Stella felt rage growing inside of her. She couldn't remember ever feeling so strongly about anything. She had had her share of bad experiences in life but being betrayed by your own mother was something so primal, so hurting that she was feeling numb.
Joy was left alone in the toilet, her hand was bleeding and she was sitting on the floor. She ached all around her body, she wasn't young anymore and the fight with Stella had got her physically and emotionally exhausted.
After a few minutes someone knocks on the door.
"Yes", Joy answers and hardly lifts her gaze from the floor. The door opens and Stoke walks in. "Stoke, I'm not really in a mood…" Joy started but was soon interrupted by Lou. "Joy, I think we should talk about Stella, and what we are going to do about…" Lou says as she kneels down next to Joy.
"Well she's my daughter and that makes her my problem. So there's really nothing for you to worry, is there?" Joy snaps and stands up.
"Joy, I feel that it really wouldn't hurt you to talk with someone…"
"Stoke, I mean it, no it's not the time. I've got things to be getting on with…" Joy says and opens the door next to her. Lou pushes it shut.
"So Stella is staying?"
"Well…"
"It's ok, I understand, she's your daughter and you wanna keep her close."
Joy feels being pushed to the corner. She isn't really the type of person who feels comfortable speaking about her emotions with anyone. She has always put her career before everything and so feels really uncomfortable discussing anything more personal than her favourite sport or type of music.
"There's nothing wrong with wanting her back, it's only normal Joy…"
"Well it's not really a matter of me wanting her in my life anymore, from now on it's Stella's call, and I've got a feeling it's not going to be a walk in a park. But now I've really got to go." Joy says and nods as a thank you for Ms. Stoke. They both now that the following days maybe even weeks or months are going to be really hard.
At the mean time Stella is sitting by the side of her bed in her sell. She wasn't sent down for seq for some reason, which she thought was her mother's instruction. No one at the wing had heard what had happened between her and her mother which was a miracle, and she was waiting the rumours to reach the wing any minute.
She couldn't do anything else but think of the tattoo on Joy's hip. Although she wanted to hate Joy more than anything she couldn't help feeling curious about her. As the hours went by she let her self fall asleep without even changing her clothes or brushing her teeth.
In the middle of the night she suddenly woke up and felt desperate. She had secretly waited for Joy to come in, talk to her, try even. "Try harder" she had told her. And once again her wishes were not heard. She stood up and changed her clothes, it didn't help. She was feeling restless, as if she was on something, which she obviously wasn't. As she finally fell asleep again, it was already a breakfast time, which she rather missed than showed her face.
Some time later she could sense some one in her sell and ready to kick the intruder she opens her eyes and sees Joy by the door. She finally came, now looking slightly different in a grey suit and a little pink eyes.
"Go before you even start", Stella snaps and turns to face the wall in her sell. Joy won't move. She senses how delicate the situation is. How delicate her daughter, the tiny baby she left all those years ago, is.
"Stella, I think we need to talk", Joy says firmly and takes a few steps closer to the bed. Stella doesn't answer but draws pictures with her finger tips to the wall in front of her eyes.
"About yesterday…" Joy continues and sighs nervously.
"How about you go and call them to take me to back to Broadfield, that's what you've been so keen to do the last few days, and now I feel would be the brilliant time for it. Don't you think?" Stella says and stands up from her bed.
"I doubt that's what you really want", Joy says and tries to keep it cool.
"Yeah, well since when has it been my choice? No… It's always been you, and your life, and your career, before everything even your own daughter. So go, that's why you're here anyway isn't it?" Stella says and walks to the window.
Joy feels panic rising, this isn't going anything like she had planned. After the half an hour of sleep she had got last night she had felt that she would be able to make Stella understand her. Make her believe that she really wanted her into her life.
"Stella, please… Could we talk…" Joy pleads and sits down.
"You can talk all you want, but I still wanna go." Stella says and doesn't move from the window.
"Ok, if this is how you want to hear this, fine. Stella I'm really sorry. Ok, I'm truly sorry. There's really anything I can do to correct the mistakes I did in the past. And continued to do when I met you again… I…" Joy started.
