Lil' Zelda Careers: Fires, Rice, Carrots, and Extra Mustard!!
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny! *looks around* Oh, wait......lemme try that again..............................HELLO!!!! ^_^ I'm back! This time with CAREERS!!! Heeheeheeheeheeeee!!!
Disclaimer: Me no own Zelda. Me only own my messed up mangas and fics. Me no own. You no sue.
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(new line!!)
Link: Le Jobless Flying Man (yes, I'm going to write the FIRST
chapter like this...I just think it's easier to start a fic like this ^_^)
Also...Zelda: Miss Executive Ma'am (there's kinda two people in this
segment ^^)
"Miss Zelda, Miss executive, ma'am!!!!" cried Link, running up to a blonde chick. She looked at him.
"Yes?"
"Um...I was wondering...." He shuffled his feet, and Zelda looked at him.
"Go on..." she said, blushing.
"...um...I've known you since preschool and all that...and..." He blushed.
"Yes?" she asked, excited.
"Um...........well...........can I have a raise?" he asked Zelda- his boss.
Zelda blinked.
Suddenly, Link was flying out of the second story window.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!"
He hit the ground with a loud...well...thunk.
"THUNK!!"
Yep.
*~+~*
Malon: The Bar Singer...Oy...
Suddenly, a soothing melody reached Link's ears.
"A 747, FELL OUTTA HEAVEN!! CRASHED THROUGH THE ROOF OF A 7-11!!! YOU'RE WORKIN ON A SLURPEE, THINGS GET HAZY...REACH FOR A TWINKIE, NOW YOU'RE PUSHIN UP DAISIES!!!"
...well...SORTA soothing.
Link looked in the direction of a bar. He walked in. Oh how blunt that sentence was!
"DO-YOU-KNOW-WHERE-YOU GONNA GO???" screamed an overenthusiastic redhead into a microphone. "STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN....OR DOWN THE HOOOOOOOLE?!?!" Then she screeched into the mic, killing off what was left of the cockroaches in the ceiling.
She was up on a stage, and then she grabbed some random guitar, and smashed it on a speaker. "AIEEEE!!!!"
Link blinked. "Malon??"
The redhead looked at him. Considering there was no audience, she walked off the stage to talk to him. "Yeah?"
"Is this that new, super-cool job you told me about?"
"..." Malon blinked, and was about to answer, but stopped herself. "Don't YOU have a "super-cool" job to be at?"
"..."
"Thought so."
Link sniffed the air. "Is something...burning?"
"No of course not..." She paused. "...wait...I DO smell something..."
"It smells oddly like a stringed musical instrument burning on top of an electronic speaker..." Both Malon and Link looked over to where Malon had smashed her random guitar.
It was on fire. More bluntness!
"CROIKEY!!"
"HURRY!! PUT IT OUT!!"
"........um......." Link grabbed a glass of water, and poured it on the flames. The flames practically doubled in size.
"CRAP! WHAT KIND OF WATER WAS THAT?!?!"
*~+~*
Saria: Fire Fighter Chick
Mido: Fire Fighter Dude
Malon and Link ran around the room screaming their heads off.
Link crashed into the telephone.
"Hello. This is the operator."
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh......" Link looked at Malon, who was fanning the flames, trying to get them smaller. The were getting bigger. "Well...we have a fire...at the...um...random bar place."
"Oh. That's nice."
Link blinked, and looked at the phone. "Um...would you mind getting 911?"
"OK." The operator hung up.
"..." Link heard the clicky sound. "Um...hello? Hello? Hello? Miss Operator???????"
Malon ran over to Link, and kicked him. "YOU IDIOT! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! DO SOMETHING!!!!"
"...I just called 911...I think."
"YOU THINK???"
"Yeah." he said.
"Okay." They waited for about five minutes, occasionally running around screaming.
Suddenly they heard the siren thingy from a fire engine.
"YAY! We're saved!" shouted Malon. She started jumping up and down.
Link blinked. "...we could have just walked out the door."
"Oh, yes. We could have, couldn't we?"
Two people barged into the room. "Hey! You two! Get out! We're gonna disperse the flames!!" said one of them. But Malon and Link couldn't understand them, because of their headgear thingy.
To them, it sounded like it was saying, "RAAAWR!!! RAWR! ROAR! GROWL!! SNARL!!"
Malon started screaming. "EEEEEE!!! IT'S A MONSTER!! GET IT OUT! GET IT OOOOOOUT!!!!"
She and Link ran out the door.
One of the monsters looked at the other. It took it's helmet off.
It was a girl with green hair. She took a fire hose, and watered down the fire.
"That was simple, wasn't it Mido?"
"Yes it was, Saria."
Then, they heard looooud screaming. We're talkin LOUD. We're talkin "Dang, where's my earplugs?" loud!!
*~+~*
Ganondorf: Miserable Dude
Nabooru: Rice, Carrots, and extra Mustard Girl!!
"GIVE ME SOME DAGNABBIT RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!! @#(*%^#(%*^#(%*^@#*%#(^%(*#^!!!!!!"
"I-I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-sorry, Ma'am....we don't serve rice, carrots, and extra mustard." stuttered the poor McDonald's cashier.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! THIS IS A *%!#%@$ MCDONALD'S!!! YOU GOTTA HAVE SOME DAGNABBIT RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!" screeched Nabooru at the top of her lungs.
"Um...Nabby? I don't think McDonald's HAS rice, carrot--" started Ganondorf.
"ARE YOU TELLING ME I WAS WRONG IN COMING HERE?! GANONDORF DRAGMIRE, IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD FROM YOU, YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR THE REST OF YOU RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD DEPRIVED LIFE!!!!"
Saria and Mido barged in, now magically wearing police uniforms.
"What seems to be the problem, here?!" shouted Mido.
Nabooru turned to them. "THEY WON'T GIVE ME ANY DAGNABBIT RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!!"
Saria blinked. "Nabooru? McDonald's doesn't HAVE rice, carrots, and extra mustard."
Nabooru grabbed Ganondorf by the neck and started shaking him. "YOU TOLD ME THEY HAD RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!"
"NO---*gasp*---I DIDN'T---*choke*--I REMEMBER!!"
Nabooru's eyes got wide. "I. MUST. HAVE. RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!" She grabbed Ganondorf by the neck again, and dragged him out the door.
The McDonald's cashier blinked. "I need a new job..."
*~+~*
Ruto: Sushi Woman!
Nabooru barged into a sushi restaurant. "GIVE ME SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!"
A blue lady behind the counter smiled. "Welcome to Ruto's Raw Rish Restaurant!!"
"Rish?" asked Ganondorf.
"FISH WITH AN 'R'!!! It matches our NAME!!!!" screamed the blue lady. I don't want to introduce her properly, so she'll just be Ruto. Controversial, no?
"Ah."
Nabooru turned red from rage. "DID YOU JUST IGNORE ME?!?! YOU (*^%*&@#^% FISH THAT #(*^%#(*^#% AND @#($*&%#$(*%& AND #(*&%^ SOME MORE!!! I ASKED FOR RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!"
"OK!!" Ruto reached behind the counter and pulled out an orange lollipop. "That'll be $34.99!!"
Ganondorf raised his eyebrow. "For an orange lollip--"
Nabooru interrupted him. "THAT AIN'T RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!"
"OH!! I thought you said 'Orange Lollipop'!!" Ruto pulled a plate of sushi out from under the counter. "That'll be $86.23!!!!!"
Nabooru screamed as loud as she could. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! YOU DEFORMED FIIIIISH!!!! I SHOULD HAVE EATEN YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!!!! GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Nabooru ran over to a corner in the restaurant. "Waaaaaaaaah!!! Nobody understands lil ol meeee!! *sniff sniff* I just wanted some rice, carrots, and extra mustard!" She started crying.
Ganondorf walked up to her. "Hun? Are you feeling OK?"
Nabooru stood up. "DO I LOOOOOOOOK OK?!?! I NEED SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!! WHERE ON THIS *^@^$)! PLANET CAN I GET SOME?!?!?!"
Nabooru grabbed Ganondorf by the neck again, and ran out of the store.
Ruto smiled. "Come again!!
*~+~*
Anju: Popsicle Stand Lady
Kafei: Popsicle Stand Guy
After all this time, Link and Malon had only ran five yards away from the bar.
Coincidentally, they ran right into a popsicle stand. There was a girl with red hair, and a guy with purple hair running it.
"Anju? Kafei?" asked Malon. "Do you...err....work here?"
Anju and Kafei nodded.
"We've started our own business!!" said Anju proudly.
Link read the sign on the popsicle cart. "Anjafei's Popsicle Poppy Paradise?"
Kafei nodded. "I thought of it myself!!"
Suddenly, Nabooru and Ganondorf ran up to them. Will the truckload of coincidences never cease!!"
"GIVE ME SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!"
Anju smiled like a ditz. "I'm sorry. We don't have that flavor. You can try Grapes, Bread, and extra Tarter Sauce if you want!"
Nabooru thought it over for a whole two seconds. "NO!!! I NEED RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!" She grabbed Link, and started thwacking him over the head. "GIVE. ME. SOME. RICE. CARROTS. AND EXTRA MUSTAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I-Ow!-don't-Ow!-know-Ow!-what-Ow!-you're-Ow!-talking-Ow!-ABOUT!!!!"
Nabooru closed her eyes. "IT'S SIMPLE!! JUST GET ME SOME RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD!!!!!!"
Malon scratched her head. "How many times have you said that?"
"14 and still counting..." muttered Ganondorf.
Nabooru turned to him. "ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I SAY RICE, CARROTS, AND EXTRA MUSTARD TOO MUCH?!?!"
"N-n-n-n-n-n-nooooo!!!!"
"GOOD!!!"
Kafei looked at Nabooru. "Why do you need rice, carrots, and extra mustard?"
"I DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!! I JUST WANT IT!! IS THAT A CRIME?!?!"
"If you're beating up helpless people, and causing a commotion...YEAH!!" shouted Malon. She stood up on the popsicle stand. "IF YOU BEAT UP HELPLESS PEOPLE, CLAP YOUR HANDS!!! IF YOU'RE CAUSING A COMMOTION CLAP YOUR HANDS!!! IF NEED SOME RICE AND CARROTS, WITH SOME EXTRA-WEXTRA MUSTARD...IF YOU NEED THIS ICKY DISH, NOW CLAP YOUR HANDS!!!"
Nabooru narrowed her eyes. "I'll clap my hands, alright...." She walked up to Ganondorf. "AIE!!!" She smacked Ganondorf on his face as hard as she could. Which is pretty darn hard.
"AAAAAAUGH!!!!"
Nabooru turned to the popsicle stand people. "I'll be going now. Thank you!!" Smiling, she skipped off, with Ganondorf in tow.
Everyone stared off after them.
"That was............strange..."
"Queer..."
"Odd..."
"Bizarre..."
"Weird..."
"Peculiar..."
"Unusual..."
"Other synonyms for that word....."
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*sweatdrop* Umm.......sorry for the crappy factor of this chapter....and the horrendous ending........and for being too long and not making sense........and for using the phrase "rice, carrots, and extra mustard" 21 times too many...and for having too much screaming...and--Oh, for goodness sakes! I'M SORRY THAT THIS SUCKED!!
But I had to get this up fast, because it's been WAY too long since College ended! Gah!!
Poll!
Why do you think Nabooru was cranky, wanted rice, carrots, and extra mustard??
She has an eating disorder! I don't know what THAT
has to do with anything, though...
It's THAT time of the month! She wants to be cranky!!
She's pregnant! Cravings, dude!
She needs some for cooking!! Dirty rice is yummy!!
She's hungry, and THAT'S just what she wanted!!
I HAVE NO IDEA!!
TELL ME!! ^-^
