::chirp::

::chirp::

::chirp::

::croak::

*Damn frog*



Gourry's Wit and Rules To Live By



:: Go along with: No Sex In the Champagne Room by Chris
Rock. ::


Gourry~~~~~

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Slayers Universe and that
transfer student from Georgia Tech. I have one piece
of advice for you. No matter if you're really hungry,
never take the last breadroll from a girl.

Don't.

Oh, they might look all sweet, cute, and innocent...
But as soon as you take the roll, they will strike.
And you'll end up in the next kingdom, or another
world.

Never fight by thinking with your ego and manhood
Sure it makes you feel real tough and manly
But what about when the day you met your match?
You won't only lose your ego

If a girl tells you she's a royal princess from pretty
much anywhere, she's looney
If a girl says she's a sorceress and she looks 16, she
can kick your ass

Zangulus, take off that silly-ass hat!

Why do people think I'm stupid because I don't know
about magic?
I'm a swordsman, you idiots!

Listen people, if you are in any way wronged by a
petite, powerful, and ill-tempered sorceress named
Lina...
Let it slide
Why spend the next 20 years in traction, b/c she
accidentally leveled your house?

Seconds. Ain't nothing wrong with that!

No matter what you think of what I'm saying
Remember this one thing:
Never, ever trust a purple-haired priest.

Xellos::singing:: :

Don't ever trust a purple-haired priest! ::repeat 6
times::
Absolutely no purple-haired priests with really cute
rears!

Gourry~~~

If you see a girl wearing a dress, immediately look
under it
Just to see what's in there
Sometimes they carry dangerous weapons or horde food

Xellos::singing:: : Better safe than sorry...

Gourry~~~~~~~~~

Even if you think the girl is bad, her big sister is
worse
For the guy who invented high-heels, I will find you
and kill you.

all you really need to know about the Dark
Lords*

Hellmaster: He died

Lei Magnus: Freeze-Pop

LON: Lives on Elm Street

Zellas: Weight-lifter

Grausherra: Lives with Santa
~~~~~
The scariest guys don't know squat about magic

If you've been dating a girl with a "no-nookie" rule
And she never shown you anything yet
You will remain a virgin until your 33

Some of the things I'd said may not apply to you
Some of the things I'd said may offend you
But no matter who you are
You must remember this one thing:

No matter how life gets you down, a Freeze-Pop makes
it better.

Or two.

::Gourry leaves::

Xellos::singing:: : Freeze-Pops are so yummy and good! I
like the purple ones the best! I love 'em, I love 'em!
Especially, especially the purple ones! Red is good
too! Lime and banana... ::Xellos continues singing like
a dork until the music ends::