Halloween Unspectacular may be over...but I have other tricks up my sleeve.


WEEK ONE: Orientation; or How I Learned I Was Trying Too Hard To Be Scary In An Art Gallery

Picture, if you will, an urban nightmare.

This is the modern labyrinth, designed by a bold American who truly believed in his vision – a vision of a new world, dominated by roundabouts and lakes and nature strips. He believed in peace and prosperity in his land, but black hearted individuals robbed these from him. The dark soulled men soured the earth, constructing evil buildings that drained the love of life from men, and populated the region with the lowest form of life. The scuttling and shifting things would overtake the whole of the land, and they would come to dominate the country. The enslaved masses would be forced to listen to their prattling and hissing every week, and this ritual would be called Question Time.

For this Lovecraftian abomination was to be known as CANBERRA, which was a local word which meant 'dumping ground for politicians', and all would look upon it and despair.

And it is here, dear reader, where we meet – in the dark halls of an art gallery.

I had it built in a deal with the Devil's lesser known cousin Larry, who received in exchange one hundred coupons for a free hotdog from the King of the Donuts, the Donut King. It is made from the souls of a thousand despaired peak hour commuters, and is powered by the screams of road-raged drivers from Hull.

Behind the oak door before which we stand are four paintings but beware! – for all carry a terrible curse. There is also a vending machine, which also carries a terrible curse – Coca Cola Life. And if you'll follow me, you will be sure to find-

"What the heck are you doing here?"

The security guard shined his torch into my eyes, causing me to flinch and lose any semblance of menace.

"Ow! Hey!" I spluttered, "Stop that!"

The guard lowered his torch.

"Well?"

"I was introducing people to my gallery of terror," I said, pointing at the camera I had set up.

"You mean the National Gallery?" quizzed the guard.

"Don't tell them that," I muttered.

"Look, do you have a permit or anything, Mac?" demanded the guard (for some reason he was from New Jersey).

I sighed and pulled a permission form out of my shirt pocket.

"Is this good enough, sir?" I grunted.

The guard looked over it.

"Sorry to disturb you," he nodded, "Carry on."

I rolled my eyes and picked up the camera.

"Now that my creepy introduction has been thoroughly ruined," I grumbled, "Let's go in."

I opened the door, revealing a small, narrow room with four paintings on the left wall. I set the camera and tripod down and closed the door, ensuring the only light was from the camera's torch.

"Upon these walls are four artworks," I declared, "Each tells a disturbing tale. They were acquired from a dealer in Latveria and are crafted from magic paints. The tales within them will unveil before us, but beware! They can be a tad disturbing."

I smirked.

"So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show," I declared, "For four of the most disturbed and off-kilter things ever recorded await you. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all, to E350's House of Night Terrors!"


WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF NIGHT TERRORS!

Throughout October we shall be bringing you the most unhinged and deranged stories that E350 can possibly dream of.

The fourth still remains a mystery, but the first three can be revealed immediately. For the Nicktoons fans among you, we shall start by presenting NICKHOUSE OF THE DEAD, an eerie tale of isolation, building management and zombies.

On the second week of the series, we shall present E3's first ever Steven Universe story, I, PERDIOT, which we are sure will give you a new...understanding...of what it is like to be the green, somewhat unhinged gem.

On the third week, we'll give something to those who like Gravity Falls with HOTEL CALIFORNIA, a reference to the Eagles and proof that these people can't even go on holiday without weird things happening to them.

And finally, on Halloween Night...well, you'll have to wait and see, won't you. But we assure you, it'll be blast.

By the way, it would pay to keep an eye out during the framing device. You're not the only ones keeping watch on our writing chimp tonight.

Do enjoy, dear readers. This ought to be an interesting little experiment...


AN: Enjoy. :)