Disclaimers: The world and characters of Fushigi Yuugi are the property of the great Watase Yuu and other respective companies. This written piece is for personal entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is meant by this author.
Author's Notes: This songfic is based on the lyrics of the song "Hurt Before" by The Corrs, from their newest album, "In Blue".
"Moonlit"
by Nights
*****************
She would kiss the day, embracing the tender, yet almost glaring warmth of the sun. She feared the time that will snatch that fragile moment away, that almost surreal chance for her to grasp heat and warmth, for later at night, neither her body, her lips, nor her soul would be given the privilege to feel such in intensity, no, not ever again.
*****************
Sunset.
Soi wistfully watched the sun faded away, bright red slowly melting away into pale yellow of the moon. Its gone, she thought. Time for another night of cold passion.
Her words were so ironic, she almost laughed. But not tonight. Soi was used to the coldness of the touch donated to her by Nakago, and she had had enough wishing that a time would come for his skin to thrive on hers and for once, make her feel that the torch in her soul that she kept ablaze for the strongest Seiryuu seishi was not just one sided.
But Nakago was not the type to carry torches. Rather, he was the type to pretend that he does, only if it would satisfy his wishes. And his wishes? Not at all related to Soi.
This time Soi laughed, but not at the irony of her thoughts. Soi laughed at the bitterness and loneliness she was blessed with for the rest of her life.
She's a girl in a world
she's moving as fast as she goes
Loves her mom and her dad
The only secure that she knows
But at night, she's alone
She's dreaming of somebody new
Her someone, for someone to hold
She's praying that dream would come true
"What's so funny?"
Soi whirled around at hearing the light tenor, which of course, she knew belonged to Tomo.
He stood a few feet behind her, an elegant smile bemusing his esoteric, yet unpainted features. His arms were crossed, pushing his slightly tight garments towards his body , highlighting his lithe frame. He might as well be a woman with that body, Soi thought, remembering to frown at his intrusion to her private introspection. Nevertheless, Tomo stood there, nodding his head gracefully, obviously waiting for an answer.
"Its a private joke," she said finally, her voice flat and unaccomodating.
In spite of that, Tomo stepped forward and stood next to her. His gaze mapped the moon, shining only faintly but still enough to show its presence, his eyes cold and distant.
Apparently he had no plans of talking to her, but only attempted to share her space. Soi frowned at the thought of having to share her favorite spot in the palace, with Tomo of all people. Yet with a defeated sigh, she realized that she had no energy to argue with him.
They leaned at the window in silence, their eyes both worshipping the moon and the selected artifacts on the ground it lit and made visible, the silence between them undisturbed. The silence went on and on until one of the twins, Amiboshi perhaps, interrupted them.
"Hey Soi!" he called. Soi turned around. "Nakago's calling for you."
Amiboshi, yes, he probably was, seemed embarassed to have been given the errand of calling her. Soi sighed, yet replied. "Tell him I'll be ready in half an hour."
Show me the way
Show me, show me how
Help me be brave
for love
Show me the way
Show me, tell me how
What do you say
Soi didn' t wait for him to leave before she turned around and punched the wall, lighting flickering from her fingertips. Dammit, she thought bitterly. Usually he would call me himself. Is this what he thought of me now, just someone he calls for a yummy fuck? Am I not worth his time anymore that he can't call me himself?
"I don't think so, Soi."
She was so focused on her anger and bitterness, she practically forgot Tomo was there. Now he was looking at her, his eyes glazed with what seemed to be a mix of sympathy and envy.
"Shut up," she snapped. "What do you know, anyway? You're just a painted freak. You know nothing about being wanted by Nakago, so just get lost and mind your own business!"
When the glaze in Tomo's eyes turned to hatred and wanton anger, Soi suddenly felt afraid. She had always tested Tomo's patience, for he never seemed to leave his refined and elegant facade.
But to her surprise, he decided to turn his back on her, leaning on the window, his eyes glued to the sight outside the window. "You're wrong," he muttered, his voice low. "I may not know how it feels to be wanted by Nakago, but I do know that you're more to him than just someone to toy around with."
There's a pain in her heart
she's trying so hard to unwind
Makes her cry in midnight
when visions so real make her blind
Wants to break through the fear
erasing the scars from within
Start a new kind of day
she's down and she's praying again
Soi felt confused. Tomo never concealed the fact that he was in love with Nakago, and more so, that he hated her dearly for being the one person Nakago shared his bed with. Tomo was never the type to say kind words, even advice, especially to her.
Tomo seemed to have noticed her confusion, for he laughed. Soi braced herself to be speared by his cackle, which she often thought was "the height of ridicule", but she was taken aback by the rich, crescending tones. Soi felt even more confused than ever.
"You better go to him, he's waiting for you," he said, amusement flickering among the shadowed flecks of black in his eyes.
"Tomo, are you teasing me?"
He laughed again. "Perhaps."
"Perhaps?"
Tomo turned back at her, returning her smirk. "All right, so I am."
"Tomo, are you sure you feel all right? This isn't like you." Soi looked at him with concern.
"I feel fine, Soi darling. Now why don't you go now and enchant Nakago with your beauty, while I, the painted freak, will just sit here and continue wishing."
Show me the way
Show me, show me how
Help me be brave
for love
Show me the way
Show me, tell me how
What do you say
Soi felt a sudden stab of guilt. No wonder Tomo wasn't acting like himself, she had apparently struck a chord with her words and now he was trying to cover his hurt through teasing and laughter. She stepped forward, and hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Tomo..."
Tomo turned and returned her gaze. Soi froze as his eyes landed on hers, like an eagle swooping down on its prey. Her breath caught in her mouth. Without his makeup, Tomo was the most enchanting sight she has ever seen.
Moments passed before someone spoke. "Yes, Soi?" Tomo's voice was breathy, and as Soi replied, she was alarmed for her voice was even huskier than his.
"I...I didn't mean what I said, that you're a painted freak, I mean," she stammered. "I just-"
Tomo's face returned to its usual calm and refined demeanor. "There's no need to make me feel better, Soi," he replied smoothly. "You have no obligation to me, so there's no need to undo what you said. Now why don't you just go to Nakago and leave me be."
Now, Soi felt that she was in a fix. Tomo was right, she had no obligation to him. They weren't friends, they weren't that close, and surely they couldn't be any more cordial to each other. There was no need for her actions.
You see
she's turning the key
unlocking the door
embracing the roller-coaster world
Stepping outside
with body and soul
taking whatever future holds
Turning the key
unlocking the door
embracing the roller-coaster world
Taking a stride
you're just twenty five
You know we've all been hurt before
However, Soi didn't want to make him feel less than what he probably thought he was. She knew how that felt, and Nakago saved her from that. He may be cold-hearted, but Nakago followed his heart when it comes to the feelings of those close to him.
Nakago never received her warm touches and attempts to get closer to his being with open arms. Tomo would probably never do also, but that was what he needed, and Soi never begrudged anyone the comfort they need.
So she did something that she believed would be the wildest thing she had ever done in her life.
She leaned forward and kissed Tomo.
His lips were warm, slightly moist from the lick he had bestowed on it earlier, when he was contemplating on the moon's gentle features. Just one kiss. Feather-like, almost unreal, but enough to leave an imprint of Soi's meant motive.
You see
she's turning the key
unlocking the door
embracing the roller-coaster world
Stepping outside
with body and soul
taking whatever future holds
Turning the key
unlocking the door
embracing the roller-coaster world
Taking a stride
you're just twenty five
You know we've all been hurt before
She pulled away to see Tomo now staring at her in shock. She didn't give him time to register what happened. She turned around and slowly walked away, but before she went too far, she called back to him.
"Tomo, you shouldn't be afraid to ask for comfort if you need it. And believe me, you're not as ugly as you think you are."
We've all been hurt before
So you're not alone
With that, Soi walked away, smirking ever so slightly. The night may end with her being touched by an icy heart, but at least the day didn't pass without her caressing wamrth with her own.
You're not alone
As Soi walked away, she didn't see Tomo, whose eyes are now again mapping the moon. As it danced on his exquisite features, his face curled up, and for once, Tomo smiled and gentle laughed for real.
***The End****
