of who you are. In terms of being a person, you beat me everytime
Willow. You've got me beat before I even start. You aren't the chosen one,
but you are Buffy's best friend. And if I had a best friend like you, I
would get down on my hands and knees everyday and thank whoever it is in
charge up there, that you aren't the chosen one. People as good as you
shouldn't be risked." Faith had started the speech frustrated and angry, but
by the end she had quietened. She looked Willow in the eye as she finished
in almost a whisper.
"But..." Willow was stunned by Faith's honesty and momentarily lost her train
of thought and almost forgot everything that was making her so angry and
hurt.
"But what?"
"But why could they forgive you so easily after everything you have done to
them and to me?" Asked Willow with less bitterness than before but with the
same pained expression.
"Maybe you've just got yourself some pretty forgiving friends, or maybe they
are just aren't as smart as you." Faith trailed off looking into the
distance, also sounding pained, but now rather than confused she just
sounded tired.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you aren't going to hurt them or me again."
Said Willow with uncharacteristic earnstness.
"I swear, I won't hurt any of you." Said Faith with equally uncharacteristic
seriousness.
They stood for a moment dead still, maintaining eye contact the whole time.
Finally Willow broke the silence.
"No promises, but I'll try to forget or whatever. OK?"
"OK." Said Faith queitly and the two of them walked back towards Giles'
in silence.
**********************
As they walked in the whole room looked at them carefully and both Xander
and Buffy stood.
"It's all cool, you can keep your seats." Said Faith tiredly.
"Willow?"
"It's OK Buffy. But I think we're all tired, so let's just get on with it."
Said Willow as she sat next to Tara. Xander and Buffy continued to look at
her concerned, but the rest of the room turned its attention to Faith.
"So Faith. Is this some sort of specific prophecy that you have come to warn
us about?"
"No, it ain't that simple. It isn't a prophecy, sorta more like a rumour.
The old farts at the council don't know much about what's coming. They just
sorta said, that the bad ass demons that we usually fight are going to keep
showing, but now there'll also be more. These new ones will be like fighting
for a reason, rather than just fighting for kicks, if ya get what I mean."
Despite her tiredness, Faith said this with her typical attitude and slang.
Only Willow noticed the change from the serious girl who had promised her
safetly outside, to the rough and tumble slayer who was now talking to them
all.
"Do ya get what I mean? The council guys sorta said it different."
"Yes, I would imagine so. I think, however, that we understand what you mean
Faith, these new demons will be fighting together, united in their battle
toward a single goal. Strengthend by reslove and purpose," Said Giles.
"Yea, wow, do guys like get trained to talk like that?"
"Umm. Yes, actually. It's called schooling."
"Hey, good call G-man, that was funny!" Said Faith with a trace of her usual
bravado.
"Yes it was rather wasn't it." Giles wallowed for a moment in his own
humour, then returned to looking concerned. "But back to the point. Does the
council know what this purpose is? Who is indoctrinating these demons and
why?"
"All the council knows is that they are coming and that they are wicked
motivated. All different species, all headed toward the normal hot spots and
all meaning business."
"Business, as in overrunning the world and setting up shop business, or as in
co-habitation, living together in peace business?" Asked Xander hopefully.
"I dunno, nobody does."
"But the council must know something, I mean, what did they send you here to
do? " Asked Buffy.
"It wasn't like they are just sent me to give you all a heads up. It's way
more intense. Everybody is on red alert, the Watcher's Council, along with
like every council, board and commity ever, are sending out messengers and
helpers to everywhere they think could be affected."
"Well that's good, preparation is the key to a good offensive," Said Riley,
his expression finally softening from the scowl that he had been sporting
all evening.
"Sorry, Farmboy, but you got it all backwards. Nobody is working on an
offensive here, this is a last minute, try and cover our balls, defensive
and we ain't talkin' preparation, we're talkin' crazy fear," Said Faith
sounding pessismistic.
"So, that's it? Is that everything we have to go on?" Asked Willow looking
pretty fearful herself.
"No, I forgot! The thing that the demons are working towards, it's called
'The End of Days'"
*****************************
"Are you sure this is OK, I mean will your folks mind?" Faith asked Xander
as they walked down the street toward his house. It was late and they both
looked exhausted.
"My parents won't care, or notice for that matter. Anyway with Spike back at
Giles' and you two having somewhat of a personality clash, you staying here
really seems like the best option."
"Yea, but maybe I should just go down to the motel."
"Nah."
"Why not? It's sort of homey."
"Bad memories!" Said Xander more honestly than he normally would have, the
tiredness was obviously kicking in.
"What? oh shit!" Realisation dawned on Faith's face and a look of devastation spread across her features. "Xander, I'm really sorry. I know that that
isn't worth jack and I know that your doing this all out of obligation to
Buffy. But don't worry, I don't expect us to be friends or anything." *It's
a miracle anyone is prepared to talk to me!*
"I know you're sorry. But..."
"But." *Another person to list of people who can never forgive me.* Faith
looked at him closely.
"You know what, I sorta owe you too?" *She looks so desperate, so alone.*
Faith looked stunned and stared at Xander, "For what?"
"Well how many guys can say their first time was with a slayer?" Xander
grinned and Faith laughed in response.
"You'd be surprised!"
At that they both smiled.
"Anyway, the life of non-crime is one I'm pretty familiar with .Sort of a
life long hobby."
"Yea?"
"Yea and I've got this friend, she apparently wants to try it out herself,
so I figure..."
"You figure what?"
"So I figure, I'll steer her 'round the curves."
**************************
Epilogue
So I guess that's how it all started.With a fist fight with Riley, a death
threat from Buffy, a screaming match with Willow and a promise of friendship
from Xander. Since then it has all just moved step by step. We are trying to
"prepare" [Riley's favourite word], for 'The End of Days' as best we can and
trying to keep our cool at the same time. Buffy and I are back to patroling
together, sometimes with Riley, mostly without, because he a distraction,
Buffy wants to kiss him and I want to kill him. He isn't the type of person
I imagined she would go out with, he can't stand me and he is so ridiculous
about Angel. I guess he is just an ordinary guy doing his best in an
extraordinary situation, but still something about him wigs me, sooner or
later it will come out, stuff like that always does.
About Angel, we have seen him a couple of times, he too is up to date and so
we collaborate sometimes if and when we have information to share. There is
still something amazing about he and Buffy's bond, something that makes the
air seem on fire when they are in the same room. Their relationship, even if
they don't have one right now, seems inevitable, like as if it is somewhere
in one of those prophecies of Giles', just waiting for the right moment to
be fulfilled, I don't doubt that it will be. Maybe Riley feels that too,
that must hurt.
Anya left, it seems like along time ago now, but I don't really know. She
just realised that it wasn't right, that she just didn't fit in and left,
surprisingly quietly. So, that left Xander and me. Somehow Willow has
accepted it, accepted me generally. I don't think she sees me as an enemy
anymore, but it will be a long time before she accepts me as an ally.
So Xander and me started at some point, somehow. He is different to what
everybody thinks; deeper, stronger, better. He has lived through some awful
things and yet is the most amazing person. We understand each other, each
others need to have facades (brutality and stupidity are amazing masks for
insecurity) and each others need to have someone who can see beyond them.
Finally we both have that someone.
So I guess I'm literally facing the end of days, but I have done that
before. For the first time I am doing it with friends and for the first time
I am happy.
FIN
