a/n: Not only do I not own Star Wars, I don't own the Katy Perry song that was the odd inspiration for this. All in good fun.
Chapter 1 - It's a Blacked Out Blur, But I'm Pretty Sure It Ruled
Leia woke up reluctantly. Her head felt…fuzzy, her mouth was dry, and the light streaming in from her windows was so horribly bright. Gods, that was a hell of a party, she thought, moaning slightly as she rolled over to cuddle with Han. And stopped short.
That's not Han, her brain registered, just in time to stop herself from embracing the man in bed beside her. A slight gasp escaped her mouth before she could stifle it. The sleeping figure stirred.
Wedge Antilles opened his eyes and smiled at Leia with a bleary-eyed expression. Noticing her look of shock, he gave her arm a gentle push, encouraging her to roll over to her other side. She saw with relief that Han was in fact right there, still asleep.
That, of course, still didn't answer the question of what the hell a shirtless Wedge was doing in her and Han's bed.
This is our bed, right? She looked around for confirmation. Yes, this was their bed, in their bedroom, in their apartment. The room was quite a bit messier than usual – the closet door was hanging open and clothes were spilling out, piles of other clothes were scattered all over the floor, and was one of the curtains missing? – but it was definitely their bedroom.
Kriff, the holos would have a field day with this one if they ever caught wind of it, she thought. She and Han were scandalous enough in some people's eyes by just their existence as a couple; word of an extra man in her bed would make the gossip mongers practically explode with delight.
The groan coming from behind Wedge left Leia wondering what the uproar would be like if someone learned there were two extra men in her bed.
She sank back down and snuggled against Han, closing her eyes. Kaffe, she thought. I definitely need kaffe to deal with all of this. She could almost smell its rich aroma coming from the kitchen right now…
Han roused as she pressed against him, and he turned over and sleepily pulled her body to his, kissing her neck and running his hand down her hip. "Han," she started to protest, realizing that he was unaware that they had company. But it came out like a moan, and he answered by kissing her mouth so passionately that she forgot herself for a moment and kissed him back with equal hunger.
"Again? Don't you two ever get tired?" moaned Luke, sitting up groggily from his spot on the bed behind Wedge.
Han pulled away from Leia and sat up, his eyes wide. "Kid? What in nine hells are you do—Antilles?" he said, noticing Wedge. Han winced at the sunlight streaming in and stared at the two men. "Someone wanna explain what the –"
"Chewie," Wedge interrupted. "I don't remember the details, but Chewie threw us all into the bed and yelled something about twins." Wedge had picked up a bit of Shyriiwook over the years, but only understood about every third growl.
Leia suddenly realized that Chewie was likely also responsible for the kaffe smell wafting in from the kitchen, and thanked multiple gods that it was not just a dream. "I need kaffe for this conversation," she said. "Han, hand me that robe?" she asked, motioning to a bit of blue silk that was hanging on the doorknob to the closet. Han tossed it to her, and she slipped it on over the t-shirt she was wearing.
The men in the room were wearing a lot less – namely, their underwear and nothing else. Han pulled on a pair of pants and was reaching down to find pants for Wedge and Luke, when the pile of clothing he was picking from made a noise.
He lifted a pair of bloodstripe trousers off the pile to reveal Lando, who was clothed – or more to the point, not clothed – similarly to the other men in the room.
"The hell? Get up and get some damn pants on," growled Han, tossing a pair of sweatpants at him before following Leia to the kitchen.
[You're alive,] Chewie greeted. He not only had made a pot of strong kaffe, but was busily preparing a full breakfast.
"Barely," Han muttered, stumbling to the kaffe pot. "Thanks, Pal," he said, indicating the kaffe and breakfast. He poured a large mug of kaffe for himself and another one for Leia, and brought them to the table. Leia thanked him and began sipping hers quietly.
Luke didn't make it to the kaffe pot, but instead sat down and laid his head on the table. "Why?" he moaned to no one in particular.
"Hey, this party was your idea, little brother," said Leia.
"I'm the oldest," protested Luke into the table. It had been Luke's idea to have a joint party to celebrate their twenty-fifth birthdays, now that they knew they were brother and sister and were actually in the same place for a change. Between the close of the war, Leia's work for the New Republic, and Luke's search for information about the Jedi, they'd often been apart on their actual birthday. Leia didn't want to have a public party – she'd been subjected to enough birthdays where the party was more of a performance than an actual celebration, and given her position, she'd be expected to invite all of the top officials in the New Republic to any kind of public event. The holos' extreme interest in Leia's personal life and her security team's concerns meant that going to a bar with their friends was out of the question. So Han had suggested a party at their apartment – invitation only, with everyone in attendance sworn to secrecy ("Ord Mantell rules," Han called it); a chance to let loose without everyone in Coruscant knowing their business. He'd even arranged to have overnight childcare taken care of so that they could party without being awakened by a toddler the next day.
Leia reached over and ruffled Luke's hair affectionately. "You had fun."
Chewie chuckled as he stirred the breakfast potatoes on the stove. [I think you had plenty of fun yourself, Little Princess. Or should I call you Queen of Song?]
Leia stared at him. "What?" The song machine had been another of Luke's ideas – as serious as he often was about the Jedi and life in general, he'd been like a eager kid while planning the party. He'd asked, several times, for a sing-along machine, and Leia had relented, though she'd sworn that she would leave the singing to the "fools and the professionals."
Han didn't remember everything about the party, but he did remember this. "Ah, yeah, sweetheart. You were a little songbird last night, once Luke finally got you up there."
Leia looked dubious. She did not recall this aspect of the evening…though, to be honest, there were quite a few aspects of the evening that were fuzzy. "I sang? In front of people?"
Luke lifted his head up from the table. "I had to wrestle the mike away from you. You were hogging it." His head went back down on the table with a light thump. Han chuckled and sipped his kaffe.
Lando entered the kitchen, grinning and dressed again in the outfit he'd been wearing last night. "Helluva party," he said, grabbing a cup of kaffe. He greeted Leia with a kiss on the cheek, paused, and then pecked Luke on the cheek as well.
Luke opened an eye. "What was that for?"
Lando winked at him. "Oh, just returning the favor. Although not quite as… passionately as you." Chewie chuckled from the stove.
Luke and Leia were both looking questioningly at Lando when Wedge came in, took one look at Luke, and went to the kaffe pot to pour two mugs. He slid one mug toward Luke before sitting down beside him. "Here. I think you need this."
"Did I kiss Lando last night?" Luke asked.
Wedge grinned. "You did better than that. You two had a nice makeout session. Although he wasn't the only one." Wedge raised an eyebrow. "You made out with everyone last night."
"Everyone?"
Wedge considered that. "Everyone but Leia and Chewie," he amended. Chewie started to say something, but Han pointed at him and silenced him with a look, and Leia looked at Han gratefully.
"Shara?" Shara Bey was married; it probably wasn't a good idea for Luke to be making out with her.
"She and Kes had nothing but compliments for you," Wedge said.
Luke suddenly realized that "everyone" included…Han. Luke turned to him, looking a little embarrassed, but Han was grinning. "Now when your sister tries to set you up, I can give a personal recommendation." Leia was smiling gleefully over her cup of kaffe.
Lando started helping Chewie dish up plates of breakfast food. "Where's everyone else?"
[Shara and Kes are sleeping in the nursery. I left the rest of the Rogues where they landed at the end of the night. Everyone was still alive when I went to bed,] said Chewie, handing plates of food to Luke and Leia. [No thanks to you and that snake juice you brought.]
"Hey, everyone had a good time. Nobody got hurt. And you have to admit it livened up the party," Lando said, passing plates to Han and Wedge before sitting down with his own plate of food.
"Yeah, but too bad the birthday twins can't remember a damn thing," said Han, taking a bite.
"I remember some things," Leia protested. "I remember dancing. And…" She paused. "Well, I remember it was fun," she said.
"Do you remember dancing on the tabletop?" asked Han. She shook her head slowly.
"Playing sabacc?" asked Lando. Another shake.
[Almost breaking your necks swinging across the room?] growled Chewie.
Leia's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Now you're just making things up."
Lando took another bite. "Maybe Last of the Jedi Sluts over here can help you both remember. Be a shame to have missed your own party."
"Hey, no slut-shaming," Han chided in a teasing tone. He turned to Luke. "'S not a bad idea, though. You can see stuff through the Force, right? You could go back and see the parts of the party you missed."
Luke was eating with one hand, and holding his head with the other. "The Force has a headache," he moaned. "And I don't think you're supposed to use it for that, anyway."
Leia sipped her kaffe. "Could be a way for me to practice," she suggested mildly. Luke had been working with Leia on learning about the Force, though she still wasn't sure she was interested in getting fully trained. Normally Luke jumped at any interest she expressed. He seemed a little reluctant, but maybe that was the headache talking.
"Oh, all right, little sister," he said, giving Leia a faint smile. "After breakfast."
