Leave Us Alone!!
A Fanfiction by Keystone
Disclaimer: I DO own the Teen Titans.
Leave Us Alone!!
Robin and raven were sitting on the couch. Robin turned on the t.v. There was nothing on. He looked at ravyn. "You look hott. Wanna do it here on the couch?" Raven closed her book. "Ok" she said. They started fooking and then Starfire flew in. "Glorious!" she yelled, and then joined in the fooking. Cyborg and Best Boy were playing video games when Best Boy said "Hey lets go see Rayven. She has been fooking a lot of people." "Okay, let's go fook her!" Cyborg yells. They went downstairs and into the living room/kitchen/meeting room and saw Robin fooking Starfire who was also fooking Raevin. "Wow! That's a lot of fooking!" Best Boy said to Cyborg. "Shut up you little green monkey!" Cyborg said. They all laughed. Then Trident showed up. "I am perfect. Look at my mighty muscles. You should fook me." "We should fook you?" Starfire said. Plop! She got off Robin and said to Trident "Fook me please. It would be so glorious." Then she turned to Best Boy. "Come here and put those claws on my grebnacks again." "Aw man, this is sweet" yelled Best Boy. Reavon looked at Cyborg who looked all alone. "Come here with me you burnin hunk of man meat. Let's see if it's true about black guys." "But I'm a robot. I don't have a piece." "Hahaha dick wit no prick!" Yelled Robin. "This is so mch fun, we shold all meat and fook more offten."
Suddenly, Beast Boy let go of the grebnacks and said "Dude, my head hurts. Something's wrong here.. There are no villains, no drama, and we're not training. Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?" "What do you mean, Beast Boy?" Cyborg said. "Just that. It didn't even start a new paragraph when you talked. And this paragraph. It isn't even indented. And dude, your speech is awful. Can't you talk right?" Beast Boy indicated Robin.
"What you meen?" Robin said to Beast Boy.
"That is what I mean. Say it like this: What do you mean?" Beast Boy spoke slowly and clearly for Robin to hear.
"Whhhaattt d-d-d-d-d-do yu, I mean, you mean?" Robin stuttered out, unsure. Suddenly, he stood straighter out and adjusted his mask. Beast Boy didn't notice it before but to Robin it seemed like it was falling off, trying to expose his mysterious eyes to the world. His whole body seemed to shift and he went from being so flat and animated to harder, rounded, and three dimensional.
"That's good. And your diction is much better. And you look real." Beast Boy said to him as he too was now in the third dimension. "Trident, leave, nobody here likes you. You're a bad guy, and you're slimey. Go home and fight Aqualad." He pointed to the door and and for some reason, a sad faced Trident shuffled out the front. "Now, what else is wrong here," Beast Boy turned back to face the remaining Titans and noticed something wrong with Starfire.
"Hey Star, come here for a second."
She floated over and BB noticed how her top seemed much smaller and tighter than usual. Also, her typical skirt that went down her thighs was gone. Replacing it was a much shorter one that just barely managed to cover her panties and keep her ass from flopping out. "Oh friend Best Boy, why did you stop the celebration, it was glorious. So glorious." She responded to BB in a very dazed tone.
"That was a question, Starfire, you are supposed to put the correct ending on the sentence to match its tone and make it agree." Star's face scrunched up as she considered his words. "Hey, stop saying 'glorious' so much when you talk. I know you're smarter than that. You know enough of our language to sound coherent and fluid. And my name isn't Best Boy, it's Beast Boy. You know that." He suddenly looked disgusted as he looked her up and down and saw how much skin she was showing. It just did not fit her. "And you're clothes, how did you get so loose all of a sudden? It doesn't look good." Beast Boy pointed to her now rather abnormal dress and watched her look down at herself.
She gasped at her own appearance, "Oh my! I must go now and change my clothes." She said over her shoulder as she flew out the door and toward her room.
"Takes care of that," Beast Boy said. Then he turned back to the main room and saw that Raven and Cyborg were on the couch making love. "Whoa, hey, stop you guys!" He screamed, diving in as a gorilla and pulling them apart. "What is wrong with you two? Don't you realize what could happen if you keep going?"
Fixing her body suit, Raven sat up and addressed Beast Boy. "You are just jealous he is getting some love while you got nothing." With a sly grin she pulled down the neck of her suit and allowed a little cleavage. Winking at Beast Boy she laid back into the sofa.
"Hey, you forget what happens when you let your emotions run like that? Shit blows up! Now think about it. When have you ever showed any romantic interest in any of us guys here? And furthermore, Your behavior is all about calm and inner peace. This is not you." He pointed at her to emphasize his words.
Listening intently to him, Raven leaned in closer and then grabbed her head as if she was suffering a great migraine. Three lamps exploded and the window panes cracked as she got up. "I have to go." Was all she said before she levitated out of the room, her body popping out and becoming round, solid, and real.
"What about me, man? What's wrong with me?" Cyborg spoke to Beast Boy, his two dimensional body flapping as the rooms air conditioning kicked in. "Tell me what's wrong with me!" He pleaded.
"Dude, you're dependant on others for help. It's not like you to ever ask anyone for help. You pride yourself on being the most independent part of this team. And you are entirely covered by armor. Remember the day at the lab? You have no limbs with which to make love. At least as far as I know. And even if you do, when you were on top of Raven, you should have crushed her. You weigh at least a ton."
Suddenly angry, Cyborg turned to walk away. "Fine! I don't need your help to figure it out!" Almost before he had finished his sentence, his body exploded outward. Muscles hardened and gears glistened in the light as they spun on free floating joints. Three dimensions of freedom defined his every move and he stared at himself in disbelief as he turned his hand end over end and marveled at it. The reality of it, the motion and unrestricted behavior caused a small tear to form in his eye. "I'm real..."
"We all are real. Someone is making us act this way. Making us degrade ourselves and act like such fools. We have to stop them before we get sent back to that way forever." He balled his small fist and the veins bulged in his arm.
At the same time, Starfire floated back into the room, in her typical modest, yet alluring alien garb. Her body forced the air aside as all of her curves and shapes pushed through it. She landed on the floor next to the three boys, with a new feature to her. Depth.
"Agreed. We must find this culprit and see to it that they are stopped for good. I do not wish to act like that ever again..." She shuddered and as if on cue Raven floated up through the floor.
"Take them out. Hard and quick before any more of this nonsense continues."
"Why, you don't need to stop anyone. I'm here now, so you can all relax." Came the voice of some youth in the doorway.
"And just who are you?" Beast Boy asked the intruding man.
"Heh," he snorted, "My name is Sword McBlade. You probably have heard of me. I'm a world renown swordsman and martial artist. Plus I studied magic for five years and can even teleport to wherever I wanna go. I am also super fast and quite strong, I might add." He finished and flipped his long black hair back over his shoulder. The Titans saw how he dressed in a long black overcoat with two katanas on his back. He also wore a tight black muscle shirt, black jeans and black boots with a black belt.
"Super fast, you say?" Beast Boy said as he placed his hand on Robin's shoulder.
"As fast as Flash. And almost as strong as-" He was cut off when the bird-a-rang thrown by Robin lodged itself in his throat. Blood flew freely as he fell to his knees.
"We don't need any help from any outsiders. We're a team." Cyborg said as the boy breathed his last breath.
"We should find out where he came from. Maybe we can get to wherever the source of this crap is." Raven spoke for the group. She levitated over to the body and pulled out the wallet from his back pocket. Opening it she saw an array of cards. Blockbuster movie rental, hot topic gift cards, Starbucks, and an anger management hotline number. And a school I.D. card.
"Look at this," she said as she sent the card over to Robin in an ebony shrouded bubble. "Maybe this is the guy we need to find."
Looking at the card, Robin let out a low sound as he read the card out loud. " George Theriault, Pembroke Pines High School. This is just some kid. That guy kind of looks like the dude on the card, but he is to handsome. So we need to find this clown, this George."
"Agreed," said Raven. "And here is the address. It is right on the inside of the wallet, next to a note with his phone number and his e-mail. We got him."
They all nodded and stood near Raven who wrapped the entire group in a black blanket of power. They disappeared from the main room of the Tower and traveled through the vortex created by Raven all the way to a small glowing square. It grew steadily larger until it dominated there whole view. Reaching out, their fingers touched against the cold surface, leaving smoking trails in its surface.
"Hey Jake, I made you some lunch honey! Are you hungry, baby?" A soft motherly voice came from behind a door. "It's your favorite..." She said, trying to entice her son to leave his room.
"I'm writing, mom!! Can't you just give me some time to be by myself! All I want is some privacy to do my own thing. Leave me alone!!" A harsh voice grated out, nasally and annoying.
"But sweety, it's been two days since you've left your room for anything other than school. I just miss you is all." The reply came in a soft voice, full of sadness and motherly tenderness.
"Get out of here!! I can see why dad stays at work all the time, God dammit!!" Came the nasally voice again. He heard the plate drop, and footsteps quickly and quietly moving away from the door. "Bitch.." he mumbled under his breath.
Turning back to the screen, he saw that he had somehow typed in his own characters death after the orgy he wrote. This isn't what he typed. How did this happen? He had only a second to think about it before his monitor was encased in a black glow and the five figures he spent all of his waking hours on were standing in front of him.
"Oh. My. God. You're the Titans!!! You guys are so awesome, especially you, Raven!" He moved closer to her and she slapped him in the face.
"Shut up, you thoughtless little nitwit. We all heard you talking to your mom that way. She deserves so much more than you."
"Look at you," Cyborg continued, "It's a beautiful day outside and you're in here in your underwear. This place is a mess, you have chip bags everywhere and empty dishes and shit everywhere, man. Clean this mess up!" He yelled as he knocked all the items off of the boys desk.
Robin stepped up to him. "What is your problem? She tries to make you some food and you insult her that way? Then you call her a bitch? And you want to associate with us? We don't do people like you. The mere fact that you think you can take your perverted little mind and make us do things makes us all want to die."
Picking him up off the ground, Starfire smiled right at him. Then she slapped the opposite side of his face as Raven had and he fell down again. "How dare you take us, your heros and make us do the things you do? I would never do that, and yet you find it amusing to see it happen. On my planet, we flay people like you while they are alive."
"And besides, dude," Beast boy chimed in, "You can't even spell. If you are gonna type up this, this fan-fiction stuff, then at least make some effort to make it readable. Give it a sensible plot, make the grammar good, make it have grammar, spell, get the names right, and for God's sake, stop making up people for us to be with. We don't need any more help. We can do just fine on our own."
"I can't believe how nasty you all are," Jake finally said. "All I try to do is honor you a little by devoting my time to telling stories about much you guys rock, and here you show up, in my world, and instead of saying thank you, yell at me and say I'm worthless."
Looking shocked, Raven stepped forward. "In our honor? You think it honors us to see depictions of us having sex, and bad sex often at that? And typically with strangers that people like you make up? These chumps have no character to them, nothing even remotely real or believable. Or by making us go and commit suicide and cut ourselves from YOUR angst and stupid depression? You know how many times I have actually cut myself? None! Never did, and never will, you little creep!"
"And this 'time' of yours? All you would do without us is go on chat rooms exclaiming how everything sucks so you can get yourself a date with low self confidence. Or you would just sit around and play around with your pecker all day long. Naw, you'd probably do both little sick child. There are so many things you could be doing that are productive. Take a walk even. Pick your big ass up and walk your dog around the neighborhood, meet some kids, throw a ball around, who cares? Just get up and do something in the real world. And clean this place up!!" Cyborg added, flailing his arms around in his ire.
"Besides dude, we're just cartoon characters. Maybe you see us on a page or on a screen, but we're only drawings. Our world is good enough for us, so don't go trying to make it anymore confusing. As you may have noticed, the place we come from is pretty hectic anyway." Beast Boy said to the kid on the ground, his dirty, disgusting carpet a breeding ground for dirty laundry and cheap two bit anime.
"Grow up and use us for what we are. Elements of a story. Write something good for us to use. Make it make sense. But I guess that is beyond your reasoning. So just do us a favor and don't write about us at all." Robin concluded. Then he turned to leave.
"But if we ever catch you pulling this shit again, we will come back and make sure you can't screw up anymore people's attempts to find good writing." He said over his shoulder.
"Just leave us alone, you stupid little trouser stain. I wish your mom had an abortion," Cyborg said without looking back as he dove back into the swirling black hole.
"Yeah, don't try anymore, dude. You're no good. Just admit and leave it to those who know what they are doing." Beast Boy abandoned his place and left through the same hole as Robin and Cyborg.
Starfire said nothing but kicked the sniveling little baby in the crotch and her and Raven both laughed at him, crying on the floor, before they too left through the dark girls mentally created wormhole.
As soon as they all arrived back at the Tower, the warning sirens went off, and Slade appeared on the main screen. "Looks like we have some real work to do," Robin said to his team, and they left to go fulfill their purpose.
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Okay you guys, unless you're a total fucking imbecile, you got the point. If you wanna write, fine. Just put some thought into it before you do it or someone will show up at your door one day and beat you with a hammer. It will probably be me. I'm 6'1" and 186 pounds. You'll recognize me. I'll wave while I pummel some sense into your thick primate fucking head. Have a nice day.
And I do realize that there may be actual errors in this story I did not purposely write. I don't care, I make no apologies. Liberace doesn't apologize, neither do I.
