John Tracy stood in silence, an air of sullen misery surrounded the sad man. Looking around he sighed to himself, 'Where had they gone so wrong?' A question that had plagued John Tracy for years.

It had been a few hours since he had touched down from his time up on thunderbird five. As per usual he had made his way to Alan's room. He had sworn to himself since the day he found out Alan was missing, and every day since to never stop searching. It was hard of course, two and a half years since hearing the news and to have found no trace of his youngest brother broke John's heart.

But in his room, John felt close to his wayward brother. A reminder of what he had lost, and a strong incentive to find the youngest Tracy.

'Not that he'd want to be found.' Johns thoughts turned bitter. 'It's our own damned faults.' And in a way it was. After all had they listened to him in the first place, he'd on the island, probably stirring up trouble with Gorden.

A knock on the door broke John from his thoughts. "Everyone's waiting for you so we can start dinner." Scott stood in the door way looking directly at John. Scott, unlike John couldn't bare being in the room, it hurt to much.

"Not everyone." John looked around the room one last time before walking out.

On their way down Scott kept looking at his brother, wanting to say it something, anything to bring John back. Afterall when Alan left he took a bit of all of them with him, but John was most affected. "John I know that...look I understand how-"

"Do you Scott, do you?" John cut him off. "I know you think you understand how it feels but you don't. He may be your brother as well, but you weren't the one kept in the dark for months as the rest of you search frantically. I had a right to know but none of you said anything! For that I will never forgive you." John strode forward, ignoring his older brothers hurt look.

The dinner was a quiet affair. The tension at the table was tangible. John's return to earth always had a cool down period. After all, it was much easier to ignore the fact that one of your brothers hated you when said brother was a million miles away in space. When he touched back down it was a hard reminder that out of five Tracy sons, only three spoke to each other regularly save for rescue missions.

Jefferson Tracy was infinitely glad to have John home. Since his youngest's disappearance he alway wanted all of his sons safe at home. He didn't know how to fix the broken bond that the brothers once shared. John while probably the most compassionate, level minded and quiet of his sons, he certainly could hold a grudge. Not that any of them could blame him had their positions been switched Jeff was certain that any other member of the family would have upped anf left permanently, quitting International Rescue and all ties with the family. No, no one blamed John for acting the way he did, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"I'm going to the mainland tomorrow, I'm going to try Japan." John said as he finished his meal.

"Are you sure? You could search from home, like your brothers often do." Jeff held his breath, even though he knew it was what John always did, leaving the island to search, it didn't mean he wouldn't try to keep him at home. The irrational side of Jefferson Tracy said that John would disappear just like Alan had, and he'd never see his second born again.

"Yes I'm sure. Sitting around here clearly hasn't done anything to find Alan. I'd go tonight but Lady Penelope asked me to pick some things up in London tomorrow, you know, because she's been meeting with their politicians and whatever. I'll stop off in England there before heading to Tokyo." John got up from the table thanked Ohana for the meal and went to his room.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive us?" Gordon asked sullenly.

"John...well he's John. He may act like he hates us, but he's just hurting. He loves us, you know when you were hurt in Brazil he checked in each hour. Shows he still cares." Virgil consoled the normally jovial brother.

"Yeah well I wish he'd show it. We already lost one brother, I don't think I could stand losing another."

"Don't talk like that. Alan...he's out there somewhere and when he's ready he'll come home." Scott looked Gordon in the eye, "He will come home."

This had been how the Tracy's had lived for the last few years. Brothers each in denial in one way or another. Apt hey had no one to blame but themselves.

Alexander Monae walked down the cold streets of London. The eery setting set a dark atmosphere, which if truth be told, suited Alexander just fine. It was late, too late to be up doing honest work, that paired with the part of town he was headed toward would mean for any police officer to either pull him up, or pretend they never even saw him. Afterall, why should the police go looking for trouble on an already troublesome night.

Alexander, if one looked close enough was what many would expect. He also wasn't quite who he said he was...hadn't been for a long time. Whether it be Alexander Monae, Isaac Meltin, Joseph Smith or Sam Glover, he could change his name as easily as one might change clothes.

The man in question moved into old run down building, better off condemned, and yet to some it was a place where they could sleep. Certainly not a home, no one could call such a place home, but better than risking the streets...never know who might be dwelling in the dark.

"You're late sweetheart." Alexander turned to find another resident smiling flirtatiously at him.

"Good evening Bella." He nodded toward her while moving up the stair to his rooms.

"Come now it not even the evening anymore dearie, ip we are in the beginnings of a new day." She moves to bring him into her slightly clumsy dance.

"Your drunk." He reached his room, and began fishing for his keys in his pockets.

"As usual Mr Mysterious." She begins giggling to herself and running her hands up his arms. "Let's have some fun."

"Bella I'm going to sleep, something I may suggest you do as well." He unlocks the door with a click, and the door creaked open.

"I good idea, let's go to bed together, sweetheart." She giggles again and leans against the door frame for support.

"Bella." Alexander cuts out, warning her.

"You're no fun." The woman pouts at him, and he just roles his eyes. "So dang frigid, wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she offered herself on a sliver plater."

"I'll check on you in the morning." He replies curtly before closing the door.

It had been a long day. They were always so long.

Pulling off his hooded jacket he moved towards his bedroom. Dinner his mind reminded him fleetingly. Can wait as it always does. And it often did. It had been years since he had had three meals in one day. It had been even longer since he had actually enjoyed eating a meal.

He had no disorder, well not exactly any diagnosable one. He knew eating was important, and so ate at least once a day, but years of habit do not break easily, no matter how much one might with it. He had never thought himself fat, the thought had never crossed his mind, no he didn't eat because there was far more important thing to do in life...like staying alive.

Tomorrow would be no different.

John couldn't sleep. Maybe it was that he was now back on earth that caused him to stay awake. Even John knew that was a weak excuse at best, he had always been able to fall asleep anywhere, a gift during traveling and against jet lag.

John couldn't sleep because he had a niggling feeling at the back of his mind. Not even the stars could calm him.

Of course he was thinking of his youngest brother. His mind often returned to Alan. Tomorrow he would search for him again. He wouldn't give up, not ever. And yet the niggling feeling...ominous almost, stirred worrisome thoughts for Alan. For some reason he felt he needed to find Alan soon, if not something bad will happen. And if something bad happens around a Tracy, it often turned catastrophic.

Yes, tomorrow everything would change.