Hey y'all! So this is my first fic ever and it is highly AU! The basic premise is that Kara was awake the entire time in the phantom zone, and remembers every second of it, making her shut everyone out, rather than be the little pure relational bean we know and love on the show. She still is a pure bean in this, but she is also a bit of an asshole, hence the title. Also, in order for you understand this fix better, it is imperative that you know that Alex, in this story is two years YOUNGER than Kara. She, Lena, and Maggie are all the same age and have known each other since high school. But there ya go! That's all you need to know to start! I hope you like it! Please feel free to give me criticism in the comments for anything bad that's in here!
As Lena weaved her way through the hordes of other students rushing around trying to find their dorms, she kept her eyes peeled, searching for Noonan's, a little coffee shop she was meant to meet up with her friends at. At last, she found the little hole-in-the-wall, and with a small triumphant smile on her face, she made her way over and into the small building. She scanned the building and quickly found the redhead and little brunette she was looking for. With a grin, she made her made her way over to the small table in the back inhabited by her friends, and sat down. "Hey! How are the rest of my lesbian trinity doing?"
Alex groaned, and banged her head lightly on the table in mock frustration. "I don't see why you had to come up with that nickname for us. We are just friends, who are all coincidentally gay," she whined, glaring slightly at Lena.
Maggie smiled lovingly at Alex and gave her quick peck on the cheek, wrapping an arm around her frustrated girlfriend's shoulders. "I don't know babe," she chuckled, throwing a wide smile at Lena from across the table, "I think it's kind of cute. It's much better than some of the other things she could have thought of. Like, oh, I don't know, maybe the lesbateers? Or how about Lesbian's Child? Hah, like Destiny's child!" Maggie grinned at Alex cheekily, before giving Lena a thoughtful look,"Hmm, I don't know, Lena can you think of one for the three stooges or the good, the bad, and the ugly?"
Lena smiled and then looked thoughtful for a second before grinning triumphantly and pointing at herself, "The lipstick," she then pointed at Maggie,"the butch," and finally pointed at Alex, "and the baby." She then frowned, "Ehh, that wasn't my best one."
Alex rubbed her shoulder, an annoyed frown on her face, and protested,"I don't know why I'm the baby. It's been six months since I came out! That's a long time!"
Maggie grinned and mock-sympathetically said, "Aww, poor wittle Alex, you're the baby." She then sobered up,"But really, we came out at fifteen, three years ago, babe. If anyone is the baby, it's you."
Alex frowned and grumbled something along the lines of 'Damn girlfriend'. She then cleared her throat and looked up at Lena and Maggie expectantly, "Well, we're all here to share our classes, fess up kiddos," as she slammed her class list onto the table.
Lena and Maggie both sighed and began to rummage through their bags, searching for their class list. Maggie found hers first, and slid it onto the table happily, Lena not far behind. Maggie held up her paper and scanned it quickly, "Well, I've got Criminal Justice 101 with Lane, Language and Comp with Grant, and Chem with Schott. What about you guys?"
Alex sighed and picked up her paper, eyes flitting over the page, "I have, ooh! Chem with Schott, maybe we have it at the same time?" Alex asked hopefully, eyes glinting with excitement at the prospect of having her girlfriend in one of her classes.
Maggie grinned and searched her paper, " I have it Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at noon, how about you?"
Alex grinned ecstatically, "Same! Yay! We have a class together! This will be so much fun!" Maggie grinned and pulled Alex into a kiss.
After about thirty seconds of awkwardly looking in any direction other than at her two friends currently locked lips, Lena realised that the two weren't going to stopping any time soon on their own accord. Reluctantly, she loudly cleared her throat, and awkwardly asked, "So uh, Alex, what are your other classes?"
Alex and Maggie, finally realising that Lena, was, in fact, still there, quickly broke apart and began cleaning themselves up, albeit a little sheepishly. Alex shoved a hand through her long hair, and cleared her throat, "Right, well, uh, let me take a look," she gingerly picked up her paper as Maggie grinned apologetically at Lena, who gave her a gracious smile in return. Alex spoke up, "Well, as we know already," she glanced at Maggie with a sly grin, "I have Chem with Schott, Calc 3 with Vasquez, and Literature and Comp with Grant. What about you, Lena?" she asked, looking up at Lena curiously.
Lena quickly picked up her paper and scanned over it, "I have Physics with Schott, Business English with Olsen, and Astronomy with Danvers." Lena's brows then furrowed, along with Maggie's, they both looked to Alex, curiosity written on their faces. "Danvers?" Lena asked, "Any relation, Alex?"
Alex frowned and groaned, frustrated. "Sadly. She's my older sister. Fucking hate her. She's a bitch."
Lena and Maggie looked at each other, shock clearly written on their faces, then they both looked back to Alex, "What?" they asked simultaneously. "Please explain." Lena said, her face questioning.
Alex sighed, her hand running over her face in exasperation, "When I was eleven, we adopted Kara, who was thirteen after her parents died. We never got along. She was super smart, like Einstein or Stephen Hawking level smart, and me, being the immature kid I was, hated her for it. I was really jealous, she stole my spotlight. She didn't like me either, or anyone in the family for that matter. She shut us all out. But at sixteen she got emancipated and left to travel all around the world to go to the best colleges. At first she would visit during holidays, but now we only see her at Christmas, and we don't even exchange gifts. The only nice thing she ever did for me was get me free tuition and board here, so I decided why the hell not take her up on the offer. But otherwise she's been the devil's incarnate, so intellectually snobbish." Alex shuddered. "Really Lena, I feel sorry for you."
As Lena frowned in worry, all she could think about was how screwed she was.
Hey! Hoped you like it! I hope my writing annoying stylistic changes weren't too annoying or confusing.
