AN: Yet another deep one-shot. Hope you enjoy! R&R


I close my eyes…

Only for a moment, and the moment's gone…

All my dreams…

Pass before my eyes of curiosity…

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Now that we're home from the war, you'd think that my life would be better; more relaxed. How wrong you are.

However, in the lack of threat to our existence, I've been left with plenty of time on my hands, most of which is used for deep thought.

Deep thought; before the end of this war, I'd of laughed at the prospect and stuck to being the engineer I love being. I am that person, no more.

I use most of my time to think of what it had been; what it could have become; what I could've done.

She died because of my lack of preparedness. I tried putting the blame on others, but my subconscious would always remind me that she died because of me.

Now that I remember her, tears begin to form in my eyes. Life is really something so fragile. Life is like glass. It only takes one to hit hard enough to shatter a life. What shattered my life? Her death.

I now know that all life should be valued and protected. It is something so valuable, but so vulnerable; something that is worth so much, but we take for granted.

Could I have done something to prevent her death? Whatever it was, it's no longer useful, now. Lingering on the past and dreaming on what could've been distracts one from the now.

Still, I can never forget her. If I still remember her, her legacy lives on as I pass it from generation to generation.

I wonder what kind of sick game that Fate is playing at, or what big plan God is concocting. Did it have to have her die? Was that part of the plan?

The way I see it, we are merely pawns on the chess board of life. Perhaps our only purpose is to be sacrificed for the greater good.

Or perhaps we are seeds in an unevenly tilled plantation. Some of us are meant to develop, while others are unlucky enough to be grown in untilled lands, never having the chance to fully develop properly.

Even if we are seeds, we are at the mercy of the weather and animals around us. We cannot decide our fate. It is decided by some deity or simply by chance.

Life can change at the snap of a finger or the flick of a wrist. Life can slowly evolve, letting us get accustomed to it. But, it can also change rapidly, sometimes too fast for us to follow and keep up.

Any way you slice it, we are only specks in the universe. Perhaps she was a bigger speck, with a much bigger purpose in the universe. And she had fulfilled her duty. Should I not be happy for her?

No. It is because of fate that she's gone; away from me; somewhere where she can't be here with me. I'm angry with fate, I won't deny that. Still, fate could care less if I was angry with it. It won't change anything.

I'm still a part of its big plan. Maybe my sorrow is a part of its plan as well.

It is as though we are only water droplets in the ocean of life. The tide will ebb and pull us in any direction it chooses. Still, even the ocean's tide is governed by the gravitational pull of the moon. It represents the otherworldly being that could be overseeing the events of life, with its own plan in mind.

This is what we all are. Water in the ocean; grass on the prairie; leaves on the tree; fibers in the wood…

Everything is dust in the wind…

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Same old song…

Just a drop of water in an endless sea…

All we do…

Crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see…

Dust in the wind…

All we are is dust in the wind…