That fucking asshole! Cheating on her with Tuppence! Tuppence of all people. Asshole!
God bless Zatanna for giving her the heads up. Megan would have probably tried to make it out like some major misunderstanding. She saw the good in almost everyone, even that asshole Cameron.
Wait, they had a date planned tonight didn't they? Fuck. The last thing she needed was to see him when she was likely to commit manslaughter (no judge would convict her for murder she reckoned). She needed something to calm her down, something to distract her. Blindly pushing open a door- with much more force than what would ever be necessary- Artemis Crock found herself surrounded by wonderfully fragrant flowers. It soothed her for all of five seconds, until the thought that Cameron had never once bought her flowers hit home. She stood staring at some white flower she'd never seem before with a detached intensity, torn between wanting to hit something and wanting to cry.
After a moment she noticed a soft bell chiming just behind her, signalling the entrance or exit of another customer. To her left a voice softly asked, "Excuse me, do you need any help?"
A red headed boy, probably roughly her age, with vibrant green eyes had spoken. He regarded her with a mixture of amusement and a slight hint of anxiousness. "Or are you trying to set the Buckbrush on fire with only the power of your mind?"
Her anger flared. "Get bent."
"I'm a man working in a flower shop and you didn't immediately assume I was? Well thanks for giving me the choice. I'm straight by the way, although I suppose a particularly pretty man might sway me..."
Artemis was bewildered by his attitude and found herself bursting into laughter at this guy as he continued to ramble on, was he for real? Still giggling to herself she found herself saying, "No, don't go for the pretty ones, they're usually bad news."
"Ah I take it whoever made you decide to see if you had pyrokenisis was a pretty boy then?"
Nodding she had to ask, "Pyrokenisis?"
"Psychic manipulation of fire.", he explained with a shrug, as if it was something she should've known.
The conversation tailed off with an awkward pause as the two looked at anything other than the other person, all while sneaking glances of the other person from the corner of their eyes.
Eventually he broke the peace again. "So do you need anything or are you just wanting a few minutes?"
She forced a small smile and asked for a few minutes to herself, making a point of not watching as he made his way behind the counter. She glanced at the tiny white flower she'd previously been staring at before moving on to an assortment of roses. A small placard caught her eye, detailing the meanings behind each colour of rose. She glanced around and caught sight of another card, this one for a mix of pink, white and purplish Candy Tufts, giving it's meaning to be 'Indifference'. That struck her as odd, surely all flowers had sappy, sweet meanings right?
"Hey...", she called out, her hand gesturing with a rolling motion as if trying to place his name before she realised she didn't know it. "Is there any way to say 'Fuck you' in a flower?"
The grin he gave her was somewhat unhinged and on further consideration should probably have been illegal. Nevertheless she found herself grinning back as he pulled out a new notepad.
"And I thought today was going to be boring.", he said in a distracted tone, as if he didn't really mean to say it at all. "Can you pass me that bucket just by your hip, the one with the yellow carnations?"
"O..kay", she replied, passing the somewhat heavy bucket with ease. She watched in amusement as the guy flitted about the store with a speed that she'd only ever seen on her niece Lian the day she 'accidentally' given the 3 year old sugar. He grabbed her by her shoulders while she was lost in thought and spun her towards the counter where a selection of flower lay out for her approval. He grinned his manic grin again.
"First off, we have the yellow carnations, representing the meaning, 'You have disappointed me', a fair guess to make consider the guy made you angry enough to try to mentally combust this poor flower shop."
She shot him a guilty grin and nodded her approval for them to go into the bouquet.
"Secondly we'll have a nice cluster of Medowsweet, to highlight this guy's uselessness. We'll pepper them about here and there just to remind him he's been useless on a number of occasions."
Artemis's grin turned a little wry there, thinking of the times Cameron had let her down. He noticed the drop in her mood and moved on to the next flower.
"Now we'll add geraniums. The flower of stupidity."
"What, really?", she started, her head tipping as she considered this.
"Yeah. That's their meaning.", he nodded, glancing at the flowers
"But, my neighbour grows them. Those flower boxes that hang off the window ledge."
The sales guy shrugged. "Not many people know the meanings behind the flowers except for the big ones like white or red roses. And a lot of people don't care if it's a flower they particularly like."
She scrunched her nose up as she thought about it. "That's stupid."
"That's geraniums for you. Folk often associate flowers with particular things that are personal to them. To my mom, carnations are funeral flowers. So when I go, bright yellow carnations, everywhere. Just so I can disappoint her one last time.", he grinned. Artemis found it hard to smile back.
"That's kinda dark.", she muttered, crossing her arms.
"Chill beautiful. I'm not planning in going any time soon. I just like making terrible jokes."
"Well, that joke was 'terrible' all right."
He threw her another wild grin. "I know."
"You're not quite right, you know that?", she stated.
"I've been told.", he replied dismissively. "It doesn't bother me. Shall we continue on with these stupid flowers?"
"Huh, oh. Yeah, I guess.", Artemis replied, frowning a little.
"Great, so geraniums are in. How about adding some orange lilies? They stand for hatred."
"Those smell horrible. Throw them in."
"Careful with them. Lily pollen stains like bitch and if you have animals I wouldn't recommend getting them."
"No pets, only the dog I'm planning to break up with tonight."
He smiled softly at her. "Glad to hear it. My ex used to bring lilies in all the time and my dog took a really bad reaction to them. Cats are at higher risk I think, but yeah. If you have pets I'm not going to sell these to you."
Artemis nodded, not really sure what to say other than. "I always wanted a dog."
"Yeah, what kind?"
"Hadn't thought that far ahead. My mum has mobility issues, so training a pup was always out, and when I moved out pets weren't allowed in the building we were in."
"That's the worst, at least you didn't have to leave a dog behind when you moved." She was about to ask him about his dog when he cut her off. "So, we have Bird's-foot Trefoil and Foxglove left. The trefoil stands for revenge and the foxglove is for insincerity."
"Do you think the pink goes with the rest of it?", Artemis asked, eyeing the foxglove.
"Does it matter?", the guy asked, looking at the mess of flowers in front of him. "This is a bunch of 'fuck you' in a flower, surely if it makes his eyes bleed then it's even more of a win, right?"
She laughed and caught the look of the smug grin on the guys face. "Sure put them in."
"Hey, if it balances it out, I'll change some of the white geraniums with these red ones.", he conceded, holding up a very bright assortment of flowers.
She stuck her thumbs up in a super cheesy manner, mentally scoring a point for making him laugh. "Go for it."
He picked up the flowers and started to move behind the counter again. "I'll arrange these for you and be right back."
She smiled and glanced at some of the flowers while she waited before a very serious thought occurred to her. How was she supposed to pay for this? The ATM had eaten her card just as Zatanna had called about Cameron and she had, oh maybe twenty bucks to her name.
Before she could either have a full blown panic attack at her stupidity, or the preferable option b (run away), the guy can back from the stock room with a massive bouquet of flowers. Artemis was convinced her must of had super speed or something, because it didn't seem like any time at all had passed. The brilliant bouquet of loathing was deposited in front of her with a happy little thump and another mentally questionable smile from her sales assistant, whose smile never faltered even when her own did.
"I'm so sorry.", she started, flinching a little as his brows furrowed and he adopted a childishly adorable confused look. "I just realised I can't pay for these. The machine ate my card earlier and I hadn't actually intended coming in..."
He glanced at the bouquet and looked at her. "How much have you got?", he asked curiously.
Rifling through her pockets, Artemis pulled out the twenty she knew she had on her and a quarter. "I could give you twenty...", she trailed off awkwardly.
Ignoring her, he plucked the twenty and the quarter from her palm. The quarter found its way to a collection bucket in front of the register and the twenty was replaced with a crisp ten. He flashed her another smile and said, "Don't worry about it. This was the most fun I've had all day, it really isn't often enough people want hatred bouquets made up, it should totally be a thing- just saying. And if you really want to give this guy a message, what better way to do it than with ten dollar 'fuck you, buddy' flowers?" When he saw she was still going to argue with him he cut her off. "Please take them, if you're really that bothered about the cash just pay it forward or do something nice for someone else. I can easily cover the cost of a bouquet or two. I insist."
Sighing, Artemis conceded and put the ten back in her pocket. As she was shifting the bouquet in her arms she was distracted by another flash of colour. The guy's grin had turned sheepish and another bouquet of flowers was being handed to her. She looked at him in utter confusion and opened her mouth to speak, although nothing intelligent sounding came out.
"These are more of a gift, for you. Cause, you know, sometimes a girl just needs to get a bunch of flowers, especially if she's been having a bad day." The second bouquet was an assortment of pinkish and purple flowers, the only ones she recognised being the tulips, although the dark purple flowers she thought might be iris's. It was a lovely arrangement and she felt herself reaching for them automatically. A shy 'thank you' escaped her as she looked at the first bunch of flowers a guy had ever given her, and, now heavily laden down with flowers, she turned to leave. Just as she reached the door she called out over her shoulder, waving the smaller bouquet at the guy. "So what, these were a quarter?", she called out, a grin forming on her face. He snorted back.
"Nah, more of a souvenir."
Zatanna arrived at Artemis's apartment hoping that her friend hadn't totally trashed the place in a rage and that she could talk her friend out of murder and down to a muchmore sensible grievous bodily harm. Although the fact the apartment seemed deadly silent did little to encourage her. Chapping on the door, Zatanna called out, "Art? It's Zee. Can you let me in?" When there was no response Zatanna grew really worried. "Artemis? Art can you let me in?" Cursing quietly, Zatanna glared at the door before pulling a bobby pin from her pinned back dark locks and muttered to herself. "You'd better be okay Artemis."
"I'm fine Zee.", a voice came from behind her, causing the girl to jump. "Although I'd appreciate you not breaking into my apartment."
Spinning on her heels, the young woman came face to face with an obnoxiously bright bunch of flowers. Zee's heart sank.
"Please tell me those aren't from Cameron.", she blurted out, before slapping her hand over her mouth. To her ever growing surprise, and confusion, all Artemis did was laugh.
"No, these are for Cameron. Here, hold them while I get the door. I'll explain inside."
Once inside the two women stood in the kitchen, one admiring the mess of flowers while the other flitted around the kitchen fixing them both something to drink while trying to find something to place her small bouquet of flowers in. Eventually an old coffee jar was rinsed out and deemed good enough for the flowers and the two girls sat admiring the smaller, prettier bouquet. Zatanna broke the silence first.
"So. You bought flowers for Cameron...?"
"Yeah. Ten dollars, can you believe it.", Artemis enthused. Sparing a glance at the blindingly bright bouquet Zatanna privately thought ten dollars was probably more than it was worth.
"But why?"
Artemis's responding grin was somewhat unhinged looking. "That, my dear Zee, is ten dollars of 'Fuck you' in flower format." Artemis was pleased to see her friends confused expression morph into one of calculating glee. "So I'm giving them to Cameron at dinner tonight, because he's 'working late' again and needs to meet me at the restaurant, and then I'm breaking up with him."
Zee glanced at the flowers again. "You know he's not going to get that it's a 'fuck you' bouquet unless you describe it to him."
"And that's where I need your help. Do I explain what the flowers mean, or do I wait for him to give them to Tuppence?"
Zatanna's eyes lit up. "Art, that's so evil, were you a villain in another life? Oh, but how's Tuppence supposed to know the meanings behind the flowers?", Zee asked with a snap of her fingers.
"You know how's she's friends with Crystal and Louise Lincoln? Well they're getting married, and Louise has been going nuts looking up wedding stuff. Megan keeps bumping into them at wedding shows and whatever."
"And?"
"And the last ones they were at had a woman who was like a pro bridal bouquet builder. She has a shop somewhere in the city, I bet you they take the bouquet to her."
"And if they don't?"
Artemis shrugged. "Then I'm at least free of Cameron the cheat."
Zatanna glanced at the second set of flowers, proudly arranged in their hastily cleaned coffee jar, and slyly suggested, "And free to pursue other interests I'd guess."
Artemis followed her gaze with a soft smile. "Unlikely, he was sweet but totally weird, and a little annoying. Plus when's the next time I'm going to go to a flower shop.", she scoffed dismissively.
"Did he at least tell you what it means?", Zatanna asked, sounding slightly wistful. Artemis felt a little bad considering her friend was currently referring to the past year as 'the Great Drought' when it came to her love life.
"No. He just said that sometimes a girl needs to be given a bouquet of flowers. Told me it was a 'souvenir'." Zatanna humphed into her coffee before taking out her phone and snapping pictures of the arranged flowers. She waved the phone haughtily at her friend.
"You should care you know. It's not every day a girl gets flowers, certainly never as a 'souvenir'. And even if you don't care about the meaning, I want to know what it means."
Artemis swirled her coffee thoughtfully. "Zee, I know you'll find someone soon. We just need to broadened your search."
"To where? Ugh men are jerks, apart from your mystery flower boy. Was he cute?"
"Don't change the subject Zee.", Artemis warned.
"But mystery boys are so mysterious." Artemis rolled her eyes and left to get ready for the 'date'. "You're holding out on me Art.", Zatanna called out to the door Artemis had hidden herself behind. "I thought we were friends!" A muffled shush came from behind the door and Zatanna collapsed into peals of laughter.
The restaurant was fashionably crowded, and Artemis was kind of glad that Cameron was late again as their booked table still hadn't been cleared yet, some red headed girl was glaring at a dark haired man that looked vaguely familiar as he talked rapidly to someone on a cell phone. Artemis watched carefully as he turned more in her direction and seemed to say something that she couldn't quite catch, whatever it was the red head's scowl deepened and Artemis could tell that she was considering throwing her drink at the guy. Remembering another red head's suggestion of paying it forward, Artemis motioned to the bartender and asked for something sickeningly sweet to be sent over to the girl with the message of, 'Hey, don't waste a perfectly good drink on that guy- throw this one instead!', which the bartender just raised an eyebrow at. Huh, maybe flower guys insanity was contagious. The dark haired man on the cell frowned slightly as he noticed a drink being brought over for his date but was quickly distracted by his phone again.
It turned out to be his downfall.
The red hair stared in confusion at the drink, then with more confusion at the girl who'd sent it over before the waiter slipped her the napkin. The confusion turned to puzzlement, then to a malicious glee that was completely missed by cell phone guy. Honestly, he didn't even notice when she stood up.
He did notice however when the stupidly large amount of sugary alcohol was dumped over his head. The restaurant fell quiet as the guy exclaimed, "Babs, what the hell!"
To which the red headed girl replied, "I've been wanting to do that all night, I just didn't want to waste a perfectly good drink on you."
The man spluttered incoherently for a second before saying into his phone, "Listen I need to call you back."
But the woman cut in, "Don't bother Dick. We're done here. I'll call you if I need to."
"Babs, don't be like that. C'mon Babs..."
But the red head ignored him and made her way to the bar, finding a spot beside Artemis who was trying, and failing, not to laugh.
"Thanks for the save.", the girl, Babs, said quietly enough for the blonde to hear.
Artemis smiled and murmured, "No problem.", before spotting Cameron finally entering the building. More to herself than the girl she was standing beside she spoke a little louder and a little more determinedly. "Right. My turn."
Artemis stalked towards the table that a waitress was hastily cleaning off and purposefully sat herself in the non-sticky chair. It wasn't like she'd thought ahead when she'd bought the drink for the red headed girl, but she was glad that straight off the bat Cameron would be having an uncomfortable time. She half noticed the girl, Babs, had hung around to watch and had the thought to keep an eye on her, but was distracted by a very flushed Cameron sitting down across from her. He didn't even lean in to kiss her hello, just parked himself down with a disgusted grimace when he felt the sticky wetness of the chair. His attention was very quickly drawn to the flowers Artemis had placed on the table before he arrived. Pointing to them with a smile he joked, "Should I be worried?"
Artemis blinked in surprise. Did he actually just make a joke about her getting a gift from another man? Granted she had a perfectly nice bouquet of flowers in her flat that was a gift, but that wasn't the same, was it? Oh who was he to judge considering he was fucking another woman!
"Actually they're for you.", Artemis finally said. "I had it made up to tell you how I feel about you. Did you know flowers have specific meanings?"
Cameron paused in his perusal of the menu. "Uh, I did not."
"I didn't either until earlier. Found it very interesting though."
"So you've been having a good day?", he asked, focused intently on the menu. "Cause I had an absolute killer. I swear Dad is pushing me extra hard because I'm his son. And my back is killing me today."
'Probably from all the fucking on the desk', Artemis snidely thought. But she allowed Cameron to ramble on a bitch about insignificant things as she zoned in and out of the conversation. She glanced away once when she noticed the red head, now joined by the dark haired guy, staring in their direction and shushing her companion.
"I can't do this.", she heard herself saying. Interrupting whatever diatribe Cameron was in the middle of.
He shot her a glare for interrupting, before snarkily asking, "What can't you do any more Artemis."
"This.", she gestured between the two of them. "Us. I can't do it any more Cameron."
His face quickly morphed from anger to bewilderment. "What do you mean, what's wrong?"
Artemis started to laugh. "How can you sit there and ask me what's wrong?"
That just pissed him off more. "I'm not fucking psychic Artemis! I won't know what's wrong until you tell me."
Briefly aware that most of the restaurant, not just the red head and her ex, was now watching, some of the waiters with horrified expression on their faces, expecting the worst. Artemis tried to calm herself.
"No, you're not fucking psychic Cameron.", Artemis concurred loudly, figuring she'd put on a show. "You're just fucking Tuppence."
His face dropped and he blurted out, "Who told you.", before realising that he should probably try denying the whole thing first. Artemis stopped paying attention to him and allowed herself to look at the flowers. Standing, still ignoring his pleading, she plucked a small sprig of the birds-foot trefoil, vaguely remembering this was the one the guy in the store represented revenge. Cameron allowed himself enough breath to ask what she was doing before going back to begging her to just sit down for them to talk this out.
Tucking it behind her ear she muttered at him with a glare and a motion towards the flowers, "Souvenir.", before making her way to the exit.
A loud woop from the bar- most likely the red head- with a very boisterous, "You tell him girl!", led to some of the other patrons clapping Artemis as she left. She felt embarrassed but elated at the same time. Now all she needed was to find someone to take to Megan's wedding with her. Fuck.
